Friday Wrap Up

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What do you mean it's about time I got back here? That weekly blogging is not blogging at all?

That's just ... just ... OH THE HUMANITY!

It's not that I don't have anything to say. I mean, I can always find a way to stir the pot, even if I have to use a dried out ball point pen to do it. What I have discovered is that often times, when the thoughts are bumping into each other in my head, it's next to impossible to organize them enough to get them on paper ... errr ... screen!

This has been one of those weeks.

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I continue to be disturbed by the Trayvon Martin murder, and not just about the circumstances surrounding his murder either. The racial divide (those who feel race/prejudice played a part vs. those who don't) is equally disturbing.

A survey this week of 3,006 adults across the United States found that 73 percent of blacks believe George Zimmerman would have been arrested if Trayvon was white, while only 33 percent of whites believed so. And 52 percent of white Americans polled said race made no difference in the case, while 85 percent of blacks believe that race played at least some roll in the way the events have unfolded thus far (via USA Today/Gallup).

Who's right? Well? I believe that many white folks have a very difficult time accepting that Trayvon's murder (and the way it has been handled) might have anything to do with race, because doing so would imply we might still have race issues in the United States, and then they'd have to change.

You'd have thought electing a black president would have quieted those people!

~*~

Speaking of race/prejudice, and the desire to sweep it under the rug, let me share a story with you. Well, actually THREE stories ... all that occurred within the last SIX days. They exhibit the very behaviors/attitudes that I believe led up to Trayvon's murder.

1.  I read this on my tumblr dash after posting a link to an article titled Trayvon Martin, And When A Black Man Deserves To Die, written by Bomani Jones:

a somewhat response to the Trayvon blog…
... My mom always told me, if you dont want to be treated like a bum, dont look like one. Like it or not, Perception is reality to most people. Im not saying people should stop dressing a certain way or acting a certain way, but if you do, be prepared for how you will be treated by others. If your cool with that then have at it, but dont then turn around and complain about how you were treated because of how you looked, YOU made that choice. Before everyone jumps down my throat with all the myriad of rape scenarios, I dont not believe a woman wearing a short skirt is asking to be raped.

Soooo ... a woman wearing a short skirt is not asking to be raped, but an unarmed, black teenager wearing a hoodie is asking to be killed? Got it! I mean, everyone knows it's not okay to blame the rape victim for the crime committed against her, but apparently society is still okay with blaming the murder victim for the crime committed against him.

AWESOME!

2.  Mike and I went to the laundromat Wednesday night. I know! Can you believe he actually does laundry with me? Anyway, while I was folding clothes - and Mike was across the way blowing his nose - a woman walked in. She was quite chit-chatty with me (Why do people always think I want to talk to them??) as she put her clothes in the drier. Once she got the drier going, she went back out to her car to wait.

Ten minutes later, the clothes were folded and Mike started taking them out to the car ... which just happened to be parked right next to Chatty Cathy. When he headed in the direction of of Chatty Cathy's car, she quickly locked her car doors and rested her elbow on the driver's door window ledge in order to shield her view from the ABMM (Angry Black Man Mike).

3.  Yesterday, I got a call from the school regarding Cam. He had been suspended (again). This time due to his (WAY out of line) response to a teacher (white female) who accused him of "throwing gang signs" who wrote him up and sent him to the Dean's office. Cam insisted he was doing nothing more than showing a classmate the sign language alphabet after that same classmate had asked him if he knew it.

Far fetched? What if I told you the classmate corroborated Cam's story?

Still far fetched?

What if I told you the teacher rescinded her first write up (after learning of the classmates corroboration) and changed her story to "Cam was signing the alphabet with a classmate, and at the completion of the alphabet threw a gang sign"??

I kid you not.

One has to wonder if the same assumptions would have been made had a white, female, AP student been signing the alphabet to a classmate.

Then again, Cam was wearing a hoodie. Good thing his hood was not on his head or he might have been shot instead of suspended.

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Friday Wrap Up

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I haven't been so happy to see a Friday in a L-O-N-G time. Why? Because this week was spring break, and a 16-year old man-child with nothing constructive to do for 9 consecutive days is a disaster waiting to happen.

Just ask the mother of "tuck-n-roll Matt". You remember, don't you? The kid I had to take to the ER a few weeks ago after he decided it would be a good idea to jump out of my car - while it was moving - because he didn't want to go home? Yeah ... this week he decided going to a party and drinking excessively (as in he was a babbling idiot) was a good idea because even though I told him he couldn't spend the night during spring break, I would certainly change my mind because calling his mother to pick up his drunk ass would be akin to throwing him under a bus!

I called his mother to pick up his drunk ass.

And if you are curious? Cam did not drink, but that doesn't imply he was an angel.

~*~

I had my first (and second) designer cupcake last night. What? You think we have a designer cupcake bakery in Podunk?

Mike brought these down from a shop in Milwaukee.

My first foodgasm was induced by one of those pink jobbers on the center left - Strawberry Champagne. My second (I'm so glad foodgasms come in multiples) was the result of my palate being fondled by a Vanilla Bean cupcake (top right).

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Last week, I was reminded once again, of my propensity to cause a ruckus when working with a team of women. See, I don't do the touchy-feely thing well, and generally? Women prefer opinions to be presented in a roundabout, less direct manner.

With a little dash of passive-aggressive.

And a heaping cup of understanding and praise.

Hell! Cam doesn't even get that!

Oops!

~*~

Hey! If you're not doing anything Sunday (and it's not Easter, so don't pretend you are going to church), Mike and I will be hanging out with Jay and Matt on I'm With Stupid at noon eastern time on their show - appropriately titled - Rock the Cradle of Love:

What's it like to be in a relationship with someone many years older or younger? Well, this week Jayman and Matt-Man are going to discuss these May-December loves with our good friends Dana and Mike. They can tell us what it's like to be the Cougar and the Cub and all the ups and downs of being involved with someone from a different generation. So join us as we analyze this phenomenon and even call in with your questions and comments.

This should be fun ...

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Friday Wrap Up

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Remember these? 

The little bits of the week that don't quite make up a blog post?

The weekly reflection of posts, comments and life in general?

Funny how rooted in tradition a blog can become. What? It's me who is rooted in tradition? You're kidding, right? I can be spontaneous ... or at least I can use spontaneous in a sentence!

***

In addition to leaving tumblr (with the door open) I've started spending a little more time on facebook (it's the only way I can play Bejeweled Blitz). As more and more of my family drinks the facebook Kool-Aid, it's also an efficient way to keep up with them ... and let them keep up with me.

The down side? Sometimes my dad talks about visiting porn sites on my facebook wall *rolls eyes*

***

Back to blogging just one week and I managed to pick up where I left off - irritating people who don't want to be publicly accountable, but do want to spew their vile rhetoric in a public forum.

My name is Dana and I am a troll.

I'm not the ugly kind of troll who hides under a bridge and leaves nasty comments anonymously, or the kind that writes comments and then deletes them so that the public can't see them but the writer can, or even the kind of troll who writes passive-aggressive posts in response to someone else's post never mentioning the person so that they can always claim they didn't say it.

Nope! I'm the kind of troll who will post a controversial opinion just to get people stirred up. The kind of troll who will call you on your shit in front of everyone without asking for your permission. Think of me as a Shrek troll. Shuddup! I know Shrek is an ogre, not a troll, but if he were a troll he would be just like me!

And you know what?

I'm good with that!

***

I need to do a Cam update (who is now officially old enough to drive and eligible to get his driver's license in June), a Voldemort update (my new nickname for "husband" because I know how much people love it when bloggers use aliases), and a "My-Favorite-Stalker" update (no, not you Kimmeh ... nor your buddy Denis).

Next week!

I promise!

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Friday Wrap-Up

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There have been some significant policy changes at work that have impacted my ability to stay connected during the day - specifically a new "Electronic Media Use Policy" or, "Don't you dare log on to the internet or pick up your cell phone between the hours of 8:30AM and 5:00PM."

The official policy reads, in part:

Company computer systems, e-mail, internet connections, etc. are to be used for Company business only. Personal cell phones must be turned off or silenced during working hours, unless used for business purposes. Personal cell phone calls and/or text messaging is prohibited during work hours. Exception: Employees may have reasonable personal use of e-mail, internet connections and personal cell phone during non-business hours (i.e. lunch hour).

Violation of this policy may result in revocation of internet access and/or immediate termination.

I get employer concerns regarding productivity, but ... ummm ... yeah ...

~*~

Speaking of work, performance reviews were given this week. To say mine was mediocre would be an overstatement, and I deserved the less than wonderful rating.

What I find bothersome is that the area I took a (deserved) BIG hit in has been at the same level for three years, but suddenly became an issue this year. It would have been nice had it been addressed during my first (or even second) year of employment here as it really is a critical job function.

More on this debacle next week. It is post-worthy.

~*~

I've been going to the gym for 4 weeks now. Although my weight loss has been minimal in those 4 weeks (just short of 6 lbs total) I have seen a positive impact in other areas. I seem to have quite a bit more energy, I feel better about myself because I'm doing something to improve what I don't like, and I've seen noticeable improvement in my "bum knee" pain and discomfort.

I also took the plunge and signed up for 8-Week Lose Weight Challenge that begins March 1st. They are awarding prizes for the highest percentage of weight lost both at my local gym and nationally. I've set a (stretch) goal of losing 10% of my body weight over the course of the 8 week competition.

This is when my competitive nature can actually have a positive outcome.

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Guess what I'm doing at lunch today?? No! Guess!! What? You don't like this game? Fine ...

I'm getting a manicure ... again ...

I've decided that this is "luxury" I am going to indulge in every other week. After all, my hands are, in my oh-so-humble opinion, one of my best features. It's an expense that is fairly easy to squeeze into my budget and it makes me feel special ... and I'm slowly getting used to allowing myself to feel special.

Oh! Are any of you familiar with the Shellac™ Manicure? I have to tell you that I am beyond impressed with this polish system. Not only is it completely dry when you walk out of the salon (with ZERO dry time), but it is by far the longest lasting manicure I've ever had. Today marks two weeks from my last manicure and my nail polish looks as flawless as it did on day one.

Pretty cool!

So ... what do y'all do to make yourselves feel special on occasion? Anyone have any inexpensive yet satisfying ideas (don't go there)??

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Friday Wrap-Up (Saturday Edition)

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It's been a while since I wrote one of these, probably because I have far too many loose ends these days. It feels like nothing is wrapped up which, in my world, equates to feelings of chaos.

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The DCFS interview went ... well? I don't know how those things are supposed to go. I was interviewed over the phone - Cam was interviewed on the same day at school. Questions to me included things like, "Do you support Cam's use of drugs by buying them for him or supplying money to him so that he can buy them?", "Do you have a criminal record?" (at which point I was required to give my SSN so that they could run a criminal records check), and my favorite, "Do you understand that if we find the allegations of child endangerment to be founded, we will remove your son from the home?"

If you read this Sunday Secret, you know how I responded.

I have yet to receive the final determination from DCFS - they informed me that they have up to six weeks to provide their results from the investigation. We shall see.

~*~

I'm trying to take a little better care of myself these days. I'm going to the gym almost daily and, occasionally, spending a little time and $$ on myself (last week's mani/pedi was a start).

Yet there is one thing on my To-Do List that would go a long way in taking care of myself that I continue to procrastinate ... routine medical and dental visits. I'm starting to consider that my "downness" may originate from an un-addressed medical issue ... which concerns me ... and makes it difficult to make the call.

Bottom line? I'm afraid I'll find out that the way I feel will either be diagnosed as crazy ... or worse yet ... normal.

I think I'd rather find out I'm crazy.

~*~

I want to take a minute to acknowledge the amazing generosity of two of my readers (you know who you are). Both, after reading my Big Fat Ugly Cow post, took it upon themselves to help me, take care of me. They each sent a care package containing things I think they both knew I would never buy myself. One included a letter - a letter I read regularly for inspiration and support.

I was taken aback by the heartfelt generosity of them both, as well as that of each of you who left comments on that post.

~*~

I think it's time for peanut butter toast! Have a great weekend buckaroos!

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Friday Wrap-Up (Saturday Edition)

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Well, after much anxiety and stress, the year-end bonus checks arrived! I was expecting a significant decrease in the amount - the economy has hit my industry pretty hard (we manufacture products primarily used in new construction) - but was pleasantly surprised. Although there was a decrease in the bonus, I couldn't get past being abundantly grateful that we received one at all.

The best part? Anyone who was reading me last year knows that Cam and I were on the receiving end of AMAZING generosity. This year? We are able to pay that forward. Isn't that what Christmas is really about?? I mean other than the baby Jesus and all ...

~*~

I'll be working diligently on my Project 365 blog this weekend. I've got about 300 pictures to download - 10 of which will find a home on the blog. Although I've really enjoyed this project, I am ready to move on ... to something far less time consuming.

I really miss HNT, and surprisingly, not for the nekkidness! Good self portraits are really difficult to take, especially if you want them to evoke feelings from the person looking at them.

Reviewing my Dana Does Digital photos, it became quite clear that I am far more comfortable taking pictures of things than people, and although things can and do arouse feelings, portrait photography takes that to a new level.

Time to work on the things that are more difficult for me rather than allowing myself to get too comfortable.

~*~

You might notice I've added a new button on the sidebar. This one to be exact:

There are a couple of reasons for that. First and foremost, it's a project I strongly believe in. I see writing as free therapy - as a way to connect with others when what you feel is stifling loneliness. Band Back Together - the brain child of Mommy Wants Vodka's Aunt Becky - is a safe place to write and connect with other people.

I am far more of a behind the scenes person that a lead role person. I like knowing that I was part of the nuts and bolts that enabled a presentation to sparkle. In other words, I don't mind getting covered in glitter, I just don't want to step on the stage sparkling.

Aunt Becky asked if I would be interested in helping out with the editing of Band Back Together. Not only was I extremely flattered that she believed I had the skill set to successfully edit, but hell to the yes! This is right up my alley.

I edited my first post just a few days ago and plan on being an integral part of Band Back Together's continued success.

~*~

Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability,
but comes through continuous struggle.
And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom.
A man can't ride you unless your back is bent.
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Friday Wrap-Up

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Wow! I cannot remember the last time I posted only three times in a week. Now I realize some of you might think that is still too often ... ehhhh ...

Work continues to kick my ass. The auditors are ... well ... auditors. They ask for silly things, requiring I spend hours at the copy machine and then double that time at the file cabinet putting everything back in order. Any free time I have is spent doing my "regular" job.

The upside? I've managed a few hours of overtime the last two weeks - something that seldom happens. It's kind of nice right before Christmas.

~*~

My employer has - historically (i.e. every year for the past 50+ years) - given a year-end bonus to every single employee the first full week of December. This year? It didn't happen, or hasn't yet anyway.

Rumor has it the bonuses are still going to be paid out, but with the economy being what it is, I don't bank on rumors ... or do any Christmas shopping on rumors. Let's just say I may be asking Jay and Matt to do a radiothon for Cam should the bonus rumor turn out to be false.

I think, more than anything, it's the absence of information trickling down that is the most frustrating. I know there is a group of people who know exactly how this is going to be handled, but they are - for whatever reason - keeping that information to themselves. Assholes ...

~*~

On the agenda for the weekend? Are you sure y'all can handle my exciting life? I'm telling you this is some really big stuff! While some bloggers are heading to Las Vegas for the weekend *cough*AuntBecky*cough* I'll be ...

1. Picking up my geeky-chic glasses. That's right! I decided to embrace my inner geek and display it on my face. Or something like that. My glasses have been ready for pick up for a week, but it requires I travel to a MALL. AACCKKK!
   
2. Doing laundry - lots and lots of laundry. The rule in my house is that I do not pick up clothes. I wash whatever is in the laundry basket. There has been nothing in Cam's laundry basket for three weeks now, and trust me, he doesn't have that many clothes. Something tells me this will be the week he realizes his clothes are now standing on their own on his bedroom floor.
   
3. Shopping for the Secret Santa gift exchange at work. The accounting and IT departments get together every holiday season for a luncheon and Secret Santa gift exchange (can you say wild and crazy party animals?). We exchange names, and a list of three items - each under $20. We then buy one item off the list of the employee whose name we draw. I got an easy one this year that requires I shop a Starbucks. I like that!
4. Writing out Christmas cards. That's right, this year I will be sending out a limited number of Christmas cards decorated by the students at Cam's therapeutic day school. I haven't seen them yet, but I have no doubt they'll be beautiful! If you'd like one adorning your holiday display, DM me on twitter or email me (dana.luann@gmail.com) your mailing address.
   

Have a great weekend ruffians!

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Friday Wrap-Up

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Ahhhh ... Friday! My weekend will officially start at about 6:00PM, when I will drop off Cam at the church for a weekend high school ministries fall retreat. He has been in rare form these past few weeks, likely due to frustrations with his lack of progress in school (that topic deserves a post of its own) coupled with the lunar cycle (anyone who believes lunar cycles have no affect on behavior is CRAZY).

We both need the break, and since I cannot leave him for the weekend (there are times when I've considered it), I am grateful he is leaving me. Hopefully, when I pick him up Sunday afternoon, we'll both have better attitudes.

~*~

I had an interesting conversation with my hair stylist (Gina) last night as she was cutting Cam's hair. Seems my landlord (who also happens to have a beauty shop in Podunk) came in to talk to her about Cam. One of my neighbors (the complex is small - only 4 other rented units other than mine) called her with concerns about Cam. He "scares" them and they are "afraid" of him.

My landlord knows that Gina and I are fairly good friends, so she took it upon herself to visit Gina's salon (with several customers there) and began quizzing Gina about Cam. Is he a "good" kid? Has he ever been in trouble? Is he a bully? Do the tenants have reason to be afraid of him? Would Gina allow Cam in her house with her kids? Is Gina afraid of Cam?

When Gina explained that Cam was a typical teen - a kid who can occasionally get lippy but is generally a "good" kid - she also asked the landlord if something specific had happened with Cam that caused concern. That's when the landlord told her that a tenant in the building has come to her telling her Cam "scares" them and they are "afraid" of him.

I'm fairly certain I know EXACTLY where the problem is. Of the remaining four tenants in the building, one of them regularly pays Cam to take her groceries from her car to her upstairs apartment, one is a late 20's kid who has let me use his GPS and often stops to chat with Cam and me, and one is a "typical," single cat lady (5 cats and 2 dogs in a 2-bedroom apartment) who has asked Cam to walk her dogs when her bunions are acting up.

That leaves the gun rack in the back window, pick-up truck driving, NRA bumper stickers holding the right rear corner panel together, late 50's gentleman and his wife who live directly upstairs from me but have NEVER spoken to me.

Hey! If they are going to make assumptions, it's only fair that I get to too!

And guess what? Unless they have specific issues regarding things that have actually happened, rather than a case of their ignorant imaginations running wild, they can kiss my big white ass.

~*~

Thanksgiving is fast approaching and I am PMS-ing ... which isn't a good combination. See? I don't get bitchy (usually) during hell week, I get extremely sappy and emotionally sensitive. Of course, that can only lead to a big ol' pity party.

I've been whiny, needy and generally irritating on twitter these past couple of days - so much so that it actually drives me bonkers to read my own time line.

I have much to be thankful for, yet my focus has been on what I'm lacking - what I wish I had - this holiday season. What's odd is this isn't about material needs/wants, it's about emotional needs/wants.

Menopause can't come fast enough. Then I can just be bitchy and unreasonable ALL of the time and blame it on hormonal fluctuations.

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Friday Wrap-Up

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There were a lot of comments on Let's Play Pretend post that indicated y'all thought I was talking about my own blog when I said, "gotta love StatCounter and Blogger Stats for 'proof' that you have a 'stalker' - which these days seems to be defined as someone visiting your blog that you wish wouldn't." I wasn't ...

I hate Stat Counters ... hate, hate, HATE them ... so much so that I get a little crazy when people start talking about stats. To me, it always sounds like "Neener, neener, neener - I am more popular than you are - and I know who you are and how long you read my blog." Yes, that would be my personal insecurities rearing their ugly heads. *shudders*

I look at my stats to see if there is unusual activity, like far too many visits, or folks coming from some other blog that I've never heard of. With the exception of one of my blog readers, I have no idea who stops by unless they leave a comment.

The reference to Stat Counters was specific to the situation I was discussing in that post - not my own blog.

~*~

Thanks for all of the support on the Invisible Ink post. It was clear many of you thought I was being too hard on myself.

I will admit to setting lofty goals - to having extremely high expectations for myself (but oddly, not others) - and to getting down on myself when I don't meet those expectations.

I struggle - a lot - with goal setting - what's reasonable - what's setting myself up for failure. I don't want to let myself just "get by" because *I* can do better than just getting by.

Ehhh ... one of these days I'll get it right.

~*~

Speaking of getting it right, this week I did something I've never done before - I altered a post based on reader feedback (and yes, that is cryptic and will stay cryptic).

My first reaction (kept silenced with a forcible tongue biting) was "Fuck you! It's my blog I'll do what I want," but I took my own advice and looked at things from the reader perspective.

This wasn't a threatening "you better do this" request from a reader, but rather a "this is how I feel" discussion. I decided to come up with a compromise that I felt maintained my integrity, yet addressed their concerns.

I had every right to dig in my heels and scoff the reader's feelings - it is my blog - but in this case, that really wasn't the "right" thing to do.

It felt good - hopefully for both of us.

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Friday Wrap-Up (Late Edition)

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It's been another fun and exciting work week. In addition to month-end tasks I learned that we will be having not one, but TWO audits this year. The first one in December for fiscal year 2009 (Can you think of any better way to say, "Happy Holidays!"?) and the second in March for fiscal year 2010.

The March audit? We'll be damn lucky if we are actually DONE with 2010 when the auditors show up. This should be about as much fun as a root canal without Novocain.

~*~

Podunk's liquor store is a fun place to visit. The owner stocks a great selection of "standard" beers, specialty beers (i.e. micro brews, imports, you know - "snobby beer") and a reasonable selection of hard liquor.

I went in last night to pick up my Vanilla Smirnoff (on sale for $11.99/750 ml) and walked out with one of these ...


... and a 4-pack of this ...


It wasn't my fault ... really! See, at the Podunk liquor store they lure you with samples of liquor. The owner insisted I try the Tres Leches (who keeps plastic shot glasses at the cash register anyway?) and then he had the audacity to have a 4-pack of the Leinenkugel's Big Eddy Russian Imperial Stout sitting right there at the check out counter.

I mean, seriously?? Who does that sort of product placement in a liquor store where functioning alcoholics frequent??

~*~

Once in a while I stumble upon a blog that I find fascinating and want to share. I am really enjoying The Unseen City - what the author describes as:

... a chronicle of my journeys on foot through the lesser-traveled wards of Chicago, where I currently live, and, from time to time, of New York and Los Angeles. Partly, it’s about nostalgia: for a postwar streetscape of corner taverns, neon signs, cigar shops, and the like. But mostly it’s about seeking moments of beauty, pathos, and humor in the everyday life of overlooked neighborhoods—blocks that have resisted change and retained a connection with their past. In short, it is the story of everything I love about city life.

I'm not sure if it is the stories he tells, the photos he takes, or just the change in scenery that captivates me most, but I am really enjoying stopping by his place and reading about places like this:

~*~

I'm taking Cam and one of his fellow band geeks to see this group - Project Trio - perform Saturday night. Don't be fooled by the beginning of this video ... the style changes drastically.

Although I'm really looking forward to the concert, I am really excited that Cam is exited about going!

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Friday Wrap-Up (Brief Edition)

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• I never thought I'd say this, but I am looking forward to my co-worker Norm returning to work on Monday. OK, maybe that's not entirely true, but I am looking forward to having only my job responsibilities come Monday.

• My incompetent Arizona bookkeeper slipped up big time this week. In an attempt to prove she had done something that she didn't do, she "manufactured" an email. She may have gotten away with it, except when she edited the date in the forwarded email, she neglected to change the day. Her email "proof" she claimed was sent on Monday, October 25th said it was sent on WEDNESDAY, October 25th. And yes, she still has a job.

• Snugs stopped by and left a comment on my Fears post that asked, "Wouldn't it be really funny if your husband has his own blog and does all sorts of posts about you?? He could call it, 'The other side of the crises'." Although her comment was off topic (again) and dripping in snark, I'd love it if he had a blog with posts about me. Communication was always a challenge in our relationship and I think understanding how he sees things would be extremely valuable. Probably not the response snugs was hoping to poke out of me.

• Halloween. ICK! I hate it. I hate all of the dressing up, mask wearing, face painting, scare the shit out of you "fun". This has very little to do with the actual "holiday" and far more to do with my quirks. I'm trying to decide if I should buy candy or just close the curtains and turn off the porch light. I'm leaning towards the latter.
  

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Friday Wrap-Up (GAHHHH! Edition)

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... and ... it's Friday! WooHoo!!

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My cubical mate Norm, most famous for his "Good morning [insert name], and how are you on this wonderful [current season] day?" - spoken to every coworker each and every day - is on vacation for two weeks. He and his "sweetie" are on a 2-week cruise to ... oh hell ... I don't remember where they went even though he's been telling me of their plans - multiple times a day - for about 6 months (no exaggeration).

Anyway, it's been nice and quite in the accounting department. I didn't realize just how LOUD he is until I experienced how quiet it is without him in the office. The only down side is that I've had to pick up his work load in his absence.

Crunching numbers, although it sounds like you'd do it with a 50 pound sledge hammer, is rarely physical, however it is mentally exhausting. I am just worn out this week and as such, the blog has been quiet.

One more week of quiet and overwhelming mental exhaustion and life as I know it will be back to NORM-al.

~*~

I'm attending a Treatment Strategies for Children and Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum conference at Northern Illinois University all day Saturday. It is being presented by Tim Wahlberg, Ph.D who has published extensively on the subjects of autism and neurological impairments.

The conference will be focusing on strategies and interventions for behavior, social skill development, problem solving and improving flexibility - all issues Cam struggles with.

What?? You think I might benefit from behavior strategies as well?? I would have to agree with you on that.

The only down side? Attending the conference requires I get up at 6AM on Saturday morning, and the on the road by 7AM.

That means early to bed Friday night.

~*~

Sunday night I'm working with the logistics team at church for a high school student ministries event ... because I don't get enough of the crazies on Wednesday nights.

Actually, I need to find a way to bow out of this weekly obligation gracefully. Although I enjoy being there for the kids (you'd be amazed to learn how many upper-middle class, suburban parents "discard" their kids at church Wednesday nights) I'm struggling with the organized religion side of things.

I could always "accidentally" leave my blog up on one of the computers we use for checking in the kids. That would probably do the trick!

~*~

My friend Gina posted her own 1 in 4 story today. Go over there and read it. Really! I'll wait ...

Are you back? I continue to be amazed at how similar the domestic violence stories are. Names change. Places change. The story stays the same.

I'm glad she decided to share her story!

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Friday Wrap-Up

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WooHoo?? It's October?? How the hell did that happen?

Rough couple of weeks coming up at work. Quarter end and my butt is on the line. I've got a HUGE project that I've put off for ... ummm ... 9 months? Now it's crunch time. I've procrastinated myself into a corner - something I do well.

Ehhh ... it's OK. I work better under pressure. Yep! That's my story!

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Got a couple of posts in the hopper. Looks like next week will be "Piss off your Readers" week at Amid Life's Crises. I still have a few days with no posting ideas.

Anyone feeling the need to be a martyr should email me!

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Keep your fingers crossed, it looks like Cam is moving up a "sheet level" at school beginning next week.

I've mentioned before that the Therapeutic Day School (TDS) works on a point system. Points are earned for desirable performance (they never take away points - students start at 0 each day).

There are 3 sheet levels - white,yellow and blue. White is the lowest sheet level and indicates you receive no additional privileges. Privileges at the TDS are things like being able to walk from class to class unsupervised, being able to go to the restroom without an escort, and pizza for lunch on Fridays.

Yes, the TDS is extremely structured. It's quite similar to boot camp. Activities students take for granted (being able to walk to class unsupervised) are snagged away and have to be earned back. It's no joke.

I almost hate to type this, but I think Cam is finally settling in a bit - finding his place - understanding that his bad behavior will not be rewarded at the TDS (for Cam, being sent to the office, was a reward) - and moving in the right direction.

Sometimes progress comes in small doses, but should be celebrated none-the-less.

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I had planned on doing the Take the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP - formerly food stamps) Hunger challenge next week, but it is going to have to wait. Quite frankly, trying to feed Cam and I three meals a day for $9 per day is going to require some planning - some planning I haven't yet made a priority.

I'll get there though.

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If you don't have Surviving the World in your reader, what the hell is wrong with you?? I absolutely adore this guy and his thinking process.

One of his "comics" this week made me think of Matt-Man and ... well ... I couldn't ignore the fact that I have been accused of being AWESMUG as well ...

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Friday Wrap-Up (Loose Ends Edition)

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I missed my blogiversary! How the hell does that happen?? I mean, people pay attention to hose things (*NOTE* I'm leaving this typo here to irritate the shit out of Mike who enjoys sending me emails pointing out my spelling/grammatical errors. If I "wrote" like he does (pictures and links only) I suppose I'd make fewer errors) - making sure everyone knows how long they've been blogging and how many posts they've put out there - having contests to pad their reader numbers.

Me? Fuck! I just let it slide without even a mention ... until now ...

Since September 12th, 2007 (THREE YEARS), I've manged to put up 893 posts. That's a lot of driveling bullshit ... with a few HNT's thrown in!

There will be a blogiversary give-a-way, but this time I'm going to secure the goodies before having the drawing, 'cause we all remember what happened last year!

If your curious, [THIS] is where it all started.

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The apartment?? Ahhhh ... when is anything ever easy?

I got my hair cut Friday during lunch. The plan was to turn in my apartment application after my hair cut.

Of course, I've got to talk to my stylist about the new place (I knew she'd have the dirt on the landlord) and she says, "You know, my dad has a condo in town that's been up for sale for quite some time. It's vacant and he might be willing to rent it out, rent with option to buy, or even offer owner financing on it. I could show it to you Sunday."

Ummm ... yes please!




It's PERFECT, and almost identical to the townhome I sold in Minnesota when Cam and I moved out here ... right down to the deck and the 2-car garage.

Of course, I then have to go to the local dive bar in Podunk to talk to my Stylist's dad about it because ... well, he owns the dive bar too and it's the most likely place to find him.

I tell him about my interest, and he tells me what he wants. We weren't exactly on the same sheet of music, but we were at least playing the same song.

There are a couple of problems (reasonable financing, availability to rent, realtor contract, etc.), but those will go away in about 5 months. I've decided to wait it out in the Podunk ghetto for the time being and see where we stand in 5 months.

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I've neglected to publicly thank all of you who offered your prayers, thoughts and donations for Boo and her family. This is, in part, because I wanted to be able to give you an update. Now I can ... actually, Boo can.

Boo put together an amazing post detailing her Nightmare. You can read it [HERE]

She's also back to "regular" blogging, and although some of you might think that odd - that grief doesn't allow for trivial things like blogging - I will flat out tell you that you are wrong ... and she is proof!

You can read Boo's most recent blog entry [HERE]

Words cannot express the outpouring of love and support I felt from all of you. I tend to be a bit cynical on the internet - far more cautious than I might be in real life - and was so grateful that so many of you were not! In doing something for Boo, I was given a gift myself.

Y'all really are amazing!

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Friday Wrap-Up

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Hell of a week this week. I seem to be having a difficult time getting back into the swing of Cam's schedule and its impact on my drinking schedule. It's not like I don't have enough time to do things, I just don't feel like doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done. I'm craving flexibility and spontaneity.

Yeah, I said that! Something is terribly perverted in the universe ...

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Cam had a "Come to Jeebus" moment at school this week. When confronted with overwhelming emotions he did what he does best - attempted to bail. Unfortunately, school policy doesn't allow for escape so he went with his secondary coping mechanism - full on football mode.

When staff attempted to block him from leaving the building, he decided to see if his linebacker skills were in proper working order. Lacking a nose guard or tackle to help him out, 5 staff members took him down ... to the floor.

He was banged up pretty bad. I was devastated when I got the call from the school. And then I was reminded of why I pushed so hard for this placement.

Yes, there were consequences, but the biggest concern was why did his happen. What skills can we teach Cam that will help him cope with the sensory overload. It was a defining moment.

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I'm putting in an application for a new (to me) apartment today. It's a 2-bedroom, similar in size to what Cam and I are in now, but is in a triplex (fewer neighbors), has a garage (I don't) and has a washer dryer hookup in the basement (no more Sunday morning trips to the laundromat)! Best part about it? It's $25 a month less than what I'm paying now.

Cam is not happy. Change is bad. Moving is really bad.

Did I mention this apartment is 4 blocks away from where we are now?

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Are you feeling guilty for a year of sin? Have a craving for a bagel with cream cheese and lox? Tune in to I'm With Stupid Sunday morning, 11:00 AM EDT on Blog Talk Radio. Jay and Matt will be dishing up a little atonement with a side order of ridicule.

You might even hear a live Sunday Secret ... maybe.

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Friday Wrap-Up (Saturday Edition)

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It is always a busy time in accounting land at the end/beginning of the month, but this week felt like year end.

In addition to my "normal" chaos, there was a significant issue with my cash book account balancing to my cash general ledger account (for you non-accounting folks, this is similar to when your checkbook doesn't match what the bank says you have in your account) ... to the tune of about $1M.

Wednesday morning, the CFO and controller called me into a meeting to address the situation. With a computer linked to a big screen, and a white board the size of a semi truck, we dove in.

Now understand, I thought this was my fault, and I had let it go far too long (since the beginning of the year). I kept thinking I was fixing it and yet the discrepancy kept getting bigger and bigger. I prepared myself for the ass-chewing I knew I deserved. It was bad enough that I clearly had no idea what I was doing, but to neglect the issue for EIGHT MONTHS was quite irresponsible.

Come to find out, I was doing the right things. The controller - in an attempt to circumnavigate an ongoing problem with my AZ bookkeeper - made a change to the way the general ledger accounts were mapped ... and neglected to tell anyone.

Seven hours (and no lunch or bathroom breaks) later, it became clear that each time I made an entry through cash book, the money was going into the wrong general ledger account.

Ummmm ... yeah ...

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Cam hates his new school ... I don't ...

I am confident that Cam is getting fair and equal treatment this year - that his perception of everyone picking on him is skewed. I continue to reinforce that he is responsible for his actions and his length of stay at the therapeutic day school. He can either cooperate, do what is needed, and move on, or he can dig in his heels and make his life extremely difficult (his current M.O.).

What is different this year is that the school and I are on the same page. They are trying to get him out of his therapeutic day school placement, but in this case, that action means Cam is being successful - not that he is failing - and that is a good thing.

I have no doubt we are in for a rough ride, but I have vowed to give myself credit for doing the right things (offering a place to study, help with homework, etc.) and allowing Cam the choice (and consequences) to succeed or fail.

I've got four years to help him make a positive difference in his life.

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If you're not too hung-over, repenting your sins at church too busy on Sunday morning (11:00 AM EDT), tune in to Show #2 of "I'm With Stupid" - Jayman and Matt-Man's escapade into the world of Blog Talk Radio.

You never know what you might get ... sometimes there is even a live stream. Noooo ... not via webcam, but via Matt-Man's bathroom visits!

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Friday Wrap-Up

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I had several people contact me regarding the blogger mentioned in yesterday's HNT - offering to help with anything the family might need. I was extremely touched by that kindness and will keep all of you informed should there be any future needs.

Fortunately, it sounds like their immediate physical needs have been taken care of. My goal is to insure their long-term emotional needs are taken care of.

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A strange thing happened at work yesterday afternoon. The payroll administrator (i.e. the receptionist who got one hell of a promotion) and the HR Director (i.e. the only person the company could find willing to work in Podunk who speaks fluent Spanish and English) called me into the HR office. Why yes, it was an "Oh Shit!" moment.

As it turns out, they were having a difference of opinion and wanted to ask me a couple of questions regarding policy changes my employer is considering.

Would I mind having my lunch reduced from 60 minutes to 30 minutes? Ummm ... hello?? You're going to take 30 minutes of paid time away from me and you are wondering if that would be an issue?? Hell yes it would be an issue!

The second question requires a little explanation. My pay designator is Salaried Non-Exempt. It's a really strange pay category - one not used many places. What it means is that if I work 37.5 - 40 hours I receive 40 hours of pay. If I work more than 40 hours, I am still eligible for overtime. In other words, it's a glorified hourly position.

The HR Director asks me if I would mind having to work 40 hours/week, rather than the 37.5 hours/week currently required. My question? Are you going to adjust my pay to compensate for those 2.5 hours per week? Well, no.

Now I realize HR Director isn't a numbers guy, so I explain to him that adding those 2.5 hours/week to my work schedule, with no additional pay, results in a 6.3% pay DECREASE - that I would be making less money than when I was first hired 2-1/2 years ago. Yes ... yes I would mind.

I am amazed at how completely out of touch the HR Director is with employees. He's either an idiot, or believes we are idiots who wouldn't realize we were getting a massage without the happy ending.

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I woke up this morning to the freezer door WIDE OPEN. I'm not sure what happened, but since there was a bag of broccoli cheese soup on the floor, I'm pretty sure there was a whacked-out, orange and white cat named Scooter involved.

Unfortunately, it had been open for quite some time. Everything inside had thawed and was semi warm including 2 lbs of hamburger, 2 lbs of pork chops and a 5 lb bag of chicken breasts. I considered taking my chances on the meat but then figured the health care costs for treating E. coli would be much higher than the cost of replacing the meat.

Still ... it was tempting ... as I put everything in a big black trash bag I felt like I was throwing a $20 bill in a bonfire.

I'll be picking up a child proofing lock for the freezer sometime this weekend.

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No big plans this weekend which is kind of nice. As we get closer to the school year starting up again the routine begins to take shape.

That is a good thing!

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Friday Wrap-Up

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The visit to Cam's new school went well. He was somewhat engaged in the conversation (think typical teen) and actually seemed to enjoy the tour. I felt much better after seeing the school, talking to the staff and watching Cam show interest as we did our walk through and met his teachers.

I did talk to the vice principal about Cam's musical interests and asked if there are any options to help keep him active with music. She is contacting some of the community bands in the area to see if there is a place for Cam. *fingers crossed*

There were some other surprises too, like learning that there is a Therapeutic Day School Sports League - flag football, basketball and volleyball are all played in the league. The school provides all lunches and school supplies, which will help out tremendously from a financial standpoint.

I am feeling hopeful, and hopeful is good ... I think!

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I have to reschedule my tattoo appointment. Someone please tell me how in the hell I can schedule an appointment - 12 weeks in advance ('cause she's that busy) - then a month later find out I have a court date ON THE VERY SAME DAY.

I'm trying to convince myself this is just an odd coincidence and not some sign from the ink Gods that I should refrain from more body art.

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I don't understand some people (like that's a news flash). I've got a whole post planned on this topic for next week (thanks Mike) but really? Some times I think it's much better that I NOT understand them. I'm just a wee bit afraid of what understanding them means.

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Remember the Listen to the Mustn'ts post I did over at Lynn's place? If you didn't read that post, shame on you! That aside, I talked about submitting a photograph for juried review and (hopefully) public display. I heard back earlier in the week - my photo was selected for display!

I am thrilled, but now have kind of a secondary challenge - I need to print and frame the photo. Do any of you have suggestions on where to have this done ... on a budget? I've looked at a few photo printing sites and it seems I am going to have one problem - size. This is a SQUARE photo and yet it seems digital prints are in traditional photo sizes (4x6, 8x10, etc). Ideas anyone?

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Friday Wrap-Up

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So ... I've been a little lackadaisical with blog posting as of late, but something tells me none of you noticed because you've been a little lackadaisical with blog reading ... not that I'm BITTER or anything ... just concerned for your well being! No! Really!! OK, maybe not ...

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Cam has been home from camp for a whole week and he is now making plans to leave Saturday for another week. One of his friends' family is headed up to Michigan on Saturday and Cam was invited to tag along. The dad has OK'd the idea but we are waiting for mom to have her say.

*CONFIRMED* Cam will be heading to Michigan Saturday and will return on my birthday - I'm sure he planned that intentionally, don't you think??

Yes, today is Friday and they are leaving bright and early tomorrow morning. Nothing says procrastination quite like waiting until the last minute to confirm a week-long trip. Or is that considered spontaneity? Guess it depends on which side of the fence you are standing on.

Which blogger wants to be on my "hit list" this week? I need a road trip!

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I WON!! I seldom enter contests which means I don't often win anything *d'oh* but when I can enter by default (i.e. leaving a comment on a blog I read and comment on every day anyway) I don't win either. Guess I can't say that any more! Lynn, over at Real Live Lesbian, recently went to China and ran a random number generated comment contest for a prize package of Chinese goodies. In some cosmic freak of nature, out of all of her commentors, Jay and I were the two winners.

I was all aflutter when the box arrived last Saturday. I placed it on the kitchen storage cart and ... and ... I still haven't opened it! What is wrong with me?? (Don't go there, the list is LONG). Well, I want to vlog the opening of the box and share all of it's contents with you guys, but I haven't had any peace and quiet since Cam came home a chance to do that. Besides, I'm a HUGE fan of delayed gratification. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

If you are not as good as I am with self-deprivation, you can zip over [HERE] to see what Jay got!

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I kind-of-sort-of won something kind-of-sort-of related to my Project 365 blog this week too! Yesterday, I was wasting my employers time gossiping on Twitter hard at work when the following tweet popped up:


Those of you who are not science geeks and/or do not live in this area won't have a clue what Fermilab is. Even if you are a science geek, you are probably like me and still have very little idea what they actually do at Fermilab, but you might be familiar with the odd looking sculpture that welcomes their visitors. Here's the deal ... Fermilab = High-Energy Physics, the science of matter, space and time. How cool is that??

So I click on the Twitter link and read this:

Fermilab invites local photographers, both amateurs and professionals, to a 3-hour, behind-the-scenes Photowalk of the laboratory on Saturday, August 7, 2010. Photographers will be able to visit, explore and take photos of people, objects and locations in five research areas that are usually not accessible by the public. Advance registration is required.

The Fermilab Photowalk is part of the global Particle Physics Photowalk that takes place on this day at five particle physics laboratories in five countries. Participating laboratories are: CERN (Switzerland), DESY (Germany), Fermilab (USA), KEK (Japan) and TRIUMF (Canada).

I'm reading this and getting more excited than I did the last time I had sex! I *MUST* GO! Not because I think I'm all that in the photography world (contrary to popular belief, I am quite humble) but because they have the Large Hadron Collider - the most powerful particle accelerator in the world!

But only the first 50 who send an email will secure a spot? And this tweet was just retweeted by @ThinkGeek? I scurried over to the submission form and hit enter, hoping I might at least get high enough up on the waiting list that someone who was just trying to win, but didn't really want to go, would vacate their slot and I'd get a last minute call to come on out.

Then, late yesterday afternoon, I got the following email:

Dear Photographer,

Congratulations. You are among the first 50 people who signed up for the Fermilab Photowalk. Please arrive at the Fermilab site no later than 7:45 a.m. on Saturday, August 7, 2010, and tell the guard that you are participating in the Photowalk. Ask the guard for directions to Fermilab’s Wilson Hall. The registration will take place in the atrium of Wilson Hall (first floor).

I swear ... I had multiple orgasms just reading that! And yes, I *am* going to walk in with 49 other photographers who will likely be carrying HUGE photography equipment bags containing 18 different lenses. And what will I have?? My $149 Sony point-and-shoot camera in my pocket. And you know what? I'm going to take some phenomenal photos!

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Friday Wrap-Up (Evening Edition)

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Well, it's finally come to an end ... my week of freedom. I picked up Cam at 6:00PM today and headed home. He was here an entire HOUR before asking if I'd give him a ride to the ice skating rink. Why yes, there is an ice skating rink within 20 minutes of Podunk - in fact the ice skating rink is closer that the grocery store.

Anyway, don't tell anyone but I think Cam may have actually missed me a little bit. He talked to me more in the hour he was home than he has the entire past month. It's good to have him home, but I did enjoy my week!

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In addition to the Bagwine expedition, I also made a trip to the city to visit with Annie & Burl. As luck would have it, Kimmeh was there too! Annie & Burl live just 60 minutes away, but making the trip alone was an opportunity I couldn't pass up. I headed out there Wednesday, had some wonderful homemade Cashew Chicken, and actually sat in the studio while they were broadcasting their live show on Blog Talk Radio.

This is a stretch for me. As much as I put myself "out there" on this blog, I am really quite an introvert. I actually even talked during the show! If you are so inclined, you can listen to the show [HERE].

Honestly? It was a great time - not just the show, but having an opportunity to visit with the crew again!

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One of the things I discovered this week was that I really need to some how, some way, carve some time out on occasion to let loose. When you are living life, you sometimes lose sight of where your time and energies are focused. I needed this down time - time that I could do what I wanted to do knowing that Cam was in a safe, supervised place.

Trying to make this happen is going to be quite a challenge. Being a single parent, with no family anywhere near, and no real local "support network" in place, will make carving out time for myself difficult at best ... but it was much needed.

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I couldn't pick just one favorite picture from my Project 365 Blog (Dana Does Digital) this week. I had a sentimental favorite and a composition favorite. Can you guess which is which??

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