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I want to thank all of you for your supportive comments yesterday. I know that I didn't address each of you individually, but my energy level is a bit low. In fact, I think I now know what it's like to be a snow cone with all of the flavor sucked out of it!
My home life last night was pretty much as I expected. I was ignored. The dinner I cooked was shunned in favor of a self-made peanut butter sandwich. As I was cleaning the kitchen and helping Cam with his homework, the volume on the TV was turned up to obscure my irritating behavior. Not a word was spoken. I slept in "our" bed but did not set the alarm, nor did I wake him up this morning.
*UPDATE* I attempted a congenial conversation as husband was leaving this morning and received the hand and a "I have nothing remotely nice to say to you" as he walked out the door. I didn't do anything to escalate the situation and simply watched him walk out. It's pretty clear this must be about more than the alarm clock, but as he is not speaking, I have no idea what other infractions I may have committed, but I am certain they are many.
This isn't typical of how I usually handle these situations, and I think that is a step in the right direction - a small step, but a step none-the-less.
I want to thank all of you for your supportive comments yesterday. I know that I didn't address each of you individually, but my energy level is a bit low. In fact, I think I now know what it's like to be a snow cone with all of the flavor sucked out of it!
My home life last night was pretty much as I expected. I was ignored. The dinner I cooked was shunned in favor of a self-made peanut butter sandwich. As I was cleaning the kitchen and helping Cam with his homework, the volume on the TV was turned up to obscure my irritating behavior. Not a word was spoken. I slept in "our" bed but did not set the alarm, nor did I wake him up this morning.
*UPDATE* I attempted a congenial conversation as husband was leaving this morning and received the hand and a "I have nothing remotely nice to say to you" as he walked out the door. I didn't do anything to escalate the situation and simply watched him walk out. It's pretty clear this must be about more than the alarm clock, but as he is not speaking, I have no idea what other infractions I may have committed, but I am certain they are many.
This isn't typical of how I usually handle these situations, and I think that is a step in the right direction - a small step, but a step none-the-less.
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Remember when I told you I requested an agenda for the "special" conference next week? This was the response I received:
When I requested the agenda, I informed the author of the email that Cam had an independent educational evaluation done over the summer. My guess is he won't feel it is quite so helpful when he has an opportunity to review it and finds that the evaluator believes this is an issue with the learning environment rather than a problem with Cam.
Remember when I told you I requested an agenda for the "special" conference next week? This was the response I received:
Mrs. Dana:
Cam is having some difficulties with organization, work completion, and staying focused on task. We are hoping that by having the longer conference period, we can develop an intervention plan to assist Cam with some of these concerns. The results of the independent educational evaluation should be very helpful in developing a plan. Thanks.
When I requested the agenda, I informed the author of the email that Cam had an independent educational evaluation done over the summer. My guess is he won't feel it is quite so helpful when he has an opportunity to review it and finds that the evaluator believes this is an issue with the learning environment rather than a problem with Cam.
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A really cool thing happened in the blogshpere yesterday. It was a marriage proposal! It looks like I'm going to have to share my blog crush "officially" now. If you haven't already done so, you really should read the PROPOSAL POST (don't forget to read the comments where she FINALLY accepted), then stop by and congratulate Matt-Man and Schmoop!
As difficult a day as yesterday was, this warmed my heart and renewed my faith in love.
As difficult a day as yesterday was, this warmed my heart and renewed my faith in love.
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22 comments:
If you make a mistake with Cam's future, you know how you would feel. If the school blows Cam's future, how are the educator's going to feel? If you get it right for what is best for Cam you will feel great. One way or the other don't let the school take your responsibility away. You have a vested interest in getting the best education for Cam.
Your husband, what a fucker and a child. Oh, he is your husband so I take it back but I'm not erasing it this time. How did you wake yourself or didn't you sleep? Does he have ANY redeeming qualities? You are strong Dana and I admire your commitment.
Your response to my comment on the last post, about there being no peace left to keep...I am familiar with that feeling. I'm no help, other than commiseration, but my heart is heavy for you.
I hope your meeting goes better than you (we all) are anticipating.
Good Luck with Cam and the meeting. And as for the Hub...well you know how I feel.
Anyhoo...Thanks for the shout-out ya big goofball. Now that I helped warm your heart, I must ask if there is anything else on you I could help warm. Cheers Dana!!
there seems to be a lot goin on in the blogosphere than meets the eye it seems...
Scribblers inc.
I hope I'm getting this right. If you mean you are separating yourself and you are not trying to fix things you didn't break then I think it is a great step. I spent years apologizing to someone for HIM being an asshat.
I hope the meeting for Cam goes well.
I have an ex-girlfriend who was a lot like your husband. I haven't talked to her much since the day I left her at Wal-Mart. I had most of my stuff packed into my car by the time she could get a ride home to our apartment.
Of course I didn't have as much time and effort invested in her as you do, and there were no kids involved.
Doomed, right now I am focusing my efforts on Cam. With the home in upheaval (to say the least) I am remaining vigil in attempts to keep things as "normal" as I can. The issues with the school have actually come at an ideal time - they give me constructive thoughts to fill my head rather than focusing my energies in a futile direction.
Lu, tell me what you really thing *wink* I didn't sleep well last night - was awake several times between 2AM and 4:15AM when I finally climbed out of bed. His redeeming qualities seem to be fading fast ...
Biscuit, I appreciate the support - I really do. Knowing that I'm not doing this "alone" makes it a little less scary.
Your husband is totally immature. I would sink to his level in a second. I can't help it. That is how I am. But I am proud that you didn't.
Good luck with the stuff about Cam's school. What teen is not disorganized and unfocused? Isn't that somewhat normal?
Matt-Man, you are a "taken" man now - all of my warm fantasies have been crushed! What will I ever do without Schmoop in my life? *gigglesnort*
Scribblers, thank you for stopping by and yes, there is always more going on in the blogosphere than meets the eye.
Dianne, yes, you did get it right. I am not trying to fix things I didn't break. I've held out the proverbial olive branch, but I am not going to apologize for his actions. I'll be accountable for mine, but nothing more.
Jay, can I leave my husband at your WalMart? Is that where we return the defective ones??
I'm sure you know how I feel. He's a controlling dipwad that needs to find his ass left at Walmart. I'd just find the closest one.
You can't change him. He will always be this way.
As for Cam, best of luck! I know you're going to go to bat for him and get him what he deserves. He's one lucky son!
Oh, and my girlfriend gets up at 2:45am. I get up between 5:15 and 6ish. Never once have I spoken to her like you were spoken to.
You really do deserve better.
Hugs
Karen, there would be repercussions to me sinking to his level - repercussions I'm not willing to face. And yes, disorganized and unfocused are common qualities in teens, boys and kids who aren't challenged.
RLL, I do think much of what has transpired this past week is directly related to my taking control of me - it started going downhill quickly right after I told him there would be no more sex when he was drinking.
The way you described your (cough) husband's actions towards to you - ignoring your supper and holding up his hand when he left - tells me that you are on the right track. Let him find his way around on his own. I hope that you are able to resolve the situation with the school quickly and amicably.
I read the previous post, but as I am new, I didn't want to just throw my opinion out there. Especially from reading only that post about him. Suffice it to say many of your readers have captured my thoughts. So, I won't have to worry about hurting someone I've just met with my blunt opinions... yet. YOU must have the patience of Job!
Good luck with your son. Kids, school, administrators... Of course the school won't believe its them.
*hugs* sweetie... Hang in there and good luck with the meeting.
xo
Nolens Volens, I am far more concerned about the issues surrounding my son's education than I am with husband's recent antics. It's all about priorities.
Lolita, well - I don't offend easily if that makes an difference *wink* What I have is the ability to handle adult situations in adult ways!
Vixen, I'm hanging - what more can I do?
Any chance he's found your blog?
Dana-I will say this again, you and I seem to be married to twins. His actions mirror my hubby's at many times. I know how that feels and I am sorry you are going through that...Good luck with your son..
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Lots going on, Dana. Please remember to take care of yourself. OK?
I think it incredibly beneficial for you to use your weblog to articulate and put into order some of the thoughts and emotions you must be swirling in.
...and wouldn't be surprised if his home environment doesn't have an effect on Cam as well.
You got alot going on.....I second the advice to also take care of you...not so easy sometimes...I know.
God, he is being such a baby. Either talk about whats bothering you, or play nice.
Can I kick him in the balls for you?
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