10 Things Thursday | I'm baaaccckkkkk

1. Y'all know that I have an unreasonable love of Post-It-Notes, vacuum cleaners, and all things LEGO, but this? LEGO molds made to be used with Jell-O (Jell-O being one of my unreasonable fears)?? NO! JUST NO!!
2. I learned about Airbnbs on a trip to Colorado a few years ago ... and I fell in love! Far better than staying in a stuffy hotel room off of exit 270 just outside of some Podunk town. What I didn't know is that people have trailers for "glamping" listed on Airbnb. The Land Yacht and Vintage Caravan in California, and the Yellow Sub in New Mexico are on top of my to-do list!
3. Summer is winding down in Las Vegas (thank goodness), but thought this was appropriate late summer humor

   

   (via xkcd)

4. How in the hell does this country have 2.5 billion pounds of surplus meat and 1.39 billion-pound surplus of cheese, and yet 1 in 6 children do not know where they will get their next meal? I am just floored by the inefficiencies and waste in this country!
5. Speaking of food ... did you know that one of the perks of working at a Facebook tech campus is free food in the cafeteria? Cities that house these campuses are fighting back due to a loss of local business. See? Facebook is evil on many levels! 
6. And since we are talking about Facebook, do you need a Facebook/tumblr/twitter/YouTube intervention? This little Chrome extension can help you out! I'll pass ... I already know that I spend WAY TOO MUCH TIME online.
7. Just about two years ago Cam and I went to the Hoover Dam and did the DAM tour

8. 

   PROOF

   It was a fascinating tour, and now learning that the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power is looking at adding a $3 billion pipeline and a pump station powered by solar and wind energy so that they can send water back to the top of the generators to help manage electricity at times of peak demand? Pretty dam cool (pun intended).
9. Are you ready for some football??? Bud Light has put ‘Victory Fridges’ in Cleveland to help Browns fans celebrate their first win ... FREE BEER!!! Well ... if you consider Bud Light Beer (I don't).
10. Can opener eye opener ... MIND BLOWN!!!

Where did my words go?

Did I use them up on twiter in 140 character bits?

Or was it on Facebook, where I spend more time telling people to simmer down rather than actually engaging in meaningful dialog

I suppose I could have depleted them on tumblr, although I've run out of things to say there as well

Honestly?

I think Mike took my words

And listened to them

And let me know that they make a difference

And now I need nowhere else to share them

Why I Hate Facebook

I have some social media pet-peeves. I know ... I know ... that surprises all of you, but I swear it's true!

One of those pet-peeves is when people post photos of people for the sole purpose of making fun of them.

What's that you say? It's no big deal? Everyone does it? I just don't know how to have fun?

What about when it is your parents who do it? Your parents who berated you for being fat most of your childhood? Your parents who said things like, "If you weren't such a cow, you wouldn't have fat friends."? Your parents who are now struggling with their own obesity issues?

Is it still funny?

Recently, my mom posted this photo on Facebook. The reference to it being taken in South Carolina is a dig at my aunt and uncle who lived there for years.

If that weren't bad enough, my dad adds his opinion.

Disgusting ...

She's garbage ...

Why not just plop me back in 1979 and have me relive my teen years. I've been on the receiving end of this nastiness from these two people more times than I care to count. And 30+ years later they're still at it?

If this were any of my other non-related friends on Facebook (or tumblr or twitter), I'd just unfollow. I don't see the entertainment value in making fun of others - even strangers. If that's your thing, go for it, but I choose not to be a part of it, or a part of you.

But this is family, and not just distant relatives, but my parents for goodness sakes! Unfriending or blocking them would be ... I don't know ... I just can't go there. But EGADS!

Enough already!

Where have all the bloggers gone?

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Long time passing
Where have all the bloggers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the bloggers gone?
Social Media has picked them every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

The more time I spend in social media (defined in this post as facebook, google+, tumblr and twitter), the more I miss traditional blogging. But have you tried to find a good blog to read lately?

I spent a good two hours on blogger the other day, hitting that NEXT BLOG link at the top of the page. That used to be a great way to discover new reads. Now? Most of the blogs I landed on hadn't had a new post in over two years.

*SIDE NOTE* I think there might be a business opportunity in starting up a final resting place for abandoned blogs

Let's be honest here, it's a lot easier to think up an ambiguous, sarcastic one-liner than it is to put 800 words together in a coherent and entertaining blog post. And in this immediate gratification society? Most readers have the attention span of a gnat with ADD - 140 characters is about all they can be bothered with.

If you've been hanging out here long enough, you know that I tend to be a traditionalist (not to be confused with an inflexible, routine driven old fogy). I don't believe the Constitution is a fluid document. I think HNT participants generally showed far too much skin. And I think real blogging is an art form that has been soiled by social media.

There is just something comforting about old school.

I used to worry that books would be replaced entirely by their e-versions as the iPad and Kindle became essential gadgets. Now? I believe the value of bound books lies in the way they touch your other senses - something e-books will never be able to do.

Just like books, I want to believe that real blogs will never go away entirely. Remember all of those fools who started up blogs 5 years ago because it was the thing to do? The ones who couldn't tell a story if their life depended on it? I think we called them mommy-bloggers for the most part.

*WINK* All of you mommy-bloggers who just read that sentence need to unbunch your panties now.

Real blogs? I think their value lies in the way they tell a story. Social media is little more than junk food for the brain. Real blogs? They are the meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy of the written word.

 

And I'm hungry!

Tell me, are you still reading real blogs regularly? What are some of your favorites? Are there any blogs I should be reading that I'm not?

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Clicking Is Caring

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Slacktivism, defined by the Urban Dictionary (next thing you know I'll be using Wikipedia citations) as:

the act of participating in obviously pointless activities as an expedient alternative to actually expending effort to fix a problem

Ahhhh ... remember the good old days? If you didn’t like the way things were you really had only two options - sit back and ignore it, or trudge out into the REAL world and fight it (which usually consisted of making picket signs, attending protest marches, writing multiple letters to the editor, and dialing hundreds of phone numbers - gathered from the phone book - using a rotary dial phone)!

No more! Now you can tell the world you support the invisible children of Uganda even though you likely cannot find Uganda on a world map! You can sign a petition to stop free closed captioning of TV programs from being eliminated. That's right! You can solve the world's problems with a retweet or a like/share on facebook!

There is no need to leave your sofa! Now you can be an activist without the risk ... well ... except for that damn carpel tunnel issue.

Just ask the Red Cross. Their national chapter has over 208,000 likes on Facebook and more than 200,000 twitter followers, yet in 2009, actual online monetary donations made up just 3.6% of private donations. In other words, hundreds of thousands of people like what the organization is doing (or at least want their "friends" to think they like what the organization is doing) and feel that liking what they are doing is good enough. Few are compelled to actually ... say ... spend their time or their money to show support.

In Malcolm Gladwell's New Yorker essay titled Small Change, he points out that the lunch counter sit-in at the Woolworth's in downtown Greensboro, North Carolina - an event that launched a civil-rights war that engulfed the South for most of the 60's - happened without e-mail, texting, Facebook, or Twitter.

And unlike campaigns launched on social media networks, real change was made.

Funny what happens when the change you are fighting for involves personal risk. Not the risk that you'll be unfollowed by someone you don't even know on twitter, or unfriended by your BFF from high school's teen daughter. I'm talking risk that might cause you to be arrested, lose your job, or even be killed.

Real risk ... for real change ...

Sure, you're reblogging/liking/retweeting of the Kony 2012 video made you look "enlightened" to the 1,782 idiotic followers you have, but those children in Uganda?

Still "invisible".

And the change you think you are creating with your slacktivism?

It's still invisible too!

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Friday Wrap Up

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Remember these? 

The little bits of the week that don't quite make up a blog post?

The weekly reflection of posts, comments and life in general?

Funny how rooted in tradition a blog can become. What? It's me who is rooted in tradition? You're kidding, right? I can be spontaneous ... or at least I can use spontaneous in a sentence!

***

In addition to leaving tumblr (with the door open) I've started spending a little more time on facebook (it's the only way I can play Bejeweled Blitz). As more and more of my family drinks the facebook Kool-Aid, it's also an efficient way to keep up with them ... and let them keep up with me.

The down side? Sometimes my dad talks about visiting porn sites on my facebook wall *rolls eyes*

***

Back to blogging just one week and I managed to pick up where I left off - irritating people who don't want to be publicly accountable, but do want to spew their vile rhetoric in a public forum.

My name is Dana and I am a troll.

I'm not the ugly kind of troll who hides under a bridge and leaves nasty comments anonymously, or the kind that writes comments and then deletes them so that the public can't see them but the writer can, or even the kind of troll who writes passive-aggressive posts in response to someone else's post never mentioning the person so that they can always claim they didn't say it.

Nope! I'm the kind of troll who will post a controversial opinion just to get people stirred up. The kind of troll who will call you on your shit in front of everyone without asking for your permission. Think of me as a Shrek troll. Shuddup! I know Shrek is an ogre, not a troll, but if he were a troll he would be just like me!

And you know what?

I'm good with that!

***

I need to do a Cam update (who is now officially old enough to drive and eligible to get his driver's license in June), a Voldemort update (my new nickname for "husband" because I know how much people love it when bloggers use aliases), and a "My-Favorite-Stalker" update (no, not you Kimmeh ... nor your buddy Denis).

Next week!

I promise!

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You're FIRED!

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While I was away, I spent most of my time obsessing over enjoying tumblr. My natural way of learning is to immerse myself in the interest du jour - try to figure it out - and once I do, become extremely bored with it. If there isn't a challenge, I have little interest

*SIDE NOTE* - this would be one of the key reasons I pretty much suck at relationships yet have a life-long commitment to math

I learned quite a bit about social media while I was drowning in it, and thought I'd share a few of those lessons ... 'cause I'm a giver like that

• Social media is all the same. The people who frequent facebook will tell you it's the only place to be - that people try to be something they're not on tumblr and twitter but facebook is the real deal.  The people on tumblr are TERRIFIED that the people of facebook will find them and ruin their ability to not have to be personally accountable for their words and actions.  And twitter? That's where people go to bitch about facebook and tumblr ... except when facebook and tumblr are down.  The bottom line?  Although the tools look a little different, they all accomplish the same thing - social chaos 

• Social media inspires mob mentality. Using their computer screen as armor, people will say things and do things they'd never consider if they were standing toe-to-toe with you.  And if they have a strong opposing opinion on something you've written?  They will rally the troops and cyberly pummel you. Fortunately, most people on social media aren't intellectually armed well enough to be successful in their hostile takeovers, but the sheer number of them is quite disturbing

• The same people who aren’t nice in real life aren’t nice on social media.  But here's the rub ... People who are nice in real life aren't necessarily nice on social media.  It is a strange phenomena. I'm convinced there are microscopic aliens living in keyboards and touchscreens throughout the world sucking all of the common sense and good judgment through the fingertips of those using them on social media sites

• Social media can feel like junior high school ... if you let it. You may think you are thick-skinned, but if you equate followers to friends, you are already taking a trip in the way-back machine.  This game moves fast.  People are busy.  They don't have the time or the desire to get to know you.  You are disposable.  One slip - one post that makes them question whether you like them or not and *POOF* BOOM! BOOM! Out go the lights!

• People say they write for themselves on social media. They are lying.  If that were the case, they wouldn't be on social media, they'd keep a diary between the mattresses on their bed.  Although often times people don't consider their audience on social media, they do write to the audience they hope (or think) they have, filtering out the "bad" stuff that might make others not like them. Social media exists for validation

• Social media is not for everyone. I think this was the most valuable lesson I learned.  I kept trying to be good at tumblr, facebook and twitter - good as defined by the majority.  I will never meet that standard. Just as some people will never be good at underwater basket weaving, some people fail at social media.  I got an "F" in social media. I will not be taking the course again

*DISCLAIMER* This post is filled with sweeping generalizations that will likely offend some. I don't care - being politically correct is too cumbersome and wordy, and no matter how hard you try not to, you'll always piss someone off anyway

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Do Something!

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Chooooo! Chooooo!

When I write things on this blog, I usually have an idea of where they'll go when the comments start flowing. There aren't often many surprises, but that wasn't the case Monday.

Let's talk briefly about Monday, then LET IT GO because this post is not intended to rehash my bad behavior, nor the content of Monday's post, but rather some of the comments on Monday's post ...

I was PISSED! I felt "wronged" (I have since had to humble myself a bit) and I was tired of taking the "higher" road. And by "higher" road I mean that the entire situation had sunk to the gutter - the "higher" road was pretty damn low.

I don't regret writing the post and I don't regret opening up the comments, even though they didn't go AT ALL where I thought they would go. Why no regrets? Because I am a little more self-aware than I was Monday, because of that post.

Try to follow me here, this is going to seem disjointed (and probably is), but ... *shrugs*

There has been a lot of attention on the suicide of Tyler Clementi as of late, but the focus has been on the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back (the hidden camera and distribution of the live stream video on a social network) and his sexual orientation, rather than what I believe actually killed him.

What do I believe killed Tyler? People just like snugs, DoggyBloggy and micky-t along with people who chose to do nothing.

It wasn't that single social media event that killed Tyler. It was the ongoing and constant berating, ostracizing and exclusion of Tyler in a "socially acceptable" (i.e. via social media) way that killed him.

Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei face charges for invasion of privacy (don't get me started on the failing of our laws in keeping up with technology) but every single person who watched that live stream and laughed or mocked Tyler, and every single person on the Rutger's Campus who knew what was going on but did nothing, are equally as guilty in Tyler's death.

What I find most disturbing about this story is that had Tyler not died by suicide, this wouldn't have been a story at all. Most people would have considered it just another instance of "harmless" social media jabs because we all know that in social media (facebook, twitter, blogs, comments on news stories, etc.) this behavior has become expected.

Really? Berating people is harmless and has become expected?? Think about that for a minute ...

Be honest. You've done it. I've certainly done it.

I'm not saying you should heap artificial praise anyone - we've seen where the "everyone is a winner" mentality has gotten us - but you don't need to be an ass just for the sake of being an ass, and at the expense of others. Conflict can be constructive.

For example, I received an email from Jay on Monday regarding my post. It was one of the most supportive emails I have ever received. It said things like ...

"I think [your post] was ridiculous, childish and low."

and ...

"Seriously, I used to be entertained by you guys but now it's getting old and kinda boring. And stupid."

and finally ...

"Basically, I'm rather disappointed in that blog post. I think it was beneath you."

You might read those lines and think I am being sarcastic when I say it was one of the most supportive emails I have ever received - you'd be wrong.

See? Jay didn't blow sunshine up my ass. He didn't take sides. He didn't berate me. But he did tell it like he saw it. He called me out. He held me accountable.

Jay wasn't trying to embarrass, humiliate or "take me down a notch" like snugs, DoggyBloggy and micky-t were. No, Jay was reminding me that I am a better person than that post indicated. Jay was supportive. Jay did something constructive.

How many times do we see "wrongs" and claim we are taking the high road by not addressing them? How many times do we say to ourselves, "That's too big of a problem for me to do anything about" and walk away? How many times do we do nothing because we are afraid of being wrong or making someone mad at us because we've taken sides?

Do something people! Grow a pair of fucking BALLS and take a stand! Be respectful, but hold people accountable for their unacceptable actions like Jay did for me.

Doing nothing is every bit as wrong as what snugs, DoggyBloggy and micky-t did and continue to do. Doing nothing indicates you see nothing wrong.

We are ALL better than that.

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Friday Wrap-Up

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Cam’s school district made The Tonight Show this week! It would be wonderful if this was because they were celebrating science fair winners, but that wasn’t the case. The School District Board of Education had to hold a special session this week to vote on an exception to the 2009-2010 school year calendar. Why is this monologue-worthy? Well, they happen to be one of a growing number of public schools who believe Veteran’s Day should now be an attendance day for students and teachers.

What bothers me most about this is the history (and attempted justification) of the School Board's position. The District Superintendent was quoted as saying, “Upon further conversation, we felt that this is really something that we can do in (our district). It would be a very, very powerful day for our kids to actually learn the significance (of Veterans Day) and to honor our veterans by actually being in school and learning about the contributions veterans have made to (our district).” Sounds great, doesn’t it? Spending the day learning why we celebrate the holiday?

Ummmm … Hello? Does this imply the district wasn’t teaching about Veteran’s Day when it was a non-attendance day? Shouldn’t that already be part of the public school curriculum whether kids are in school on that day or not??? Are the contributions of our Veteran's only important if the students attend school on the actual holiday?

That aside (and it is difficult for me to put that aside), the “real” reason this exception was requested has absolutely NOTHING to do with teaching the kids “…the significance (of Veterans Day).” Nope! At our PTO meeting last week, the principal informed us that the teachers and administrators wanted to swap Veteran’s Day for the one attendance day scheduled for Thanksgiving week. Ahhhh … this is all starting to make sense, isn’t it?

Parent/teacher conferences are scheduled for two of the three attendance days of Thanksgiving week – that left just one attendance day (and two teacher work days) during the holiday week. Presto-chango, the district moves conferences from Tuesday and Wednesday to Monday and Tuesday, and makes Wednesday a non-attendance day. The kids get the entire week of Thanksgiving off, the teachers and administrators get to start their Thanksgiving holiday on Wednesday rather than Thursday, and we all live happily ever after … that is, unless you are a veteran …

*EDIT* These are the holidays currently observed by my school district: Labor Day, Columbus Day, Non-Student Attendance Day (November 25 - observed instead of Veteran's Day), Thanksgiving Recess (November 26 & 27), Winter Recess (2 weeks), Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, President’s Day, April District Holiday (Good Friday), Spring Recess (1 week), Memorial Day

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I think I had an anonymous commenter yesterday who mistakenly thought I was an advice columnist. Either that or she was way off when she typed in www.dearabby.com She wrote:

Ummmm lets see. Where do I start? I was shown your interesting but yet disgusting pics by a friend. She was expressing her concern because this is something that her husband finds interesting. Which we cannot for the life of us figure out. Do you have some sort of spell on the guys that open these up? How else would they even find this attractive? Being a woman myself, I have to tell you that what you are doing is a disgrace to women. Just one more loser giving us a bad name. THANKS!!! It is obvious that you are desperate for attention. Its too bad that you have to get it by showing of what you call "ART". Not sure but Im thinking you may need to go back to school or at least pull out a dictionary so that you can find the true meaning of the word. Cause girl...art is meant to be beautiful and you sure haven't shown us anything of the sort yet!!!

With deepest sincerity...

Disgusted

Well … I can’t just let anon be lost out here in cyberspace without answers, can I?

Dear Disgusted,

Where do you start? The best place would be at www.blogger.com where you can sign yourself up for a Blogger profile. You don’t even have to start a blog, but we bloggers are a fickle bunch - we have far more respect for commenters who have the gonads (or, in your case, the lady bits) to stand up and be known when they have an adversarial opinion (i.e., at a minimum, set up a Blogger profile with an email address attached to it). In fact, most of us treat folks who take the time to do that with the utmost respect. But when you post anonymously, it just looks cowardly and petty. Anything you might have said that had an iota of value loses its mojo …

Secondly, yes! I do have magical powers! Things like mind reading, shape shifting, compassion, empathy, brains and a sense of humor. Believe it or not, these are things that most people (not just men) find … well … attractive. I know, it’s hard to believe, but really! It’s true! Most people read my blog in spite of my HNT’s, not because of them! Not only that, but the majority of people who do stop by on Thursdays (HNT day, just in case you want to visit again next week) actually read my blog every day of the week. Imagine! That means that my words are SIX times more magically powerful than my photos. Just call me She-Ra!

On the subject of art and beauty, maybe you are familiar with the words of the English dramatist John Lyly?

"...as neere is Fancie to Beautie, as the pricke to the Rose, as the stalke to the rynde, as the earth to the roote."

Shakespeare?

“Good Lord Boyet, my beauty, though but mean,
Needs not the painted flourish of your praise:
Beauty is bought by judgement of the eye,
Not utter'd by base sale of chapmen's tongues”

I know! Benjamin Franklin!

“Beauty, like supreme dominion, is but supported by opinion”

No? What about David Hume?

"Beauty in things exists merely in the mind which contemplates them."

Certainly, a well educated and articulate person like yourself must be familiar with Margaret Wolfe Hungerford (née Hamilton), who, in Molly Bawn, (1878) penned the line,

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

And lastly, I find your disgust with the human body … well … pathetic. You see, the human body – in its many shapes, sizes and colors – is truly a wonderful, amazing and beautiful thing! Holy smokes! Just the fact that it was designed - perfectly - to make reproduction of the human race not only possible, but enjoyable, is amazing in itself. Those *gasp* breasts that I had the audacity to show? They, all on their own, provided all of the nutrients my newborn son needed for the first 8 weeks of his life! Oh … wait … is that why you came to my blog instead of writing on walls in Facebook? You couldn’t find any more breastfeeding photos to gripe about?

Let me help you out. www.facebook.com Just search on the words “breast feeding”. I’m sure you’ll find a handful of “rebels” out there to keep you occupied while you wait for The Jerry Springer Show to start!

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Is Social Networking the New Playground?

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Recently, RockDog - one of my first readers and someone that I've read and followed since I started blogging - brought up that he might be leaving Blogger.

A moment of silence please ... OK ... I think I can continue now ...

In his recent post, Changes; are they coming or are they here?, he writes:

My theory on this is that with social networking being the new in thing, that people are still blogging, but doing it in one place ... the same place where you can view their pictures/videos, get status updates, etc.

A place like Facebook.

No! Please!! Say it isn't so!!

Jay, in his devious ways, introduced me to Twitter, and more recently Plinky.

For those of you living under a rock who might not be familiar with these two sites, Twitter allows you to announce every time you use the bathroom your daily activities. In other words, it allows people stalk you from afar. I tried to Twitter, but I just can't seem to get in the habit of updating with any regularity. Seriously! Who cares if I'm headed to the grocery store? And if you do care, why?

Plinky is a little different. I'm guessing this will be the new "thing" on Blogger *shudders in disgust* Plinky advertises itself as:

... a service that makes it easy for you to create inspired content on the web. Every day we provide a new prompt (like a question, or a challenge). Everyone gets a chance to answer. It’s simple to add photos, maps, playlists and more. You can easily share your Plinky answers on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and most major blogging services.

Really? Inspired content? Today's prompt was, "Describe superhero you." If that is inspiration, please don't inspire me!

Of course, there are literally hundreds of social networking sites. Wikipedia lists some of the major social networking sites HERE - most of them I've never even heard of!

I can't finish this rant discussion on social networking without mentioning Facebook and MySpace.

I have a MySpace account only because I need to keep tabs on my son's MySpace page. There have been a few times when someone that I want to follow moves over to MySpace. Y'all know what happens then, right? In order to view a MySpace page, you must create an account. Nothing irritates me more than being required to put my information out there so that I can access content.

Facebook? I actually attempted to set up a page and keep it updated, but I just don't see the draw. I logged in this morning and had the following "requests":

* 1 friend request
* 2 good karma from XXXX requests
* 1 XXXX circle of request
* 1 birthday request
* 3 drinking requests
* 1 XXXX request
* 1 XXXX has a invitation
* 3 xmas stocking requests
* 2 birthday requests
* 1 free gift (new) request
* 1 birthday request
* 1 christmas decoration request
* 1 (lil) green patch request
* 1 christmas ornament request
* 1 mob wars invitation
* 1 (lil) blue cove request
* 1 nicest person request

Really? Y'all want me to answer all of these things? You actually care? I don't ...

Maybe it's because I'm not attempting to market myself. I blog as a creative outlet - the bonus for me has been a bit of social networking. I read blogs to gain insight into people and subject matter, not to get my name out there so that I can increase readership.

Maybe it's that I really despise trends and wonder about the sanity of those that flitter from one thing to another without ever giving anything their full efforts.

Or maybe I thrive on content. Not content like "Describe Superhero You," but content that requires actual thought and cohesive writing - skills that social networking doesn't even come close to fostering.

Don't even get me started on the censorship aspect of the social networking sites. If I had to chose a single reason that I'll never go - exclusively - to the social networking dark side, it would be censorship.

Tell me what you think - is Blogger (and blogging in general) a dying art? Will I be eating my words 6 months from now and bestowing the virtues of Facebook and MySpace? Where do you think you'll land?

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