30 September 2018

Sunday Stealing | Identity Ask

(From Penny Royal Princess via Sunday Stealing)

1. Favorite style of clothing
First, let's set things straight - I do not have a style unless clean and not wrinkled is a style. If I could choose any style, and money was not a concern, I would mimic Danielle Colby's (from American Pickers) style and purchase most of my clothing from Pinup Girl Clothing. 
And yes, I do have a MAD girl crush on her
2. Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?
I do occasionally get "good morning" and/or "good night" texts these days, but more often than not I am the one initiating those texts. I also get an occasional "Are you awake?" text. Seems most of the people that I chat with are on either central or eastern time.
3. Have I ever kissed the last person I texted?
*looks at my phone* Nope! Definitely not, although I would. What???
4. When did I last hold hands?
Oh goodness ... it's been somewhere between 18 and 24 months. I miss holding hands. I miss being touched.
5. How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
6 out of 7 days, getting ready in the morning for me means putting on a comfy pair of shorts and a tank top and then walking the 10 steps to my desk. I'd say less than 30 seconds. If I actually have to get dressed and people? It takes about 45 minutes for me to shower, do my hair, get dressed and put on a face. I'm pretty low maintenance.
6. Have I shaved my legs in the past three days?
My legs? No. No one sees them - no one touches them - can't imagine why I'd worry too much about shaving them regularly. My armpits though are a different story!
7. Where am I right now?
Sitting at my desk in my bedroom.
8. Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
I think so? Look, I tend to be a bit reserved with people when I first start talking/chatting with them. If I am with them in real life, I watch their body language to try to determine their comfort level. If I'm chatting with someone I've never met? It's a little more difficult to "feel them out," so I usually wait for them to offer a nugget of transparency before I do.
9. How often do I wear a fake smile?
Not often, but only because I'm not required to actually interact with real people very often. I would say I wear a fake smile about 90% of the time when forced to people with the general public.
10. When was the last time I hugged someone?
Hmmmm ... not as long as it's been since I held hands. Maybe 4 months? Did I mention that I miss being touched?
11. Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?
If you had asked me this question a year ago? It would be a definite YES! Now? I think I've learned to be a bit more skeptical/cynical, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
12. What is something I disliked about today?
Well? Nothing so far, but later on I need to take my happy ass to Home Depot to get moving boxes/supplies. I am going to dislike that very much!
13. If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
Just meet? Like shake hands and take a selfie meet? No one. Meet like spend some time together and get to know each other better? There may or may not be someone out there that meets that criteria *wink*
14. What do I think about most?
Currently? I think most about moving. I don't want to move again, and once again my move was not my choice. I enjoy moving when it's my decision to move. When it's due to someone/something else? Not so much ... and not for the 3rd time in just over 2 years.
15. Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
Behind the camera ... EVERY SINGLE TIME!!
16. Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
Is no an acceptable answer? I prefer NEITHER of those communication methods, but if I was forced to choose one? Talking on the phone.
17. Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
Ghosts? Maybe? It seems odd to me that when you die all of that energy dissipates into nothing. Aliens? Not like in the Area 52 aliens, but I do think it's quite possible that there are other living beings in other universes. Maybe they find us and save us!
18. Do I believe in magic?
I believe that there are people who are really skilled at performing optical illusions!
19. Do I believe in luck?
One of my favorite sayings is, "It's better to be lucky than good." I think much of life is luck. The families we are born into. The situations we are faced with in life. Yes, there is sometimes the whole "free will" thing that plays a part, but I believe those decisions are often luck as well.
20. What's the weather like right now?
At 9:45 AM in Las Vegas?
21. What was the last book I've read? 
Ta-Nehisi Coates - Between the World and Me
I need a new book so if anyone has any suggestions feel free to leave them in the comments. I prefer non-fiction and legal thrillers. And ... GO!
22. Do I like the smell of gasoline?
Oh do I!! And permanent markers too!
23. What was the worst injury I've ever had?
The worst was a knee injury suffered during a softball game. It require micro-fracture surgery and has never been the same.
24. Do I spend money or save it?
I am a saver. If I weren't I think Las Vegas may have chewed me up and spit me out by now!
25. Can I touch my nose with my tongue?
No, but why would I want to??

27 September 2018

Me too

I’ve avoided this topic/trend - I didn’t want to come across as a victim, even though I was

I was date raped when I was 19. This is the FIRST time I’ve ever told anyone about this (*waves* Hi Internet!!) - it’s been 35 years

I went out to dinner with a guy I met at school. We actually had a good dinner date. When it was time to go home, he wouldn’t take me home, instead he took me to his apartment

I didn’t know what to do. He picked me up from my house. I had no transportation - no way to get home

It was “that time of the month” He forced himself into me even though I was using a tampon 

I stopped saying “no” when it was clear that “no” wasn’t going to be honored. I figured it would be over more quickly if I just laid there pretending it wasn’t happening

This was before cell phones - I had no access to an “out” - I eventually walked the 4 miles home at 2 AM (after he fell asleep) - I cried all the way

This was a time when it was assumed that women were in a perpetual state of consent. If a man wanted it, the woman consented. And for goodness sake - I was 6′ tall and probably 200+ lbs - how does someone my size get raped. Let's get real … no one would have believed me ... I knew that ... even then. Worse yet? I felt like I deserved it. That I dressed to provocatively - that I wasn't more forceful trying to get him to stop - that I din't drive myself. There is so much guilt ...

This thing with Brett Kavanaugh has brought up emotions I thought I had locked away 3+ decades ago

I guess I didn’t

25 September 2018

TMI Tuesday | Connect

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. How do you and your loved one connect?
I don't know why, but I find this question quite odd. My loved one? Are we talking significant other? Don't have one. Are we talking children? Text. Are we talking family members? Text. Are we talking the dead? Theresa Caputo.
2. When did you last make a mistake and were okay with that mistake?
I make mistakes regularly - some small - some big. I am never okay with the mistakes I make because I believe being okay with mistakes breeds complacency. I try to figure out what caused the mistake and avoid making the same mistake again.
3. What are you just not seeing?
I am not seeing what my life will look like in 10 years - I lost that vision about 18 months ago and I've not taken the time to figure out what my next vision should be. I need to get on that. Life has just been a series of reacting and existing, which isn't fulfilling at all.
4. If you could spend ten minutes with your hero alive or dead what would you ask them?
My hero has Genoa salami, prosciutto, mozzarella, and tomatoes on crusty bread. Wait ... this question isn't about food?
5. Who in your life do you wish you’d met sooner?
Hmmmm ... this is kind of one of those "If you could change any one thing" questions, and y'all know how I feel about those. I believe that people come into your life exactly when they should. I wouldn't want to mess with the flying spaghetti monster and universe.
Bonus: Have you ever won a medal for a sports activity? What sexual activity are you sure to win the gold?
I have never won a medal per se, but I have won several ribbons and trophies for sports over the years.
The sexual activity that I would win a gold medal in? Let's go with teasing - it's one of my favorite things to do - the strategic touch, random sext message, the build up of anticipation for what is going to happen next.
*SIDE NOTE* Don't google "sexual activity gold" ... just don't! 

16 September 2018

Sunday Stealing | 65 Questions part 1

(via Sunday Stealing)

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?
Wait ... what? I'm not sure I even understand this question. I mean, I see other people, I engage with other people, I'd say others exist. Now, if we're talking extraterrestrial? I'm fairly certain we are not the only people in the universe, and I think the others are laughing at us!
2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?
If I'm in my own home? I'm at a 1. If I'm out in a place where no one else (hopefully) is around? I'm at a 4.9997
3. The person you would never want to meet?
The person who wants to do me harm.
4. What is your favorite word?
Oh words ... I love words!! One of my all time favorites is hemidemisemiquaver.
5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?
I'd want to be a redwood, but I'm more of a weeping willow.
6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?
It's no wonder you are single ...
7. What shirt are you wearing?

8. What do you label yourself as?
Interesting question. I label myself as fat, unattractive, INTJ, and anti-social, just to name a few.
9. Bright room or dark room?
Bright room ... always the BRIGHT room!
10. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping ... very, very soundly. 
11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?
Ohhhh ... with the exception of one event (my husband's suicide) my 20's were PHENOMENAL. I'd go back there in a heartbeat!
12. Who told you they loved you last?
My mom. I don't know if she meant it, but she said it.
13. Your worst enemy?
This is an easy one ... MYSELF!
14. What is your current desktop picture?

15. Do you like someone?
I like a lot of people. Do I have a romantic interest in someone? I do, but they aren't available and I haven't expressed it, so it just stays a fantasy.
16. The last song you listened to?
Son left the radio on the country station after he took his GF to work ... What Ifs ft. Lauren Alaina (Kane Brown), and boy does that song hit me hard right now
17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
Honestly? No one - the bad ones will blow themselves up!
18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?
Oh wow, ummmm ... I'd be a much better slave than a master.
20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)
I'm 54-years old. My best physical attribute is that I'm still breathing. Secondary?

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?
Ummm ... so ... I did this quiz on Facebook recently and it said I would look like this ...

What would I do as a man? Cower in a corner for 24-hours!
22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?
I don't know if you'd call it a secret talent, but I have this visual memory thing that allows me to remember where things are even if they have been packed away for 5+ years. It's weird
23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?
I don't know if it's unique, but I'm TERRIBLY afraid of dying alone - that no one will notice.
24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.
I am not a vegetarian by any stretch, but a Jimmy John's #13 would keep me VERY happy!

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?
I want to say that I'd do something spontaneous and irresponsible, but I'd likely just pay extra on a bill.
26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?
I would like to go to Greece please. I don't know what it is about Greece (other than the ocean and the vibrant colors), but I've always wanted to go there!
27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says.
Ummmm ... I'm not sure it is an angel that would ask me this, but Ketel One Vodka please!!
28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 
Don't be an asshole
29. What is your favorite expletive?
FUCK! Fuckity FUCK!!
30. Your house is on fire. You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

This is a plaster of my son's hand when he was 15 months old. It is the one thing I'd want to keep!

11 September 2018

TMI Tuesday | Deja vu

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

*NOTE* According to the TMI Tuesday Blog, these questions were originally posted November 18, 2014 *looks back through my blog archives* 
Nope! Didn't play that day!

1. When I can’t sleep I masturbate? Binge watch something on Netflix? Depends on my mood!

2. My dream bedroom would be full of sex! It's been a while ...

3. If I could wake up anywhere tomorrow it would be anywhere that I could smell the ocean and hear the waves.

4. I need to do anything possible to shut my brain off at night.

5. Waking up as a man would truly be a nightmare. (I couldn't think of anything truly nightmarish)

6. Night time is the right time to do any damn thing you want to do!

Bonus: Briefly tell us about your last dream–erotic or not.
Goodness ... I am a regular and VIVID dreamer. I cannot tell you what my last dream was, however I woke myself up talking in my sleep. I also had a dream recently that someone was forcing me out of bed and, sure enough, I fell out of bed (and wound up with a nasty bruise on my arm).

06 September 2018

Soooo ... this happened on Facebook Tuesday

You know how they say "Never read the comments"? There is a reason for that. 

Jeff is someone I've known via the internet for 10+ years. He's not what I would call a dear friend, but he is someone who I respected (yes, past tense). I've watched his kids grow up. He's watched my son grow up. I really was taken aback by this post (which has since been edited - he deleted his KaeperDICK references, his inflammatory speech, and his reference to how this is disrespectful to Pat Tillman even though Pat Tillman's widow has spoken out otherwise). I should have just scrolled by, but I believe that complacency is a big part of the problem

Now, in all fairness, I didn't approach this the way I should have if I was looking to engage in a conversation (which really was my intent), but based on his "Whatever" comment and the post editing since Tuesday night, I'm pretty sure there wouldn't have been a discussion even if I had approached it differently.

If you are not aware of what this is all about (I know ... not everyone listens to sports radio like I do), Nike signed Colin Kaepernick to be the face of the 30th anniversary celebration of their "Just Do It" iconic motto.

Of course, social media was all (fake) OUTRAGED at the audacity of Nike. Hello? Of course nothing is more patriotic than standing during the National Anthem at a football game! You think taking a stand against social injustice is patriotic? PPPFFFFTTTTT! 

Kaepernick has been under contract with Nike since 2011 (where were all of you shoe burners then?). He's been negotiating a new, multi-year contract with Nike for several months. This isn't anything new - Kaepernick and Nike didn't just sign a deal on Tuesday - people just didn't care until they saw this photo (now my profile pic on Facebook).

Heaven forbid people dare question if they might be the one who is wrong. Self-reflection and intellectual evolution is for traitors like Kaepernick and Chip Bergh (Levi is also under fire for daring to financially support activists working to curb gun violence).

Look ... if you think Kaepernick's quiet protest of kneeling during the National Anthem is a horrific act? You likely have never seen - first hand - the social injustice that he was protesting. I get it. But maybe rather than getting stuck on kneeling during the National Anthem, you should get stuck on resolving social injustice in this country.

I mean, if you want to burn the sneakers (that Nike already has your money for) and burn the clothes (that Levi already has you money for), go ahead ... but then who is the one who is too stupid to breathe?

According to Facebook, I am.