Sunday Secret

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I knew you weren't being entirely truthful when you told me the reason we didn't have sex more than once every two or three months was because, at your age, you couldn't imagine starting over with another child. It's been a year since I had the tubal and we're still not having sex more than once every two or three months.

What you don't know is that I was every bit as worried that I'd get pregnant, but for very different reasons. I'm glad I had the tubal!

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Friday Wrap-Up

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Here we are, still at the front-end of a 4-day weekend, and I've got TONS of things to do! As y'all know, I recently finished painting the "sitting room" off the master bedroom - now it's time to finish painting the bedroom. BIG project, but one that will give immense satisfaction once it's finished.

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I didn't do the obligatory Thankful post yesterday, primarily because I really attempt to express gratitude every day. I don't save it up for a once a year expression, however I did have a bit of an "Ah-ha" moment yesterday.

When husband got up yesterday morning, I sat down across from him, put my hand on his thigh, and said, "I know that I don't say this nearly enough, but I appreciate all that you do to provide for this family." I gave him a hug and kiss and quickly ran went to the kitchen. You see, exchanges like this are extremely difficult for me - they make me feel vulnerable - and that feeling is overwhelming and beyond uncomfortable.

Within minutes, husband followed me to the kitchen, looked me in the eye and said, "If it weren't for all that you do for this family, I wouldn't be able to do what I do." We hugged. I cried. This was his first ever verbal acknowledgment of my contribution to the family, and his sincerity was evident.

The "traditional" meal I cooked was wonderful, and even though there were just the three of us here, it was a great celebration. But the most special moment of the holiday was that exchange between husband and I. Progress, for both of us.

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... and just because sometimes a picture paints a thousand words ...

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HNT - Thanks!

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“Never neglect the little things. Never skimp on that extra effort, that additional few minutes, that soft word of praise or thanks, that delivery of the very best that you can do. It does not matter what others think, it is of prime importance, however, what you think about you. You can never do your best, which should always be your trademark, if you are cutting corners and shirking responsibilities. You are special. Act it. Never neglect the little things.”

~ Og Mandino

Don't forget to *CLICK*

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More on Manners

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We went to see the new Bond movie on Sunday - Quantum of Solace. I must say, Daniel Craig is by far my favorite Bond - not only does he have that ruggedly handsome look, but he's an excellent actor. However ... this is not a movie review (good thing because the 20 minutes I fell asleep during a critical part of the movie might impact my understanding of the plot), but rather a movie manners review. You know me and manners, and when I'm spending $32.00 in admission for my family of 4, I get a little picky about the company I keep.

First and foremost, the movie theater is not your living room. It is a public place where you should be aware and considerate of others. But since that general statement seems to need further definition, let me add a few more pointers.

There is a reason they print starting times for movies - so that you won't be late. I don't mind if you disrupt the previews, but at least find your seat before the movie starts, especially if you were standing in line in front of me at the concession area.

If I am looking for a center seat, and you are in the isle seat, either stand or swing your knees in the direction I'm heading so that I can get by. I really don't want my ass in your face any longer than you want it in your face.

Your sideways ball cap? Take it off when you sit down. It really does distract from my view of the movie screen. And Mohawk man? The back row is probably the best place for you since your hair extends 6" above your head and is directly in my line of sight.

You know that little message they play during the previews? The one that asks you to turn your cell phone off? They mean off, not just on vibrate (unless you are a neurosurgeon on call). You see, the blue light that emits from your cell phone screen while you text throughout the entire movie is just as annoying as hearing your Womanizer ring tone!

Please - for the love of good movies - don't talk! I paid $8.00 for 90 minutes of the oration of my choosing, I really don't want to hear your interpretation of the movie. You are not a film critic.

Children. If they are not in elementary school, they have no business in a movie that doesn't carry a "G" rating. Allowing them to run up and down the aisles is not an appropriate remediation for their boredom. And you soccer moms? The ones who drop off your tween kids at the theater so that you can go to the mall alone? Stop it! Little Johnny is really a pain in the ass when left on his own and although I will parent him in a public place, I shouldn't have to!

We have wireless internet, but manufactures can't seem to make silent food packaging for movie theaters. Until that technology becomes available, please open noisy packages quickly and refrain from jiggling your soft drinks and popcorn containers. Oh! And chewing with your mouth closed is expected - even in the theater.

Recovering from bronchitis? Ricola is really not the answer to your coughing fit. A move to the lobby until you can stop coughing is a much better solution!

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TMI Tuesday #162 Vlogging Style

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A special thanks to Biscuit as I stole her idea to vlog all TMI Tuesday responses. Go watch hers too.

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Geekiness Exposed

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Have I mentioned recently, that I am a geek? No - really - I am a GEEK. Not just kind of a geek, I am a watch the history channel, haven't ever seen a single episode of Desperate Housewives or Grey's Anatomy geek.

My favorite television shows? The ones that teach me something or that feature people I can relate too (i.e. other geeks, because heaven knows relating to non-geeks takes a great deal of energy and concentration) like Numbers, House and the original CSI.

When I'm at the market, or just driving in my car, I look for numerical patterns in everything. I count jars of pasta sauce on shelves, and the number of lane marker slashes between mile markers. I like - no, I thrive on - any thing numerical and consistent. Math and patterns give me great comfort.

So, where am I going with all of this? I've had several people - recently - allude to the fact that I take things too seriously, and they are probably right. I do take life seriously, and I treat and react to people much the same way that I do to numbers.

I don't do "metered" emotions very well. I am either all in or all out. Some of you know that at times a handful of the comments that are left here really bother me, not so much because they are honest with their opinions, but because I don't understand malicious intent. Logically, I can't come to grips with the fact that some people feel joy in hurting others. I may be opinionated (*cough*understatement*cough) but I attack the idea, not the person, and I see these two things as very distinct and different.

I don't "get" passive/aggressive behavior. It isn't results oriented - it doesn't accomplish anything, and yet I see it frequently, in my neighborhood, in blogs, and in comments. It seems to be nothing more than an attempt to hurt the person - to somehow make them feel less than.

I know I've been somewhat careless with my words in the past, and it might even seem to some of you that this is little more than the pot calling the kettle black, but I can honestly say that I've never left a comment, or published a post, that was intended to hurt or cut down another person.

I don't know, maybe that's the case for everyone - maybe I'm working too hard trying to understand people (one of the reasons I don't do groups well - it takes every bit of mental strength I can muster to try to "read" and appropriately react to the human component). I do know that it sure doesn't seem that some people are attacking my ideas, but rather they are trying to hurt - to cut down. My geek perspective has difficulty in understanding why anyone would continue to read a blog only to get their jabs in. It defies logic.

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Sunday Secret

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This picture was taken last week during the Indy trip (ASM in the center, M on the right). I HATE it! It is a vivid and concrete reminder of just how "BIG" I am and how unnatural and unfeminine I feel when in a group of women.

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Saturday Mini-Rant

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... or when completing tasks to show your love
becomes an expectation ...

Y'all know that I do most everything to keep this house running (if you need a refresher, you can find it [HERE]). Now, don't get me wrong. I actually like doing these things for husband. It is just one way I can show my love for him and for the family. The problem comes when I am "scolded" for not completing said tasks. This becomes quite clear when a discussion like this one occurs on a Saturday morning.

Husband: I need Q-Tips
Dana: I know, I forgot to pick them up at the market last week. I'll get them this time.
Husband (completely out of right field): I just want to toss that laptop. You don't do anything else.
Dana: And you don't do anything other than watch TV, but I don't give you grief.
Husband: But I still manage to get EVERYTHING done that I need to do.

Clearly, my use of the laptop is to blame for missing an item on my mental shopping list. I remembered all 67 of the other items, but the laptop sucked the Q-tips right out of my brain. Oh, and never mind the fact that he works less than 1/4 mile from a Walgreen's (something we don't have in town) and he likely drives by at least seven others every day, It was on my grocery list and I didn't get it and he shouldn't have to get it himself!

In case you don't know me well, this is where I just shut down. I look at his argument (Which, for the record, is ridiculous because his EVERYTHING is to shower, drive to work, then drive home. All other tasks fall squarely on my shoulders) and realize I have two options - let it go, or escalate it. In this house escalating it is a BAD idea. So I let it go.

Now, I will actually bring this back up later in the day because I think it's time for some resolution of some sort. This is an issue (for him) that comes up again and again. I believe it's more of a control issue than anything else. He doesn't know what I do on the computer and that makes him quite insecure, but I've had enough of the guilt crap.

I love doing things for my family when they are appreciated, not when they become demands and expectations. Is that wrong?

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Friday Wrap-Up

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It's another glorious Friday! I know everyone has been complaining about the cold, but for the record? As I type this it is 18 degrees, 5 degrees with the wind chill. I've managed to keep the winter coat in the closet (I wore just a sweater yesterday), but I'm thinking I might need to bring it out soon..

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Work has been interesting these past few weeks. First we were asked to sign a non-compete/confidentiality agreement. I didn't find that too unusual, but things got a bit more intriguing the following week.

Next, it was a phone usage policy limiting ALL phone use (business phone AND personal cell phone) to emergencies only during work hours. In fact, it even dictates that when we receive a call on our personal cell phone, we are to go to a "non-work" area to answer the call. Texting has also been banned.

Yesterday? A new internet usage policy. Personal use of the internet is limited to the lunch hour (noon-1PM) only. We used to have a fairly liberal internet usage policy - a discretionary type policy - not now! In fact, we've been told that reports are now being given to the managers on a weekly basis that include individual usage time and all URL's visited and that disciplinary actions will be taken. Being in a "professional" position, I find this a bit demeaning, but also believe it is likely being used as a tool to weed out "undesirable" employees.

What does that mean for me? In these difficult economic times, I cannot afford to lose my job over internet usage. You'll likely be seeing a bit less of me in the comments as I'll have fewer hours of access. I'll try to catch up on the weekends, but if you don't see me it's nothing personal.

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I think the most important policy my employer seems to have overlooked is the one limiting cubicle loitering. Tuesday, Norm (of "Have a lovely Autumn Day" fame) came to my cubicle and started rehearsing his lines from the play he is performing in next month. Seriously. Just walked up to my cubicle and started rehearsing his lines. Hello? Someone please explain to me why that can't be policy-ed away!

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I came across an interesting blogging dynamic recently. Now, I have quite a few blogs that I read that are husband/wife or "significant other" (I hate that term) written. Another Suburban Mom and Hubman, Kahuna and Babushka, and Matt-Man and Schmoop come to mind. What did I stumble upon these past few weeks? Feuding spouses (actually, kind of one sided feuding) blogs. No, I'm not going to link them here - honestly I think morbid curiosity by a bunch of unknown bloggers might just send one of them over the edge - but it is kind of fascinating to watch.

I'd say, in a nutshell, it's what happens when one spouse starts blogging - developing those blogger relationships - and the other spouse holds on tight to preconceived notions regarding the EVIL internet and those preying women, trolling blogs, trying to steal husbands (DAMN you infidelity bloggers - you've ruined it for the rest of us - *gigglesnort*). She starts following him around, reading his comments, leaving her own snarkiness following his, then decides to publish a blog where she just loses her mind in quite a passive/aggressive manner. And these aren't 20-something folks either - these are grown-ups!

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For those of you heading out of town for the holiday, Have a safe and wonderful trip! I'll be hanging out here - I think - but might just shock everyone and head off somewhere with Cam. We'll see!!

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HNT - Red Lace

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"I consider lace to be one of the prettiest imitations ever made of the fantasy of nature; lace always evokes for me those incomparable designs which the branches and leaves of trees embroider across the sky, and I do not think that any invention of the human spirit could have a more graceful or precise origin."
~ Coco Chanel (August 19, 1883 – January 10, 1971)



*CLICK*



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I’m struggling …

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Unless you live under a rock, you know that Thanksgiving is coming up. Thanksgiving! That wonderful time of year when we reflect on all of the good things in our life – the daily gifts that we often take for granted. That time of year when we get together with family, prepare a huge, glorious meal, make the kids sit at a card table in the living room to eat, then fall asleep and fart while watching the Cowboys play football. Except that isn’t my Thanksgiving any more.

At some point in my life I began building walls – brick by brick. Actually, I think the building boom really started on my 7th birthday, when my dad forgot to come home for my party because he got preoccupied with his affair with Rainier (beer) at the Detour Tavern. When you grow up in a home filled with promises, expectation and disappointments, you build a fortress around your emotions.
Eventually, I couldn’t build the walls and higher or any deeper. Drastic measures were necessary to keep the fortress strong. I had to relocate the fortress (and myself) thousands of miles away. The physical distance offered even more protection.

Now? How I long for a family meal at Thanksgiving – for those traditions of Green Jell-o salad *shudders* and Chocolate Cream Pie from scratch. I am envious of all of my family members who will stress over when the turkey will be ready, argue over who should do dishes, and complain that the mashed potatoes aren't creamy enough and the gravy is lumpy.

Understand that I am very grateful for the things (and people) that I have in my life. I give thanks daily for a roof over my head, food in the pantry, and people who love me. I truly am blessed with far more than I need or could ever use. I know that, yet something is still missing and I ache for it - and feel terribly guilty for complaining.

I try to keep a happy face and good disposition. I listen to, and read, the Thanksgiving plans of co-workers, friends and bloggers. I smile and tell them how wonderful it all sounds – and each time my heart grows a little more sad. You see, the problem with building a fortress around your emotions is that the fortress not only keeps the bad from coming in, it keeps the good from finding its way too.

I’m looking for a demolition company to do a little imploding work … anyone know where I might find one?

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TMI Tuesday #161 Vlogging Style

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This is a bit late, but here it is in all of it's glory! Had some issues with time constraints and access to YouTube (it is now blocked at work). Enjoy!

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Indy Blogger Fun

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Why is it that blogger meets always involve too much food and too much beer? Well, maybe not too much beer for me this time, but ...

So, got to Indy around noon on Saturday. Got to see Osbasso (of HNT fame) again and got to meet M (Rumblings and Bumblings). We headed to the airport where we picked up ASM (Another Suburban Mom). Then it was time for lunch where we would meet NY Diva (mph-NYDiva), P & S (CelloBiscuit), and their wonderful little EZ-E.

Lunch was at Five Guys Burgers and Fries - a chain I had never eaten at but YUM! I had the best bacon cheeseburger I've had in a long time. And the fries? Seriously, I think the best I've ever eaten! After stuffing our faces and corrupting EZ-E with those yummy french fries, we headed back to the hotel.


ASM and I roomed together (I know I just made a bunch of you jealous - knowing that I was in the same room as ASM while she was showering). We stayed at the Hilton - on the executive floor (ASM had many tricks up her sleeve). We each got our own Hilton robe and there were Crabtree and Evelyn toiletries! WooHoo! After everyone freshened up and washed off the travel funk, we headed out for round two of food.


Saturday night was spent at the Broad Ripple Brewpub where we met up with Flyboy and A Living Diary. Fabulous food, awesome beer, and great friendships! Now, y'all know I must take pictures of the food - and the beer. I had the Spinach Melt (spinach, sour cream & water chestnuts on sourdough bread with monterey jack cheese and tomato) and the Bigger Boy Ale (can anyone say 8.4% ABV?)

After dinner and beer, it was time for something a little more crazy - the Wild Beaver! How could we not go to a bar called the Wild Beaver? Rumor has it there are some pics of some half-drunk bloggers standing around the Beaver, but my camera didn't contain any of them. ASM and M consumed Beaver Juice (yes, in public).
I decided to stick with shots of Patron Tequila, but couldn't find anyone willing to drink it with me! Hmmmm ....

I think most everyone slept well Saturday night even though M's phone was busier than a one-legged cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen pond. Yeah ... I actually did write that ...

Sunday morning it was time for one last get together - breakfast at Le Peep where we met up with American Honey and Yummy (sorry, Yummy doesn't blog, he just plays a character on American Honey's blog). More great food and interesting conversation - especially when American Honey was reminissing on a guest post she wrote where she was lambasted by a reader. Anyone want to guess who that reader was?? *slowly raises hand* Yep! It was me! Actually, although it had the potential to be an extremely difficult moment, it ended up being something we were able to laugh about.

Oh my goodness! I almost forgot the highlight of the weekend!! Right before checking out of the hotel, ASM asks, "Will you take a picture of my ass? I want to send it to Hubman so he can see what thong I am wearing." I don't think she's yet recovered from the "phone burn" she received as I swipe the phone right from her grip and then pretended like I couldn't figure out how to take a picture so that she would stand there half nekkid for just a few seconds longer *gigglesnort*

EDIT: Hubman is so good to me all of you, he and ASM have given me permission to post my handy-work!

Sorry there aren't any blogger pics. Many of those I met this weekend blog anonymously, and I wasn't sure which bloggers were OK with the faces plastered on my blog and which were not. I decided to err on the side of safety.

Wish y'all could have been there! It is always wonderful to meet the whole person rather than just the blogger!

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Sunday Secret

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I shared a secret with a dear friend of mine, Real Live Lesbian. She was intrigued by the secret and asked me to write it as a "Guest Writer" on her blog (I feared a great deal of judgment if I shared the secret on my blog) Judge away - it's all a part of me. You can read the secret (in story form) HERE.

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Friday Wrap-Up

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I had this brilliant idea, after my HNT yesterday, to do a post of my favorite non-sexual HNT's this week, but you know what? I had a heck of a time trying to find any! I did a google blog search for HNT, clicked on at least 150 links, and came up with ... well ... not enough to actually do a worthy post. Now mind you, many of the HNT's are not in-your-face nekkidness, but they still have a distinct sexual overtone to them. I know that mine usually do, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but I was. I think I'll attempt to do at least one emotionally half-nekkid HNT each month just to see if I can!

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I'm taking a trip this weekend to Indianapolis to meet up with a few bloggers. Most of you know that meeting new people TERRIFIES me. Logically, I know it's really not a big deal, but emotionally I worry about everything involved - from saying something completely dorky, to being a general disappointment. This type of event challenges my self esteem issues in the worst way.

I might even take a side trip to visit two other bloggers who have been on my "to do" list for quite some time. We'll see what happens. Either way, I will - of course - offer stories and photographic evidence of any and all activities that will not embarrass me or any other blogger with expressed written permission only!

EDIT: I have my iGoogle page set up to display my horoscope (just for shits and grins). Thought it was funny that today it read (some of you will appreciate this more than others):

You are no stranger to keeping secrets, yet now it's important that you know when to stay quiet and when to talk. There is much that can be safely shared, yet once you open the door, it will be hard to shut it without telling everything. Remember, discretion really is the better part of valor and today some things are better left unsaid.

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A few of my regular blog reads are offering up real, live holiday cards this season, I'll be doing my own holiday give-away (more on that later), and Another Suburban Mom (ASM) is organizing a VIRTUAL COOKIE EXCHANGE. This is seriously cool for all of you holiday bakers out there. All you need to do is pick your favorite holiday cookie, candy or food gift recipe and post it on December 12th. She also encourages that you write a story about why they are your favorites, or a nice memory about making them with grandma or grandpa. All you have to do is leave a comment on her VIRTUAL COOKIE EXCHANGE post letting her know you want to share. She is even putting together a special blogroll to list all of the participants.

You know you want to do it - all of the cool kids are!!

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HNT - A Mother's Hands

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These hands have gently rubbed your back
And firmly nurtured your soul.
They've held you close
Attempting to ease pain and disappointment.

These hands have celebrated in frenzied clapping
When goals and dreams were realized.
They've kept you safe
Guiding as you navigated change and uncertainty.

These hands are here for you now
And will be always.
They'll wrap around your own
When hesitation and doubt become your companions.

These hands - these warm, giving hands
Never knew the depth of joy, delight, despair a single life could bring
Until the day they became
a mother's hands.

~ Dana

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Wednesday Weirdness

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I don't usually do the Wednesday Weirdness, but since I didn't do TMI Tuesday I thought it might be a little bit fun!

1.) When was your last visit to an emergency room? What happened?

Being a parent, my last trip to the ER was with my son. It was back in June. He decided riding his bike without a helmet was a good thing (If you are interested, you can read about it [HERE]). A few x-rays and an exam later, we walked out with a diagnosis of a mild concussion. Chances are pretty darn good that for the next six years any visits I make to the ER will be child focused!

2.) Who do you look more like: Mom, dad or another relative?

Both! People see photos of my mom and say, "You look just like your mom!" Then they see photos of my dad and say, "You look just like your dad!" Then they look at photos of my mom and dad and say, "They look like brother and sister."

I'll see if I can't find a photo of all three of us and scan it for you.

Found one! Don't laugh too hard! 1989 is the most recent one I can find!


3.) What sounds annoy you?

I am one of those people. You know the type ... the ones who are easily irritated by what seems like nothing. At the top of my list would be nail clipping, pen clicking (retractable pen) and any noise made while eating or chewing gum (usually the result of doing either one with the mouth open).

4.) What are three movies could you(or have you) watch(ed) over and over and still love?

• Any of the Matrix series (The Matrix, The Matrix Reloaded, The Matrix Revolutions)
• Forest Gump
• Shawshank Redemption

5.) Do you ever wish you were someone else?

For the most part, I like who I am on the inside - it's the outside I find disgusting. As long as I can remember, I've always wanted to be me, but in someone elses body. In fact, I used to think it was a huge waste to see ugly girls with great bodies and wanted nothing more than to stick my head on their body. Yes ... I know ... kind of odd.

6.) What do you think of when you think of Paris?

The Louvre. Probably the only reason I would ever travel to France.

7.) What'​ s the last sport​ing event​ you watch​ed?​

On television? NASCAR (Shhhhh! My redneck roots run deep. And of course I don't have a driver *cough*GregBiffle*cough*). In person? Minor league baseball this past summer.

8.) What do you think about sexual Role Playing?

Whatever trips your trigger! You know, other than consent, I just don't have hangups surrounding sex.

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Thought I'd throw in a bonus photo for you. I wanted to add this to My Veteran's Day post yesterday, but didn't get around to scanning it. This is my headshot taken after I won Soldier of the Quarter at Fort Meade. I tried to compensate for the lack of hair length by making those bangs as tall as I could!

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Honoring All Who Served

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Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while might remember my Veteran's Day Rant last year. This year I am taking the day off - UNPAID - it irritates the shit out of me.

This holiday - once called Armistice Day and celebrated at the 11th hour, on the 11th day of the 11th month - honors all Veterans. This year marks the 90th anniversary of Veteran's Day.

I know that many of my readers believe we've never had any business in Iraq - that this particular war has been a needless expense - both in U.S. dollars and in lives lost. I ask that on this day, rather than using it as a symbolic platform to spew hatred towards the current political regime, you instead say only two words - THANK YOU!

You see, some veterans bear visible signs of their service: an amputated limb, a series of scars, a certain look in their eye, but other than in parades - so few and far between any longer - the men and women who have kept America safe have no badge or emblem. You can't tell who is a veteran just by looking at them.

That young man flipping burgers at McDonald's? He might very well have given two years of his life in Iraq, hoping to keep terrorists in their own country rather than having them fight their war in ours.

The older gentleman who greets you at WalMart? He may have been involved in liberating the Nazi death camps.

That young woman who draws your blood at doctor's office? She might very well have mended wounded soldiers during Desert Storm.

What all veterans have in common is that they have offered some of their life's most vital years in the service of this country. They have often sacrificed their ambitions, and those of their family members, so that others would not have to sacrifice theirs. They are ordinary, but extraordinary, people.

For just one day, please set aside your political agenda and instead show gratitude. Just stop for a moment and say, "Thank You." Not, "Thank you but ...", just plain "Thank You!" That's all most of us want, and in most cases it means far more to us than any medal or award we might have received. We just want to know that you realize the value of what we've given, and continue to give, to this great country.

To those who, like me, have served this great nation - Thank You!

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TMI Tuesday will return next week. This is far more important.

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It Takes A Village

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What has happened to neighborhoods? To the small town benefit of everyone knowing who your kid is and looking out for them? To parents speaking to parents when they see kids doing things they know the parents wouldn't possibly think were appropriate?

In my Friday wrap-up, I mention that Cam was suspended from school for a zero tolerance issue. In a nutshell, Cam "found" (ummm ... OK ...) a lighter and decided a little game of show-and-tell at the bus stop was appropriate. Cam and I leave the house at the same time - he has 5-10 minutes of unsupervised time at the bus stop - and apparently he decided this was his best use of time.

That night, one of the three other kids who wait at that bus stop informed their parent that Cam was playing with a lighter that morning. All three of these kids live within one block of my house. I know them all and have met their parents on at least one occasion. With this information in hand, the parent decides it is much more appropriate to call the school principal and inform him of the lighter issue than it is to come knock on my door to inform me.

When Cam arrived at school the following day, he was immediately escorted into the Principal's office and physically searched - the lighter was still in his pocket. Both of his lockers (regular and gym) were searched. Fortunately, nothing was found in either of his lockers. In my school district, lighters are considered "any object that could cause injury to themselves or other students" and result in an immediate school suspension.

Now mind you, I understand (but despise) zero tolerance policies. I understand that Cam took the lighter, a forbidden item, to school. Cam should have been suspended at that point. What I don't understand is a parent feeling it is more appropriate to report the issue that occurred on a public street to the school principal than it is to address it with the parent - especially when this parent knows me.

Have we really become such a spineless, tattle-tale, passive-aggressive society that we can't talk to a parent about the unacceptable behaviors of their child? Am I in the minority? If I see a child doing something dangerous/wrong (walking in the middle of the street, throwing rocks at cars, etc.) I address the child (in a calm adult manner) and if I know the parents, I will call them as well. I live in a town of 3500 people. Everyone is familiar with everyone else in this community. The fact that this parent decided it was more appropriate for the SCHOOL to discipline my child than it was for me to discipline my child is somewhat disconcerting.

I had several gut reactions to this. My first was to resign my position as PTO president - out of embarrassment and principle. It is likely one of the PTO members is the parent who made the report to the school. I also considered visiting the home of each of the kids at the bus stop to ask the parents to please bring any issue like this to me first, then to the school if they felt I was not addressing it and their child's safety remained an issue of concern.

My final decision? Rather than running away, I've decided my position as PTO president gives me a platform of sorts. I actually have the opportunity to bring my concern to light and address it with the very group of parents who are part of the problem and who have the capacity for change. Will it work? I don't know, but I do know that if I do nothing, nothing will change, and our kids deserve better.

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Sunday Secret

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Half-Nekkid Thursday is my way of being able to control just what parts of me people see. Although it might seem that I am confident and brave, I am always terrified that I will miss some critical flaw and everyone will laugh at me. On Thursdays - and many other days - I am really nothing more than a scared little girl

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Friday Wrap-Up

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I learned a valuable Blogger lesson yesterday - you can't delete a draft post that contains images that you are using in another post unless you want to lose the images - d'oh!! What was so odd about the HNT issues yesterday was that I could see the photos - even when not logged in to Blogger - and because the changes were made right before the post went live, the first few visitors were still able to see the images. Thanks to everyone who let me know about the issue!

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Been an interesting week in the cyber world. A dear friend of mine has been out of cyber touch this week and it made me realize just how much I depend on the internet for emotional/intellectual/personal interaction. There was a time when I thought that indicated a problem, however I am starting to realize that friendships - whether they are online or offline - are friendships. Online friendships are every bit as intense and satisfying as their offline counterparts. In fact, I would say they are often more intense and satisfying than their offline counterparts.

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A quick political comment now that the election is over. No matter what our political affiliation, I think if we are even the slightest bit open minded we can find some commonality with President-Elect Obama. It is in the best interest of this country that we do just that.

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An amazing thing happened in my home this week. For the first time in six years, husband (Cam's step-father) and I were able to communicate and work together towards an appropriate discipline strategy for Cam. Without going into too much detail, Cam was suspended from school for two days this week for a physical altercation he was involved in as well as for a zero tolerance issue.

Before anyone starts jumping on the "no-wonder-he-has-issues" bandwagon, yes - I continue to do all that I can in addressing the root cause of these issues, and no - I will not explain what I am doing in depth as it always seems to invite a significant amount of criticism on the blog.

But, I will say that there were some significant gains made from a parenting perspective. I decided to be *gasp* honest with husband regarding Cam's suspended status. There was a time, not too long ago, when I would have hidden this from him fearing (with good reason) that his reaction would be a physical one against Cam. I had a moment of clarity last night where I knew it was time to shit or get off the pot. Either I was honest with husband, dealing with the consequences of honesty, or I was dishonest with him continuing the facade. The desire to move forward (requiring honesty) overrode the fear.

I'm in no way making claims that everything is now hunky-dory, but I do believe there was forward movement. Only time will tell if this was an exception to the rule, or the beginning of a healthy relationship for this family, but I have realized (with a little help) that honesty in parenting is the only acceptable option. If honesty results in a dangerous reaction from husband, everything is in place to leave the situation.

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HNT - Boobies 4 BTE

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I'm hoping I was able to correct the issue with the photos. If this is a repeat visit for you, I appreciate your tenacity!

I've taken on the project of painting the master bedroom/sitting area. We've been in the house for over two years, and with the exception of a small bathroom and the laundry room, this is the only room that hasn't been painted. Why? Well, husband and I have color issues - I like them and he doesn't.

I started the project in the sitting area. Husband agreed that painting there made sense - it would allow him to try out the colors without making a huge commitment. I really wanted something calming and earthy - something that made this room feel like an escape. Normally, I'm not a "blue" girl, but I really liked the blue/brown combination - that dark brown is used as an accent wall.

I've always heard that it is good luck to place a message on the wall before painting. Well, this is part of the bedroom, so I decided it was perfect for an impression rather than a message - especially this kind of impression!

BTE, for your birthday, here is my booby impressionism masterpiece! Although it started out like this, it now lives below a coat of dark brown paint.

The "master" at work *CLICK*




NOTE: I was reading Jay's blog last week and he mentioned a "Smoosh Your Boobies" contest. I knew I was going to miss the cut-off date, so didn't really give it a second thought. Well, I just went back and they extended the "submit by" date - it is now November 7th! So, if you are artistically inclined, you can make your own impressionist artwork and even win a prize!



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Yes, I Did!

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Vote, that is - and the proof is on the ... well ... you can see!

Now you - yes YOU! Shut down the computer and go vote!

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TMI Tuesday #159 - Vlog Style

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Live, from my recently painted and renovated sitting room, it's TMI TUESDAY! Tell me, what do you think about the colors??

If you haven't done so already, go VOTE!!

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All I Really Need To Know I Learned Through Blogging

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I'm sure most of you are familiar with Robert Fulghum's All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten. I took a little artistic liberty with Fulghum's writings and came to the conclusion that much the same can be said about blogging ...


All That I really Need To Know I've Learned Through Blogging

• Comment equally. Comment on the good, the bad and the ugly. People want to know that you are there even when they aren't where they'd like to be in life.
• Words are powerful. They can bring a smile to a blogger's face, or a tear to their eye. They can be encouraging and helpful, or disparaging and hurtful. Choose your words carefully.
  
• Clean up your own mess. If you falter - if you fail - own up to it, make amends and move forward. Those who truly care will forgive.
• Don't take things that aren't yours. If you see it on another blog, be sure to give credit to the blog from which you came, and let the blogger know. People take great pride in their work.
• Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody. Make it public if it was a public hurt, private if it was not.
• HNT is good for you. Whether you you play emotionally half-nekkid, physically half-nekkid, of spiritually half-nekkid, it's good to get half-nekkid once in a while.
• Live a balanced blogging life. Don't let blogging become your only interaction with people.
• Take a break. Sometimes it is important to shift focus, just be courteous enough to let your readers know.
• Remember that the blogosphere is very much like the real world. You need to watch out for speeding cars and falling objects.
• Trust is a valuable commodity. Although most bloggers are wonderful people, there are a few snake-oil sales people out there too. Be careful whom (or is it who?) you bargain with!
• Do what you say, and say what you do! On a blog, and in your comments, your word is golden - keep it highly polished.
• There is a person behind the blog. Bloggers are fragile, vulnerable, real people. They have good days and bad days. They put themselves out there for enjoyment and insight, not for abuse and belittling. If you don't like what you see/read, move on - there are many wonderful blogs and bloggers out there - you are bound to find many that you do like!
  

As Fulghum states in his final lines of this essay (modified just a wee bit):

And it is still true, no matter how old you are - when you go out into the (cyber) world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

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Sunday Secret

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When you asked if I had been using your razor to shave my legs, I told you the truth when I said "No!" A better question would have been, "Have you been using my razor?" You'd have gotten a much different answer!

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