TMI Tuesday | Happy New Year Wishes 2019

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. Daily rituals. Do you have any that you will abandon in the new year? Will you begin new daily rituals? If yes, what?

I've never considered daily rituals to be something negative that need to be abandoned, so no - I have none that I will abandon. I do plan on beginning some new daily rituals although I haven't decided what they will look like. In doing much self-reflection over the past few months I've come to the realization that I need more structure and accountability than I've been living the last few years.

2. What significant relationship improved the most?

My first thought was to say that the relationship with my mom is the most significant relationship that improved the most, but then had a realization. Although my relationship with my mom has improved over the past year, it's my relationship with myself that has improved the most, and I'm not sure there is any more significant relationship than the one you have with yourself.

3. What relationship in your life deteriorated?

There have, unfortunately, been a few that have deteriorated

• The relationship with my step brother, although I was really trying to force that one and should have written it off before it ever started. I created that problem

• The relationship with [REDACTED] because I finally stood up to him and did not cower when he demanded that I do a certain thing and I "outed" him on a public forum. If there is one thing narcissists hate, it's being pointed out to those they are trying to manipulate. The reason the name is [REDACTED]? Because I was told, "My name is not a dick so keep it out of your mouth!" Yeah ... classy

• The relationship with my son. Honestly? This one is on me and stems from my parenting from a standpoint of guilt. This deterioration began when son was 7 and has just gotten worse over the years. I'm not sure how to fix this and that makes me sad

4. What do you wish you had done more of in 2018? How do you plan on doing more of that in 2019?

This one is easy - SELF CARE!!! And how am I planning on doing more of that in 2019? It goes back to my answer in question one. I truly need structure and accountability and I need to hold myself accountable for my self care

5. What important person in your life needs more of your time? Will you give it?

This is starting to sound like ME!ME!ME!, but you know what? I've NEVER made myself a priority - I've always given that designation to others. I need more of my time and I am going to do my best to give that to myself!

Bonus: How can you redesign your evenings to bring more restful “you” time to the end of your day?

This, too, goes back to question one and identifying rituals that push me to grow, yet are attainable. I'm working on that list now!

TMI Tuesday | Happy Holiday Season!

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. Are you celebrating or have you celebrated any holidays this December 2018?

I have not - and will not - celebrate and holidays this December 2018. Cam is in Utah spending the holiday with his girl friend's family so there really isn't anyone to celebrate with/for. We did all go to a steakhouse dinner (me, my mom, Cam, and his girlfriend) before the kids left, but it wasn't like a Christmas. 

2. Describe your typical holiday celebration.

That's kind of funny right there! I haven't had a "typical" holiday celebration since I was probably 16? That's 38-years ago for anyone counting. I have spent the holidays in so many different situations - nothing is typical and seldom s there an actual celebration.

3. Now tell us how you really would like to spend your holiday season.

I'd like to spend my holiday season not alone. Maybe with an actual tree in the house with wrapped gifts under it. Maybe even a stocking filled with goofy little things. Just not alone.

4. This time of year broadcast TV is filled with Christmas movies. What is your favorite Christmas movie?

I actually watched my favorite Christmas movie yesterday - National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. I also watched Polar Express for the first time ever. I don't know ... sappy holiday movies make me feel ickier when I'm spending the holiday alone, so I tend to stay with the silly ones.

5. Does your place of work do a gift exchange or secret santa? Do you participate? What gift did you buy to giveaway this year? What gift did you get?

One of the downsides to working exclusively remotely is that there aren't any holiday work parties - not work potlucks - no Secret Santa.

Bonus: Have you been naughty or nice?

Naughty ... always naughty ... but in the nicest way! 😈

TMI Tuesday | On the Road Again

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. Tell us about the last road trip you made: When? Where did you go? How long was the overall trip? Did you go alone? Did you have fun?

I love road trips! I've done several in my lifetime including a few coast-to-coast trips. When I read this question it got me thinking that it's been a LONG time since I took a road trip.

Now, understand that I define road trip as a trip via vehicle that requires an overnight stay. The last time I did that? Was when Mike and I moved to Vegas. That's been a while and not a memory that I want to hold on to.

Son and I did a day trip to Valley of Fire (which was pretty cool) but I may need to do a solo road trip. The Mother Road (Route 66) would be fun. I can pick it up not far from here and take it either east or west ... or both. Hmmmm ... it might be time to plan a road trip!

2. Do you love to travel?

I do love to travel, and primarily by car where I can actually see where I'm going and where I've been. The best way to be a better, more compassionate person is through travel.

3. What’s the best place you’ve been? Do you want to go back?

I don't know that I've found the "best place". I've been a lot of places - here in the U.S. as well as outside the U.S. (thank you U.S. Army). Every place I go is a GREAT place, even if it's just down the road.

4. Would you travel for sex? Have you traveled more than 50 miles just to have sex?

Of course I would travel for sex, and yes! I have traveled more than 50 miles just to have sex. Now, I did have some sexual history with this (these) person/people, so I knew it was worth traveling for. I don't know that I would travel more than 50-60 miles for unknown sex.

5. What sexual act or sex position do you struggle with doing?

Honestly? I don't know that there is a sexual act or sex position that I struggle with doing ... at least I haven't found one yet. Anyone want to challenge me??

Bonus: What are you into but have not told anyone?

I'm going to presume this question is referencing sex, because ... well? Because!

There is absolutely nothing sexual that I am into that SOMEONE doesn't know about. Are there things that not everyone knows about? Absolutely!! And it's probably best that way. Those things are shared only with those that I know I can trust - who will not judge me even if they think I might be way out there. It's a trust thing, and I don't trust a lot of people, but the ones that I do trust? They get ALL of me!

TMI Tuesday | What has TMI Tuesday done for you?

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. What’s the future of dating?

For me personally? Or in general?

For me personally I have no friggin' clue. I just keep hoping to magically bump into someone who actually has interest in dating me, which truly is a pipe dream because I don't get out much. I'd have to find someone at the market or my mailbox, because those are really the only two places I go. I'm not actively seeking a relationship, but would certainly be open to one at this point.

Generally? I think online apps really are the future for the young 'uns. It just gives a person access to far more people than they would bump into, and that can't be a bad thing. 

2. Do you usually wake up with an erection?

Ummmm ... being that I don't have a penis? I can honestly say that no - I've never awoken with an erection.

3. What is your most bizarre talent?

I am a very visual learner. If I packed something up in a box 5 years ago, and someone says to me, "What ever happened to the [FILL IN THE BLANK]?" I will be able to pull the item from wherever the random place it is located within 10 minutes.

4. Do you prefer the people in your life to be simple or complex?

I prefer the people in my life to be complex thinkers with simple (i.e. straight forward) personalities.

5. Are you simple or complex?

I am a complex thinker with simple (i.e. straight forward) personality.

Bonus: Tell us a riddle.

Question: What loses its head in the morning and gets it back at night?

-

-

-

-

-

A pillow  

TMI Tuesday | Why is eating bad food, like having bad sex?

*For the record? I'd rather have bad food than bad sex*

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. Do you like tattoos? Do you have any tattoos?

I have a tattoo addiction, and I really enjoy them on other people as well. For most of us who express ourselves through art on our bodies, there is a story being each one and I love seeing people's stories

Do I have any? Maybe one or two ... and this isn't all of them ... 

  

2. How did you pick your online profile name?

I have a few places I hang out on the internet, and I wasn't smart enough to "brand" myself in the early days, so I have several online profile names

• Amid Life's Crises (here)
• StillTied2TheTracks (tumblr)
• Dana_Lu (twitter)
• Dana_LuLu (some other places)

Anything Dana Lu-ish is based on my first and middle names. Amid Life's Crises was a play on words and appropriate when I started this blog. StillTied2TheTracks (and the original "TiedToTheTracks) are my embracing two old blogger trolls who used to tell be I was a train wreck.

3. What’s one saying you try to live by?

I really don't have one other than "Treat others as you would want them to treat you." 

4. What was the last bad meal you ate? Why was it so awful?

My mom and I go to a local bar once a week. The last time I was there I ordered a burger that tasted "off". I ate about 1/2 of it, brought the leftovers home, and son ate the other half. Withing 12 hours he was puking his guts out. I'm fairly certain it was the burger - fortunately I did not suffer the same fate!

5. When was your last bad sexual encounter? Why was it so awful?

Bad sex is bad ...

Let's see ... the last time I had bad sex was the last time I visited one of the swingers clubs here in Vegas. I made the trip expecting one thing, and when that fell through I settled for something else *NOTE TO SELF* Don't settle when it comes to sex Anyway, let's just say it was EXTREMELY clear that he was out for his pleasure and didn't give a damn about mine.

I'm too old for bad sex.

Bonus: Tell us something random

Did you know that the acronym RSVP comes from the French saying, "répondez s'il vous plaît"? Now you do!

TMI Tuesday | Too Much Information Running Through Your Brain

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. If you had three wishes that would come true, what would they be?

YIKES! This is a lot of pressure

(1) That my son will find the peace and love that he deserves

(2)  That I die before my son does

(3) That I don't die alone 

2. What are your favorite things to spend money on?

I do NOT like to spend money on anything! I am a saver. That said? If I have "extra" money? Tattoos are always my go to!

3. If you could write a song about your life, what type of music would you use?

Hip-Hop ... go big or go home!

4. If you could choose your partner again, would you choose the same person?

Well, as most of you know, my partner chose someone else while still in a relationship with me. NOPE!!! Not a chance in hell that I would choose the same person again.

5. When it comes to discussing your sex life, who do you confide in more than anyone else?

Sex life?? WAIT!!! My sex life is in my own hands at this point (pun intended) ... and I only talk to myself about work.

Bonus: What’s your definition of cheating? Is there really such a thing?

Here is my (probably uncommon) opinion on cheating. It only becomes cheating if you hide it. Look, I'm well aware that as humans we are not predisposed to monogamy. There is this whole MUST SPREAD THE SEED thing that is so ingrained in our genetics.

 As odd as this might sound, I'm not worried about my partner having sex with someone else - I am worried about my partner being INTIMATE with someone else

TMI Tuesday | Connect

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. How do you and your loved one connect?

I don't know why, but I find this question quite odd. My loved one? Are we talking significant other? Don't have one. Are we talking children? Text. Are we talking family members? Text. Are we talking the dead? Theresa Caputo.

2. When did you last make a mistake and were okay with that mistake?

I make mistakes regularly - some small - some big. I am never okay with the mistakes I make because I believe being okay with mistakes breeds complacency. I try to figure out what caused the mistake and avoid making the same mistake again.

3. What are you just not seeing?

I am not seeing what my life will look like in 10 years - I lost that vision about 18 months ago and I've not taken the time to figure out what my next vision should be. I need to get on that. Life has just been a series of reacting and existing, which isn't fulfilling at all.

4. If you could spend ten minutes with your hero alive or dead what would you ask them?

My hero has Genoa salami, prosciutto, mozzarella, and tomatoes on crusty bread. Wait ... this question isn't about food?

5. Who in your life do you wish you’d met sooner?

Hmmmm ... this is kind of one of those "If you could change any one thing" questions, and y'all know how I feel about those. I believe that people come into your life exactly when they should. I wouldn't want to mess with the flying spaghetti monster and universe.

Bonus: Have you ever won a medal for a sports activity? What sexual activity are you sure to win the gold?

I have never won a medal per se, but I have won several ribbons and trophies for sports over the years.

The sexual activity that I would win a gold medal in? Let's go with teasing - it's one of my favorite things to do - the strategic touch, random sext message, the build up of anticipation for what is going to happen next.

*SIDE NOTE* Don't google "sexual activity gold" ... just don't! 

TMI Tuesday | Deja vu

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

*NOTE* According to the TMI Tuesday Blog, these questions were originally posted November 18, 2014 *looks back through my blog archives* 
Nope! Didn't play that day!

1. When I can’t sleep I masturbate? Binge watch something on Netflix? Depends on my mood!

2. My dream bedroom would be full of sex! It's been a while ...

3. If I could wake up anywhere tomorrow it would be anywhere that I could smell the ocean and hear the waves.

4. I need to do anything possible to shut my brain off at night.

5. Waking up as a man would truly be a nightmare. (I couldn't think of anything truly nightmarish)

6. Night time is the right time to do any damn thing you want to do!

Bonus: Briefly tell us about your last dream–erotic or not.

Goodness ... I am a regular and VIVID dreamer. I cannot tell you what my last dream was, however I woke myself up talking in my sleep. I also had a dream recently that someone was forcing me out of bed and, sure enough, I fell out of bed (and wound up with a nasty bruise on my arm).

TMI Tuesday | Sexiness

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. What type of clothes make you feel sexy?

a. a specially selected casual outfit

b. lingerie or silky pajamas

c. elegant, dressy evening clothes

d. anything that leaves me almost naked

I like hidden sexy - like lingerie under very non-sexy outfit - and knowing that there is so much more to me than people see. 

2. Which do you prefer?

a. pillow talk

b. sexy texting

c. love notes

Is YES an acceptable answer? I think all of these are wonderful to receive and to give!

3. Which do you do best?

a. pillow talk

b. sexting

c. writing love notes

I so enjoy writing - expressing my feelings through words - especially when I put ink to paper. Although sexting offers an opportunity to express myself in words (or photos) there's just something about the personalization that manual writing offers.

4. You been granted just ONE of the following in your favorite city/place in the world. Which would you choose and why?

a. 24 hours of romance

b. 24 hours of lust (intense, overwhelming sexual desire but not acted upon mixed with enthusiasm for life)

c. 24 hours of sex

This was not an easy question to answer ... I mean my life has been significantly lacking in all three of these things. That said? I haven't often been romanced in my life. It would be pretty amazing to have 24-hours of memories of being romanced.

5. How do you tap into your sexiness?

Sexiness, for me, is not all physical (thank goodness or I'd have none of the sexy). I think cooking a special meal for someone is sexy (especially if your wearing only an apron). I think sticking an I <3 U post-it-note on your partners car windshield is sexy. I think giving a small, meaningful, unexpected gift is sexy. These are the ways I tap into my sexiness.

Bonus: Which is better–your digital sex life or your in-the-flesh sex life?

I so wish I could say that my in-the-flesh sex life was better, however I'm going to have to go with my digital sex life. Now mind you, I would definitely prefer the physical, but the digital? It can be pretty good too!

TMI Tuesday | Sexy Time

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. What is sexy time to you?

Is this a trick question? Any time is sexy time if all parties involved are in agreement, right?

2. Who’s sexier–women or men?

I don't think sexy has a gender preference. I've met people all over the gender /gender identity spectrum that were sexy. It's not something exclusive to men or women.

3. How did you learn to masturbate, and how old were you when you first succeeded?

I am not sure I've ever told this story. Let me just preface this by saying that I have always been a very sexual person ... from a very early age. I was never afraid/embarrassed to explore my body.

When I was 10? Maybe 11? I was home alone, looking for something in my mom's closet. I saw a book on the top shelf of the closet and thought that it was a weird place for a book, so I pulled it off the closet shelf. It was a book titled Female to Female Sex Techniques. Not only was it instructional, but it had PHOTOS. Imagine my surprise. At that point in my life, I knew that men and women had sex (I had even listened to my parents have sex), but I had no idea that women had sex with other women.

So I'm looking at the book and getting very sexually stimulated, not knowing that was what was happening.

In several of the photos, one of the women was using a cordless vibrator very similar to this one on another woman.

 

At this point in my life, I had already explored putting items (fingers, crayons, etc.) in my pussy, but just new it felt good. It never generated an orgasm. Seeing a woman using this on another woman? I had no idea there were such tools.

After ogling and reading the book for quite some time, I decided I had better put it back on the shelf and explore it another time (I was a "latchkey" kid - I had TONS of available time alone). As I was putting the book back on the shelf, I discovered that my mom also had the very same cordless vibrator I had seen in the book.

Well now ... I had just acquired the knowledge of what the cordless vibrator was really for and had a very good idea of idea of what to do with it, so I did just that. I had no idea what an orgasm was, but I learned that day, and it both excited me and terrified me at the same time.

The next day? I did it again ... and again ... and again. So yes, I've been masturbating/having orgasms for 44 years *GASP* and I learned what to do from a book. It just kept getting better after that.

4. Do you like taking naked photos of yourself?

I like taking naked photos of parts of my body - specifically my breasts as I feel they are the only part of my naked body that is the least bit sexually attractive. I've been known to take naked photos/videos of other parts of my body, however I always do that very apprehensively.

5. What is your biggest sexual fear?

I have very few sexual boundaries, and many "non-standard" sexual things/activities that turn me on. *NOTE* Nothing illegal - just high on the kink scale. I am always fearful of engaging with a new sexual partner and sharing those thoughts with them. It's a very vulnerable situation, and one that has resulted in the end of more than one relationship as the other person was "bothered" by my kink.

Bonus: To you, what does the ideal penis look like? (feel free to include artwork or photos).

I've never met a penis I didn't like as long as the owner of that penis knew what they were doing with said penis. I've had long penises, short penises, thick penises, thin penises, curved penises, straight penises, circumcised penises and uncircumcised penises. None of them were any better looking than the others - they were all just different.

TMI Tuesday | 3's

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. ​You can only keep 3 things: (pick and explain your choices)

Coffee
Jewelry
Books
Chocolate
Wine or Beer
Netflix
Tacos

I think I'm going to need coffee (or I'll be unbearable the rest of my life), books (hello??? What would life be without books?), and tacos, because man (woman) cannot live on coffee and books alone!

2. If your job gave you a surprise 3-day paid break, what would you do with those three days?

In a perfect world, or in my work reality world? In a perfect world, I'd drive to San Diego and spend three days in a beach house, without my phone or my laptop. I my work reality world, I'd drive to San Diego and spend three days in a beach house with my phone and my laptop so that I wasn't three days behind when I got back to work (I am the accounting department - if I'm off from work the only thing that happens is that I get behind).

3. Have you ever had a threesome? What was the configuration?

Well now, that's an interesting question. YES! I have been (many times) in both MMF and the FFM configurations.

4. In a threesome, do you like to be the star attraction or a bit player/personal  assistant?

I certainly like to be actively involved, but I prefer to be the giver of pleasure rather than the receiver of pleasure. My pleasure comes from pleasing others, even when it comes to sex.

5. Would you have another threesome?

ABSOLUTELY!! Look, I've had a couple of bad threesome experiences, but overall they've been very good. I've found that the best threesomes start out as friendships so there is that trust and chemistry ahead of time.

Bonus: Rate your last  threesome on a scale of 1-5, 5 being fantastic.

My last threesome was at Red Rooster and was a solid 1.5. I went with my "lifestyle boyfriend" (who has now lost that title), and we hooked up with another female. She was reluctant, but allowed herself to be talked into it (not by me - by him). She shouldn't have. Within a few minutes of the encounter it was clear that she was not into it ... and she smelled funny. Funny/odd smells are a HUGE turnoff for me.

Now, after that, I was back at Red Rooster by myself for what I hoped would be the pinnacle of what I want in a threesome. Without going into details (to protect the innocent), it didn't work out the way that I and number 2 of the threesome hoped it would *shrugs* Maybe some other time.

Extra Credit Bonus: How to Enjoy a Threesome

TMI Tuesday | Tell it to us straight or sexy…

(via TMITuesday Blog)

1. One thing that you will never do again?

One thing (there are many) that I will never do again is be a size 8. It just wasn't meant to be!

2. Who knows you the best?

Honestly? I think I know myself better than anyone else knows me. When I try to think of others who might be a close second? Probably those of you who have been reading this blog for years. You know my secrets, my struggles, my achievements. I can't think of anyone IRL who knows those things.

3. Do you think a relationship should be 50/50 all the time?

Oh hell no! And expecting it to be is a recipe for disaster. Look, we all have ups and downs and seldom are they at the same time as our partner. I believe what really makes a relationship work is to step up to the plate when you need to, and communicate to your partner when you need them to.

4. When was your most recent act of kindness? Was it appreciated?

I would have to say that my most recent act of kindness was allowing my son and his girlfriend to move in with me. Did they appreciate it? Absolutely, and the environment in my home is far different (BETTER) than it was when Cam left in March.

Secondarily? I'm putting the two of them in a hotel on the strip tonight so they don't have to get up at  6 AM tomorrow when the new A/C unit is being installed. And again, they appreciated it! 

5. Are you a good friend? Why or why not?

Well? Let me put it this way ... I am a LOYAL friend. I am a CARING friend. I am a COMPASSIONATE friend. That said, if you are looking for the type of friend who you talk to/see twice a week, the type of friend who always keeps in touch, the type of friend who tells you what you want to hear instead of what they honestly believe? You might want to pass on me, and I'm good with that!

6. What is something that you tried really hard to like but just couldn’t?

Ummmmm ... I usually don't try really hard to like something that I don't like. I prefer to move on!

Bonus: How was your month of July? Did you do anything fun, interesting, new?

Ohhhhh July ....

Let's see ... I turned 54, which is better than not turning 54. I had my son and his girlfriend move in with me. I've had limited A/C (like my house was between 88-90 degrees with the A/C set at 74 degrees). I'm about to get this Taco Tuesday $50 tattoo (designed by one of the artists' daughter) and eat free street tacos while waiting.

I took a DISASTROUS vacation by myself that resulted in the end of an 11-year friendship. July was pretty eventful ... it usually is.

TMI Tuesday | Hard Life

(via TMI Tuesday blog)

1. What do you need to learn but won’t admit to?

You know? I need to learn a lot of things - none of which I'm afraid to admit to. Right now I think self-acceptance/self-love is at the top of my "Need to learn" list, but I'm in NO WAY afraid to admit that.

2. If you could erase one event from your life, which one would you choose? Briefly describe the event, tell us why you would erase it.

I don't know ... I hate these questions! I've has some really difficult events in my life - my father holding a shot-gun to my head and telling me to obey or he would blow my head off, my 23-year old husband committing suicide, the failure of two marriages. But I'm not a believer in "My life would be better had it not been for [FILL IN THE BLANK]" I just can't with these questions.

3. Who drains your energy, and why do you let it happen?

There are two people who drain my energy right now - my mom, and my boss. And I let it happen because ... my mom and my boss ...

4. Do your practice ‘self-love’ or ‘self-loathing’?

I would so like to tell y'all that I practice "self-love," but we all know better - self-loathing is far more comfortable for me.

5. What must you do daily to keep yourself ‘sane’?

What do I need to do daily to keep myself sane (and alive)? Take my anti-depressants.

Bonus:  Who do you blame?

I blame myself ... always. I've been blaming myself since I was 5-years old. Pretty sure that will never change.

TMI Tuesday | It could happen…

(Via TMI Tuesday Blog and the missing word in this photo is on them, not me)

1. If each of your index fingers could spew a liquid for the rest of your life, what liquid(s) would it be?

*tries to think of something "cute"* Let's be honest - vodka (specifically Grey Goose) and orange soda, because nothing says classy quite like a high end vodka and orange soda!

2. If you could talk to everyone in the world for 5 minutes, all at once, what would you say?

I'm not sure that I could talk to everyone in the world for 5 whole minutes, but if I had their ears? I'd say ... "Love each other. Take care of those who need help. Don't judge anyone as you might someday be n their shoes".

3. Would you rather not be able to eat for a week OR not be able to _____ for a month?

Am I supposed to fill in the blank on this one? So confused. I mean if the question was, "Would you rather not be able to eat for a week OR not be able to clean toilets for a month?" I'd go with the clean toilets option. If it was, "Would you rather not be able to eat for a week OR not be able to have an orgasm for a month?" I'd be hungry ... very, VERY hungry!

4. What exhilarates you?

exhilarate - transitive verb

1 : to make cheerful and excited : enliven, elate was exhilarated by her success

2 : refresh, stimulate

 _________________________________________________

Ummm ... I've got nothing ... 

5. What is the best perk of your job? What is the best perk you have ever had at any job?

The best perk of my job is that my workplace is seven steps from my bed, and honestly? That is the best perk I've ever had at any job.

Bonus:  Just how naughty are you?

There are a handful of you reading this who know the answer to this question. There are far more of you reading this who have no idea. Let's just say that on the 1-10 naughty scale? I'm at 728 *evil grin*

TMI Tuesday|Take a Look at Me Now

(Via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. What was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still have that same worry or feel the same about it at this minute?

*CONFESSION* Thank goodness for this blog because I otherwise would have had NO IDEA what was going on 5 years ago. Once you get this old, the years just smoosh together.

Based solely on my blog posts from 2013, it looks like there were two significant life events going on (1) Trying to keep Cam at his home high school for his senior year, and (2) Starting the final process for the divorce and selling the "family" home.

Are those worries/feelings still the same? Definitely not - Cam did stay at his home high school for his senior year. It took a lot of advocating and the hiring of a special education attorney (a bill I am still paying 4 years later), but it was worth it, and husband and I were finally divorced on October 30th 2014.

2. Do you have a positive or negative body image? What factors contribute to your self body image?
a. advertisements
b. media and social media
c. comments from others
d. introspection and analysis of self

I definitely have a very negative body image, and it stems from comments made by both of my parents while I was growing up. Now, you'd think I'd just get over it, but I have never been able to quiet that internal dialog that tells me I'm not good enough - not pretty enough - not thin enough.

3. How confident are you as a person?
a. no confidence at all
b. confident around friends and family
c. confident at work, and in my job
d. very confident in my surroundings–work, social settings, with strangers

This is the closest to being accurate. I am generally confident at work and in my job, but that is because I am confident (generally) in my knowledge, experience, and intelligence. That confidence is not limited to the work environment - it encompasses much of my life.

4. How creative a person are you? Why?
a. not creative
b. average creativity
c. creative in some situations
d. very creative

I have always been very creative - in the arts and in my thinking. When I ignore my creative side, I get quite out of sorts. It's been one of the things I've revived since Mike and I split, and I've really been enjoying it.

5. Do you resent things being uncertain and unpredictable? Why?
a. agree
b. undecided or Don’t Know
c. disagree

If I'm honest with myself, I do resent things being uncertain and unpredictable. In my perfect world things would make logical sense - I would know, without a doubt, that if I did A, B would be the result. I get frustrated when that doesn't happen. Obviously I am in a constant state of frustration.

Bonus: What do you wish you had invented?

Ohhhhh ... this is an easy one! Any guesses??? POST-IT NOTES!!!! Most of you know they are my secret obsession. If you're ever really bored, you can read about the history of Post-It notes HERE.

TMI Tuesday | You

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. If you were an ice-cream flavor, what would you be and why?

I would be Unicorn Magic ice cream. Yes, that is a real thing and you can purchase it at Target. Why? Because anyone who has followed me in the past year knows the significance of the unicorn flavor. The real question is, "Would you eat me if I were Unicorn Magic ice cream?" Wait ... what??? *snicker* 

2. What are the best sexy skills you bring to a sexual relationship?

Hmmmmm ... let's go with the fact that I have very few sexual boundaries ... very few. I will try just about anything and as I've discussed before, I don't have a prefered gender, which certainly expands the sexual boundaries quite a bit more.

3. What is the single largest problem causing you angst in your romantic relationship (current or most recent relationship)?

*sigh* I think, ultimately, the root causes of many of the problems Mike and I had were Mike's odd work schedule and my working from home. These two things impacted our communication, our intimacy, our time spent together, our finances - just about every aspect of our relationship. That said, I would bet Mike would tell you a very different story ...

4. What is the best part about being in a relationship with you?

There are lots of good parts to being in a relationship with me, right?? RIGHT??? Top three (in no particular order)? (1) I honor my partners' privacy. I'm not going to open your mail, demand your phone password, go through your personal space ... unless you give me a really good reason to. (2) I am independent financially. Although I do expect an equitable split of/for expenses, you won't have to be responsible for all of them. (3) See the answer to question number 2 *BIG GRIN*

5. What is the biggest misconception that people have about you?

If I had to guess - based solely on feedback I've gotten through the years - I'd say that I am intimidating/unapproachable and unemotional. Neither of these are true ... at all ...

Bonus:  When you look at old photos of yourself, do you like what you see?

Yeah ... ummmmm ... NOOOOO! There have been a few short periods of time when I felt I was physically acceptable, but for ... I don't know ... probably 49 of my 53 years? I've felt physically unacceptable and have done everything I could to not be in photos and not look into mirrors. 

TMI Tuesday | What kind of person are you?

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. Are you addicted to any social media (twitter, instagram, snapchat, etc.)?

Addicted? Like can't go without visiting [insert your favorite social media platform] for a few days? No! Definitely not, however I do enjoy the connection I feel/get from the internet. I do visit tumblr, twitter, my blog, Kik, and *GASP* Facebook regularly, but I would be (and have been) just fine going "cold turkey" for a few days.

2. You know a secret about someone. What do you do with that information?
a. I keep it to myself
b. I tell my best friend
c. I wait until they hurt me and use it as ammunition
d. I tell everyone I can, I don’t mean to, I just cannot keep a secret

If you need to get a secret off your chest - you need to share it with someone or you'll explode and you want to ensure that no one will ever learn your secret? I am your girl!! I share my own secrets freely. I do not share the secrets of others!

3. You see someone breaking the rules at work, what do you do?
a. Pretend not to see what is going on
b. Inform upper management
c. Advise the co-worker that their actions are frowned upon and can lead to job loss
d. Tell everyone else in the office what you saw

I'm not thrilled with this answer - I wouldn't pretend I wasn't seeing it, but I'm not the work police. It's not my job to be a tattle tale. You want to break the rules at work? Go right on ahead - the risk is yours!

4. A friend has a new hairstyle that is un-becoming, and not really age-appropriate on them. They ask you how they look. What is your reply?
a. You look just fine.
b. You look much better this way.
c. OMG, you look a bit ridiculous.
d. *Silence*

*crickets* And I would really hope they didn't ask me because I don't lie well.

5. How helpful are you at home?
a. I come home and immediately veg out on the couch/bed.
b. I cook and clean a few times a week.
c. I am extremely helpful.
d. I do what I am asked and nothing more.

I am the help at home. I do what needs to be done when it needs to be done (usually) because my knight in shining armour hasn't found me yet.

Bonus: In your opinion, what is the best city in the world? Why?

I just can't with this question. I've lived in MANY cities - west coast - east coast - north - south - out of the country. Nowhere has been perfect, but I can certainly tell you many positive things about every city I've lived in. I don't believe there is a "perfect" city - I believe it is an individual's responsibility to make the city as "perfect" as possible.

TMI Tuesday | It’s just a fantasy

This TMI Tuesday was touted as "A very fun blast from TMI Tuesday past–May 29, 2012." I thought it would be kind of cool had I participated in 2012 and could compare answers, but no ... DAMMIT!

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. If your lover was turned on by forced feminization (the practice of enforcing activities on a male, which are typically associated with women, to make him submissive. For example: wearing lingerie, heels, make-up) would you participate?

Here's the deal ... although people assume (based primarily on my 6' tall. linebacker stature) that I would be dominant in sexual relationships, I actually lean way past center on the submissive side. That said, if this was an important fantasy to my significant other? I would absolutely participate! And who knows ... I might enjoy it! *shrugs*

2. When you have sexual dreams or fantasies that are aggressive or cruel, does it worry you?

I don't think I've ever had a sex dream/fantasy that was cruel - aggressive? Yes! But cruel? No ... Do my aggressive sex dreams/fantasies worry me? Not at all. In fact, I find them quite the turn-on.

3. Tell us your hottest, sexiest fantasy, right now, in 100 words or less. 

This is the fantasy about your desires that you probably never share, maybe they even go against your morals or are societal taboos.

Are you sure you want to hear this answer? You can scroll on by if this is more information than you want to know about me. Let's do this - I'll post a link if you want the definition rather than explaining it. My hottest/sexiest fantasy right now is to be a cuckquean, not in the traditional sense (at this point it's highly unlikely I'll do the husband thing again), but certainly with a significant other/someone important to me. We'll leave it at that. If you want to know more you can click on the (NSFW) link.

4. Which super hero would you like to have sex with? Why?

a. Aquaman

b. Superman

c. Wonder Woman

d. She-Ra

Really? You are going to make me choose between Wonder Woman and She-Ra (Sorry Aquaman and Superman)?? I generally prefer brunettes over blondes, so I'm going to go with Wonder Woman. I mean ... Lynda Carter??? *swoon* 

5. Do you think the lure to live out sexual fantasies or have sex frequently is amplified by technology? Briefly explain.

This is an interesting question. Technology has certainly made porn and kink far more accessible *thank goodness - wait - what?* and I think has opened (some) peoples' minds to reconsidering what their definition of sexual taboos are. It has also exposed them to fantasies they may not have considered. Now, I grew up (at least my sexuality did) in the 1970s. I was exposed to *cough*sought out*cough* as much information as I could about sex. I read countless copies of Hustler and Playboy, discovered swingers publications (American Swingers, Swingers Life, etc.) and even "accidentally" came upon a book titled "How to have sex with a woman | Female to female sex techniques" during that time. That's about as old school as you can get, but boy did it fuel my fantasies and the number of times I maturbated.

Bonus: Describe your fantasy life in three (3) words.

All I've got