21 October 2008

TMI Tuesday #157

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TMI Tuesday

1. Have you ever felt guilty or ashamed after a sexual experience?

Hmmmm ... yes and no ...

Let's start with no first. I have a bit of a ... well ... for lack of a better word, kinky side, or like I prefer to say, I am open-minded to a variety of sexual experiences. In this sense, no - I've never felt guilty or ashamed of anything I did, however I have wondered just how "normal" I was (you know me - always got the "normal" meter out)!

Now, for the yes. I have been involved in sexual infidelity in the past, and yes, there was guilt and shame - not for the infidelity itself, but rather for the deceit.

2. Did you ever own a fake ID?

No - never. Hell, I was 6' tall by the time I was 12. When I was 16 I was able to walk in a liquor store and buy alcohol. There was no need for a fake ID.

3. How often do you tell white lies? Is it with or without thinking?

White lies? Not so often. But there are times when I give partial information - you know, those lies you claim aren't lies, because you aren't giving false information, you're just leaving out critical information? Yeah ... you still feel like crap afterward ...

It's something I am working on, but there is a safety component here that has to be considered. I'm not justifying, just being honest.

4. On a scale of 1-10, how well do you receive constructive criticism?

It depends on who is giving it and the motivation behind it. True constructive criticism? I'd say I'm about a 9.5. There is always just a twinge of remorse for not meeting expectations (which I think is a good thing).

Then there is the downright nastiness veiled as constructive criticism. You know the type ... the ones who tell you they are just saying these things "... for your own good" when in reality, there is some other personal motivation at work? I take that at about a -4 ... even if there is merit in what they say.

5. Have you ever shaved your pubic hair?

Of course! The real question is will I ever find that special person to fulfill my fantasy to have someone else shave it for me (refer back to question #1 if you are confused here)?

Bonus: What percentage of women do you think are capable of handling being in a "friends with benefits" relationship? How about men?

You know, this is a tough question. What did someone tell me recently? Men give up love (attention) in exchange for sex and women give up sex in exchange for love (attention). I think this is really dependent upon the situation and the people involved. I've know many a person who has entered in to this type of arrangement only to develop feelings at a later time. I've also known a handful of men - and women - who are so completely detached from people that sex is nothing more than intimately shaking hands.

In other words, I don't know!

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37 comments:

Schmoop said...

I gladly give up love for a thick, greasy cheeseburger. But that's just me. Cheers!!

Adam Apple said...

I think I need to talk to you about #5. It would be fulfilling a fantasy for both of us.
#1 was well answered about thedifference between the act of infidelity and the deceit. I tend to think the same way on that one.

Happy TMI!

Anonymous said...

I think I share that same fantasy as long as that person was trustworthy! LOL

Great answer on the last one.

Nicey said...

Dana,

Number 1 hits the spot for me, like you I have done most things on the sexual side.. and you know how I fight with the whole whats normal thing. Everyone has a naughty / kinky side its just finding it ; )

Real Live Lesbian said...

I wish I'd known you when *I* was 16! LOL I was getting into bars, but no luck in the liquor stores!

Dana said...

Matt-Man, and here I thought SPAM was the way to your heart ... or is it SPAM is the way to your sex??

Adam, Whew! That means my "normal" meter isn't way off *wink*

FF, well dang! That's three now. I knew I was "normal"!!

Dana said...

Nicey, odd ... my problem hasn't been in finding the kinky side, it's been in hiding it!

RLL, see how you are? I'd be a friend for booze!

Greg and Sheryl said...

The more we find out about you, the more we like you. We didn't realize you were so tall!

Anonymous said...

I wish I was tall... Happy Tuesday!

Karen said...

I have a few incidents that could fit into #1. And ALL have come as a result of alcohol. I think there is a lesson there.

Knight said...

Number 5 made me shudder a little. I just keep thinking of someone else giving me razor burn. That shit hurts!

Vixen said...

Good answer to #4. Well said.

HappyTMI chickie xo

Dana said...

G & S, and today I am wearing 2" heels, so I'm towering over most everyone I come in contact with!

jGrrl, it's a mixed blessing. I'm not one of those waif, model types so often my size is interpreted as "intimidating" and can put people off, but I still wouldn't change it!

Karen, now see? I don't remember those alcohol induced moments so they don't count!

Jill said...

Haven't been by in ages... (nose in corner) Missed your honestly and open nature!

I'm considering opening up a secret website just for these TMI posts. Great answers!

Jay said...

I always feel guilty, cheap, used and ashamed after a sexual experience. Does that make me weird? LOL ;-)

Yesterday's Lineage said...

Ain't nothing like being shaved by a Man.... Whew!...

However ifn' you have to deal with the guilt.. better leave that alone...

Happy Tuesday!
~c

Jormengrund said...

Dana:

Great info!

I'll have to make a note of that shaving fantasy! *wink, wink*

Anyway, it's great to see someone of a like mentality out there. It lets you feel like someone else kind of understands what makes you tick!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

katherine. said...

"normal" is really just about the company you keep...

on the bonus... I think the real difficult gig is to be very close friends in frequent contact...and have it not become beneficial...

Dana said...

Knight, I don't have that pain for pleasure aversion - a little razor burn is a small price to pay for a fantasy fulfilled *wink*

Vixen, those "For your own good" people irritate the crap out of me - even when it is for my own good!

Random, welcome back!! Good to see you again!!

Dana said...

Jay, that's a rhetorical question, right? Actually, I think it's just that you aren't having sex with the right people *wink*

~c, I think I could have a little shaving action sans guilt - at least I'd like to try!

Jormengrund, you are actually admitting - publicly - that you and I are like minded? You are a glutton for punishment, aren't you?

Big Kahuna said...

Hey Dana,

I so relate to every answer you have.
#1 - your answer so much relates to mine, but now being in a healthy relationship I have forgiven myself for my past

#3 - Safety is a big issue that many times requires us to only partially disclose info

#5 - I laughed when I read your comment at our blog on this. I have never shaved babushka but she badly wanted to shave me (one of her fantasies). I admit it was a little nerve-racking for both of us but she was so happy when she was done it was well worth it.

Great answers D!!

nudeman40 said...

I would LOVE to shave you. Would even let you shave me..
maybe we can do it on cam together??

Ms. Inconspicuous said...

I've *always* wanted to try the co-shaving thing. I haven't gotten to yet, but it seems incredibly intimate.

Sex as intimately shaking hands? I could see that, but you don't wear gloves when shaking hands. ;)

Bunny said...

Ah yes . . . it's been years since someone else did the shaving for me and I think it's time again! Unfortunately my spouse wouldn't even consider it :(

Happy TMI!

behindcloseddoors said...

Really diggin' this TMI. I'm off to do my own. Nice blog. ;)

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

I have never been asked to shave...I think I would be a little nervous the first time...but I am willing to try...

Deech said...

Good TMI Questions and answers today Dana. Insightful...very insightful.

Dana said...

Kat, I just knew I had been keeping company with the wrong people!

Kahuna, you and I have led somewhat parallel lives - you are just a step or two ahead of me!

nudeman40, nope! Webcam won't cut it! I want this fantasy in real life.

Dana said...

Ms. I, my guess is that you'll have the opportunity before I do, but at least I know (I think?) you'll share!

Bunny, I can only imagine the look on husband's face if I even asked him to get in the tub with me, let alone actually shave me!

Behind, thanks for stopping by! Please visit again some time!

Dana said...

Bond, having an open mind and a willing heart is always a good thing!

Flyinfox, uh-oh ... don't want to give too much insight! *wink*

As American as Apple Pie said...

1. Never--well, maybe once.

2. Nope--I was a "good" girl.

3. I share your interpretation on this.

4. 6 or 7--I tend to think I'm always right.

5. Weekly, at a minimum. I don't want to shave anyone or have them shave me. Too scared of cuts.

Bonus: It's a hard row to hoe.

- said...

Your #3. Me too. Guilty as charged. Lying by ommission. ;(

And I hope you get your #5 fantasy fulfilled sooner than later ;)

*smiles*

Happy TMI Dana~

Christo Gonzales said...

did you ever consider that you are a liar in general...you should read your old posts...oh wait ...you cannot handle criticism because people have 'their own agendas'

you should write a book.....LOL *wink*

Dana said...

Apple, you tend to think you are always right?? Even when you are wrong? *wink*

I smile, I think there are many who lie through omission.

DB, show me someone who claims to be 100% honest all of the time, and I'll show you a liar. Calling someone a liar in no way falls under the constructive criticism umbrella, but it is an indicator of your continued interest in something that clearly irritates you ... odd agenda.

buffalodick said...

Example of how I handle these things... It is 100% true why I couldn't answer these questions on a blog- I'd have to lie... :)

Brian Gardes said...

Dana, I have a sharp razor and plenty of practice shaving. Just stop on by!

And, as one of my rugby buddies always says, "It's only kinky the first time!"

Biscuit said...

I am incapable of having sex with a man I don't have some kind of feelings for, even if those feelings were just a strong like :) I cannot be detached.

Now a girl, that would be all about lust, so I could remain detached very easily. I can't explain that. I'm just weird.