~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~When I ran away at 15 I had a plan - a well thought out plan. For the first time in my life, I was living with family who loved me and knew how to show me they loved me. I knew you would be happy that I was gone - you reminded me daily how worthless I was and how resentful you were to have been burdened by one of those kids. But you couldn't do it - you couldn't let me have a chance at being loved and feeling good about myself. You had worked too hard to make sure that would never happen.
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16 comments:
Sad...But in spite of their hard work in making that happen, I am sure you will overcome that. Cheers Dana!!
I guess this is why you don't visit home too often. I think it's hard to look back and see the mistakes our parents made and how it sent us down paths that were not the paths we wanted or needed to go down. Paths, that led us to be in situations that were not good for us. I can't say I have had your same experiences, but I had/have my own HELL too. I just hope we don't make the same mistakes with our kids. We should know better now, shouldn't we?
Letting go of that stuff is part of our life's work I think.
At least you knew what was going on with your family. My dad lived in a bottle and he was a mean drunk. Stopped visiting him at nights. Wasn't sad when he died.
I always try to think that as bad as things were, they helped me be who I am today.
Look at you now, Dana.
You're a tough one.....you should, if anything, be very proud of that fact.
Through our pain we are forged into stronger creatures. Our compassion and generosity tempered like glass. Fragile, we are all like spun sugar, dancing in the breeze. Facades asides, what is left at the core of us, these are the things that make us whole. Embrace your past for what it was, and use it to help you look forward into the future. Your younger self will be more than happy to hold your hand, and shield you from the darker passages.
Things like that make you appreciate what you do have now and how not to treat your children. They in turn made a better life for your kids. It's very sad that it had happened but it made one heck of a woman now....
Ouch........that hurts.
But,
Look at you now!
Sheeeeeeee-zam.
Thanks for sharing this. I know it wasn't easy.
Have a wonderous week ahead!
damn
thats all I got.
Too many miserable people in this world doing their best to make all of us miserable. It's really sad.
Matt-Man, I've already made progress in that direction!
Doomed, I think everyone has their childhood demons - I am not special. One of my greatest fears is that I'll make the same mistakes with my son and it terrifies me when I feel that familiar path.
Turn, and my Sunday Secrets help me to let go of the things I felt, but didn't dare verbalize.
Nolens Volens, knowing what was going on was sometimes a mixed blessing!
Karen, there is much truth in that.
Slick, I am proud of how far I've come and look forward to making it even farther as time goes on!
Boo, I think that being in an environment where it is finally safe to say the things I thought for so many years has gone a long way in making me whole.
Average Chick, it's always been a goal of mine to minimize the sadness my son feels. I can't - and shouldn't eliminate it, but I can't/shouldn't revel in it either.
Liquid, thank you!
SS, that's usually all you ever have on my Sunday Secrets *wink*
Corky, yes there are ...
what didn't kill you...has made you ever stronger....
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