18 October 2011

You're FIRED!

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While I was away, I spent most of my time obsessing over enjoying tumblr. My natural way of learning is to immerse myself in the interest du jour - try to figure it out - and once I do, become extremely bored with it. If there isn't a challenge, I have little interest

*SIDE NOTE* - this would be one of the key reasons I pretty much suck at relationships yet have a life-long commitment to math

I learned quite a bit about social media while I was drowning in it, and thought I'd share a few of those lessons ... 'cause I'm a giver like that

  • Social media is all the same. The people who frequent facebook will tell you it's the only place to be - that people try to be something they're not on tumblr and twitter but facebook is the real deal.  The people on tumblr are TERRIFIED that the people of facebook will find them and ruin their ability to not have to be personally accountable for their words and actions.  And twitter? That's where people go to bitch about facebook and tumblr ... except when facebook and tumblr are down.  The bottom line?  Although the tools look a little different, they all accomplish the same thing - social chaos 
  • Social media inspires mob mentality. Using their computer screen as armor, people will say things and do things they'd never consider if they were standing toe-to-toe with you.  And if they have a strong opposing opinion on something you've written?  They will rally the troops and cyberly pummel you. Fortunately, most people on social media aren't intellectually armed well enough to be successful in their hostile takeovers, but the sheer number of them is quite disturbing
  • The same people who aren’t nice in real life aren’t nice on social media.  But here's the rub ... People who are nice in real life aren't necessarily nice on social media.  It is a strange phenomena. I'm convinced there are microscopic aliens living in keyboards and touchscreens throughout the world sucking all of the common sense and good judgment through the fingertips of those using them on social media sites
  • Social media can feel like junior high school ... if you let it. You may think you are thick-skinned, but if you equate followers to friends, you are already taking a trip in the way-back machine.  This game moves fast.  People are busy.  They don't have the time or the desire to get to know you.  You are disposable.  One slip - one post that makes them question whether you like them or not and *POOF* BOOM! BOOM! Out go the lights!
  • People say they write for themselves on social media. They are lying.  If that were the case, they wouldn't be on social media, they'd keep a diary between the mattresses on their bed.  Although often times people don't consider their audience on social media, they do write to the audience they hope (or think) they have, filtering out the "bad" stuff that might make others not like them. Social media exists for validation
  • Social media is not for everyone. I think this was the most valuable lesson I learned.  I kept trying to be good at tumblr, facebook and twitter - good as defined by the majority.  I will never meet that standard. Just as some people will never be good at underwater basket weaving, some people fail at social media.  I got an "F" in social media. I will not be taking the course again


*DISCLAIMER* This post is filled with sweeping generalizations that will likely offend some. I don't care - being politically correct is too cumbersome and wordy, and no matter how hard you try not to, you'll always piss someone off anyway

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10 comments:

Gina said...

Dear Dana,
I heart you and your genius-isms.

That is all.

Love, Gina

P.S. Genius-isms is a word.

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Sure, I do a post for tomorrow, after being absent for the most of the last three weeks and talk about how, when I started I did it for myself...and you then tell me I am lying...

oh worrisome me..what shall I do????

I can do a post about it and all 2 of my readers can comment...or not, they are busy!

I enjoyed this read

I'm With Stupid said...

Maybe the problem is that you just can't force social media sites to be what YOU want them to be. Nor can you force everyone else to be who or what you want them to be either.

Jay

Dana said...

Gina, can we call them Dana-isms instead? Genius-ism just sounds a little too smart ;)

Vinny "Bond" Marini, let me say that I feel blogging is different than most social media (because I'm elitist like that). With blogging, people have to come to you, unlike twitter,facebook, tumblr, etc. where you pop up on a centralized dash/TL. Okay, so no one else sees the difference but me, but I think people can and do blog for themselves

I'm With Stupid (Jay), I agree, which is why I fail at social media. It doesn't meet my needs. I don't like the platforms. That doesn't mean social media is bad, it means that I am bad at social media. It's like trying to feed tofu to a carnivore.

Mike said...

'you'll always piss someone off anyway'

This is an absolute gaurantee.

Karen said...

I tend to agree with your generalizations. But I think they really only apply to people who let them apply to themselves. My facebook and blogger are for me and my friends. If you aren't looking for an audience or looking for validation of "strangers", you don't get into the whole bs.

I'm sorry you learned a tough lesson, but I am glad you are back.

Emmy said...

I have met some genuine people on these sites, but generally I think everyone on there is looking to have their voice heard, not judged, and acceptance. The rub is simple though because man hof them don't listen, like to judge and aren't willing to accept people. It is this contradiction that makes me sit on the sidelines and watch most times. I'm glad you are back though. You do not have a junior high mentality - and this format better allows you to be you, IMO.

Dana said...

Mike, you'd think I would have learned that by now wouldn't you??

Karen, I'll be the first to admit that I easily get caught up in the brewhaha and, often create (usually unintentionally) the brewhaha. It was just a bad fit for me.

Emmy, I didn't mean to make it sound like there was nothing good on these sites. I've actually met some AMAZING people - a handful that made it worth it - and I will keep in touch with those people. But yes, the contradiction/hypocrisy (without being able to recognize it in themselves) was a bit frustrating for me.

This place is different and yes, a better platform for me.

katherine. said...

Raising my glass to our shared life long commitment...

Jormengrund said...

LOVE this.. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE..

Well, I have the tendency to annoy and irritate folks when I write about things, and yet I have quite a few friends who claim that I'm a steadfast and loyal person who they cherish..

Maybe it's just because I'm very vocal and can't keep my fingers from expressing exactly what I feel?