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I learned something yesterday - what it feels like to read less than flattering things about yourself in another's blog. In this case, there was no malice intended - in fact, knowing my dear friend as well as I do, I have no doubt that he felt not saying what he said would be far more detrimental than saying it.
It wasn't just his post, but some of the comments, that really stung. I know there are many of you out there who would just like to grab me by my cyber shoulders and shake some sense into me. What's odd is that you (said collectively) have, and yet you don't see the change. I'll admit - it's slow - painfully slow at times - but there has been progress.
Clearly, I am getting something out of this relationship or I wouldn't still be in it. Maybe I do revel in the victim mode - maybe I am so manipulative that I sit on the fence only to garner all of your sympathy and attention - or maybe I'm just human, making mistakes along the way, mustering up enough honesty and integrity to lay out all of the ugliness and imperfections in this very public forum. As I re-read my words (and your comments), as I gain self-worth and perspective, as I take chances and move forward - progress is made.
I'm not going to attempt to justify any of my actions or inactions. There are no justifications, only excuses.
I've turned off comments for this post. I think I've said enough.
EDIT: I turned off comments because I felt that responding to them would come across as trying to justify my position. I just don't want to do that - not now - not again - not ever.
I'll return to regularly scheduled programing tomorrow - it will be, after all, TMI Tuesday!
It wasn't just his post, but some of the comments, that really stung. I know there are many of you out there who would just like to grab me by my cyber shoulders and shake some sense into me. What's odd is that you (said collectively) have, and yet you don't see the change. I'll admit - it's slow - painfully slow at times - but there has been progress.
Clearly, I am getting something out of this relationship or I wouldn't still be in it. Maybe I do revel in the victim mode - maybe I am so manipulative that I sit on the fence only to garner all of your sympathy and attention - or maybe I'm just human, making mistakes along the way, mustering up enough honesty and integrity to lay out all of the ugliness and imperfections in this very public forum. As I re-read my words (and your comments), as I gain self-worth and perspective, as I take chances and move forward - progress is made.
I'm not going to attempt to justify any of my actions or inactions. There are no justifications, only excuses.
I've turned off comments for this post. I think I've said enough.
EDIT: I turned off comments because I felt that responding to them would come across as trying to justify my position. I just don't want to do that - not now - not again - not ever.
I'll return to regularly scheduled programing tomorrow - it will be, after all, TMI Tuesday!
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