It's a Blogiversary!

It was 6 years (and a few days) ago that I wrote my first blog post in my little corner of the interwebs. It was appropriately titled, Virgin Blogging.

I know ... I know ... I was just as insightful then as I am now ...

A lot has happened in these 6 years:

• Cam successfully navigated public middle school, 18 months at a theraputic day school, and is now smack dab in the middle of his senior year of high school. He also went from looking like this

To looking like this ...

• I went from being in a beautiful .5-million dollar home and a terribly unhappy (and abusive) marriage, to walking away from it all for a 2-bedroom apartment in a very run-down complex and furnished with FreeCycle and the few things I was allowed to take.
• After 40+ years of learning just how unlovable I am, I met Mike who has shown me that I was lovable all along.
• I lost a prestigious job in my degree field and began working in accounting again. This was a job that I hoped would be a 2-year, temporary gig while Cam's educational needs were addressed, but has turned into a hell-hole that I find myself trapped in for at least another year or so (I'll be "celebrating" 6 years at this job in January).
• I got nekkid quite a few times, then became disillusioned when that tight knit community started to change
• I gained 117 lbs, and have lost 98 lbs (so far) after having bariatric surgery.
• Friends have come and gone. I did a volunteer stint with Band Back Together, then was somewhat ostracized by that community after writing about my experiences volunteering with them. I keep in touch with 3 of the 5 people who commented on my very first blog post via Facebook, and one of those people (Meg, from This Big Happy) is still blogging! The other two? Well, they are both still around, or so I hear, but neither of them want anything to do with me any longer.
• Where blogging used to be my primary outlet - and twitter soon followed - I now spend more time on tumblr and Facebook than I do on blogging and twitter
• I've had a bonafide (and reported) cyberbully and several trolls. I've also met some people who will likely be life-long friends, including Jayman, who was one of my very first REAL commenters (not a commenter from the Yahoo Group who originally dared me to start up a blog) and Matt-Man, whose friendship with me has been a bit ... shall we say ... rocky at times? Yeah, we'll go with that. 

It's pretty amazing when you think about it. My little corner of the interwebs populated with the stuff that life is made of. Overall? I'd say it's been a good run.

I often wonder what to do with this space - whether I'll continue to blog or just archive this all somewhere and move on. 

Right now? I plan on staying. I probably won't be earning any frequent-flyer miles for posting every day, but I've grown to love this place. As frustrating as life can be, going back and reading a history of what you've done in the last 6 years kind of puts it all in perspective and helps you realize that the big things aren't so big a year later.

Do any of you have a post of mine that you remember well, either because it made you happy, or because it pissed you off?

The WeLoveSchmoop Fund is Now Open!

Many of you know Schmoop ... in the internet defined "know".

She is the BFF/OSP of the one and only Matt-Man, and has recently been stuggling with some significant health issues.

Like turning yellow.


I first “met” Matt and Schmoop over 5 years ago when blogging was the only social  media platform … unless you were 12 and on MySpace. A few years later, I drove to “Bagwine” Ohio and spent a long (based on some of the shenanigans that took place, some would say too long) weekend with the two of them. They are real people. Real people who work hard and live a simple life.

In October, Schmoop did - indeed - turn yellow. Since that was not her normal color, she decided a trip to the ER might be in order.

That trip led to a battery of tests and then a transfer to another hospital where they drilled a hole through what they discovered was a blocked bile duct, and put a tube in to allow the bile to drain (a tube she wore proudly for 2 months). Last week, she went in for surgery to permanently remove the mass that was blocking the bile duct ... and anything else (pancreas, liver, stomach) that might have been impacted.

There was significant concern that cancer might be the culprit.

The good ... wait ... make that FABULOUS news is that her surgery went well and she was cancer free.

She is still in the hospital recovering.

Unfortunately, Schmoop has been unable to work during this time, and her unemployment benefits have been delayed by at least 8 weeks. She will not be able to start collecting unemployment until she is released from the hospital, and eventually cleared as "able to work" by her doctor.

Quite frankly, Matt and Schmoop are looking at the very real possibility of eviction.

Jay and I decided we needed to do something to help out these two great people, and the WeLoveSchmoop Fund was born.

We are asking for donations.

The idea is to try to help Schmoop recover the income she lost during this time that she has been denied unemployment benefits. So, with the help of Jay, here is a handy dandy little button that you can click on and make a donation to the WeLoveSchmoop Fund!

You don’t even need to have a PayPal acct. You can donate using your debit and credit cards. Just click the button and then put in the amount you want to donate (it’s up to you, no fixed amounts or minimums are set). Or, if you do have PayPal you can donate by sending the money to the official email of the WeLoveSchmoop Fund which is ….

WeLoveSchmoop@yahoo.com

It's a chance to help a great human being whom we all love so very much. The donate button will also be on the right sidebar here for the next few weeks. This isn’t an open-ended thing and we won’t badger you (much) to donate.

But, as Jay has so eloquently said, GIVE TIL IT HURTS PEOPLE!

Birthday's Are NOT Stupid

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I had a birthday last month.

Of course, I felt like I couldn't celebrate it here on the blog after Matt-Man wrote his scathing Birthdays Are Stupid post (the day before my birthday - CONSPIRACY) where he vowed to never celebrate another birthday of an adult ... anywhere ...

But now that my special day is over, and we're in a completely different month, I decided it was safe to blog about it. 

No! Really! That's why I haven't blogged in forever ... maybe ...

*smirk*

It's been a while since I've had anyone around who felt it was important to acknowledge that warm, July day in MCMLXIV. This year was a bit different.

Understand, I am not one who wants a grandiose celebration on my day. In fact, I don't even want to find myself in a restaurant where people might sing Happy Birthday to me.

But it does warm that cockle place in my heart when those who are close to me do a little something to remind me that I am important to them (because I easily forget).

That happened in a very special way this year.

When I awoke on the day of my birth (doesn't that sound impressive??), I did the same thing I do every morning - sat in my recliner and opened my laptop.

And I found this ...

A handwritten letter from Mike that jumped out at me as I opened the cover. 

It was PERFECT, and really, all that I wanted.

What made the day even better were the cards I got from Mike and Cam later in the day.

See? Mike did something for me that no one has ever done before - not only did he pick out a card for me, he picked out a card for Cam to give to me too.

And Cam?

He didn't just sign the card, he wrote a nice little note inside - thanking me for all of the things I do for him that he sometimes takes for granted.

It was the best birthday ever ... if adults were allowed to celebrate birthdays ...

~*~

Friday Wrap Up

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I haven't been so happy to see a Friday in a L-O-N-G time. Why? Because this week was spring break, and a 16-year old man-child with nothing constructive to do for 9 consecutive days is a disaster waiting to happen.

Just ask the mother of "tuck-n-roll Matt". You remember, don't you? The kid I had to take to the ER a few weeks ago after he decided it would be a good idea to jump out of my car - while it was moving - because he didn't want to go home? Yeah ... this week he decided going to a party and drinking excessively (as in he was a babbling idiot) was a good idea because even though I told him he couldn't spend the night during spring break, I would certainly change my mind because calling his mother to pick up his drunk ass would be akin to throwing him under a bus!

I called his mother to pick up his drunk ass.

And if you are curious? Cam did not drink, but that doesn't imply he was an angel.

~*~

I had my first (and second) designer cupcake last night. What? You think we have a designer cupcake bakery in Podunk?

Mike brought these down from a shop in Milwaukee.

My first foodgasm was induced by one of those pink jobbers on the center left - Strawberry Champagne. My second (I'm so glad foodgasms come in multiples) was the result of my palate being fondled by a Vanilla Bean cupcake (top right).

~*~

Last week, I was reminded once again, of my propensity to cause a ruckus when working with a team of women. See, I don't do the touchy-feely thing well, and generally? Women prefer opinions to be presented in a roundabout, less direct manner.

With a little dash of passive-aggressive.

And a heaping cup of understanding and praise.

Hell! Cam doesn't even get that!

Oops!

~*~

Hey! If you're not doing anything Sunday (and it's not Easter, so don't pretend you are going to church), Mike and I will be hanging out with Jay and Matt on I'm With Stupid at noon eastern time on their show - appropriately titled - Rock the Cradle of Love:

What's it like to be in a relationship with someone many years older or younger? Well, this week Jayman and Matt-Man are going to discuss these May-December loves with our good friends Dana and Mike. They can tell us what it's like to be the Cougar and the Cub and all the ups and downs of being involved with someone from a different generation. So join us as we analyze this phenomenon and even call in with your questions and comments.

This should be fun ...

~*~

Brew-Ha-Ha

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Last week, there was a bit of a brew-ha-ha in my immediate blog-sphere. Surprisingly it wasn't me who initiated it this time (I was more like collateral damage) but it could have been me. In fact, it has been me in the past.

What happened? Well, Matt-Man had the audacity - as a non-New Yorker - to write a post about the Mosque at (near) Ground Zero. If that wasn't bad enough (because we all know New Yorkers have special privilege when it comes to being affected by 9-11, and Matt-Man is many things but he is not a New Yorker) he quoted a comment left by Karen, used it in a "less-than-flattering" manner ... and ... he didn't give her a heads up.

There was a time not so long ago when I would have said that Matt-Man exercised bad blogging manners ... and I'd have been wrong. *gasp*

What?? How can that be?? Well, I've written several posts where I have quoted and/or just plain "called out" other bloggers on their opinions and comments (HERE , HERE , HERE and HERE ... for starters). Some of these posts I gave the bloggers/commenters no warning. Some of them I gave a heads up and mentioned they would likely not agree with my opinions. I've used parts of posts/comments without referencing the writer. Hell, I've even offered to let bloggers/commenters READ THE POST before I publish it (they've always declined) and you know what? With very few exceptions (Jayman and Matt-Man come to mind), I've gotten the same response each and every time. Those I disagree with are PISSED.

See, this isn't about good blogging manners, it's about having a differing opinion. When I blog about the [ego-stroking adjective] post that [blogger name] wrote, I get nothing but appreciation and adoration. But have a differing opinion? And make it public? Then use the blogger/commenter's words as part of my argument? That will get one removed from the Christmas card list, unfollowed on twitter, blog removed from Reader AND unfriended on facebook.

What was my part in the Matt-Man/Karen brew-ha-ha? I didn't stick up for Karen. Her feelings were hurt. I get that, but I didn't feel what Matt-Man did was wrong and I agreed with his opinion. I don't think Karen's reaction to what Matt-Man wrote would have been any different had he sent her an email saying "I'm using your comment in a blog post tomorrow" (although she believes it would have). Experience tells me the reaction would have been the same - Karen would still have been PISSED.

Why? Because this is about people and how they react to opinions different than their own - especially when they are held accountable for their own opinions in a public forum.

Before anyone starts screaming "HYPOCRITE" at their computer monitor, yes, I have over-reacted to a blog post or two (or many) in the past. I will definitely probably do it again at some point in the future. What I hope I've learned though is that it is far better to reach out to the person behind the blog and ASK what their intention was rather than assuming it was meant to harm, belittle or embarrass in a public forum. Hopefully they'll have the gonads to be truthful in their response (not always the case).

You see, when all is said and done, Aunt Becky from Mommy Wants Vodka sums it up quite well:

I don’t owe The Internet anything.

I can help my friends with whatever they need, but I don’t owe anybody anything. There’s a difference there, you see? It may be a fine line, but there is a line.

I would argue it's not really a fine line - that this particular line is drawn with a Sharpie Chisel Tip, not a 0.5mm Pentel P225.

I don't owe The Internet anything.

Better yet? The Internet doesn't owe me anything, and it's quite liberating to (finally) embrace that!

~*~*~

Friday Wrap-Up (Thursday/HNT Edition)

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It's been a while since I played HNT, and since someone mentioned last night that this would be a good HNT pic, what the hell?

Of course, some of you might insist it would have been better had I been topless - and I'd likely agree - but going to jail for public indecency (the laundromat does have video surveillance) just wasn't in my plans yesterday.

~*~

I'm headed out on another road trip this afternoon, this time almost due south. I hate it when bloggers are all "clandestine" with their off-blog activities - it reeks of "I'm special and you're not" high-school foolishness. I guess I should remember that it might actually be for them what it is for me - respect of the anonymity of others.

I am quite excited though as one of the stops will be the St. Louis Arch, and yes, I'll be taking the tram up to the top. I hear there will also be dinner at an excellent sushi restaurant. It will be the first time in years that I've eaten sushi that didn't come from Target. Don't judge me ...

~*~

Cam is coming home Saturday ... I think ...

I've really been trying to work on my "control" issues - appreciating the joy of spontaneity - but when it comes to things like ... say ... not just what time, but what DAY are you bringing my son back, I get a little stressed with the lack of information.

In this case, I plan on heading home Saturday from my quickie road trip, but it would be nice to know if I should be home at 2PM or if I can take my time and be home later in the evening. Do you think I can get a response from my son? And if that weren't bad enough, it seems the adults aren't making decisions either.

Of course Cam does have a key and is more than capable of taking care of himself for a few hours. Maybe I just need to let him know when I'll be home?!

~*~

Not sure what my computer access will look like over the next few travel days (thus the reason for the Thursday Edition of the Friday Wrap-Up) so don't worry if you don't see me for a while ... not like anyone does ... I certainly don't get the one or two millions of concerned emails that Matt-Man gets when he is two hours late to publish a post! And yeah ... I am going to take it personally ...

... or not ... it just occurred to me that he might be getting those emails because people want to make sure he hasn't left Bagwine :)

Have a great weekend everyone!!

~*~*~

Lessons From Bagwine

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So yeah ... some of you are going to get tired of the Matt-Man and Schmoop love fest here, but I walked (drove) away from this weekend with quite a bit of insight into some things I wasn't expecting to gain any insight on, and I think there are some really good life lessons to share.

You spend most of your life at work - love what you do
Many of you "know" Matt-Man only by what he writes. You know he works at the beer mine. You know he's a smart ass. What you may not know is that he has held some pretty phenomenal jobs - jobs that came with HUGE amounts of responsibility and "corporate politicking." Matt-Man does what he does because he loves doing what he's doing. He made a conscientious decision to work in an environment that he enjoys being in.

How many of us go to a job every day that we really don't like, allowing it to negatively impact the parts of our life we do like because we limit our views of what "successful" means?

No matter what you do, do your best
I watched Matt-Man in action at the beer mine. His performance was as well choreographed as the Bolshoi Ballet. Customers came in, were helped promptly and efficiently, then pulled out and were on their way. The beer mine could just as easily be a cluster-fuck if it weren't for the fact that Matt-Man takes pride in what he does.

How many of us do what we have to do and nothing more, or expect to be recognized in some grandiose way when we actually do go above and beyond?

Everyone wants to feel special
I don't care if you are eating dinner at a fancy-schmancy restaurant, or driving through the beer mine, you want to feel special. There is nothing like knowing that someone remembers you or is going out of their way to offer you great service. Matt-Man sees his customers coming before they ever drive in, often having their "regular" order ready for them before they even stop inside.

How many of us wait for someone to ask us for something even when we know what they want or need instead of being proactive and allowing them to feel special because we were thinking of only them in that moment?

Nice is a choice
There was a customer who came into the beer mine while I was there who wanted a bag of ice. He asked what was available - 8 lb and 25 lb bags. He asked for an 8 lb bag convinced the 25 lb wouldn't fit in his cooler. Matt-Man brought him an 8 lb bag and gave him his total. The man then decides he needs a second 8 lb bag. I'd have rolled my eyes while mumbling some "mother-fucker"'s under my breath, but not Matt-Man - he chose to be nice.

How many of us make a situation worse for all involved by making the choice to to be nasty instead of making the choice to be nice?

It doesn't matter how much you've got if you're not willing to share
I spent less than two days at the Bagwine abode, but felt like I belonged there from the minute I walked through the door. Matt-Man and Schmoop shared their home with me - nothing was off limits - not even Kelly.


How many of us find ourselves holding on so tightly to what we have that we miss the opportunity to feel gratitude and appreciation from others?

It doesn't matter how fast you want to go, there is always road construction
There were a few times during my trip that I found myself with my foot on the brake pedal more often than it was on the gas pedal (What the hell are they doing in Indianapolis? Building another bridge to nowhere??) Life is kind of like that some times - we want to go fast - reach the goal - but something we hadn't planned on stops us dead in our tracks. We can either spend that time looking at things we would have missed had we sped by, or we can wallow in the fact that it is taking too much time to reach our destination.

How many of us get so caught up in how fast we think we should be going that we neglect to appreciate where we are right now?

~*~*~

This One Time, At Bagwine ...

~*~*~

I started my Saturday morning early ... a little too early. Sleep escaped me Friday night. Seems the anxiety of sending Cam off to camp, coupled with the anxiety associated with meeting "new" people was a recipe for restlessness. I sucked it up ('cause I'm "tough" like that) and was waiting in line at 8:00 AM to check in Cam for camp.

Thirty minutes later, this was the view as I left the church parking lot

Then it was home for a shower, "packing" (does a backpack count as packing?) and 30 minutes of studying the map and directions to Bagwine. Yes, I really did, and as it turned out it was a good thing. See, I have a color printer that was running low on cyan ink, but had plenty of black ink. Silly me thought if I wanted to print something in black ink the printer would obey my commands. Clearly my printer didn't know I was the boss. I resorted to writing out the directions by hand.

What I didn't realize, because I didn't have a MAP, was that I would spend about an hour driving in Illinois, an hour driving in Ohio, and FOUR AND A HALF hours driving in Indiana. About four hours into my drive through Indiana I tweeted:

Where the FUCK is Ohio?

In fact, I had been in Indiana so long I considered making a quick stop here for a little relief ...


I was certain I had somehow missed Ohio. That, or they had extended the eastern border of Indiana all the way to Maryland. But then I saw it ...

That's when I called Schmoop and broke down in fits of frustration asked how much farther it was. Fortunately, I was less than an hour away!!

I drove straight to the beer mine and look who I found ...


Thank goodness he gave me the right address to the beer mine. That could have been embarrassing!

For those of you who are like me and have lived somewhat "sheltered" lives, this concept of a drive through micro-convenience store that sells beer is pretty amazing. And if you could see it in action you'd be even more impressed. It was full of awesome.


I spent the last two hours of Matt-Man's shift hanging out at the beer mine and getting over those first few minutes of awkward. It's a little odd meeting someone you've "known" for three years for the first time - especially when that person knows more about you than people you've known your entire life and yet you've never touched them. Fortunately, awkward eased quite rapidly.

Then it was time to head to the Bagwine abode with a 30-pack of these ...

And a pint of this ...

Oh yes I did! I chose the Wild Berry vintage. Matt-Man insisted on the traditional Red, and Schmoop (probably the smartest one in the bunch) stayed with the Milwaukee's Best.


For the record, if any of you are really my friends, you won't let me drink Wild Irish Rose ever again. Seriously! The headache was beyond description. I actually spent half of the night squishing my head between my hands in hopes that I could actually physically stop the throbbing.

And then morning came ... VERY early. Seems Matt-Man and Schmoop have no concept of sleep being a key factor in the drinking recovery process.

Sunday morning started off with the grand tour. Having lived in Podunk for four years now, touring Bagwine was like going to Disneyland! They have a museum, parks and TWO WalMarts! Oh, and we picked up breakfast from a Bagwine icon.

No, the bakery didn't sell beer - that was round two - but they did give me a free doughnut when Matt-Man told them I was visiting from out of town. The temptress behind the counter found a "broken" whole wheat doughnut that, of course, they couldn't sell, and included in the box. I have to say that I have never eaten such lard laden perfection in my life.

And what visit to Bagwine would be complete without a home-cooked meal of Loosemeat and Lima beans? One of the best meals I've had in a long time ...

There was more beer, a phone call to Jay, some drunk tweeting and tons of great gossip conversation. And yes, as a matter of fact we did talk about you, you and even you!

If you've read Matt-Man's blog, you know that this was all that was left of me Monday morning ...


Those of you who have met bloggers know what a wonderful experience it is, and this was no exception. Matt-Man and Schmoop are both amazing people and I feel privileged to have had the opportunity to spend some time with them.

Now, if someone would please tell me what the hell I did to my thumb last night. The tip of it has been all tingly since I woke up this morning ...

~*~*~

Friday Wrap-Up

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Remember last week when I mentioned my car was all fixed and all it needed was an oil change, tire rotation and front end alignment? Famous last words.

I took it in to Firestone only to learn the lower right tie rod was loose. What does that mean? I don't have a clue, but I'm told that if it lets go when you're driving at 70 mph, it's a very, VERY bad thing ... as in the one wheel will turn completely sideways while the other three stay straight. Not something I want to experience.

Husband has been EXTREMELY helpful with these car repairs and offered to help with this one too. Cavy is in the shop as we speak and should be ready to go around lunch time today. The shop gave her a complete once-over (I'm sure she's feeling quite violated) and deemed her road worthy!

~*~

Tomorrow is the day I send Cam off to church camp for a week in Northern Wisconsin. He had such a wonderful time last year that he's been looking forward to this for the last 364 days.

Tonight Cam and I will be making a trip to the laundromat and packing his suitcase for the week. I'm hoping they have much better weather this year than last year - last year they had temps in the low 60's all week and a few days of torrential downpours.

I will be enjoying the break as well, and even have a couple of my own excursions planned.

~*~

OK, maybe my first excursion would be better described as a death wish. I will be leaving the creature comforts of Podunk Saturday for this creature:

I think I just heard an audible *GASP* when y'all read that! Yes, it's true, I will be driving down to Bagwine for for a taste of Matt-Man ... errrrrr ... Loose Meat. Wait! That just sounds wrong, doesn't it?

I'm a little afraid, which is why I'm letting you all know where I'm headed so that if I don't return you know where to start looking for me.

In all seriousness, I'm actually looking forward to the trip. Matt-Man and Schmoop have been around my blog almost from the beginning, and it will be great to actually spend a little bit of time with them!

~*~

Favorite photo from Dana Does Digital this week? Hands down it has to be the "After the Storm" photo that was downloaded straight from my camera to the computer. Yes, the sky really was this color!

~*~*~

Questions And More Questions

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Let's see, this started out as Jay doing Savannah's “Questions” meme - a meme with a twist. This meme is constantly evolving - I answer the 10 questions that Jay posted and then post 10 questions of my own for anyone to answer on their blog or in comments. Jay asked some great questions - I couldn't resist the pull to the "dark side."


1. You’re building your dream house. What’s the one thing that this house absolutely, positively MUST HAVE? (other than the obvious basics of course)

A library. One constructed with warm, dark woods. One with comfy chairs and sofas. One with an espresso bar in the corner. One that looks like this:


2. What is your dream car?

Can we talk? I don't have nice car envy. I'm a functional, practical kind of gal. Not in a minivan or "crossover SUV" (i.e. minivans for people who don't want to admit they drive a minivan) kind of way, but in an I want a vehicle that gets me from point A to point B efficiently , comfortably and dependably.

Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate the beauty and quality of a Bentley, I just am not attracted to that kind of vehicle.

So, if I went "dream car" I'd have to go with a sentimental favorite, a 1969-1/2 Dodge Super Bee. And yes, it does have to be green! Give me the muscle!


And if I had to choose a modern day dream car? I'd go with the 2010 Dodge Challenger. And since I'm dreaming, I'd have it painted 1969-1/2 Super Bee Green *wink*


3. What is your favorite website that isn’t a blog.

The Google search page?? I don't have a website that I spend a great deal of time on. I flutter through all of the blogs in my reader, I glance at Facebook (and play hours of Bejewelled), and I keep TweetDeck running in the background ... always ...

4. iPhone 4 or Droid, which do you want?

Neither. I need a phone that I can make and receive phone calls on and that I can send and receive text messages on. A decent camera would be a bonus. Seriously, I wouldn't use much else on an iPhone or a Droid, so why bather paying some ridiculous amount for a data package?? And let's be honest here, would the internets come crashing down if I were away from twitter for a few days? Ha! I think not!

5. When you’re feeling down or lonely or just generally out of sorts, what do you do to cheer yourself up?

Drive. Preferably a nice, long road-trip. Some of that open road, 75 mph driving. Driving relaxes me and focuses me, as long as it's not rush hour Chicago traffic. I won't tell you what that does to me.

6. Tell me about something or someone that you love that most people seem to hate.

Lima Beans. I love lima beans and they seem to be an ignore legume. It takes a special person to appreciate the joy of lima beans ... like Matt Man!

7. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Crud ... I don't know ...

The problem with this question is that it changes as events in my life change. Recently I've been looking in to Special Education Advocacy. I have a strong desire to spend my work day making a difference, and if there is one thing this past year has taught me it's that there isn't an even playing field for parents of kids with special needs. I'd love to spend my working day changing that.

8. Would you go on a reality show if given the chance?

Ummmm ... maybe?? I don't know that I would want the media attention that comes with being on a reality show, but I sure would enjoy the opportunity to see if I could make it through a season of Survivor or The Amazing Race.

9. Who was your favorite teacher when you were growing up. (Grade school, Middle School, Jr. High or High School only.)

Mr. Elsworth, my 6th grade teacher. He was AMAZING. He made my feel OK being me during a time when my home life was chaotic and when puberty had really done a number on me (I was a 5'-8", 180 pound, 11 year old 6th grade girl - awkward anyone?).

And few years ago, I took the opportunity to send him an email telling him just that.

10. You get one pass to do something illegal or immoral. What are you gonna do?

Is it just a "Get out of jail" pass, or a moral pass that will erase my mind of any guilt?? My issue with illegal and/or immoral is the subsequent guilt and self-loathing that follows.

On second thought ... I think I'll take a pass on that on that pass ...

~*~

Now it's your turn! Here are 10 random questions for YOU to answer, either in the comments or on your own blog. Play if you'd like, but please let me know if you do!

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?

2. By this time next year, I ...

3. Do you think the United States will elect a female President in your lifetime? Do you think this would be a good thing?

4. Which fictional, TV show character you would shag anytime?

5. What is your greatest pet peeve?

6. Tell me about your most recent trip of more than 100 miles?

7. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?

8. Do you have a nickname? What is it?

9. What are you dreading at the moment?

10. Do you worry that others will judge you from reading some of your answers?

~*~*~

A Crafty Kwanzaa

~*~*~*~*~

I am often times amazed by the cosmic happenstance that occurs in the blogsphere.

Yesterday, Matt-Man wrote a piece on Kwanzaa in only the way that Matt-Man can. I laughed so hard I pee'd my pants cried, then kept reading the comments all day waiting for the shit to hit the fan thoughtful and caring words of wisdom from his many enlightened readers.

As fate would have it (here's where that cosmic happenstance comes in), I was minding my own business on Twitter, when one of the crafters I follow (don't act so surprised) tweeted this series of 140 character or less thoughts:



OK, so maybe I *do* stereotype people a little bit, but I certainly didn't expect to see a craft blogger posting about racism ... even the "casual" variety. We all know that crafters are far more into knitting pouches to hold all of their Christmas gifts than they are about world peace ... or racism ... right?? Curiosity got the best of me and off I clicked.

What I found was Alexis of One Grand Home and her views on a group who call themselves "Knitta, please." Without going into too much detail, "Knitta, please" is a knit graffiti crew. They "tag" parking meters, buses, bike racks, lamp posts, car antennas, columns, statues, exposed plumbing, etc. with - you guessed it - granny squares. Alexis takes issue with what she calls the "casual racism" of the Knitta, please name. Her post, Racism Is Not Crafty, got me thinking on several levels.

First, who knew? My obvious stereotyping slapped me right up along side the head. I couldn't imagine there was an undercurrent of heavy subjects like racism in the knitting/crafting world. How does one find the time to consider such lofty topics when they are knitting one and pearling two?

Second, why hasn't Knitta, please come to Chicago to warm our parking meters? Heaven knows the parking meters in Austin Texas stay warm all winter. They don't need a cozy!

Then I pictured Matt-Man wrapped up in a crocheted afghan, and Alexis with a bottle of Wild Irish Rose, and realized they are really both doing the same thing, just in very different ways.

My guess is that Alexis would find Matt-Man's Kwanzaa post beyond "casual" racism, ranking right up there with overt racism, and that Matt-Man still hasn't stopped kicking himself in the ass for not copyrighting the term Knitta, please before those crafty Texans did.

But beyond that, they both got people talking about a topic we don't like to talk about. One that remains far more of an issue in this country than many of us are aware of. Matt-Man tends to do this by taking the power out of the words through satire where Alexis does it by encouraging people to be more aware of how little bits of racism innocently creep into our lives.

Which way do you lean? Will you drink from the Wild Irish Rose bottle or are you working on a granny square?

**EDIT**

I've continued following the discussion thread over at Racism Is Not Crafty and I have to tell you that I am truly amazed at some of the comments - from using the acronym POC (for People of Color, rather than using a human descriptor) and then calling everyone who supports "Knitta, please" racist, to implying that if one is tired of being PC (and let's be honest, who isn't no matter if you are a "POC" or a "P w/o C") they are "too lazy/scared/uninterested in educating" themselves makes me realize that we have even farther to go in this plight than I imagined ... and it's the people who are so vocal in claiming they AREN'T racist who are the greatest hurdle!

Unfortunately, this discussion on race at Racism Is Not Crafty ended as so many do ... with shutting down the comments of those who dared find nothing wrong with the moniker "Knitta, please" I find that unfortunate.

In her follow-up post she gave kudos to those willing to do something about "Knitta, please" - to somehow shut them down - and gave credit only to commenters who agreed with her position. Again, terribly unfortunate.

Alexis, in her final reply to my comments wrote:

Dana,

I’m going to respond to you one last time and then you can have the final word because I don’t think dialog with you is going to be productive. If you are offended by the abbreviation POC, it is probably because you don’t spend any substantial time conversing about race online. The abbreviations POC, WOC, AfAm, AA, COC, EA, SA and on and on are all used in various contexts to speed communication about various groups of people just like DH, DS, DD are used in online conversations about family structure. That’s all.

As for your chuckles at the n-word and hearty enjoyment of racist caricatures about African American holidays, I leave you to it.

... and then a general comment to all of her readers:

Moderation warning: If you create different aliases to manufacture a fiction of agreement with your perspective, your posts will be deleted and you will be banned.

Way to keep those lines of communication open! She is definitely not interested in the Wild Irish Rose method and much prefers her comfortable, safe granny squares where all can be predicted and controlled. It's too bad ... really ...

If anyone is interested, earlier this month CNN published a GREAT article titled Urban knitters spin yarn into graffiti that talks about Knitta, please and their "gorilla street art". If you'd like to see how a genuine artistic effort is being manipulated into what Alexis refers to as "casual racism" read the article and judge for yourself.

Mountain out of a mole hill anyone?

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WWC - "F" and Altered

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His satire is relentless, but life caught up with him this weekend and he landed himself a spot in a semi-private room where the sheets are changed daily, all of his meals are served to him in bed and no one lets him sleep for more than 47 minutes at a time!

Get well soon Matt-Man! Thoughts and prayers are with you!

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You, too, can join WWC. You'll find information over at Jay's place, on Facebook or on Flickr.

This week’s words are “Altered” and “F.” Again, these are cell phone pictures and all but one of them was altered (I really enjoy playing with pixels) with a little help from paint.net and picnik. Any guesses which photo wasn't altered?

Following the fall harvester. I was behind this guy for about 5 miles with no way to pass him as the harvester took up almost the entire road!

I am lucky enough to have Food in the pantry. Can you spot the SPAM?

Altered reflection

Food sign - this is a landmark sign in my community. Home of the best broasted chicken in the Chicagoland area!

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I Think I've Said Enough

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I learned something yesterday - what it feels like to read less than flattering things about yourself in another's blog. In this case, there was no malice intended - in fact, knowing my dear friend as well as I do, I have no doubt that he felt not saying what he said would be far more detrimental than saying it.

It wasn't just his post, but some of the comments, that really stung. I know there are many of you out there who would just like to grab me by my cyber shoulders and shake some sense into me. What's odd is that you (said collectively) have, and yet you don't see the change. I'll admit - it's slow - painfully slow at times - but there has been progress.

Clearly, I am getting something out of this relationship or I wouldn't still be in it. Maybe I do revel in the victim mode - maybe I am so manipulative that I sit on the fence only to garner all of your sympathy and attention - or maybe I'm just human, making mistakes along the way, mustering up enough honesty and integrity to lay out all of the ugliness and imperfections in this very public forum. As I re-read my words (and your comments), as I gain self-worth and perspective, as I take chances and move forward - progress is made.

I'm not going to attempt to justify any of my actions or inactions. There are no justifications, only excuses.

I've turned off comments for this post. I think I've said enough.

EDIT: I turned off comments because I felt that responding to them would come across as trying to justify my position. I just don't want to do that - not now - not again - not ever.

I'll return to regularly scheduled programing tomorrow - it will be, after all, TMI Tuesday!

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Wednesday Bits

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I want to thank all of you for your supportive comments yesterday. I know that I didn't address each of you individually, but my energy level is a bit low. In fact, I think I now know what it's like to be a snow cone with all of the flavor sucked out of it!

My home life last night was pretty much as I expected. I was ignored. The dinner I cooked was shunned in favor of a self-made peanut butter sandwich. As I was cleaning the kitchen and helping Cam with his homework, the volume on the TV was turned up to obscure my irritating behavior. Not a word was spoken. I slept in "our" bed but did not set the alarm, nor did I wake him up this morning.

*UPDATE* I attempted a congenial conversation as husband was leaving this morning and received the hand and a "I have nothing remotely nice to say to you" as he walked out the door. I didn't do anything to escalate the situation and simply watched him walk out. It's pretty clear this must be about more than the alarm clock, but as he is not speaking, I have no idea what other infractions I may have committed, but I am certain they are many.

This isn't typical of how I usually handle these situations, and I think that is a step in the right direction - a small step, but a step none-the-less.

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Remember when I told you I requested an agenda for the "special" conference next week? This was the response I received:

Mrs. Dana:

Cam is having some difficulties with organization, work completion, and staying focused on task. We are hoping that by having the longer conference period, we can develop an intervention plan to assist Cam with some of these concerns. The results of the independent educational evaluation should be very helpful in developing a plan. Thanks.

When I requested the agenda, I informed the author of the email that Cam had an independent educational evaluation done over the summer. My guess is he won't feel it is quite so helpful when he has an opportunity to review it and finds that the evaluator believes this is an issue with the learning environment rather than a problem with Cam.

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A really cool thing happened in the blogshpere yesterday. It was a marriage proposal! It looks like I'm going to have to share my blog crush "officially" now. If you haven't already done so, you really should read the PROPOSAL POST (don't forget to read the comments where she FINALLY accepted), then stop by and congratulate Matt-Man and Schmoop!

As difficult a day as yesterday was, this warmed my heart and renewed my faith in love.

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HNT - Bagwine Too

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Those of you who read my blog regularly know that I lust for have the utmost respect for Matt-Man over at Bagwine Ruminations. He's been a great sounding board, inspiration and friend, not to mention the object of my desires blog crush. He recently sent me a special gift for my blogiversary (what I'm wearing and what I am clutching) and I could think of no better way to honor him than to say,

"Reality Goes Better With Bagwine, Cheers!"

And just what does one wear with a Bagwine t-shirt? *CLICK*

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Fab Five + One

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One of the things I wanted to do during blogiversary week was to acknowledge some of you who have been with me for quite some time - who have encouraged and supported me when my blog was disorganized and inconsistent. Those who have stuck with me through the past year. The down side to this is I really could name something special about every single one of you - but then you'd tire of my blog manifesto, and we can't have that!

Let's start at the beginning, shall we? I have one commenter who came to my blog from the Yahoo "blogger dare" group, and she still comments. We've had our ups and downs, some of those on the blog, some off-line. Yet she keeps coming back here, and I think that speaks volumes to her character. This one might surprise those of you who have witnessed the cat fighting banter. Who is this mystery gal? Fairy Flutters! Yep! She is the only one from that group who still consistently comments on my blog. Hmmmm ...

Then we have the Fab Five - those first five commenters who weren't from the Yahoo Group and who still - amazingly - continue to comment today. In order of appearance:

1. RockDog - Probably best known for his participation on Blog Talk Radio's Annie & Burl show, but also a self-proclaimed porn snob - and kindly gives lessons to those aspiring slut-next-door types!
2. Real Live Lesbian - She's my girl blogger crush. If she weren't so completely in love with her girl I would definitely probably be stalking her.
3. g-man - If you ever want to see some amazingly creative photography (his nature stuff is Ansel Adams reminiscent) or you need a little hot monkey sex, he's your guy - and he's been an amazing supporter of mine.
4. Captain Corky - I'm not sure there are words for Corky. He's a talented writer and really should blog more than he does (*hint*hint*). We used to hang out on stickam on occasion. I lost my webcam virginity to him (get your minds out of the gutter)!
   
5. Jay - What can I say about Jay? He claims to be a cynical bastard, but I don't believe it for a second. He's got to be one of the most caring, considerate people out here in blog land!

Yep! Believe it or not, the first five "real" people who ever commented on my blog are still stopping by. Pretty damn amazing!

What? Y'all are surprised you didn't see Matt-Man on the top 5 list? Yeah, I don't know what took him so damn long to get here either, but now I can't get him to leave! Just kidding Matt - I kid because I love.

Thanks to all of you who stop by to see what train wreck has occurred silly thing I'm pontificating about on any current day. It really is all of you who inspire me and help me to become a better person!

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It's A Blogiversary

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A year ago today, on the pseudo dare of a few women I "knew" through a Yahoo group, I decided to start a blog. I didn't even know what a blog was, let alone that there was an actual community of bloggers out there. It started out innocently enough with my virgin blogging post, and it has grown into something that still baffles me on a daily basis.

I remember when I hit my 100th post. I was actually surprised to have gotten there and was still just learning about the true value of blogging. Now, here I am - a year later - 285 posts under my belt, and I am finally realizing that I'm just beginning to reap the personal rewards of blogging.

I'll be doing a few posts over the next week about how blogging has impacted my life, but wanted to start with this vlog. You see, Matt-Man (who, for the record, didn't show himself on my blog until December 13th - a full THREE MONTHS after I started this damn thing) sent me a blogiversary gift, and being the kind of person I am, I thought I'd share.

Just ignore the references to the "first vlog" - it's actually going to be the second vlog and will be posted tomorrow. Unfortunately, I couldn't find an acceptable place to edit out the reference, so you're stuck with my screwed up sequencing full use of artistic license instead.

Oh, and after you watch the vlog, scroll down a bit because there is a contest ... yes ... with real prizes and everything!

**CONTEST DETAILS**

Anyone who leaves a comment on this blogiversary post will be eligible for a coveted prize package. Now, I can't tell you what you should be coveting because then you might not enter I'm not even sure what you should be coveting. You can leave as many comments as you'd like, but it will not improve your chances of winning. The prize will be mailed, so you must be willing to trust me not to stalk you with your address.

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Critically Flawed

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11/05/08: THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED IN AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE AMENDS. ALTHOUGH I STAND BY MY ASSERTIONS, IT'S CLEAR THAT THOSE MENTIONED IN THIS POST WERE OFFENDED. THAT WAS NOT MY INTENT AND SO I HAVE REMOVED ALL REFERENCE TO THE INDIVIDUALS INVOLVED.

A funny thing happens when you post about controversial topics, you get controversial comments. Now, in and of itself, that is a good thing. How can we possibly grow as people if we never consider a point of view that is different than our own. I actually like it when people disagree with my position and are able to convey their thoughts in a logical, unemotional argument. My post on the Chicago Public School's proposed "walk out" to protest per pupil spending discrepancies generated just those kinds of arguments, and a few others.

Before anyone questions my blogger integrity, I did ask XXX and XXX for their permission to use their comments and post, and they both graciously allowed my indulgence, and amends a mutual respect has been assumed [EDIT: There I go, making assumptions again. Seems XXX and have come to a place of mutual respect. XXX flip-flopped on me]. This isn't a "Blast the nasty commenters" post, but rather a post that explores how our own biases and perceptions can sometimes cloud the real point of a post, and how perception of those we don't know, but think we do, can be critically flawed.

I'll admit, I was a bit taken aback by XXX responses to my post, more specifically, parts of her second response.

If I understand correctly, you went to school to be a paralegal. I wouldn't exactly call that "college educated". I'd call that a vocation.

This was, in my opinion, an emotional response and not meant to validate her argument, but rather to belittle mine. In her defense, she claims that was not the case - it was an honest mistake, but it is this type of response that loses me in a debate. It isn't factual, yet was presented as fact. Even if it were, it in no way relates to parents becoming involved in their kids' education - the main point of my post.

Perhaps you didn't intend to come off they way you did at least to my eyes, but I think it's a bit wrong to think your child deserves better simply b/c you live in a rich neighborhood and the factory worker's kid doesn't deserve that same opportunity.

I do feel that if I work hard, my family should benefit from that hard work. I didn't just arbitrarily find myself in a "rich neighborhood," I worked hard to get here. It wasn't dumb luck, a lottery win or a trust fund, but rather embracing and realizing opportunity. It was setting priorities and goals and striving towards accomplishing those even when there were significant setbacks.

What I now know about XXX is that she grew up in a "low income" home in a poor area with a struggling and depressed single mother. I would assume that she has a bias that clouded her ability to see the main point of my post. She felt I was putting her down and she fought back.

Then there was XXX. He actually published a post and then deleted it from his blog. Although technically it is no longer on his blog, it was, and is, available in its entirety on any RSS feed reader. [EDIT: XXX has since re-posted his response on his blog, along with unmarked edits and all (?) of the original comments] He wrote, in part:

Its interesting that people who 'work' for a living are the biggest complainers...try 'creating' see how hard that is. We NEED all of you people -people like, like Dana that feel superior and do some kind of 'work' that is 'superior' to the people that keep the airport clean more superior than the the rest of you "people" you are all perfectly good little office 'grunts' basic 'lowlifes' because you are below the college education of say- Dana ...me I just make art and it does all right by me...... and I appreciate every single person I ever come across - slow like the slow child or quick witted like the neighbor. I think education comes from________fill in the blank.

XXX's writing can be a bit abstract at times, however this was pretty clear. His perception is that I feel superior than "the people that keep the airport clean (snip) perfectly good little office 'grunts' basic 'lowlifes'" and, I can reasonably extrapolate that he perceives me as someone without appreciation for the people I come in contact with daily. OUCH!

XXX did say in a follow-up email, "I had this opinion last night but then had a change of heart this morning....I felt bad singling you out as you probably voice an opinion had by many and I didn't want to seem like I was picking on you because I am not."

[EDIT: Apparently he's had a change of heart on this as well and attempts to "blame" it one me for "bringing him back into this" when he had the opportunity to decline my request. Hmmmmm - agenda?]

All that I can reasonably assume is that XXX has a disdain for people he perceives as feeling superior - not just superior towards him, but superior towards anyone. Like Fairy Flutters, he felt a personal attack at some level and he fought back.

I'd tell you I was shocked by their perceptions, but I've heard them before. It makes me sad - sad that I am not able to communicate my position in a way that is logical, yet empathetic. I've never quite been able to put it into words, but Matt-Man (with a little help from Schmoop) was able to. He wrote:

Schmoop has pointed out to me that when I argue or debate with others, I am always cool, calm, collected, and matter of fact. She knows that I have very little little feeling of any kind of grandeur, but to others it can come off as smug.

I can see how this type of thing can apply to you. You know why? Because like me, when you do debate you stick to your facts without interjecting visceral statements. (although I do DO interject sarcasm, if I know it's gonna piss the other person off, Hee Hee)

Smug. There it is. I debate in a matter-of-fact tone, I stick to the topic of debate, I detach myself emotionally, and it is sometimes perceived as smug. My own bias towards protecting my emotional vulnerability is likely the culprit. I know that identified weaknesses are easy targets for those looking to take aim. I've learned to minimize those targets - at all costs.

There is a price for emotional protection - it's called smug. Smug isn't me - just a perception of me - a perception that really is critically flawed.

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