14 October 2008

TMI Tuesday - Foresight

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TMI Tuesday


Let me preface this TMI Tuesday by stating that much of this is what I would do/have done in an intimate relationship. In true TMI Tuesday fashion, it is probably best that I "come clean" with the fact that there has been no intimacy in my home for quite some time (months).

1. What do you do that sends a clear signal to your partner that you're interested in an intimate evening?

I'd say it depends upon what kind of sex I'm hoping for - loving, gentle sex or raw, physical sex.

If loving, passionate sex is my goal, I might send sappy texts throughout the day, bring him lunch, have dinner ready when he comes home and rub his shoulders/back after diner. I would attempt to be attentive and arousing. This works really well with "themed" sex too, where preparation makes the experience all the more intense.

If it's raw, physical sex I'm hoping for, an email, right before he leaves work to come home saying nothing more than "Come home and fuck me" would probably do the trick!

2. How important is foreplay to an exciting evening?

I think foreplay is extremely important when hoping for the loving, passionate sex. I also think it becomes more critical the older you get. Let's be honest - for the majority of us, things don't always work as quickly as we want them to once we hit our 40's and beyond. That doesn't mean the desire for great sex is any less, but foreplay has the potential to help the process along!

3. What is the first thing you do during foreplay or what is the first thing you like done to you?

Are we talking preparation foreplay, or we're nekkid in the bed foreplay here?

Preparation foreplay (I want sex but it's not yet a sure thing) would include touch - a lot of touch. Not overtly sexual touch, but rather overtly sensual touch. A brush up against him as he sets his laptop down - a hand on his lower back as he walks by - a hand on his forearm as he tells me about his day.

I usually like to start nekkid in the bed foreplay with kissing and more intimate touching - kissing and nibbling the his shoulders, his neck, his ear and eventually his lips. Deep, tongue probing kissing soon follows as I continuously and wantingly caress his chest - his thighs- his arms - with a firm, passionate touch.

Whew! It's been a while! I think I got myself all worked up over than one!

What works on me? I'm a simple woman - let me know that you want me - that I am the single, most important thing at that moment - and I'll be putty in your hands.

4. Are you a one and done kind of partner (20 minutes or so) or do you like intimacy sessions longer than 60 minutes?

If we have 60 minutes I'll take 62 minutes, but if 5 or 10 minutes is what we've got, I can work with that too!

BONUS: If you are interested in sex with a same-sex partner, what would be the first thing you'd like to touch on that other person, and why? (For those already in same sex relationships...what was the first thing you touched, or if you were interested in a relationship with the opposite sex, what would be the first thing you touched?)

Having experience in same sex relationships, I've not done anything any differently. Foreplay has to be tweaked to the individual. It's something that has far more impact if you are doing what the other person wants/responds to - not just some preplaned foreplay game. This hasn't been any different for me in a same-sex relationship than in a heterosexual relationship *shrugs*

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24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi, Dana...great answers..I like the distinction you make on the foreplay

Real Live Lesbian said...

Yeah, yeah, but what did you TOUCH first? LOL

Great answers! I think *I* got a little worked up, too! ;)

Anonymous said...

I love how open and honest you are in these things. I really do. :)

I love your answer to #3.

I love your bonus too. So true. Foreplay and sex are like so many other things in a relationship, you have to tweak it and find what works for you and them. ;)

Happy TMI!

Schmoop said...

I have nothing to say other than I need to go take a shower. Cheers Sexy!!

Anonymous said...

great answers!
For me the come home and fuck me, is opposite.
I usually hear, *Im coming home and your gonna fuck ME*
Hubby really needs to work on his romantic skills im afraid....hohum...

Anonymous said...

I love your answers and also - I wish I could hug you and whisper sweet nothings in your ear :-) Happy Tuesday.

Dana said...

Marty, thanks for the great questions that allowed for great answers!

RLL, come closer and I'll show you what I touched first *wink*

Damagedstar, any time you go in with a game plan you've already started on a down hill slide!

Dana said...

Matt-Man, did you get all slippery in the shower??

*Sweet*, reminds me of the time I walked into the bedroom to find husband laying nekkid on the bed and he said, "So are you going to suck start this thing or what?"

jGrrl, whispering sweet nothings in my ear just might get you in trouble!

Big Kahuna said...

Hey Dana - Agree with Marty that I liked how you separated preparation foreplay vs. having sex foreplay. I did not know how to explain it but you did.

You are right, as we age things take a bit longer...luckily that can be seen as a good thing!

Tink said...

Great answer for #4. "If I have 60 minutes, I'll take 62." :)

Jormengrund said...

You know, to be honest, you can't really tell that you've not been intimate with details like that in your posting...

Are you sure you're not cheating on him with.. YOUR MIND!? *gasp!*

Great answers!

I'll never forget the day I came home from work to find the wife in our bedroom with a toy buzzing, and screaming at me when I shut the door "Get those clothes off, and fuck me now!"

Best come-on line ever! :D

Anndi said...

I think that as long as there's communication about what's wanted or needed it's all good.

I love it when Honey just walks up to me, grabs me and kisses me hard... leaves me breathless and the knees all wobbly. He makes sure I know he wants me when he does that. And, I love it when we're about to go out and it gives me something to think about.

Dana said...

Kahuna, in my world there is a HUGE difference between what I do when I want it, and what I do when I know I'm going to get it?!

Tink, well ... I've always got to push the boundaries a bit ... *blushes*

Jormengrund, oh, I remember the details. They are vibrant in my mind each and every time I have sex ... by myself! *giggle*

Karen said...

Whoa! This is a little too hot today. I need a cold shower or something. ;-)

Pepper said...

Great answers!

Dana said...

Anndi, it really is about what works for the people involved, isn't it?!

Karen, I know! For a minute there I though I was a sex blogger! I had to take a shower too!!

P and S, thank you!

Ms. Inconspicuous said...

There is such power in touch--for seduction, for foreplay...during, after...

I love that, too.

As American as Apple Pie said...

Wow! Answer number three was almost porn! Got me a little worked up too.

Liz Hill said...

There are so many ways.....

- said...

Awesome answers you wrote here.

"Foreplay has to be tweaked to the individual. It's something that has far more impact if you are doing what the other person wants/responds to -"

YESSS! I couldn't agree with you more! Sexy answers; I loved how you answered these ;)

Vixen said...

Perfect bonus answer. :)

happyTMI! xo

Biscuit said...

We all have our own little things that send shivers down our spine. I think it even differs depending on who's doing the touching, you know. What might drive you wild from one person may not do anything at all coming from someone else.

katherine. said...

isn't the ability to text (and email) just great?

Anonymous said...

There's that dreaded "foreplay" word ;)

lol...

I like the idea about getting set up for the raw physical sex.