Back To Life, Back To Reality

I've been seeing a lot of New Year's "Spirit Words" (You know, like spirit animals?). I don't remember seeing these last year, although several people claim they chose one last year too (Obviously I have not been paying attention).

Anyway, rather than make fun of y'all for conjuring up spirit animals ... errrr ... words ... I figured I'd join in. I even made one of those fancy-schmancy spirit word banners ...

pur·pose·ful

1. Having or showing determination or resolve.
2. Having a useful purpose.

Synonyms
intentional - purposive - deliberate - resolute


I thought about using DRUNK as my spirit word this year, figuring it would be a lot more fun to strive for each day, but I figured a bunch of you would think that was cheating.

We'll see how purposeful works out.

~*~

Dana Does Digital

It's back ...

Unlike all of you other P365 lemmings, I started back on my Project 365 blog on December 16th.

'Cause I'm special ...

This year, my P365 blog is less about MUST.TAKE.THE.BEST.PHOTO, and more about a quick snippet of my day. Hopefully I'll get a decent photo in there on occasion, but if you decide to follow that blog you'll more often find a photo of Cam's closet, or a McRib than you will some wonderfully composed landscape shot.

That's purposeful ...

My Name Is Dana And I Am A Project 365 Quitter

Photo Credit

By now, most of you have at least heard about Project 365, and a lot of you have probably attempted one yourself.

I took on my first Project 365 (Dana Does Digital) in 2010. I made it through the year, taking (and usually posting) a picture a day. It was, at times, more painful than accidentally chewing on a piece of aluminum foil. 

I vowed to never do one again ...

Until 2012.

Suddenly, it seemed like a good idea (I'm guessing this is a similar phenomena to the one that allows people to have more than one child).

41 days into the 2012 project, I quit.

There were several reasons why I quit, but it really boiled down to setting unrealistic expectations (for myself and the project) and feeling like a failure when I didn't meet those expectations. 

I'd rather quit than fail to meet my unreasonable expectations.

What's that you say? That attitude is a little self-defeating??

Yeah ... well ...

I really do like the Project 365 premise, but how do I get past the must-take-one-excellent-photo-each-day-and-post-it-that-same-day-with-some-witty-banter-attached-or-I-am-a-failure mentality?

I set lower reasonable expectations.

1. I will remind myself that for me, this endeavor is less about the quality of the photos and more about the memories. It's just another means of documenting a period of my life, and I give myself permission to post crappy, unedited photos.

2. I will not start my Project 365 on January 1st. I hate New Year's resolutions almost as much as I hate Jell-O, yet for some reason I decide it's a good idea to start my Project 365 on January 1st? Pffffttttt! I'll start when I want to (I am such a rebel).

3. I will take at least one photo every day, but I will give myself permission to miss a day (or several) of posting a picture to the Dana Does Digital blog, catching up when I can. I will not invite needless guilt into my life by beating myself up over it "not really counting as a Project 365 blog" if I don't post to the blog daily (and yes, this was the the single issue that contributed most to my decision to quit this year after only 41 days).

4. I will use technology to my advantage. I have installed 365 Photo App on my phone and will use it, without fear of judgement, to capture moments in time. I will approach this project as an artist (in the loose, artsy-fartsy sense) rather than as an aspiring photographer, using all imaging resources available to me.

I think I've really limited my success with this project by setting cumbersome and arbitrary rules for what Project 365 should or should not be.

Some might say the practice of setting cumbersome and arbitrary rules of what  should or should not be has crept into more than just my Project 365 life.

Maybe there is a lesson here *smirk*

I'll let you know when I start the project again.

It's Raining Visitors - Part II

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Last week I wrote about my exciting and impromptu visit with Desert Rat. In true my life is a roller coaster fashion (I was on an uphill swing) the following Sunday I had more visitors - Sujomi and her Handsome Husband drove up to Podunk to have lunch with me.

(Handsome Husband is a little shy)

Sujomi was my primary inspiration for doing the Dana Does Digital Project 365 blog last year, so it's no surprise that we spent the majority of our visit taking photos.

You can see Sujomi's photos [HERE] and [HERE] (she's amazing - go look!). I decided to be brave and pull out the new to me DSLR and shot a few of my own ...

This tree had actually "swallowed" the barbed wire in places

NUTS! That had obviously been broken into by some critter

Bits and pieces of memories, dumped in a farmer's field

An old window frame, discarded by the wind only to land precariously

Rusted wheels that have likely seen many harvests

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What Comes After 999?

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I don't often celebrate these kinds of things - a blog is narcissistic enough without tooting your horn over every perceived monumental blog moment.

But? 1000 posts really is an achievement. In the 3+ years I've been out here, I've seen a LOT of blogs come, go, go private, be deleted, come back reinvented and go stagnant (and I wish they'd delete the fuckers because stagnant blogs are taking up some good names).

If I count the guest posts I've done over at Real Live Lesbian, the Project 365 blog and tumblr (which I am convinced is NOT really a blog but twitter on steroids) I'm probably closer to 1500 posts. Now that's a lot of wasted time!

Anyway, I want to thank all of you ... yes ... even you! Oh, and let's not forget YOU! Although I put the drivel out here, you all reflect it back at me. It is your input - your comments - your trollish and stalking ways, that have helped me be a better person.

I was chatting with a friend last night who, at one point said (it was close to this - I wish I had saved the chat), "I see you how you are. Not through the lens of your experiences."

I had a moment - a moment where it became clear that I most closely identify with my failures. I am three failed marriages. I am Alan's suicide. I am the reason my father is an alcoholic. That is how I see myself when I look through the lens of my experiences.

He reminded me that is not who I am. Yes, I have experienced those things, they have shaped me in good and bad ways, but I am not those things. I am so much more than those things.

I think there are a few of you out there who have been trying to tell me this for years - it finally sunk in.

Thank you! Seriously ... for helping me find myself Amid Life's Crises! Yeah ... that was corny, but kind of clever, no? Wait! Don't answer that!

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Friday Wrap-Up

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So ... I've been a little lackadaisical with blog posting as of late, but something tells me none of you noticed because you've been a little lackadaisical with blog reading ... not that I'm BITTER or anything ... just concerned for your well being! No! Really!! OK, maybe not ...

~*~

Cam has been home from camp for a whole week and he is now making plans to leave Saturday for another week. One of his friends' family is headed up to Michigan on Saturday and Cam was invited to tag along. The dad has OK'd the idea but we are waiting for mom to have her say.

*CONFIRMED* Cam will be heading to Michigan Saturday and will return on my birthday - I'm sure he planned that intentionally, don't you think??

Yes, today is Friday and they are leaving bright and early tomorrow morning. Nothing says procrastination quite like waiting until the last minute to confirm a week-long trip. Or is that considered spontaneity? Guess it depends on which side of the fence you are standing on.

Which blogger wants to be on my "hit list" this week? I need a road trip!

~*~

I WON!! I seldom enter contests which means I don't often win anything *d'oh* but when I can enter by default (i.e. leaving a comment on a blog I read and comment on every day anyway) I don't win either. Guess I can't say that any more! Lynn, over at Real Live Lesbian, recently went to China and ran a random number generated comment contest for a prize package of Chinese goodies. In some cosmic freak of nature, out of all of her commentors, Jay and I were the two winners.

I was all aflutter when the box arrived last Saturday. I placed it on the kitchen storage cart and ... and ... I still haven't opened it! What is wrong with me?? (Don't go there, the list is LONG). Well, I want to vlog the opening of the box and share all of it's contents with you guys, but I haven't had any peace and quiet since Cam came home a chance to do that. Besides, I'm a HUGE fan of delayed gratification. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

If you are not as good as I am with self-deprivation, you can zip over [HERE] to see what Jay got!

~*~

I kind-of-sort-of won something kind-of-sort-of related to my Project 365 blog this week too! Yesterday, I was wasting my employers time gossiping on Twitter hard at work when the following tweet popped up:


Those of you who are not science geeks and/or do not live in this area won't have a clue what Fermilab is. Even if you are a science geek, you are probably like me and still have very little idea what they actually do at Fermilab, but you might be familiar with the odd looking sculpture that welcomes their visitors. Here's the deal ... Fermilab = High-Energy Physics, the science of matter, space and time. How cool is that??

So I click on the Twitter link and read this:

Fermilab invites local photographers, both amateurs and professionals, to a 3-hour, behind-the-scenes Photowalk of the laboratory on Saturday, August 7, 2010. Photographers will be able to visit, explore and take photos of people, objects and locations in five research areas that are usually not accessible by the public. Advance registration is required.

The Fermilab Photowalk is part of the global Particle Physics Photowalk that takes place on this day at five particle physics laboratories in five countries. Participating laboratories are: CERN (Switzerland), DESY (Germany), Fermilab (USA), KEK (Japan) and TRIUMF (Canada).

I'm reading this and getting more excited than I did the last time I had sex! I *MUST* GO! Not because I think I'm all that in the photography world (contrary to popular belief, I am quite humble) but because they have the Large Hadron Collider - the most powerful particle accelerator in the world!

But only the first 50 who send an email will secure a spot? And this tweet was just retweeted by @ThinkGeek? I scurried over to the submission form and hit enter, hoping I might at least get high enough up on the waiting list that someone who was just trying to win, but didn't really want to go, would vacate their slot and I'd get a last minute call to come on out.

Then, late yesterday afternoon, I got the following email:

Dear Photographer,

Congratulations. You are among the first 50 people who signed up for the Fermilab Photowalk. Please arrive at the Fermilab site no later than 7:45 a.m. on Saturday, August 7, 2010, and tell the guard that you are participating in the Photowalk. Ask the guard for directions to Fermilab’s Wilson Hall. The registration will take place in the atrium of Wilson Hall (first floor).

I swear ... I had multiple orgasms just reading that! And yes, I *am* going to walk in with 49 other photographers who will likely be carrying HUGE photography equipment bags containing 18 different lenses. And what will I have?? My $149 Sony point-and-shoot camera in my pocket. And you know what? I'm going to take some phenomenal photos!

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Friday Wrap-Up (Freedom Edition)

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Ooohhhh! Looky here! It's a change to the blog layout! *GASP* Can you believe it?? Almost FOUR years of the same blog template and just like that I jump in and make the change. If you only know what a HUGE issue that was for me!

~*~

The countdown begins! One week from tomorrow I will be dropping Cam off at the church for a week of church camp in Wisconsin. That's right, seven glorious days of freedom - freedom from the phrases, "I'm Bored," "Can I buy another song from iTunes?" and the droning of "We don't have anything to eat." *For the record, we have food, it just require some sort of preparation and is not loaded with sugar and other non-nutrients!*

I'm actually considering taking that first Monday off that he is gone (June 28th if anyone is wondering) and heading out on a road trip Saturday right after slowing down and kicking him out of the car dropping him off at the church and walking in with him to insure he is well taken care of.

~*~

Speaking of road trips ... MY CAR IS FIXED!! There were two HUGE concerns with my car: the brakes (or lack there of) and the rear suspension (or lack there of).

This week, husband footed the $440 repair bill to have the rear suspension replaced. Seriously people, driving my car had become akin to driving into turn four of Talladega loose - very loose (I just lost a few of you non-NASCAR fans, didn't I?).

I hadn't realized just how much I was fighting the car in my everyday driving until everything was fixed. Now I can even go 75 mph without the rear end sliding out from under me! I've got an appointment Saturday at Firestone for a front-end alignment, tire rotation and an oil change and Cavy will be ready to hit the road!

Ahhhh! I was so completely isolated and now I am FREE!!

~*~

I want to thank you all for the support on the decision to make amends with Alan's suicide. I received an email from a reader who congratulated me on moving forward. My response to him was that this really isn't moving forward, but rather finding closure so that I have a better shot at moving forward.

I have contacted a local Chicago tattoo artist, sharing my story with her, sending her pics of Alan's rose along with components of what I want and am allowing her complete artistic freedom to design the tat for me. This morning I paid my $50 deposit to hold my September 13th appointment. No ... I didn't delay that appointment ... she is *that* in demand that 12-14 week waits are the norm.

Just to give you an idea of how good this artist is, here is the tat she did for Aunt Becky of Mommy Wants Vodka. Just try to tell me this isn't freakin' awesome work! Now, I need one of you to volunteer to go with me ... seriously!!

~*~

I haven't included a "my favorite" from my Project 365 photo blog in quite some time, so thought I should get on that this week. Anyone surprised I'm still keeping up with that one? Let me just say that it really is difficult to keep two "creative" blogs interesting and current. Yet another one of those tasks that - had I known how difficult it would be - I probably wouldn't have done it!

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Friday Wrap-Up - Life Lesson Edition

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I haven't had a week like this in a long time ... thank goodness! To steal a phrase from Maggie, it was a CRAPTACULAR week! I suppose I should have verified the definition of that word before using it. Or I could just go with the assumption that it is a compound word. CRAPPY + SPECTACULAR = CRAPTACULAR. My math skill are much better than my written language skills.

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If you've been reading me this week, you know that I've got a Manifest Determination Review to prepare for. The date is now firm (April 28th - and we all know how much I like my dates to be firm) and I can begin to build my case. Although I was initially quite concerned about this meeting (and still am from a perspective of how we got here) I am now looking forward to the process!

I know that sounds a little goofy, but I have something going into this meeting that I've never had before - knowledge! Not only do I know exactly what to expect (and how to stop the review should they deviate from the process) but I've been researching how school district personnel prepare for these meetings - what information they are likely to present to sway the decision their way.

It's an opportunity for me to use my paralegal degree/skills and although I truly wish I wasn't using them for a situation involving Cam, I am grateful that I realized just how much "power" I do have in this situation if I just assert myself.

Maybe this was a life lesson in disguise?

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I had to trade in my plate for a serving platter yesterday. What?? Well, I had a little more added to my plate and all of the things that need dealing with began to fall off, so I traded the proverbial plate in for the proverbial platter!

I've got a bit of a bum knee. I had arthroscopic surgery on my right knee about 6 years ago (after a significant softball injury). It has been much better than it was before the surgery, but never quite 100%.

The past two weeks, my knee has taken on a life of it's own. In fact, it seemed to be supporting some alien within. I couldn't ignore it any longer and went to my family physician ... who took one look at it, wrote a Rx for an anti-inflammatory (dosed through a topical patch - my first experience with that), and referred me to an orthopedist. Great!

I'm having to focus on myself - my healing - and I find that bothersome.

Another life lesson?

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I'm in week 2 of my participation in the 2010 ABL Fantasy Baseball League and I'd just like to state - publicly - that I am NOT a gracious loser? I don't like to lose - so much so that I usually won't even play a game if I don't believe I have a fighting change at winning. In an attempt to work on my fear of failure, I decided to participate in this Fantasy Baseball League.

Here's the deal. I know how to play baseball. I know the rules. I know how to keep a score book (yes, the "old fashion" way). I know how to figure batting averages. I know there is an American League and a National League. And I can probably tell you the mascots of each team.

But I don't follow professional baseball players. I can't tell you who is on which team. I can't tell you who has the best batting average in the National League. I can't name any starting pitchers for any of the teams in Major League Baseball. Hell, I can't even tell you which team is an American League team and which team is a National League team. This puts me at a significant disadvantage.

Let's just say I'm not handling this fear of failure very well. I'm ready to quit rather than deal with feeling like the laughing stock of the Fantasy League. I know that no one cares that I'm a LOSER not doing well. They are focused on winning, not on berating the LOSER causing anyone else to lose.

Yes, I can see this might be a life lesson too.

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Here are my two favorite photos of the week from my Project 365 blog. I can't seem to find a life lesson on this topic *grin*

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Friday Wrap-Up

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I want to thank everyone for the warm welcome back. As you all know, it's been a rough road lately and although there are moments of extreme gratitude, the struggles seem never ending, overwhelming and hopeless much of the time. That said, the time spent away from the blog helped me to see that isolation probably isn't my best coping mechanism.

This weekend, I'm hoping to get back in the swing of reading and commenting on all of your blogs. I am certain that I missed all of you far more than you missed me! *grin*

~*~

A brief update on Cam, school and his educational evaluation.

The neuropsych evaluation was completed last week. I'll be sitting down with the Dr. on Tuesday to discuss the results and where we go from here. It's looking like the Aperger's was likely a "bad" label - leaning more toward the PDD-NOS, ADHD and "gifted" labels (I hate the gifted label more than any other educational label as I truly believe ALL children - ALL people - are "gifted").

I remain frustrated with the fact that Cam currently has no high school placement, yet there are bunches of summer opportunities, with looming deadlines, that I cannot commit him to without placement.

Cam's band director has secured his use of an intermediate oboe assuming he'll track on to his "home" high school. Freshman football camp registration is due in the next few weeks at Cam's "home" high school. Band Camp (again, Cam's "home" high school) registration is due in just four weeks. And all that I can do is sit and wait and hope that we can get a placement for Cam in time, or at least get waivers if we miss critical deadlines.

It's difficult to do nothing even when there is nothing that can be done.

~*~

I attended a special education advocacy seminar last weekend put on by the "premier" special education advocacy/law organization - Wright's Law.

The seminar was titled From Emotions to Advocacy and was filled with useful information and tools. It also brought to my attention that most of what I've been doing has been WRONG. Fortunately, I now have a better understanding of the system - how it works - and how I can work within it to have a better chance of getting the things Cam needs to be successful.

I feel more empowered and I definitely have a much clearer vision of the direction I need to go. Even better? The principles really apply to all parts of life, not just navigating special education, and have the potential to make me a better person all around.

~*~

The one thing I did keep up with during my little blog hiatus was my Project 365 Dana Does Digital blog. Seems photography can be just as therapeutic as writing, and communicating emotions through photos seems a natural substitute when I can't get the words down on "paper."

Here are my favorite photos from this week:

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Enjoy your weekend!

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Friday Wrap-Up (School Version)

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Ahhh ... Friday ...

Today I'll get back to some sort of normalcy, hopefully for quite some time.

Cam heads back to school today. Although his suspension was up Tuesday (he was eligible to return Wednesday) there were some "issues" that needed to be worked through in order to make his return to school a positive one (*crosses fingers*).

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Cam's neuropsych eval continues. This has been an interesting process and will likely change what I think I know. What started out as an estimate of two 3-hour sessions has turned into at least four 3-hour sessions. The process has been following the onion adage - each time a layer is peeled back it becomes clear there are more layers to pull back.

I've had to adjust to the idea that Cam may have a "less glamorous" diagnosis - but hopefully I will soon have the data that will help him most.

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There have been several comments about my being too close to this situation to be most effective in securing an appropriate education for Cam. I do believe there is some truth there, but ... that's as good as it gets right now.

Karen mentioned that she thought advocates might be provided for students at no cost. There is ONE, district "sponsored" advocate that works with Cam's school district (the 6th largest school district in Illinois). ONE. I've been trying to work with her for about a month now, but at this point I can't even get her to return a phone call, my guess is because she is COMPLETELY overwhelmed.

The good news is that Cam's neuropsych goes above and beyond what is "typical" and will be available to present all of the testing data to the school district and will be making MEDICALLY based recommendations for Cam's placement. This is HUGE. Often times a doctor (choose your favorite flavor) makes a diagnosis then sends you on your way. It will be a wonderful advantage to have the doctor who gathered the data present the data - in person - to the school district.

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I mentioned moving to another state this week and yes, I really am serious about this. Part of my frustration with Cam's school experience is a frustration with Illinois' management of education funding - specifically the additional $12,000 Cam's school should be receiving because Cam is on an IEP.

The BBC recently did a story on Illinois financial crisis ... the BBC. I thought I'd share the link for anyone interested. Understand, the district they filmed is near and dear - a suburban/rural district - a district with high property taxes that fund one of the highest per pupil expenditures in the state. This is one of the best districts Illinois has to offer.

BBC News - World News America - Illinois faces budget crisis

Illinois, the state President Obama once called home, is in a 'crisis of epic proportions' according to its Governor. The state is struggling to pay its bills and is considered by some to be on the edge of bankruptcy.

There are obviously problems I cannot fix (yes, I actually am aware of that) and this might be one of them. One of the benefits of states managing education is that I can move to another state that does a better job, and I have almost instant access to school district data via the internet.

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Favorite Dana Does Digital entries this week ...

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Friday Wrap-Up (Angry Version)

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I follow Cam's school district on Twitter. Yesterday afternoon this tweet came across:

We must unfortunately consider releasing teachers at Monday's Board meeting as the state considers chopping funds

Is it bad that my first thought was, "I've got one in particular I'd like to nominate!"

~*~

I've had several people ask me if I'm OK. I always wonder how it is I am supposed to answer that inquiry. I mean, I know they are genuinely concerned, but what I want to say (and have said to at least one person) is:

No ... I'm not OK ...

My son made a threat against a school - a school that seems to be systematically attempting to accomplish an agenda that is better for them without any concern as to the well being of my son!

I want to hire an attorney but I can't afford the retainer for one and can't seem to find one who is willing to work for free.

My job is now on the line because the stress of my personal life is starting to negatively impact my job performance.

I thought I had already "lost" everything and yet now I'm finding that there is even more to lose and that no matter how hard I hold on, it continues to slip through my fingers.

And I feel like I am completely and totally alone in this. Sure, I can lean on you guys for emotional support, and I don't know where I would be without that, but at the end of the day I walk into a very empty house.

No ... I'm not OK ...

~*~

This week has been filled with reality check moments - finally coming to grips with some of the more negative realities of my life. One of those moments came yesterday when dlk24 made he following comment on my post:

[I would] pack it in, quit my job and move me and my child to a place where I would have emotional support

That sounds so good right now ... if I had a place to go where I would have emotional support. But the reality is that I don't. Neither my mother nor my father are emotionally balanced enough to offer emotional support. Moving near them opens the doors for an even more dysfunctional environment.

No one in my community has any interest in being there for emotional support. I've got the kid who threatened to blow up their little snowflake's middle school. They need to be protected from the evils of children like Cam, not be there for support. I'm more likely to find a bucket of tar and a bag of feathers on my doorstep than I am a "friend" in my community.

Church? Much the same way. The more issues Cam has at school, the worse his behavior becomes at church. He's been kicked out of small group the last two weeks for behavior issues. Last Wednesday he said, "I'm just a bad kid. I can't do anything right. Not at school. Not at church. It's just who I am."

So someone please tell me where that utopia of support is OK? 'Cause when I look around to all of the places it should be, I see a lot of closed doors, not open arms.

~*~

This week's favorite Dana Does Digital photos ...

NOTE: I have disabled any further comments on this post.

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Friday Wrap-Up

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It's been a while since I did one of these - or any regular blogging for that matter - so I thought I'd get off my duff and give y'all an update ... 'cause I'm a giver like that ...

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School continues to be an issue ... which I expected. Although there was a different tone to the meeting we had last week (having a parent advocate does change how teachers and staff present themselves) the results have been the same.

They agreed to some temporary accommodations (modified writing assignments, PE and band used as privileges for classwork completion) until I had an opportunity to do some research and make an informed decision on Cam's placement. In the past week, they have not modified a single assignment and they are pulling him out of PE and band to do "classwork" that none of his other classmates are required to turn in.

Neither the district nor the advocate has had ANY contact with me since the meeting, although I did contact the advocate yesterday to let her know how the school is "handling" the new accommodations and she promises a call back.

The only good that has come of this has been that Cam has made strides in using class time more effectively and homework - although still a struggle - has become a little more manageable for both of us.

~*~

This was the major project this week. Actually, Cam has been working on this project since early December. Here in Illinois, 8th grade science fair is kind of a right of passage. The kids are not required to participate in the "formal" Illinois Junior Academy of Science (IJAS) Science Fair, but they are expected to put together a science fair project that could compete.

Cam's topic? Paper Airplanes - Effects of design on flight distance. I was not at all familiar with this process - we didn't have a mandatory science fair back in the olden days when I went to school. The biggest challenge in this was trying to keep Cam motivated for 3 months, but yesterday was the culmination of this great event - Cam turned in his Science Fair poster board. It's a good thing too. I think he was as tired of paper airplanes as I was!

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We had a little bit of excitement last night. I got a call from the school at about 2PM. Of course I knew this was the principal calling to tell me Cam was suspended for some impulsive action. Imagine my surprise when I answered the phone and it was the school nurse.

Cam, being Cam, decided scaling a 5-1/2 foot cinder block dividing wall in the locker room made more sense than waiting for his locker room buddies to finish up what they were doing and move out of his way.

In the process, he managed to get his foot caught up in part of the wall and landed hard on his hip, wrist and face.

We spent our Thursday afternoon/evening at an emergency visit to the dentist to repair the teeth (it appears it was just cosmetic damage, but we won't know for a couple of weeks) and then spent a few hours at urgent care for x-rays (he's got a hip pointer and a sprained wrist). He's battered and bruised, but will be fine. I'm actually letting him stay home today to recover from his stupidity injuries.

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Goodness! That turned into Cam update didn't it? That's pretty much where my focus has had to be over the last few weeks.

I am managing to keep up with the Project 365 blog (Dana Does Digital) and here are my two favorite pictures from this week:

Have a great weekend!

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Friday Wrap-Up

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What a week! Fortunately it was one of those that started out really rough (understatement) and got a bit better each day. If I have to choose, I'll take one of those weeks over one that starts out great and gets progressively worse any day!

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I'm considering adding a new member to our family. No, I'm not hoping to be the first woman to give birth to nonuplets (yes, I did have to google that). I MISS MY KITTIES!! Well, specifically Gizmo.

Husband has custody of the cats - all three of them. It made sense for them to stay together, and three of them in the apartment would have been too much, but I do miss them. I posted that thought on Facebook.

*SIDE NOTE* Call me a stuck-up bitch trying to hide part of my life if you want, but seldom do I "friend" people on Facebook who read my blog. If you've asked and I've declined, it's nothing personal, it's just that I use Facebook to keep in touch with extended family and Aunt Vicki in Spokane doesn't need to read all of the gory details of my life.

Lo-and-behold, one of my local friends has TWO cats that need to be re-homed as her new apartment does not allow pets.

Radar and Scooter may become new family members, assuming they are neutered, have their shots up-to-date and are indoor cats. We shall see ...

~*~

One of the posts this week that generated quite a bit of discussion was the Mistakes are Yours to Make post. As is often the case, a few people read far more into that post than was intended, but a few people honestly didn't realize they were making it more difficult for folks to comment on their blogs with word verification - so they changed it. Howard over at In Purple I'm Stunning was one of those people.

But something else came up in his post that made me think. This is not a slam on his commenters, but one did mention there are things about my blog that she doesn't like. Of course there are! Shucks, there are people who stop by here and wonder why the hell I'm even blogging. I'm OK with that.

That said, I have to wonder if there are things I am doing unintentionally (or maybe even on purpose) that annoy you guys. I'm not promising that I'll change anything, but take this as the one and only invitation you'll ever get to BLAST me at will. Seriously!

I won't be responding to any of that input (unless someone is asking for clarification) as it would certainly be defensive, but I am always looking for ways to improve the blog without losing its usefulness to me. Go ahead! Fire away!

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I've been doing a little self-promoting on Fridays, posting my favorite photo from my Project 365 blog for the previous week. I was pretty proud of my pics this week and couldn't limit it to just one, so y'all get to see two of them today!

Hope y'all have a GREAT weekend!

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Friday Wrap-Up

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It's been one heck of a week. I have been drowning in school issues surrounding Cam. Not only did I have issues with the homework website and Cam's math teacher, but those resulted in me receiving the following email from the principal:

From now on, I would prefer that any correspondence with the core teachers come through me. I will make sure your concerns are brought to the teachers attention in a timely fashion and that the teacher responds to the concerns through me. Hopefully this will help eliminate some of the tension that is occurring. This would only apply to the core teachers. Feel free to e-mail [the vice principal], [the social worker], or [Cam’s special education case worker] and continue to cc me when you e-mail them.

Anyone want to guess how well that went over? If you guessed, "Like a turd in a punchbowl" you'd be right! You want involved parents, but you won't let me correspond/contact the teachers directly? You've got to be kidding. Off to the school I went.

The good news is that within 45 minutes the issue was resolved. In other words, I will be corresponding/contacting the teachers directly. The bad news is that I made the math teacher cry - apparently several times and over a period of 3 days - because she felt I was questioning her professionalism and integrity. She was right! I was!

This came down to my lack of warm-fuzzy communication. As I told the principal, I communicate directly so that I can resolve issues and move forward. I don't have time to make sure no one's feelings get hurt. Doing the warm-fuzzy thing just muddles the communications.

I was told I should consider trying harder to be nice. I responded that the Math teacher should consider trying to grow a thicker skin. I heard a lot about it being an uneven playing field - parents can question the actions/abilities of teacher but teachers cannot question the actions/abilities of parents. I agree. That is the case. It's what happens when you choose to go into any service type industry whether that be working in retail or being a teacher. I have empathy, but it doesn't change anything.

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Husband switched from drama-free to drama-inducing this week. He called me Sunday night and just let into me about finances. Seemed overly concerned about how my "uncontrollable spending" (i.e. his refusal to contribute to BASIC household expenses) might require him to pay off my debt. I really wanted to hang up on him right after explaining that marriage meant it wasn't his debt and my debt, but rather our debt and he should have considered that when he was telling me he could have helped but felt he needed to teach me a lesson. Instead, I sat there quietly and repeated, "I am taking care of my finances. You need not be concerned."

I did call him back about 30 minutes later to ask if something happened that I needed to be aware of. Did a creditor show up at the door? Had someone called? He explained that he was under a great deal of stress and his actions had NOTHING to do with me. He then told me he thought to himself, "Wow! I was really being a dick!" about 10 seconds after he hung up the phone. I told him that I was thinking that about 10 seconds into the conversation.

Umm ... hello? Did it ever dawn on you that might be a problem you needed to work on? Personally, I think he now has no one to dump on like he had when Cam and I were living in the house and that is EXACTLY why he called and dumped on me. It was a gentle reminder - at a perfect time - as to why I left.

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I'm off to another church conference with Cam this weekend. You might remember
the Birds, Bees and Purity post from this time last year. This is the second conference in that series - this year dealing with manners and modesty. It starts tonight with a "formal" (i.e. Cam has to wear a tie) dinner at which I will be Cam's "date". He will learn about taking his date's coat, pulling out her chair, etc. Cam should do exceptionally well in this portion of the conference. I am, after all, the manners maniac.

I am really looking forward to the modesty portion of this conference, especially since I have one of those low pants wearing, walk like a penguin to keep them from falling completely off, kids. When he is with me, Cam knows I better not see his underwear hanging out of his jeans. He can wear his pants low, but he better have a shirt long enough to cover what should be covered by his pants. I have no doubt this requirement is overlooked when I am not within screaming distance.

I also have pretty significant issues with modesty of middle school girls. Seriously, have you seen some of the stuff the 12-14 year old crowd is wearing? Padded and push-up bras, cleavage bearing tops, bare midriffs, jeans so low the red lace thong hangs out like a whale tail when they sit down. I'm so glad I don't have a girl!

Anyway, there will be a fashion show - kind of a DO's and DON'T's, if you will, with the adults wearing over-exaggerated versions of inappropriate middle school dress, and actual middle schoolers wearing a more modest version of the same outfit. Should prove to be quite interesting!

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Don't forget I've got the Project 365 blog - Dana Does Digital. I post a picture a day, a quote and a little blurb about the events that led up to the picture. It's kind of like a Facebook status update blog style. Here is yesterday's photo:

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Friday Wrap-Up

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A few of you asked how the IT server migration turned out last week. That wonderful idea to shut down the server that hosts the accounting software on the busiest day of the accounting year? Yeah ... well ...

They assured us they'd make our server the priority and it would be back up in 30 minutes. Can anyone guess how accurate that was? We were back up 1 hour and 47 minutes after they took us off-line. Even better? My employer let everyone go at 2:30PM on New Year's Eve and IT was walking out the door promptly at 2:30PM. Guess where I was? That's right ... sitting at my desk trying to get through the work that had to be completed before I left. I was here until 4PM.

Golly! If I'd have had that 1 hour and 47 minutes of WORK TIME during the WORK DAY, I could have left at 2:30PM too! Bitter? Just a wee bit.

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Speaking of bitter and work ... We were notified today that the natural gas will be shut off to our building beginning at 11AM and will (hopefully) be turned back on at 1PM. This means we will have no heat in the building for those two hours. Granted, the IT department isn't in charge of this shut down so it might actually last only two hours, but again, is the middle of the word day the best time to do this?

I went to the "Big Dog" and inquired about making the day a "casual" Friday (we don't have those here - men are required to wear ties daily and women are encouraged to wear skirts/dresses) so that we might be better able to keep warm during the gas shut down. And the response was?? I'm wearing a dress today!

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Thanks for all of the feedback on the PTO issue. I've decided that I will make my position on the matter clear, then let it go. I will vote against any measure that excludes any parent from being a voting member of the organization and will continue to use my "executive board" member vote to advocate for the student/parent population not represented by the PTO membership.

Then I'll be grateful that most of the "executive board" members have younger kids and will likely continue running the middle school PTO rather than moving on to the High School PTO!

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Confession time ...

Remember when I told y'all that I was adding the Project 365 Blog (Dana Does Digital - if you haven't been over there you're missing out, so here is a little preview to entice you)?



Anyway, I mentioned that didn't foresee it changing anything about this blog. Well, that does seem to be the case, but something is changing this blog - LOD!

LOD you ask? Why yes! Lack Of Drama! I didn't realize how much I blogged about the craziness that my life had become until there wasn't so much craziness to blog about. Now I'm really struggling to come up with things to write about.

I must keep reminding myself this is a good thing!

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HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

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Pardon Me While I Pull My Hair Out

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Year end duties at work have my full attention right now. As soon as I sort through the muck I'll be back to piss you off entertain you!

You can always click on over to Dana Does Digital where you know you'll find a picture a day ... and even a few words to go along with them!

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Friday Wrap-Up

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Happy New Year!

2009 was an interesting year, to say the least! Some might find much that was wrong with it, yet I am one of those people who feels there really isn't such a thing as a "bad" year - just years that offer lessons and years that offer growth. I think 2009 held a little bit of both for me!

I'm not one who does the whole New Year's resolution thing. I prefer to do a little reflecting on how I can make myself a better person and keep those things in the front of my mind, striving towards them whether it is January 1st or August 17th.

I'm excited about this coming year. I've cut the ties that had been holding me down and look forward to see where this new life will take me.

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Don't forget to visit the new Project 365 blog - Dana Does Digital! It's up and running with picture 1 of 365 posted.

I'm working on a blog roll of Project 365 blogs, so if you are participating and would consider your blog content to be rated R or under, leave me a comment and I'll add you to the list. I'm trying to keep the Project 365 blog somewhat family friendly!

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#157
And...here we go!

1. Last night I ate Chinese food, took a nap, then rang in the New Year with a great bunch of friends on Blog Talk Radio!
2. I am REALLY looking forward to this year.
3. The funniest thing I've heard in a long time was Kim attempting the ABC's in her intoxicated state last night.
4. I'm out of toilet paper ... so where do we go from here?
5. He said "What's up?"; she said obviously not you.
6. There's a golden ring on the carousel and it's up to us to find it.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to having no plans, tomorrow my plans include dinner with my step-daughter at husband's house and Sunday, I want to get laundry done and mentally prepare myself for the looming five month, gotta go to work every day, span of the year!

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