04 November 2018

Sunday Stealing | Pop Tarts


(Stolen from Freaky PopTart via Sunday Stealing)














1. What's the coldest temp you've experienced?
I spent several winters in Minnesota and Chicago. I've experienced some FRIGID temps. I'd say the lowest air temp would be somewhere near -20 degrees F. If you add in windchill? Maybe -60 degrees F.
Nothing like living in extremes ... now I live somewhere that the warmest temp is sometimes 120 degrees F! 
2. What's for dinner tonight?
Saturdays are pizza night at my house. I'll be ordering 1 large stuffed crust Italian sausage and onion pizza, 1 large stuffed crust chicken, onion, and BBQ pizza, and an order of 12 traditional, bone in, Lemon Pepper Dry Rub wings.
Noooo ... we aren't creatures of habit here ... why do you ask?? 
3. Would you consider moving to Australia?
Sure!! I would consider moving absolutely anywhere!!
4. What was your favorite subject in high school?
Band ... with calculus running a close second ...
5. How many hours a day is your tv on?
Ohhhhh ... do you promise me y'all won't think bad about me if I'm honest?? I probably have the TV on in my home 16-18 hours a day. As bad as that sounds, the TV is on, but really as background noise unless I hear something that sounds interesting. Then I stop and take a look. In the 16-18 hours the TV is on, I probably watch no more than 3 hours.
6. Have you ever received an award?
I've received several awards, my Expert Field Medical Badge and my Soldier of the Year award being at the top of my pride list.
7. Whats your mousepad look like?

8. How many browser tabs do you have open right now?
Currently there are FOUR. Four is kind of my open browser tab limit!
9. If you are a parent, have you or did you ever put Vicks VapoRub on your children under the age of 2?
Ummmm ... probably? My son is 22 now. My guess is we weren't worried about our kids licking the Vicks VapoRub off their chests back then *shrugs*
10. As an adult, do you like the scent of Vicks VapoRub?
Yes please!! I even use a Peppermint & Eucalyptus Goat Milk Soap because I love that smell!!
11. If you had to pick one insect to infest your house for 1 day and after that day they would just suddenly vanish, which insect infestation would you pick?
Hmmmmm ... ladybugs? Fireflies? Butterflies?? One of those ...
12. What color is your underwear that you are wearing right at this moment?
Oh! *blushes* I'm supposed to be wearing underwear??

30 October 2018

TMI Tuesday | On the Road Again

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)
1. Tell us about the last road trip you made: When? Where did you go? How long was the overall trip? Did you go alone? Did you have fun?
I love road trips! I've done several in my lifetime including a few coast-to-coast trips. When I read this question it got me thinking that it's been a LONG time since I took a road trip.
Now, understand that I define road trip as a trip via vehicle that requires an overnight stay. The last time I did that? Was when Mike and I moved to Vegas. That's been a while and not a memory that I want to hold on to.
Son and I did a day trip to Valley of Fire (which was pretty cool) but I may need to do a solo road trip. The Mother Road (Route 66) would be fun. I can pick it up not far from here and take it either east or west ... or both. Hmmmm ... it might be time to plan a road trip!
2. Do you love to travel?
I do love to travel, and primarily by car where I can actually see where I'm going and where I've been. The best way to be a better, more compassionate person is through travel.
3. What’s the best place you’ve been? Do you want to go back?
I don't know that I've found the "best place". I've been a lot of places - here in the U.S. as well as outside the U.S. (thank you U.S. Army). Every place I go is a GREAT place, even if it's just down the road.
4. Would you travel for sex? Have you traveled more than 50 miles just to have sex?
Of course I would travel for sex, and yes! I have traveled more than 50 miles just to have sex. Now, I did have some sexual history with this (these) person/people, so I knew it was worth traveling for. I don't know that I would travel more than 50-60 miles for unknown sex.
5. What sexual act or sex position do you struggle with doing?
Honestly? I don't know that there is a sexual act or sex position that I struggle with doing ... at least I haven't found one yet. Anyone want to challenge me??
Bonus: What are you into but have not told anyone?
I'm going to presume this question is referencing sex, because ... well? Because!
There is absolutely nothing sexual that I am into that SOMEONE doesn't know about. Are there things that not everyone knows about? Absolutely!! And it's probably best that way. Those things are shared only with those that I know I can trust - who will not judge me even if they think I might be way out there. It's a trust thing, and I don't trust a lot of people, but the ones that I do trust? They get ALL of me!

28 October 2018

Sunday Stealing | Sleepy Rambles

 
(Stolen from Sleepy Rambles via Sunday Stealing)


1. What is on your mind right now?
NERVOUSNESS!! I'm meeting someone I have been chatting with face-to-face for the first time. TERRIFIED!!    
 2. Do you know anyone who has attended Harvard University?
I don't think I do, but Pablo Torre went to Harvard and I watch him on TV Monday - Friday. Does that count?   
 3. How many books are in the room you’re in?
I have no idea, because I am in the process of moving and boxes are EVERYWHERE!!    
 4. Do you save at least 15 percent of your income?
 You've got to be kidding ...   
 5. When was the last time you had a rainy day spent at home?
I live in Las Vegas - do you have any idea how many Rainy days we have here??
 6. When was the last time you stayed home from school/work?
I work remotely - if I need to stay home I do. I've spent the last three days home as I was moving   
 7. Do you write “yes” or “no” answers to surveys or do you explain more?
YES!!! NO!! Oh ... sorry ... I usually explain more ...   
 8. Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason?
I've been told that I have a penicillin allergy, but according to the CDC, I probably don't.   
 9. Do you have a favorite pair of pajamas? What do they look like?
Am I supposed to wear pajamas??? I cannot wear clothing to bed - just no! If I'm hanging out around the house I'm usually wearing sweats and a shirt or basketball shorts and a t-shirt depending on what time of year it is.    
 10. Would you rather have potato or chicken noodle soup if you had to?
Chicken Noodle Soup for the WIN!!!   
 11. Do you believe that when a person appears in your dreams, that person wants to see you?
I have never even heard this theory, so no.   
 12. When’s the last time you saw your mom?
Yesterday - it was our regularly scheduled Saturday afternoon lunch and drinks at our favorite neighborhood bar!    
 13. What is one food you could eat for a month, straight, and not get sick of?
I'm not sure there is a food that I could eat for a month straight and not get sick of it unless it's something generic like tacos and I could change up the contents while keeping it a taco (i.e. fish taco, breakfast taco)   
 14. Have you ever spray painted something about your love somewhere?
I'm pretty sure that I have never spray painted anything!    
 15. Do you live in a town where basically everyone knows everyone else? 
See question 5, so absolutely not. I did try the small town thing for about 10 years and absolutely hated it. I enjoy the anonymity of living in the city.

23 October 2018

TMI Tuesday | What has TMI Tuesday done for you?

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. What’s the future of dating?
For me personally? Or in general?
For me personally I have no friggin' clue. I just keep hoping to magically bump into someone who actually has interest in dating me, which truly is a pipe dream because I don't get out much. I'd have to find someone at the market or my mailbox, because those are really the only two places I go. I'm not actively seeking a relationship, but would certainly be open to one at this point.
Generally? I think online apps really are the future for the young 'uns. It just gives a person access to far more people than they would bump into, and that can't be a bad thing. 
2. Do you usually wake up with an erection?
Ummmm ... being that I don't have a penis? I can honestly say that no - I've never awoken with an erection.
3. What is your most bizarre talent?
I am a very visual learner. If I packed something up in a box 5 years ago, and someone says to me, "What ever happened to the [FILL IN THE BLANK]?" I will be able to pull the item from wherever the random place it is located within 10 minutes.
4. Do you prefer the people in your life to be simple or complex?
I prefer the people in my life to be complex thinkers with simple (i.e. straight forward) personalities.
5. Are you simple or complex?
I am a complex thinker with simple (i.e. straight forward) personality.
Bonus: Tell us a riddle.
Question: What loses its head in the morning and gets it back at night?
-
-
-
-
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A pillow  

21 October 2018

Sunday Stealing | Halloween Questions

(Stolen from Something Stirring via Sunday Stealing)

1. The smell of pumpkin guts or rotting leaves?
Pumpkin guts!! ALL of the pumpkin guts!! Rotting leaves just smell moldy.
2. Sweet or salty pumpkin seeds?
Noooooo!! NONE of the pumpkin seeds!! Not a fan.
3. Store bought or pumpkin patch pumpkins?
I haven't purchased a pumpkin in years. Back when I lived in Podunk there was a very popular pumpkin farm near by. We went there every year for about 5 years? Then the kids grew up and no one wanted to go any longer. I don't think I've purchased a pumpkin since.
4. Wool or knit sweaters?
Cashmere please! I've owned ONE cashmere sweater in my lifetime and I loved the way it felt on my skin! I might need to treat myself.
5. Halloween party or exploring haunted places?
Again, noooooo!!! Are you noticing a theme developing here? Halloween is not my gig. I actually wrote a post about why that is HERE.
6. Candy corn or mellowcreme pumpkins?
Are Reese's Pumpkins an option? Candy corn and mellowcreme are the DEVIL!!!
7. Apple cider donuts or pumpkin donuts?
Pumpkin flavor is not a favorite of mine, so apple cider donuts for the WIN!!!
8. Apple pie or pumpkin pie?
See answer 7. Apple pie - preferably FRENCH apple pie!
9. Scary costume or something silly?
NO COSTUMES!!!
10. Still, silent nights or rainy, windblown ones?
Am I trick-or-treating? Then still, silent night. If I'm home and hunkered down for the night? Give me rainy and windblown.
11. Hocus Pocus or Halloweentown?
I have never even heard of either of these movies - I had to google to even learn that they were movies. I don't watch Halloween movies ... even if they are produced by Disney!
12. Witches or ghosts?
Are they coming over for dinner? If so, I'll take the witch!
13. Raking leaves or climbing trees?
If there is a tree house at the top of the tree I'll scurry up the tree.
14. Ouija boards or ghost stories around a campfire?
Nooooooo!!!Neither!!!! I'm thinking I probably should have passed on this week's Sunday Stealing, but I'm too far in now.
15. Frankenweenie or The Corpse Bride?
*google* Ummmm ... yeah ... NO!
16. October or November?
Finally! A question I can answer without hesitation. NOVEMBER!!! October can't be over soon enough.
17. Black cats or owls?
Hmmmmm ... birds generally creep me out, so I'm going with the black cat.
18. Fireplace or candlelight?
Mmmmmmm ... fireplace please. Especially if I have someone to cuddle with.
19. Monster movies or their classic novels?
Any guesses??? Maybe I've decided to embrace Halloween?? Nahhh ... I'll go with documentaries and their classic novels, so there!!
20. Carve or paint pumpkins?
I don't think I've ever painted a pumpkin, but I used to LOVE carving pumpkins.

18 October 2018

10 Things Thursday



  1. It's been a while since I've posted on a Thursday, so here it goes ... but first!! THROWBACK THURSDAY!! That time my mom thought it would be a good idea to give me a pixie cut ...
  2. You know that yummy smell after it rains? Did you know it actually has a name (I didn't)? Petrichor ... and apparently there is actually chemistry involved in that magical smell.
  3. Girl Scout cookie seasons is one of my favorite seasons of the year. SHUT UP!! It is too a season!! And this year they are adding a new cookie - the Caramel Chocolate Chip Cookie. Those rotten children are now going to get more of my money!!
  4. Did you know that you can order a Tiny House kit from amazon? This Allwood Bella | 237 SQF Cabin Kit with 86 SQF Loft is only $17,800.00 and you get FREE shipping!! They have several other models available as well!
  5. Chicken diapers - when the hell did this become a thing?
  6. Thank goodness!!! Lifehacker tells me it's okay - even the dreaded "N" word (normal) and healthy - to not have a lot of close friends
  7. I've always said, I'd rather be lucky than good!" Turns out there is some science behind that as well. This Vox article (a good read, but a bit long) explores it further.
  8. Mental health issues have always been near and dear to my heart. I've shared a bit here about my life-long struggle with depression and panic attacks. I'm always amazed that the general public seems to think that "famous" people are somehow exempt from experiencing mental health issues. It's good to see professional athletes like Kevin Love bringing this very real struggle to light
  9. Who remembers Nik-L-Nips?? This guide to old-timey candies for our modern times was a fun trip down memory lane.
  10. Also? Creamed chipped beef ... or what we lovingly called SOS or Shit on a Shingle, is making a comeback as ahangover meal. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

16 October 2018

TMI Tuesday | Why is eating bad food, like having bad sex?

*For the record? I'd rather have bad food than bad sex*

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. Do you like tattoos? Do you have any tattoos?
I have a tattoo addiction, and I really enjoy them on other people as well. For most of us who express ourselves through art on our bodies, there is a story being each one and I love seeing people's stories
Do I have any? Maybe one or two ... and this isn't all of them ... 




  





2. How did you pick your online profile name?
I have a few places I hang out on the internet, and I wasn't smart enough to "brand" myself in the early days, so I have several online profile names
Anything Dana Lu-ish is based on my first and middle names. Amid Life's Crises was a play on words and appropriate when I started this blog. StillTied2TheTracks (and the original "TiedToTheTracks) are my embracing two old blogger trolls who used to tell be I was a train wreck.
3. What’s one saying you try to live by?
I really don't have one other than "Treat others as you would want them to treat you." 
4. What was the last bad meal you ate? Why was it so awful?
My mom and I go to a local bar once a week. The last time I was there I ordered a burger that tasted "off". I ate about 1/2 of it, brought the leftovers home, and son ate the other half. Withing 12 hours he was puking his guts out. I'm fairly certain it was the burger - fortunately I did not suffer the same fate!
5. When was your last bad sexual encounter? Why was it so awful?
Bad sex is bad ...
Let's see ... the last time I had bad sex was the last time I visited one of the swingers clubs here in Vegas. I made the trip expecting one thing, and when that fell through I settled for something else *NOTE TO SELF* Don't settle when it comes to sex Anyway, let's just say it was EXTREMELY clear that he was out for his pleasure and didn't give a damn about mine.
I'm too old for bad sex.
Bonus: Tell us something random
Did you know that the acronym RSVP comes from the French saying, "répondez s'il vous plaît"? Now you do!

14 October 2018

Sunday Stealing | The Phone and Pancakes

(A contribution from Kwizgiver via Sunday Stealing)
1. Your phone rings. Who is the most likely caller?
My phone seldom rings, but when it does? It's most often my mom. For 25+ years I talked to my mom on the phone maybe 2 or 3 times a year. Now? I talk to her on the phone at least 2 or 3 times a week.
2. How long do you chat on the phone each day? 
I try REALLY hard to stay off the phone. I'm not a phone talker. I'm one of those people who sees a call coming in on my phone and  thinks to myself, "I bet this call could have been a text." At most? I probably average 5 minutes a day on the phone.
3. Who do you speak to the most? 
Who do I speak to the most on my phone? Definitely my mom - everyone else knows better
4. Do you often not answer if a certain person comes up on your caller id?
If I don't want to talk to someone who insists on calling me I just block them (I have blocked 2 people on my phone). If the caller ID comes up as an unknown caller? I never answer it.
5. Do you phone friends at work? 
I do not call friends at work, but if a friend calls me when I'm working I will talk to them briefly.
6. Do you make personal calls at work?
Being that I work from home I kind of have to make personal calls at work. The good news is that I seldom need to make personal calls. When I worked in a traditional office I used to make any personal calls I needed to make during my lunch break and on my own cell phone. 

7. Who do you always say “I love you” at the end of the call?
Sadly ... no one *shrugs*
8. Do you use a landline or cell more often? 
I haven't had a landline for at least 10 years, however I do have 2 cell phones - one personal and one dedicated to work calls. I believe I only know one person that still has a landline and that is my mom.
9. Who in the blogosphere that you haven’t chatted with but would like to?
WOW! That's a tough question. I've been fortunate enough to have met 25+ "internet people" in person, and I think I'd rather wait to have the opportunity to chat in person with "internet people" I haven't met than to chat with them on the phone.
Pancakes...
1. Scratch or mix? Buttermilk or plain?
If I'm going to make pancakes they are always from scratch and buttermilk. When I was a kid and we visited my grandparents my grandpa would always make buttermilk pancakes from scratch on Sunday mornings. I've carried on that tradition.

2. Pure and simple, or with additions cooked in?
Oh heavens ... pancakes should always be pure and simple!
3. For breakfast or for dinner?
Ummmm ... is YES an appropriate answer? One of my favorite things is breakfast for dinner.
4. Preferred syrup or other topping? How about the best side dish?
I like good old fashion Mrs. Butterworth's and lots and lots and LOTS of butter on my pancakes. If I'm really craving something sweet I'll top my pancakes with peanut butter and white Karo syrup. What??? Best side dish? Link sausage!
5. Favorite pancake restaurant?
The Original Pancake House all day every day over iHop!
Bonus: Any tasty recipes out there, for pancakes or other special breakfast dishes? Bring 'em on! 
I use Mr. Breakfast's Ultimate Buttermilk Pancake recipe for my from scratch cakes.
I'm also a HUGE fan of this Crockpot Breakfast Casserole recipe

09 October 2018

TMI Tuesday | Too Much Information Running Through Your Brain


1. If you had three wishes that would come true, what would they be?
YIKES! This is a lot of pressure
(1) That my son will find the peace and love that he deserves
(2)  That I die before my son does
(3) That I don't die alone 
2. What are your favorite things to spend money on?
I do NOT like to spend money on anything! I am a saver. That said? If I have "extra" money? Tattoos are always my go to!
3. If you could write a song about your life, what type of music would you use?
Hip-Hop ... go big or go home!
4. If you could choose your partner again, would you choose the same person?
Well, as most of you know, my partner chose someone else while still in a relationship with me. NOPE!!! Not a chance in hell that I would choose the same person again.
5. When it comes to discussing your sex life, who do you confide in more than anyone else?
Sex life?? WAIT!!! My sex life is in my own hands at this point (pun intended) ... and I only talk to myself about work.
Bonus: What’s your definition of cheating? Is there really such a thing?
Here is my (probably uncommon) opinion on cheating. It only becomes cheating if you hide it. Look, I'm well aware that as humans we are not predisposed to monogamy. There is this whole MUST SPREAD THE SEED thing that is so ingrained in our genetics.
 As odd as this might sound, I'm not worried about my partner having sex with someone else - I am worried about my partner being INTIMATE with someone else

07 October 2018

Sunday Stealing | Friday Questions on (late) Sunday

(From ilax STUDIO via Sunday Stealing)

1. Have you ever tried to learn (or re-learn) a foreign language as an adult? Which one? What worked for you?
About 15 years ago *DAMN! I'm getting old* when I first moved to Chicago and had a long commute to work, I decided I should do something constructive with my drive time (usually an hour+) and checked out one of those "Learn Spanish" CD sets from the library. It was a complete failure. I had difficulty driving and concentrating on anything but driving.
I'd still like to learn Spanish - especially now that I live in Vegas - and may actually take a real class at the community college. 
2. Do you donate blood? Do you know your blood type?
It's been a while since I donated blood, but I used to be a regular blood and plasma donor. I wanted to give blood after 1 October, but the lines to donate were crazy long. Now that they've relaxed the requirements for donating (it used to be that you could not have had a tattoo withing the last year - that is no longer a requirement), I might start donating again.
And I am O+ - a universal donor! 
3. Have you ever been in a play or musical?
I have never been in a play or musical, but I have been in probably 100+ musical performances (I was a band geek).
4. Do you use certain text or ring tones for specific people? Who gets their own? Or do you just use the default on your phone?
I don't use any special text or ring tones for anyone, but I also don't use the default text and ring tones. If my phone is ringing I don't want it to sound like everyone else's phone.
5. When did you get your first digital camera? Do you still shoot on actual film, or all digital now?
WOW! I think I got my first digital camera in about 2000-ish?And now? The only digital camera I own is my phone.
6. What do you think someone else would say the most daring thing you’ve done is?
Goodness ... I've learned over the years that I've done some daring things without realizing they were daring. Moving to San Diego from Seattle when I was 22? Joining the Army when I was 25? Replacing the treads and risers of my stairs in the first home I owned? Going back to college at 40? I don't see any of these things as daring, but I've heard from other people that they think they were daring.
7. Do you talk with your hands?
I am not a hand talker - unless I'm flipping you off because you are a terrible driver.
8. Given the choice in a restaurant – would you go with a booth or table (or bar!!!) for seating?
If I'm eating alone? I'd choose the bar. If I'm eating with others? A table. NEVER a booth unless it is the only option.
9. What kind of milk did you drink, growing up? And now?
Really? You expect me to remember what kind of milk I drank 50 years ago?? I seem to remember that we were always a whole milk family. Something about my dad not wanting "watered down" milk. Now I buy 2% exclusively.
*SIDE NOTE* I do remember having a milk man and a milk box on our doorstep. 
10. How do you keep track of all your passwords? Do you make your passwords super complicated and change them often, or use the same ones over and over?
I have a password "system". Not all of my passwords are the same, but they are similar. I do have one or two that I use frequently.
11. Are you a note taker?
I am a note taker, specifically when I'm on my work phone. I also take notes during meetings.
12. Do you remember what your first social media posting (or status update) was on Facebook or Twitter – without looking it up? What was it?
Ummmmm ... NO! I have no idea what my first social media posting/status update was, but I'm guessing it was about as exciting as the social media posting/status updates I post now ... which is not very exciting.
13. Do you have a “power” song?
A power song? Is that like a My One Word only in audio farm? Yeah ... NO!!!
14. Do you have an eclectic mug collection, or is your stuff all matchy matchy?
I have TWO coffee mugs that are not matchy-matchy. They are the only two coffee mugs I ever use because they hold 12 oz and I need every ounce of coffee I can get in the morning.
I also have the 8 mugs that came with the dish set that I purchased - those are seldom used.
15. Do you have a junk drawer in your house/garage/at work/wherever?
Doesn't everyone have a junk drawer? I have THREE - one in my bedroom (don't ask), one in the coffee table in my living room, and one in the kitchen.
16. Do you ever get the urge to watch a favorite scene from a movie, and watch just that scene?
Is this something people do? I have never watched a favorite scene from any movie.
17. Have you ever woken up and felt guilty from a dream you had, or, mad at someone else for something they did in the dream?
Ohhhh ... more times than I can count. My dreams are VIVID and the feelings even more VIVID. I've woken up guilty, mad, scared, and sexually aroused. WHAT??? Like you've never had a sexually arousing dream??
18.  How old were you when you took your first commercial flight? To where did you fly?
The first time I ever took a commercial flight, I was 11? Maybe 12? That would be 1975 for those of you who don't know how old I am. I flew with my parents (don't remember where we went). I also remember doing math homework on the plane (I was a true geek) and having my dad accuse me of "flirting" with the guy sitting next to me (at least 20 years my senior) who was an engineer and offered to help me with my math homework. That situation did not end well.
19. Are you good at keeping track of your things – or do you easily misplace them? Do you ever leave anything behind when you travel?
Generally I am REALLY good at keeping track of my things. I am one of those people who can remember what's in a box that I haven't opened for 5 years.
That said? I do leave things behind when I visit/travel. I think it's because I want to have an excuse to return.
20. Is there any place you go where time seems to stand still? What is it about that place that makes it that way?
No ... there is no place I go where time seems to stand still. I wish I could find such a place.

02 October 2018

When Honesty Backfires

A day after posting my "Me Too" post, I received this text from someone I consider a dear friend: 


Now, just so everyone is clear, I don't care if this friend - or any of you reading this blog - think Kavanaugh is being railroaded. That's your opinion. Quite frankly, I don't know what happened. It's difficult, especially in the political arena, to get a straight answer from anyone. What I do know is that Kavanaugh has a lot to lose if this accusation is true (as well as infinite financial backing to insure it isn't "true"), and Blasey Ford has already lost everything just by reporting this. I will also say that if it can be proven that she has made a false statement? She should be prosecuted.

What bothered me most about this text was not that we have differing opinions (we often do), but that the way this was presented minimized and dismissed my story.

Although the statute of limitations ran out long ago on my "date rape", if I had to prosecute it or try to get someone to believe that my story was true? I guarantee I would NOT be successful. No one can corroborate my story. I have no doubt he would claim it never happened. And then? I'd be victimized not only by my rapist (that is so hard to type), but by the judicial system as well.

There are a million reasons someone would wait 35 years to report. Just check out the twitter hashtag #WhyIDidntReport and you'll see what we have been told (not just women, but men too) - what society has shown us about our worth. 

Rape is our fault - we dressed provocatively- we were asking for it - rape doesn't happen to big/fat/ugly girls - we are ashamed - we were young - we did tell someone and they didn't believe us - we were drinking/drunk - we thought this never happened to anyone else - it was a family member.

And then? Ask yourself why, in a he said/she said situation regarding sexual assault, do people (generally) believe the accused and not the accuser? 

Many of us have seen this too many times to put ourselves out there - to report a sexual assault. What is the benefit to us? Additional shame and embarrassment? I think I'll pass ...

I will ask all of you to not leave nasty comments about this friend. We are working our way through this. We are making progress. This is the latest text I received:



*UPDATE* We had a wonderful (and healing) talk yesterday and all is well - VERY well!!

30 September 2018

Sunday Stealing | Identity Ask

(From Penny Royal Princess via Sunday Stealing)

1. Favorite style of clothing
First, let's set things straight - I do not have a style unless clean and not wrinkled is a style. If I could choose any style, and money was not a concern, I would mimic Danielle Colby's (from American Pickers) style and purchase most of my clothing from Pinup Girl Clothing. 
And yes, I do have a MAD girl crush on her
2. Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?
I do occasionally get "good morning" and/or "good night" texts these days, but more often than not I am the one initiating those texts. I also get an occasional "Are you awake?" text. Seems most of the people that I chat with are on either central or eastern time.
3. Have I ever kissed the last person I texted?
*looks at my phone* Nope! Definitely not, although I would. What???
4. When did I last hold hands?
Oh goodness ... it's been somewhere between 18 and 24 months. I miss holding hands. I miss being touched.
5. How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
6 out of 7 days, getting ready in the morning for me means putting on a comfy pair of shorts and a tank top and then walking the 10 steps to my desk. I'd say less than 30 seconds. If I actually have to get dressed and people? It takes about 45 minutes for me to shower, do my hair, get dressed and put on a face. I'm pretty low maintenance.
6. Have I shaved my legs in the past three days?
My legs? No. No one sees them - no one touches them - can't imagine why I'd worry too much about shaving them regularly. My armpits though are a different story!
7. Where am I right now?
Sitting at my desk in my bedroom.
8. Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
I think so? Look, I tend to be a bit reserved with people when I first start talking/chatting with them. If I am with them in real life, I watch their body language to try to determine their comfort level. If I'm chatting with someone I've never met? It's a little more difficult to "feel them out," so I usually wait for them to offer a nugget of transparency before I do.
9. How often do I wear a fake smile?
Not often, but only because I'm not required to actually interact with real people very often. I would say I wear a fake smile about 90% of the time when forced to people with the general public.
10. When was the last time I hugged someone?
Hmmmm ... not as long as it's been since I held hands. Maybe 4 months? Did I mention that I miss being touched?
11. Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?
If you had asked me this question a year ago? It would be a definite YES! Now? I think I've learned to be a bit more skeptical/cynical, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
12. What is something I disliked about today?
Well? Nothing so far, but later on I need to take my happy ass to Home Depot to get moving boxes/supplies. I am going to dislike that very much!
13. If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
Just meet? Like shake hands and take a selfie meet? No one. Meet like spend some time together and get to know each other better? There may or may not be someone out there that meets that criteria *wink*
14. What do I think about most?
Currently? I think most about moving. I don't want to move again, and once again my move was not my choice. I enjoy moving when it's my decision to move. When it's due to someone/something else? Not so much ... and not for the 3rd time in just over 2 years.
15. Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
Behind the camera ... EVERY SINGLE TIME!!
16. Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
Is no an acceptable answer? I prefer NEITHER of those communication methods, but if I was forced to choose one? Talking on the phone.
17. Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
Ghosts? Maybe? It seems odd to me that when you die all of that energy dissipates into nothing. Aliens? Not like in the Area 52 aliens, but I do think it's quite possible that there are other living beings in other universes. Maybe they find us and save us!
18. Do I believe in magic?
I believe that there are people who are really skilled at performing optical illusions!
19. Do I believe in luck?
One of my favorite sayings is, "It's better to be lucky than good." I think much of life is luck. The families we are born into. The situations we are faced with in life. Yes, there is sometimes the whole "free will" thing that plays a part, but I believe those decisions are often luck as well.
20. What's the weather like right now?
At 9:45 AM in Las Vegas?
21. What was the last book I've read? 
Ta-Nehisi Coates - Between the World and Me
I need a new book so if anyone has any suggestions feel free to leave them in the comments. I prefer non-fiction and legal thrillers. And ... GO!
22. Do I like the smell of gasoline?
Oh do I!! And permanent markers too!
23. What was the worst injury I've ever had?
The worst was a knee injury suffered during a softball game. It require micro-fracture surgery and has never been the same.
24. Do I spend money or save it?
I am a saver. If I weren't I think Las Vegas may have chewed me up and spit me out by now!
25. Can I touch my nose with my tongue?
No, but why would I want to??

27 September 2018

Me too

I’ve avoided this topic/trend - I didn’t want to come across as a victim, even though I was

I was date raped when I was 19. This is the FIRST time I’ve ever told anyone about this (*waves* Hi Internet!!) - it’s been 35 years

I went out to dinner with a guy I met at school. We actually had a good dinner date. When it was time to go home, he wouldn’t take me home, instead he took me to his apartment

I didn’t know what to do. He picked me up from my house. I had no transportation - no way to get home

It was “that time of the month” He forced himself into me even though I was using a tampon 

I stopped saying “no” when it was clear that “no” wasn’t going to be honored. I figured it would be over more quickly if I just laid there pretending it wasn’t happening

This was before cell phones - I had no access to an “out” - I eventually walked the 4 miles home at 2 AM (after he fell asleep) - I cried all the way

This was a time when it was assumed that women were in a perpetual state of consent. If a man wanted it, the woman consented. And for goodness sake - I was 6′ tall and probably 200+ lbs - how does someone my size get raped. Let's get real … no one would have believed me ... I knew that ... even then. Worse yet? I felt like I deserved it. That I dressed to provocatively - that I wasn't more forceful trying to get him to stop - that I din't drive myself. There is so much guilt ...

This thing with Brett Kavanaugh has brought up emotions I thought I had locked away 3+ decades ago

I guess I didn’t

25 September 2018

TMI Tuesday | Connect

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. How do you and your loved one connect?
I don't know why, but I find this question quite odd. My loved one? Are we talking significant other? Don't have one. Are we talking children? Text. Are we talking family members? Text. Are we talking the dead? Theresa Caputo.
2. When did you last make a mistake and were okay with that mistake?
I make mistakes regularly - some small - some big. I am never okay with the mistakes I make because I believe being okay with mistakes breeds complacency. I try to figure out what caused the mistake and avoid making the same mistake again.
3. What are you just not seeing?
I am not seeing what my life will look like in 10 years - I lost that vision about 18 months ago and I've not taken the time to figure out what my next vision should be. I need to get on that. Life has just been a series of reacting and existing, which isn't fulfilling at all.
4. If you could spend ten minutes with your hero alive or dead what would you ask them?
My hero has Genoa salami, prosciutto, mozzarella, and tomatoes on crusty bread. Wait ... this question isn't about food?
5. Who in your life do you wish you’d met sooner?
Hmmmm ... this is kind of one of those "If you could change any one thing" questions, and y'all know how I feel about those. I believe that people come into your life exactly when they should. I wouldn't want to mess with the flying spaghetti monster and universe.
Bonus: Have you ever won a medal for a sports activity? What sexual activity are you sure to win the gold?
I have never won a medal per se, but I have won several ribbons and trophies for sports over the years.
The sexual activity that I would win a gold medal in? Let's go with teasing - it's one of my favorite things to do - the strategic touch, random sext message, the build up of anticipation for what is going to happen next.
*SIDE NOTE* Don't google "sexual activity gold" ... just don't! 

16 September 2018

Sunday Stealing | 65 Questions part 1

(via Sunday Stealing)

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?
Wait ... what? I'm not sure I even understand this question. I mean, I see other people, I engage with other people, I'd say others exist. Now, if we're talking extraterrestrial? I'm fairly certain we are not the only people in the universe, and I think the others are laughing at us!
2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?
If I'm in my own home? I'm at a 1. If I'm out in a place where no one else (hopefully) is around? I'm at a 4.9997
3. The person you would never want to meet?
The person who wants to do me harm.
4. What is your favorite word?
Oh words ... I love words!! One of my all time favorites is hemidemisemiquaver.
5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?
I'd want to be a redwood, but I'm more of a weeping willow.
6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?
It's no wonder you are single ...
7. What shirt are you wearing?



8. What do you label yourself as?
Interesting question. I label myself as fat, unattractive, INTJ, and anti-social, just to name a few.
9. Bright room or dark room?
Bright room ... always the BRIGHT room!
10. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping ... very, very soundly. 
11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?
Ohhhh ... with the exception of one event (my husband's suicide) my 20's were PHENOMENAL. I'd go back there in a heartbeat!
12. Who told you they loved you last?
My mom. I don't know if she meant it, but she said it.
13. Your worst enemy?
This is an easy one ... MYSELF!
14. What is your current desktop picture?


15. Do you like someone?
I like a lot of people. Do I have a romantic interest in someone? I do, but they aren't available and I haven't expressed it, so it just stays a fantasy.
16. The last song you listened to?
Son left the radio on the country station after he took his GF to work ... What Ifs ft. Lauren Alaina (Kane Brown), and boy does that song hit me hard right now
17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
Honestly? No one - the bad ones will blow themselves up!
18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
45
19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?
Oh wow, ummmm ... I'd be a much better slave than a master.
20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)
I'm 54-years old. My best physical attribute is that I'm still breathing. Secondary?


21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?
Ummm ... so ... I did this quiz on Facebook recently and it said I would look like this ...

What would I do as a man? Cower in a corner for 24-hours!
22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?
I don't know if you'd call it a secret talent, but I have this visual memory thing that allows me to remember where things are even if they have been packed away for 5+ years. It's weird
23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?
I don't know if it's unique, but I'm TERRIBLY afraid of dying alone - that no one will notice.
24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.
I am not a vegetarian by any stretch, but a Jimmy John's #13 would keep me VERY happy!


25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?
I want to say that I'd do something spontaneous and irresponsible, but I'd likely just pay extra on a bill.
26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?
I would like to go to Greece please. I don't know what it is about Greece (other than the ocean and the vibrant colors), but I've always wanted to go there!
27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says.
Ummmm ... I'm not sure it is an angel that would ask me this, but Ketel One Vodka please!!
28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 
Don't be an asshole
29. What is your favorite expletive?
FUCK! Fuckity FUCK!!
30. Your house is on fire. You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?


This is a plaster of my son's hand when he was 15 months old. It is the one thing I'd want to keep!