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On occasion I find an odd phenomena in the blogsphere - random blogs that I read have a common theme. Recently, there was a crying theme. Another Suburban Mom talked about the manipulative crying of a co-worker and Karen talked about her random tear generator being in overtime mode. It was fascinating reading the two different perspectives and the comments that followed.
ASM's rant was one of what she perceives to be the manipulative behavior of women who cry at work. She said:
I took issue with this statement because I feel the idea that women must act more like men (my interpretation of her statement) to be effective in management is a setback to women as a group. We aren't men. We aren't wired the same as men. We aren't supposed to be like men. I would argue that when we act like men - or buy into the idea that if we were more like men our value in the workplace would increase - we actually do more harm to women as a group than if we just cried once in a while.
Karen's post was from the perspective of unwanted tears - or tears that flowed due to what might be perceived as relatively minor issues. Now, Karen has been going through some significant medical issues and has felt the need to "act tough" (again, my words, not hers) and I think one of her commenters hit the nail on the head. Aunt Becky wrote:
Boy, do I identify with this, and it usually happens when I've been forced to try to "act like a man."
Look, women (said generally) are emotional creatures. It's how we are wired. It is - in my opinion - the balance, the compliment, to men. When we get stuck in this thought that being more like men is of greater value to the workplace (something I believe is generated more by women than men), or to society generally, we just perpetuate the problematic thinking.
The problem isn't that women are sometimes more emotional than men, the issue is thatother women society sees that as a weakness rather than a strength.
On occasion I find an odd phenomena in the blogsphere - random blogs that I read have a common theme. Recently, there was a crying theme. Another Suburban Mom talked about the manipulative crying of a co-worker and Karen talked about her random tear generator being in overtime mode. It was fascinating reading the two different perspectives and the comments that followed.ASM's rant was one of what she perceives to be the manipulative behavior of women who cry at work. She said:
I think when women cry at work that it honestly sets us all back as a group. It perpetuates the myth that women are not good in management because we are 'emotional' and can't handle the stress.
I took issue with this statement because I feel the idea that women must act more like men (my interpretation of her statement) to be effective in management is a setback to women as a group. We aren't men. We aren't wired the same as men. We aren't supposed to be like men. I would argue that when we act like men - or buy into the idea that if we were more like men our value in the workplace would increase - we actually do more harm to women as a group than if we just cried once in a while.
Karen's post was from the perspective of unwanted tears - or tears that flowed due to what might be perceived as relatively minor issues. Now, Karen has been going through some significant medical issues and has felt the need to "act tough" (again, my words, not hers) and I think one of her commenters hit the nail on the head. Aunt Becky wrote:
I find that after I've repressed some emotion for a time, it comes burbling out my eyeballs. And while it embarrasses me, I need to be okay with it.
Boy, do I identify with this, and it usually happens when I've been forced to try to "act like a man."
Look, women (said generally) are emotional creatures. It's how we are wired. It is - in my opinion - the balance, the compliment, to men. When we get stuck in this thought that being more like men is of greater value to the workplace (something I believe is generated more by women than men), or to society generally, we just perpetuate the problematic thinking.
The problem isn't that women are sometimes more emotional than men, the issue is that
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