Friday Wrap Up

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I haven't been so happy to see a Friday in a L-O-N-G time. Why? Because this week was spring break, and a 16-year old man-child with nothing constructive to do for 9 consecutive days is a disaster waiting to happen.

Just ask the mother of "tuck-n-roll Matt". You remember, don't you? The kid I had to take to the ER a few weeks ago after he decided it would be a good idea to jump out of my car - while it was moving - because he didn't want to go home? Yeah ... this week he decided going to a party and drinking excessively (as in he was a babbling idiot) was a good idea because even though I told him he couldn't spend the night during spring break, I would certainly change my mind because calling his mother to pick up his drunk ass would be akin to throwing him under a bus!

I called his mother to pick up his drunk ass.

And if you are curious? Cam did not drink, but that doesn't imply he was an angel.

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I had my first (and second) designer cupcake last night. What? You think we have a designer cupcake bakery in Podunk?

Mike brought these down from a shop in Milwaukee.

My first foodgasm was induced by one of those pink jobbers on the center left - Strawberry Champagne. My second (I'm so glad foodgasms come in multiples) was the result of my palate being fondled by a Vanilla Bean cupcake (top right).

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Last week, I was reminded once again, of my propensity to cause a ruckus when working with a team of women. See, I don't do the touchy-feely thing well, and generally? Women prefer opinions to be presented in a roundabout, less direct manner.

With a little dash of passive-aggressive.

And a heaping cup of understanding and praise.

Hell! Cam doesn't even get that!

Oops!

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Hey! If you're not doing anything Sunday (and it's not Easter, so don't pretend you are going to church), Mike and I will be hanging out with Jay and Matt on I'm With Stupid at noon eastern time on their show - appropriately titled - Rock the Cradle of Love:

What's it like to be in a relationship with someone many years older or younger? Well, this week Jayman and Matt-Man are going to discuss these May-December loves with our good friends Dana and Mike. They can tell us what it's like to be the Cougar and the Cub and all the ups and downs of being involved with someone from a different generation. So join us as we analyze this phenomenon and even call in with your questions and comments.

This should be fun ...

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Covert Abuse

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Some of you are going to be uncomfortable with this post, not because it has anything to do with you directly, but because you know the person I'm going to address - Kim (i.e. Kimmeh, Kimmikins, Rhekins).

You might feel like you need to take sides. I'd prefer you don't. In fact, I'm not even opening comments on this post so that no one can take sides - at least not here.

*NOTE* I received an email that stated:

"I would say that not allowing comments was a bad move. It looks like you didn't want anyone to point out that some of your "facts" might have been a bit one-sided. Or maybe someone would say the pics didn't look all that similar and that it didn't seem like a big deal."

Although not my intent, I can see how it might seem that way. As such, I've opened the comments. I will NOT respond to any of your comments as I believe there is fault shared between both Kim and I in this debacle and I don't want to attempt to "justify" my part in the shared bad behavior.

What's important is for me to lay out the facts that have been missing from the back and forth, passive aggressive banter between us. I'm not interested in making accusations, spinning the truth without giving reference when it's available, or name calling. If you feel the need to support Kim, you can do that on her blog.

And now, the rest of the story ...

I pissed off fellow blogger Kim many months ago. What's odd is I don't even remember what the original falling out was all about (it was that trivial in my mind at the time), but I'm certain she does - she's been making me "pay" for whatever my misdeed was for quite some time now.

Why aren't some of you aware of what's been going on? Sadly, covert abuse is her expertise. Sure, she seems nice, and I have no doubt she can be nice. She was extremely nice to me at one time ... until it became apparent that I don't play by her rules.

Kim is also one smart cookie (seriously). She knows the ins and outs of social media well - what shows up in her follower's time lines and what doesn't. Seldom does she slip up.

Kim is the person I spoke of in [THIS] blog rant. I've tried to address this situation with her directly, but she's been a bit slippery, ignoring several of my past attempts at email communication.

It seems she has no faults that she's willing to admit to publicly. It is everyone around her who has faults and they must be punished for those faults. People who have "wronged" Kim must be humiliated. I can only presume that is so she can feel better about herself.

I'm willing to ignore a lot of bullshit, but I'm not willing to allow Kim's half-truths to go unchecked any longer.

Things between Kim and I recently came to a head when I saw this photo on her Project 365 blog last week.


The following twitter exchange took place between me and two other two others (Kim was not one of them).


This is my photo that I felt had been copied and/or was the "inspiration" for her photo.


Could I have handled my own frustration in a more constructive way? Ummm ... yeah ... probably! Do I have regrets that I didn't? Nope, and I'll show you why ...

A few days later Kim posted this entry to her blog.


Let's skip the obvious - she doesn't really hate to get all passive aggressive - if she did she'd have written a blog post like the one I'm writing (and she likely will). She could have chosen to address this in a different manner - confronted me directly, in public or in private. But this passive aggressive post gave her the opportunity to spin her story to her advantage. If you read the comments you'll see it was a success!

The facts (or lack there of) are far more interesting to me.

She compares a microphone photo we both took as an example of how unreasonable I'm being. Here is her photo.


... and mine ...


But she didn't bother with the story behind the photos. When you hear it you'll understand why.

Are they the same microphone? Yes! This is the microphone used by Annie of the Annie & Burl Live Blog Talk Radio show. Kim took her photo of the mic long before I did. She is often in the studio when the Annie & Burl Live show airs.

I had a one-time opportunity to partake in one of their shows over the summer and took a photo of the identical mic - an iconic image of the radio show, if you will. I'd argue you'd be hard pressed to tell that is the same microphone. Why? Because I went out of my way to adjust my composition knowing I was taking a photo of something she had already photographed.

Next claim, I was passive-aggressive on twitter.

Yes I was, although I'm still trying to figure out how she discovered that since she insists she doesn't "stalk" my tweets like I do hers. But here's what got me:

"In fact I think her words implied that I lifted the picture off her blog and put it as mine."

You know, if you're going to make such harsh accusations, you really need to present facts. In this case the facts are out there in a public forum, easy to grab just like I did. There's no excuse for saying "I think" when you can know with just a few clicks on your computer, unless the facts don't support your accusations (which seems to be the case here).

Let's assume for a moment that Kim didn't read my tweets. That is possible, and due to the way one of the tweets in that exchange was formatted, I'm fairly certain it showed up in Kim's Twitter timeline.

But how would Kim know who or what I was talking about unless she was familiar with my photo (she does view my P365 blog) and saw the similarities as well? I didn't mention her name. Didn't even mention the content of the photo. Remember? This was a passive aggressive twitter exchange. Hmmmm ...

There is also the possibility that Kim did, in fact, read that entire twitter exchange (and what is printed above is the public exchange in it's entirety). But how could that be if she wrote in her blog post that I "implied that [she] lifted the picture off [my] blog and put it as [hers]"?

Well, her blog post wouldn't have had quite the same impact had she mentioned that I clarified that was not the case, would it?

I plainly stated in my response that the photo was NOT my photo posted on another blog, but rather one "almost identical to mine" - and looking at the two photos (Kim did NOT provide both photos on her blog post - again one has to wonder why), even she would be hard pressed to claim the photos weren't "almost identical" - composition, cropping and subject matter are the same.

One of her next lines in the post is even more telling.

I do not like being bullied, I do not like being accused of things and I want it to stop.

So, what did I do? I let it go. I didn't even comment on her post. I decide to (cautiously) deem it an odd coincidence and move forward. Let's be realistic, I cannot claim to know what inspired Kim's photo. She says I'm full of shit (passive aggressively of course) so? OK *shrugs*

She wants it to stop? Cool! I made a conscientious choice to no longer aggravate the situation (that hasn't always been the case). I wanted this to stop months ago, yet I was still contributing to the problem.

I figured if I gave it my best effort, Kim would finally give up on directing her passive aggressive attack towards me. Why would someone claiming she's reacting to my "bullying" need to continue with hers if there was no provocation? Right?

WRONG!

Just days later this Twitter exchange occurs.


Ummm ... yeah ... she obviously doesn't want this to stop, otherwise she wouldn't be poking it with a stick on Twitter.

In true passive aggressive form, when I stated that I didn't understand the inconsistencies between her words and actions (she wants it to stop, but she's going to keep poking it with a stick on Twitter) she deflects.

See, this can't be about a flaw she has. Noooo ... it's about me! I'm stalking her tweets. It's my fault! Of course it is ...

I'm the bully! Of course I am ...

At this point I'm thinking, yet again, that she's gotten it all out of her system. She's done her thing - placing blame elsewhere - in a public forum where we have many mutual friends. I've been punished. I've received my public flogging - TWICE. All should be well ... or not ...

Two days later, this Twitter exchange between Kim and yet another of her followers.


Passive aggressive people ignore problems, see things through their own skewed sense of reality and, if forced to deal with the problems will completely withdraw (i.e the follow, unfollow, block, go private twitter response).

Passive aggressive people deny evidence of wrong doing, distort what everyone knows to be real so that their "altered" situations fit their own agenda, and minimize or lie so that their version of what is real seems more logical.

Kim is a master.

If I didn't know as much about passive aggressive behavior as I do, I'd be thinking something was terribly wrong with me. Unfortunately for Kim, I am all too familiar with this behavior - from others and within myself. It doesn't work on me, or for me, and that appears to frustrate the hell out of Kim. She has not let it go. She continues to go to great lengths to insure I continue to "pay".

I have many flaws, but rampant passive aggressive behavior is not one of them - thank goodness - it isn't attractive nor endearing.

Bottom line? When your tweets read like these (pulled directly from Kim's public twitter feed in the last week or so) ...






... it becomes pretty clear who you really are. Kim's own words speak far louder than any of my words ever could.

*CLARIFICATION* The above referenced tweets were NOT directed towards me

She won't let it go. I've wasted enough time trying to make this right and she has wasted far too much time trying to make me wrong, but I'm willing to bet that won't stop her from continuing on with her efforts.

Personally? I'm done. I've made changes to my Twitter account and Blogger account to insure I won't even be "tempted" to see what she is saying/doing. If she chooses to continue her passive aggressive attacks towards me, I'll be none the wiser. I cannot think of a better gift to myself!

The good news? I've learned there are just some people I will never like no matter how many "friends" we have in common, and pretending to is just plain silly.

Fuck it ...

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Friday Wrap-Up

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Hell of a week this week. I seem to be having a difficult time getting back into the swing of Cam's schedule and its impact on my drinking schedule. It's not like I don't have enough time to do things, I just don't feel like doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done. I'm craving flexibility and spontaneity.

Yeah, I said that! Something is terribly perverted in the universe ...

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Cam had a "Come to Jeebus" moment at school this week. When confronted with overwhelming emotions he did what he does best - attempted to bail. Unfortunately, school policy doesn't allow for escape so he went with his secondary coping mechanism - full on football mode.

When staff attempted to block him from leaving the building, he decided to see if his linebacker skills were in proper working order. Lacking a nose guard or tackle to help him out, 5 staff members took him down ... to the floor.

He was banged up pretty bad. I was devastated when I got the call from the school. And then I was reminded of why I pushed so hard for this placement.

Yes, there were consequences, but the biggest concern was why did his happen. What skills can we teach Cam that will help him cope with the sensory overload. It was a defining moment.

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I'm putting in an application for a new (to me) apartment today. It's a 2-bedroom, similar in size to what Cam and I are in now, but is in a triplex (fewer neighbors), has a garage (I don't) and has a washer dryer hookup in the basement (no more Sunday morning trips to the laundromat)! Best part about it? It's $25 a month less than what I'm paying now.

Cam is not happy. Change is bad. Moving is really bad.

Did I mention this apartment is 4 blocks away from where we are now?

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Are you feeling guilty for a year of sin? Have a craving for a bagel with cream cheese and lox? Tune in to I'm With Stupid Sunday morning, 11:00 AM EDT on Blog Talk Radio. Jay and Matt will be dishing up a little atonement with a side order of ridicule.

You might even hear a live Sunday Secret ... maybe.

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Friday Wrap-Up (Saturday Edition)

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It is always a busy time in accounting land at the end/beginning of the month, but this week felt like year end.

In addition to my "normal" chaos, there was a significant issue with my cash book account balancing to my cash general ledger account (for you non-accounting folks, this is similar to when your checkbook doesn't match what the bank says you have in your account) ... to the tune of about $1M.

Wednesday morning, the CFO and controller called me into a meeting to address the situation. With a computer linked to a big screen, and a white board the size of a semi truck, we dove in.

Now understand, I thought this was my fault, and I had let it go far too long (since the beginning of the year). I kept thinking I was fixing it and yet the discrepancy kept getting bigger and bigger. I prepared myself for the ass-chewing I knew I deserved. It was bad enough that I clearly had no idea what I was doing, but to neglect the issue for EIGHT MONTHS was quite irresponsible.

Come to find out, I was doing the right things. The controller - in an attempt to circumnavigate an ongoing problem with my AZ bookkeeper - made a change to the way the general ledger accounts were mapped ... and neglected to tell anyone.

Seven hours (and no lunch or bathroom breaks) later, it became clear that each time I made an entry through cash book, the money was going into the wrong general ledger account.

Ummmm ... yeah ...

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Cam hates his new school ... I don't ...

I am confident that Cam is getting fair and equal treatment this year - that his perception of everyone picking on him is skewed. I continue to reinforce that he is responsible for his actions and his length of stay at the therapeutic day school. He can either cooperate, do what is needed, and move on, or he can dig in his heels and make his life extremely difficult (his current M.O.).

What is different this year is that the school and I are on the same page. They are trying to get him out of his therapeutic day school placement, but in this case, that action means Cam is being successful - not that he is failing - and that is a good thing.

I have no doubt we are in for a rough ride, but I have vowed to give myself credit for doing the right things (offering a place to study, help with homework, etc.) and allowing Cam the choice (and consequences) to succeed or fail.

I've got four years to help him make a positive difference in his life.

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If you're not too hung-over, repenting your sins at church too busy on Sunday morning (11:00 AM EDT), tune in to Show #2 of "I'm With Stupid" - Jayman and Matt-Man's escapade into the world of Blog Talk Radio.

You never know what you might get ... sometimes there is even a live stream. Noooo ... not via webcam, but via Matt-Man's bathroom visits!

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What's For Lunch?

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Normally ...

Oh hell! Who am I trying to kid?? When has this blog ever been normal?

Friday's are usually a wrap-up of the week here, but y'all have been getting the play-by-play all week long. I just couldn't bring myself to post it all again. Call it denial (still having some issues coming to terms with some of what's happened this week) or just a gift to all of you, but I'm not doing it this week. So there!

Instead, I thought I'd talk about school lunch.

I've mentioned before that I often listen to The Annie & Burl Live show on Blog Talk Radio. Wednesday they had Mrs. Q from "Fed Up With Lunch: The School Lunch Project" on their show. If you have a child who eats school lunch, you really should listen to Wednesday night's show and subscribe to Mrs. Q's blog.

In an effort to shed light on the impact of school lunch nutrition on learning, Mrs. Q - an educator in a school with a high percentage of students receiving free/reduced price lunches - decided to eat school lunch every day. In her blog she documents what is served, how it tasted and often, her observations of the student reactions to lunch. Additionally, she has guest bloggers who address ways to improve the system. Mrs. Q's project inspired me to take a closer look at the school lunch program at Cam's school.

Cam's middle school serves two meals - breakfast ($1.50) before school and lunch ($2.50) over the lunch hour. Based on our income, Cam qualifies for reduced priced lunches. What this means is that his FIRST lunch costs $0.40 and then he pays full price for any seconds ... or thirds. It is not unusual for Cam to spend $25 - $30 per week on school lunches.

I was a little surprised when I downloaded the current menus. Quite honestly, the breakfast menu (which Cam NEVER purchases from because it requires a different meal card than lunch and he can't find his breakfast card) looks pretty tasty ...

The lunch menu doesn't look too bad either ...


But after reading Mrs. Q's blog, something tells me that what looks and sounds really good on the menu might not be so tasty and appealing in real life.

Remember back in the day when we were kids? When schools had kitchens and meals were cooked in the kitchen and then served by blue-haired ladies on plastic trays with real stainless steel eating utensils?? The school lunch model has changed drastically since those days.

Cam's school does not have a kitchen. Prepackaged food is trucked in daily and heated in ovens or on steam tables. Nothing is cooked on site. Although there is a full lunch available, Cam tells me most kids purchase the "Grill" items (cheeseburger, hamburger, etc.) because they are easy to store in your locker to eat later *throws up a little in my mouth* 8th graders at the middle school have an 11:00AM lunch, and school doesn't let out until 3:30PM. They get hungry after lunch.

I tried to find nutritional information on Cam's school lunches (sadly, this was the first time I even considered looking for it) and guess what?? Although the menu tells me nutritional information is available on their website, it isn't. The nutritional information page links only to nutritional information for the elementary school lunches ... and that link takes you to a blank page. Hmmm ...

Silly me ... I assumed that a Federally funded school lunch program would serve nutritious meals to our school kids. Instead, it appears they are doing little more than filling kids' bellies ... with low fiber, high sugar/fat food "stuffs".

I have options. I can choose to make Cam take his lunch, but I cannot provide nutrition for the $0.40 he pays for a school lunch. It's too bad the school lunch program can't either ...

Mrs. Q on Annie & Burl Live

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