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I shared a secret with a dear friend of mine, Real Live Lesbian. She was intrigued by the secret and asked me to write it as a "Guest Writer" on her blog (I feared a great deal of judgment if I shared the secret on my blog) Judge away - it's all a part of me. You can read the secret (in story form) HERE.
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23 comments:
What is there to judge? Are you the character in the story who wanted to meet someone to have an emotional relationship and not just sex? I don't think there's anything wrong with that if so and I doubt anyone else would either.
I have to agree with fairyflutters. Why would we judge you? And yes, what is there to judge? Perhaps some may take issue with keeping this from your husband, but that is certainly understandable, in my opinion.
Thanks for sharing this experience.
Here is to hoping you find that female relationship you're looking for...
"Judge not, least ye be judged". If life was fair and easy we would all get it right every day. I think your secret is the story of a search for that "something" we all seem to be searching for. That "something" could be anything. Love, sex, companionship, success, money, contentment, etc, etc. If you haven't asked yourself, if this is all I will ever have, or want, or need, or get, you must be dead or very young. It's easy to judge other people, Dana. What I think is vital to you is how you fairly judge yourself. All of the saints are in heaven. The rest of us our are here doing the best we can with the life we have. I judge you a perfect ten in the game of life.
Nothing to judge at all. We are all composed of different parts. And when I read that series on RLL's site, I didn't know it way you!
well done.
Brave, and a gift to us, that you would share something so intimate.
I am once again surprised by how similar our psyches are, Dana. Much like you my sexuality is not dependent upon the body an individual wears so much as the person themselves and the connection I feel with them. I'm so proud of your honest examination of the motivations behind your story, and what it is that you feel like you are trying to accomplish. I am even more proud of you for sitting down and opening the lines of communication between yourself and the husband man.
That was you???!!??? Cool!
Don't bother yourself with the Judgey McJudgersons. They're mostly just jealous anyway.
FF, yes, I am LouAnne, and the story took place as written. I'm sure some would question (judge) the infidelity.
Hubman, yes, the dishonesty would be the issue for some. As far as the female relationship goes? That process is currently on hold, but one that I now know I can pursue with honesty in my marriage.
Doomed, your point is a good one. Maybe it was really my self judgment I feared most.
Karen, I don't know that anyone would have ever known it was me.
Kat, thank you.
Biscuit, I can't help but think my story is not as unusual as it might seem. If nothing else, I hope that maybe someone in the same situation who might not feel quite as shameful knowing they are not alone.
Boo, bringing this up with husband was aided by a bit of liquid courage, but I am glad I opened up to him.
Jay, you didn't know? I wondered if anyone would recognize the writing style.
I liked the writing style but didn't think it was anyone I knew. RLL did a great job of not giving you away. To you and sharing your experience AND wanting to take ownership of it; *kisses*
I just read the end of the story over at RLL's place and made a comment about how I liked how the woman in the story stuck to her guns and held out for her original ideal. Your site was the very next blog I visited and SURPRISE! Now it all makes sense to me. I loved the whole story. Nothing to judge there.
OH MY..I have been reading with great anticipation and then to find out it is my dear Dana!
HUGS dear!
If the goal of life is to share happiness before we go, I think you are doing the right thing. A very good post. Thank you for being willing to share it.
"the names have been changed to protect the innocent..."
Thank you for sharing this with us. I can't wait to see how this turned out!
I'm glad you had the courage to follow through with your feelings. So often we deny ourselves.
Holy shit! I mean that in a positive way. I like reading RLL's blog and what she has to say, but...you...I'm glad that you can go both ways. Hey, get your mind outta the gutter! I meant the storytelling persona. Hehe. Wow.
I wondered if it was you....
Very well written and so much of what you wrote I have felt and dealt with myself. *hugs*
Lu, RLL did a great job of keeping anonymity. Initially, I had no real intention of sharing this story with my readers. She knew about the situation (who else do you go to when exploring female sexuality than your favorite lesbian?) and suggested I write it down. She even caught one BIG slip I made early on!
Knight, thank you!
Bond, you just never know what your dear Dana might be up to, do you?
Flyinfox, it wasn't the easiest thing to share!
Garbonzo, the problem is when there are others involved - husbands - children. It's a difficult balance and I'm not sure I've found it yet.
Nolens Volens, I can tell a story, although I do far better with non-fiction than fiction. Fortunately, my life is so screwy non-fiction often seems like fiction!
Vixen, you are quite astute, aren't you! I've certainly alluded to these things in the past, and being that you have traveled this path yourself, I'm sure you did wonder.
Dana:
Somehow, I knew this was you, I just wasn't sure how it was all going to fit together!
Now?
I'm really glad that you're able to still find something of yourself, even if it didn't end like you were hoping.
Live, learn, love..
These are the greatest gifts we're given, and to talk about them with others is even more special!
Great story!
I'm glad you shared that, it was a totally compelling story, especially knowing that it was really happening. Sorry that it didn't work out for you. Glad you found your voice. :)
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