I found them! I found them!

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The blogs, that is!

There are more of you out there than I thought, and it appears I need to stalk some of your blogrolls.

Odd ... I used to do just that back in the early days, but for some reason haven't done it much at all lately.

I'm going to do a little "shout-out" to those of you who commented on my last post in a minute, but thought I'd comment a bit on a blog post I recently read titled Seven Reasons Why Blogs Fail (not from a blog I would regularly read, but I did find this post interesting) since I have run into so many of those as of late.

*NOTE* Numbered items are Paul T. McCain's - comments following the numbered items are mine.

(1) They offer little more than constant axe-grinding and carping on a particular subject.

I've been known to get stuck in this pattern, usually as a result of being stuck in life. I think it happens to all of us occasionally, but I agree - a blog that consistently bitches, whines, and moans? Gets removed from my reader.

(2) They lack focus and purpose.

There was an influx of these a few years back. Everyone decided they could be (and were) a writer. A bit of advice? Not everyone is. tumblr absorbed a lot of those.

(3) They indulge too much in playing to the crowd.

I lovingly call these troll bloggers. They are the people who write to intentionally create controversy. Personally? Depending on the subject matter? I like these blogs. No comments needed regarding my alleged participation in this type of blogging.

(4) They do not serve the niche they are trying to reach. 

I would change this to "They do not serve a niche". The successful blogs I read have a niche - the are aware of who their readers are and they continue to deliver what their readers want.

(5) They are not comfortable in “their own skin.” 

I see this most often with the stereotypical mommy-blogger. If you are going to write a personal blog, it's difficult to connect with your readers if you portray your life as one filled with glitter, kittens and perfect snowflake children ALL OF THE TIME. People know better, and they want you to acknowledge that you are human.

(6) They are insincere or desperate cries for attention.

I used to stumble on these a lot during the HNT days. "LOOK! I HAVE BOOBS (or a PENIS)! HERE THEY ARE (it is)!!" was the theme of many of "sex blogger" blogs. I'm pretty sure all of those people moved to tumblr too ...

 (7) They don’t have a plan for regular posting.

*snort* This is ... yeah ... this is HARD! Most of us who blog will never make a living at it (no matter how much we might want to) and this is the primary reason.

 What would you add to Paul T. McCain's list?

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A special shout-out to the REAL bloggers who commented on my post last week (in order of when they commented):

Losing, Loving and Living in Tx (Kristi)

Bilbo's Random Thought Collection (Bilbo)

Billions of Versions of Normal (Mike)

Nick's Bytes (Nick)

Namaste By Day (Gina)

Blue Eyed Bader (adult content)

Project 365 | A picture a day...and maybe more (don't let the name fool you - there is always a quote and a blog post attached to each of her photos - Sujomi)

I'm With Stupid (This might be one of those "troll blogs" I mentioned above - Jay and Matt)

DuckButt

Another Suburban Mom (Veronica)

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Friday Foodie and Fill-Ins

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Last year, Another Suburban Mom (be careful with this link - ASM is a mixture of mom and NSFW) did a virtual cookie exchange. This year, she's calling it a "Treat Exchange" which gave me an idea. A treat doesn't have to be a cookie, right? It could be an appetizer, right? Right?? I thought so!

This recipe was shared with me by Kell, who just happens to be Jay's sister. I made these for Cam's football banquet about a month ago and they were a huge hit! My favorite thing? They can be made ahead of time, popped in the freezer, then cooked up in just 20 minutes whenever you need them!

Spinach Balls

2 packages Chopped spinach, well drained
3c. (8oz) Pepperidge Farm stuffing (with spice) crushed slightly
2 lg Onions, finely minced
6 Eggs, lightly beaten
1/2c Butter, melted
1/2c Parmesan cheese, finely shredded
3 Cloves garlic (finely minced)
1/2t Thyme, crushed
1T Black pepper
Salt to taste

Mix all ingredients in a very big bowl. Chill briefly. Form into 1" diameter balls.

Place on a cookie sheet. Freeze until solid. Transfer to plastic bags for storage.

Bake on a greased cookie sheet at 325 for 18-20 minutes. Makes about 80 balls.

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And ... here we go!

1. Good times: I'm beginning to learn what they are again!.
2. For the first time in a long time, it's my home.
3. Sleigh bells ring every time Santa hits a bump.
4. “Happiness consists not in having much, but in being content with little.” ~ Marguerite Gardiner
5. Once more I'm making the decisions that are best for us.
6. Is this really the end?
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to grocery shopping, tomorrow my plans include volunteering at the foodbank and Saturday night church service and Sunday, I want to get laundry done in under 74 minutes!

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There's No Crying In Baseball

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On occasion I find an odd phenomena in the blogsphere - random blogs that I read have a common theme. Recently, there was a crying theme. Another Suburban Mom talked about the manipulative crying of a co-worker and Karen talked about her random tear generator being in overtime mode. It was fascinating reading the two different perspectives and the comments that followed.

ASM's rant was one of what she perceives to be the manipulative behavior of women who cry at work. She said:

I think when women cry at work that it honestly sets us all back as a group. It perpetuates the myth that women are not good in management because we are 'emotional' and can't handle the stress.

I took issue with this statement because I feel the idea that women must act more like men (my interpretation of her statement) to be effective in management is a setback to women as a group. We aren't men. We aren't wired the same as men. We aren't supposed to be like men. I would argue that when we act like men - or buy into the idea that if we were more like men our value in the workplace would increase - we actually do more harm to women as a group than if we just cried once in a while.

Karen's post was from the perspective of unwanted tears - or tears that flowed due to what might be perceived as relatively minor issues. Now, Karen has been going through some significant medical issues and has felt the need to "act tough" (again, my words, not hers) and I think one of her commenters hit the nail on the head. Aunt Becky wrote:

I find that after I've repressed some emotion for a time, it comes burbling out my eyeballs. And while it embarrasses me, I need to be okay with it.

Boy, do I identify with this, and it usually happens when I've been forced to try to "act like a man."

Look, women (said generally) are emotional creatures. It's how we are wired. It is - in my opinion - the balance, the compliment, to men. When we get stuck in this thought that being more like men is of greater value to the workplace (something I believe is generated more by women than men), or to society generally, we just perpetuate the problematic thinking.

The problem isn't that women are sometimes more emotional than men, the issue is that other women society sees that as a weakness rather than a strength.

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Friday Wrap-Up

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You might remember the Virtual Cookie Exchange that Another Suburban Mom hosted in December. Well, she's at it again, this time with a Virtual Appetizer Exchange.

I'm a huge fan of finger foods, but I have a tendency to lose track of what I've eaten, so I always try to have a few healthier options on hand. This is one of my favorites.

(Yes ... these are ones I actually made - this morning - so that I could get a good photo for the post)

Cream Cheese 'n Herb Cucumber Bites

1 carrot, shredded (about 1/2 cup), divided
1/2 cup PHILADELPHIA 1/3 Less Fat Cream Cheese with Chive & Onion
2 cucumbers, cut lengthwise in half, seeded

Set aside 2 Tbsp. carrots. Mix remaining carrots with cream cheese; spoon into cucumber shells. Top with reserved carrots.

Cut each cucumber half into 5 pieces to serve.

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Thanks to all of you who managed to get through my self-harm story this week. It really wasn't something I had planned on sharing on the blog. It would have been much, much easier to keep this hidden from all of you. I appreciate the outpouring of support, both in the comments and from those of you who shared via email.

There were a handful of folks who felt I was trying to justify my behavior. Although I can see how someone might get that impression from the series, justifying, by definition, would imply that I am claiming self-harm/self-injury is "right." There were several times, throughout the series, that I mentioned this was an unacceptable, unhealthy way to deal with emotions. It is a behavior I am changing, not defending.

Some of these same people also took issue with my comparison of self-harm to other unacceptable, unhealthy ways of dealing with emotions (over-eating, alcoholism, etc.). My position isn't that they are identical, but rather that they have far more in common than we might think, and it is more productive to look for something we can identify with (compassion) as we try to help others, than it is to sit in our glass house with a handful of stones as we judge others.

I hope that in sharing my "shame" I have encouraged just one person to reach out for the help they may need in their lives, no matter what the behavior they face might be.

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One more thing, then I promise to quit rambling. Last week, a blogger that I first met through an email list, Ramblings of a devoted Baseball Mom, gave me this Blogger Love award. Although I won't be following the "rules" and passing it on (I know, you are all surprised by that) I did want to thank her.

Although I'm not naming names, just know that every single one of the blogs I read is special to me in some way - that's why I read them.

Have a great weekend and enjoy these first few days of spring!

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Awards and Eats

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Let's start with the awards, shall we? Not that I'm anal retentive or anything, but I feel a strong nagging need desire to tackle these topics alphabetically.

This award was given to me by Another Suburban Mom. ASM said, "Always honest and thought provoking. One day her blog makes me *gigglesnort* the next day it makes me want to fly out to her neck of the woods and hug her. Never disappointing."

I have this weird little quirk where, as I read, I try to guess what the sentence will say before I finish reading it. As I was reading the last sentence of ASM's description of my blog, I just knew it was going to say, "One day her blog makes me *gigglesnort* the next day it makes me want to fly out to her neck of the woods and beat her senseless." Ha! I was wrong! Imagine that. Please note the cute puppies on this award as it's likely the only time you'll see such an "AWWWW" picture on this blog!

Then, on Sunday, ASM gave me another award. Personally, I think this was her way of cyber slapping me up along side the head while saying, "Jane, you ignorant slut Dana, my dear friend! Accept the damn awards, would you?!"

Of course, this wasn't the official verbiage of the award. The official statement read, "These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated.”

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth ... KIDDING! Actually, I am quite flattered to receive both of these awards, especially from ASM who is one of my very favorite "Not-quite-a-mommy-blogger" bloggers!

There are, of course, rules and requirements for these awards. ASM is really good at obeying following the rules, I am not, but I do want to sincerely thank her for being a regular and appreciative reader!

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You might remember a few weeks ago I mentioned winning a one-year subscription to the meal planning website Relish! I have been diligently using that subscription and absolutely *love* it! I find that, with a specific list and plan, not only do I save time and money while grocery shopping, but we have far fewer leftovers.

There has been one "down" side. My family had become so accustomed to "processed" foods (i.e. frozen and prepackaged meals) that there has been a bit of an adjustment to the flavors and combination of fresh, innovative foods. What's surprising is that the resistance has not been from husband.

An example? I made a spinach salad with an oriental flair (oranges, avocados, radishes and a sesame oil/soy sauce dressing) that Cam was not at all thrilled about - he spent 37 minutes trying to gag down get down four bites. Yes, I'm an evil mother - I made him eat the salad first. He was so traumatized that he just couldn't eat anything else after that!

I thought I'd share one of the more "traditional" meals that was on my plan this past week - Calico Bean Soup (or, if you live in Minnesota, Lutheran Bean Hot Dish) and Homemade Cornbread.


Calico Bean Soup
Prep time: 30 minutes

6 bacon slices, chopped
1 pound ground beef
1/2 yellow onion , chopped
1/2 cup ketchup
1/2 teaspoon coarse salt
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon dry mustard
2 teaspoons cider vinegar
1 16-ounce can Bush's baked beans
2 15-ounce cans butter beans, rinsed and drained

~ In a large stockpot, over medium heat, combine bacon, beef and onion and saute until cooked through. Add ketchup, salt, brown sugar, mustard and vinegar and mix well.
~ Add baked beans and butter beans and stir well into mixture. Cover and simmer for 10 minutes or until heated through and serve.

per serving (recipe makes 4 servings): 389 calories; 20 grams protein; 14 grams total fat; 6 grams fiber;5 grams saturated fat; 45 grams carbohydrates; 48 mgs cholesterol; 910 mgs sodium

Homemade Cornbread
Prep time: 10 minutes Cook time; 25 minutes

1 cup all purpose flour
1 cup yellow cornmeal
1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon coarse salt
1 cup plain yogurt
2 large eggs

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

~ In a bowl, mix flour, cornmeal, sugar, soda, and salt. Add yogurt and eggs and mix just until blended. Pour into a buttered 8-inch to 9-inch square or round pan.
~ Bake until bread springs back when gently pressed in center, 20 to 25 minutes. Cut in squares or wedges. Serve warm.

per serving: 181 calories; 6 grams protein; 3 grams total fat; 2 grams fiber; 1 gram saturated fat; 33 grams carbohydrates; 57 mgs cholesterol; 411 mgs sodium

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Virtual Cookie Exchange

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Welcome to the first, annual (I hope!) virtual cookie exchange hosted by Another Suburban Mom (affectionately known as ASM). And yes, I can say affectionately as I've shared a shower with her! No, not at the same time, but that's just a technicality!

Let me start by saying I have a new appreciation for food bloggers. It's nothing for me to string a few paragraphs of nonsense together, but putting together this post took time, and lots of it! Of course, I could have just followed ASM's directions and posted a short story and the recipe, but you know me, always a show-off an overachiever!

This is the short, sweet story behind my recipe. When Cam and I moved to Minnesota due to a corporate buy-out (Cam was 18 months old), I felt very isolated. Not only did I not know a single person there, but I didn't even know where the nearest grocery store was. Fortunately, I found a single moms email list (yes, that same email list that has since been my Achilles heal in regards to this blog) and met S and her daughter M. They became a lifeline, and dear friends, to Cam and I. S introduced us to this recipe about 10 years ago, and it quickly became a favorite of Cam's. In fact, I'm pretty sure he ate his weight in the damn things the first time he tried them. They became known as:

Cam's Chocolate Chip Balls

Ingredients:

1 cup butter
1 cup butter flavor Crisco
1 cup brown sugar (packed)

2 egg yolks (save the whites)
2 tsp vanilla
5 cups flour
1 tsp. baking soda
12 oz. bag mini chocolate chips

Chocolate sprinkles (or mouse turds as they are known in our house)

Oops! Forgot to put the vanilla and the baking soda in the ingredients picture!

Cream together butter, Crisco and brown sugar.

Add the egg yolks, vanilla and baking soda.

Mix in the flour and mini chocolate chips.

Eat some of the raw cookie dough (get over your aversion to salmonella - live dangerously). In between eating bits of the dough, roll some of the remaining dough into 1" balls. Beat the egg whites with a fork. Dip the balls into the beaten egg white and then into the chocolate sprinkles.

Place about 1" apart on a non-stick cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees F for 8-10 minutes.

Cool on a wire rack.

I can't imagine you'll have any extras, but if you do, these freeze very well!

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Wednesday Wrap-Up

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What? Wednesday wrap-up? Y'all thought those only happened on Friday's, didn't you? Well, Friday is ASM's virtual cookie exchange, so I decided to move things up a few days.

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The Christmas tree hunt was a huge success. Cam chose a 9' Fraser Fir which was allowed a day to rest, and then decorated with passion on Sunday.

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On the PTO front, I had the wonderful task of firing a volunteer. One of the members accepted the coordinator position for our monthly Market Day Fundraiser, and has managed to create a major cluster-fuck out of it in only two months. Not only was the process unsuccessful, but she decided since she was coordinator, she didn't need to pay for her food order (to the tune of $122). After 3 unsuccessful attempts to contact her via phone, I was forced to leave a voice mail message for her and followed up with the following email:

This email serves as follow up my voice mail to you this afternoon outlining, and confirming, my message.

We appreciate your work on the Market Day fundraiser over the past two months, however the executive board of the PTO has decided it is in the best interest of the PTO, and of Market Day, to take over the responsibilities of the Market Day fundraiser. Effective immediately, we will no longer need your services with any part of the Market Day process. Please return any Market Day Materials to the middle school office. We will not need you to attend any portion of the Market Day pick-up tomorrow (December 10th).

As of 9AM this morning, we have still not received your payment for the Market Day order you placed, and picked up, in October. Please insure that payment is received in the PTO mailbox at the middle school prior to 4PM on Friday, December 12th. If this is an issue of financial hardship, please contact me directly either via email or at [phone number] so that a formal payment plan can be arranged. If payment is not received, or if payment arrangements are not made by 4PM December 12th, I will need to take legal action to collect the debt.

If you have any questions or concerns regarding anything contained in my voice mail, or in this email, please contact me directly. I will be the only person from the executive board - or from the PTO - who will be able address any concerns.

Regards,

PTO President

No one should ever have to "fire" a volunteer - ever! Unfortunately, after several promises made by her that were never kept, and a fundraiser that was beginning to tank, it was necessary.

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Christmas Meme

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I confess, I just wasn't feeling inspired by the TMI Tuesday questions today, so decided to do the Christmas Meme I found over at Another Suburban Mom's place. My goal was to answer the 25 questions in less than 5 minutes. Oops! How about less than 10 minutes - barely!

Because I know some of you might not want to spend 10 minutes with me, I've included the Reader's Digest condensed version below!

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1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?

Wrapping paper, preferably solid color, with curling ribbon. Or any leftover gift bags I might have!

2. Real tree or Artificial?

Real! An artificial tree? That's like non-alcoholic beer! In fact we hunt down and kill our own tree at a tree farm!

3. When do you put up the tree?

About two weeks before Christmas depending on the visitation schedule. We wait until a weekend that we have step-daughter with us.

4. When do you take the tree down?

New Years Day. By then I am tired of chasing the cats away from the tree.

5. Do you like eggnog?

Love eggnog, but not the 8700 calories/glass!

6. Favorite gift received as a child?

I was very active in band - both concert band and jazz band. In my early teens (14?) I received a Selmer Mark VII tenor sax for Christmas. I thought I had died and gone to heaven!

7. Hardest person to buy for?

Husband, because he buys his own gift every year before Christmas.

8. Easiest person to buy for?

Cam. He tells me what he wants - I buy it - we all live happily ever after!

9. Do you have a nativity scene?

Nope!

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?

Email? Christmas cards? Really? They either have a stamp on them or they don't count!

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?

I haven't ever had a "bad" gift, but growing up my grandparents used to get all of us girls the same item so it was only a surprise for the first one who opened hers.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?

Christmas Vacation!

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

Ummm ... when I have to!

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?

Never recycled, but have donated a gift or two to charity.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?

Soft sugar cookies with cream cheese frosting.

16. Lights on the tree?

Of course. Colored only.

17. Favorite Christmas songs:

Anything instrumental.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?

We stay home, although Cam really does need to get to Washington for a traditional family Christmas. He'll never be the same once that happens.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's?

I can! You'll have to watch the video for proof!

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?

Star!

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?

Usually Christmas Morning, unless we don't have husband's kids on Christmas morning, then it is Christmas Eve.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?

Nasty people who seem to have forgotten what the holiday is all about.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color?

Theme? Ha! We put whatever we have on the tree. Ornaments Cam made. Ornaments that were gifts. It's a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?

No favorite and no traditional dinner.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?

I want my children to experience, and gain appreciation for, the gift of giving. I'd like them to truly feel the meaning of Christmas.

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Friday Wrap-Up

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I had this brilliant idea, after my HNT yesterday, to do a post of my favorite non-sexual HNT's this week, but you know what? I had a heck of a time trying to find any! I did a google blog search for HNT, clicked on at least 150 links, and came up with ... well ... not enough to actually do a worthy post. Now mind you, many of the HNT's are not in-your-face nekkidness, but they still have a distinct sexual overtone to them. I know that mine usually do, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but I was. I think I'll attempt to do at least one emotionally half-nekkid HNT each month just to see if I can!

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I'm taking a trip this weekend to Indianapolis to meet up with a few bloggers. Most of you know that meeting new people TERRIFIES me. Logically, I know it's really not a big deal, but emotionally I worry about everything involved - from saying something completely dorky, to being a general disappointment. This type of event challenges my self esteem issues in the worst way.

I might even take a side trip to visit two other bloggers who have been on my "to do" list for quite some time. We'll see what happens. Either way, I will - of course - offer stories and photographic evidence of any and all activities that will not embarrass me or any other blogger with expressed written permission only!

EDIT: I have my iGoogle page set up to display my horoscope (just for shits and grins). Thought it was funny that today it read (some of you will appreciate this more than others):

You are no stranger to keeping secrets, yet now it's important that you know when to stay quiet and when to talk. There is much that can be safely shared, yet once you open the door, it will be hard to shut it without telling everything. Remember, discretion really is the better part of valor and today some things are better left unsaid.

.

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A few of my regular blog reads are offering up real, live holiday cards this season, I'll be doing my own holiday give-away (more on that later), and Another Suburban Mom (ASM) is organizing a VIRTUAL COOKIE EXCHANGE. This is seriously cool for all of you holiday bakers out there. All you need to do is pick your favorite holiday cookie, candy or food gift recipe and post it on December 12th. She also encourages that you write a story about why they are your favorites, or a nice memory about making them with grandma or grandpa. All you have to do is leave a comment on her VIRTUAL COOKIE EXCHANGE post letting her know you want to share. She is even putting together a special blogroll to list all of the participants.

You know you want to do it - all of the cool kids are!!

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