~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~I was finally able to be honest with my parents and told them my marriage was likely coming to an end. At 44, you'd think I should be way beyond needing their approval, yet their support was surprisingly comforting and freeing.
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34 comments:
oh Dana I feel for you.....my parents were the last that I told...I finally gave them the news the week before I moved out of the house....I was scared to death of their reaction....I thought they would blame me...they surprised me with their support....I will pray for you and Cam.....you will be in my thoughts. If your heart is at peace with your decision, you can do this....... my thoughts are with you.....
I am sorry Dana. I know you have struggled for a while and it is very hard to get to this point. I know we have not always agreed but I think about you often and pop in here a lot too. Take care. I hope the new year brings you hope. Hugs! ~J
I'm glad they were comforting. I'm pulling for you Dana. I know it will work out for the best.
Good Luck.
God JuJu for you and Cam.
I think that your parents support is wonderful. Maybe, as for as your husband is concerned the marriage is already over. Is he waiting for you to be the brave one/scapegoat?
When my sister ended her marriage of 30 yrs., I was happy for her! The guy was a lazy, stupid dink, and this gave her time to find the guy she deserved, and enjoy the rest of her life...
Looking forward to you coming back in a year and calling this the best decision you could have made! You know we've got your back.
/v
I echo Volly's comments. The road ahead will be a little rough, but it will reap rewards at the other end. You are a goood trooper and you will drive on.
Breve, other than my blog readers, my parents were the first real people I've told. There was something cathartic in doing this.
Jaimey, struggled? I'm still struggling. It's not easy for me to go back on a commitment - not at all.
SS, it's not that I expected anything else, there was just some finality in putting it in words.
Doomed, I have no doubt the demise of this marriage must rest squarely on my shoulders. He needs to be without fault. I just need peace.
Buff, I think my parents just want what all parents want for their kids - to see them happy.
Volly, let's hope so, and let's hope I can actually go through with it!
Dana, at the same time ASM and I are happy and sad for you. We're sad anytime a marriage dissolves, but it certainly sounds like it's for the best.
We're thinking happy thoughts for you and Cam!
((huggs))
Somehow we never stop being that kid who wants parental approval. I struggle with that every day.
We are all here for you no matter where this new road takes you.
Oh Dana....You say the word..I'll come runnin...Weather er no....
Good to hear your parents are supportive....I'm sure they know you gave it your best shot...and that you aren't doing this lightly....
I'm sure you and Cam will be much happier
This being my third marriage, and final I do have a ton to say about this subject. But not now. Every day is one less. Reagarding the detail is one of the toughest things to go through.
You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, Dana. I'm proud of you, no matter what.
Dear Dana ~ I've been a long-time lurker; reading here and admiring your strength, courage and honesty. I REALLY admire your honesty because that is not something many people can be. For me, it's always hard to comment for the first time...but today is the day because I just have to tell you that I'm happy for you, but sorry at the same time.
In my opinion, you are too young to live your life like this, and it doesn't have to be this way. From everything I've ever read here, you do stand by your commitments and it seems to me that you have done your best to honor your marriage commitment--but you're not the only component here! With the situation being what it was at Christmas, put together with everything else...well, my honest opinion is that you and Cam deserve much better. I'm just so sorry that it had to be this way for you, when you have really tried.
Even though it is hard, you can do it...it would be so nice for you and your son to be able to have some contentment and peace of mind! I'm pulling for you!!
I was ready to leave my husband 3 years before I finally did. It was my mom who talked me into staying.
When my marriage ended as badly as it did 3 years later I think she felt badly for insisting I stay.
*hugs* I'm glad you have their support.
Hubman, it's very, VERY difficult to say, "Uncle" but it's also very, VERY difficult to watch the destruction.
Karen, the road continues to unfold.
Average, I don't expect needing much help - there is little here that I want - but I appreciate the offer.
Mind, I've finally come to the conclusion (this is my third as well) that I don't do marriage well. Let me rephrase that - I do marriage well, I just don't pick spouses well.
Boo, I continue to struggle with when it is OK to go back on my word - on my commitment.
Kim-D, you made my Sunday! I always like it when I coax a lurker out of the corner. It's not so much my life that has pushed me in this direction, but rather the example this marriage sets for my son.
Always great to know they're behind you.
I'm so glad your parents are behind you. I hesitated to tell my parents. I was so afraid they would think I didn't take marriage seriously. I couldn't tell them why for a couple of months. I told them I'd talk about it when I was ready, but they figured it out for themselves before I got around to it.
{{{you}}}
prayers to you! Happy New Year!
~AirmanMom returning to her blog...
I was finally able to be honest with my parents and told them my marriage was likely coming to an end Note the hesitation with the word likely. Life altering decisions are incredilby difficult. Take all the time you need Dana. As Karen said, we're here for you.
Vixen, fortunately, I think my parents know better than to try to talk me into anything!
Nolens, it was quite nice to share the weight of the world for a bit.
Biscuit, I was expecting a bit of a "Here we go again," but fortunately got none of that.
AirmanMom, prayers are always welcome!
Lu, as easy as this one might appear to be on the surface, it isn't.
That's one thing I've not been able to do. I can't tell my parents what's been going on. They knew there were some problems but that it was all him and things are fine now.
They would be supportive, but my mom would have so many questions that I don't want to answer.
I can't bring myself to tell them that he says he wants to fix things and that I'm the one that doesn't.
Yes, they've both things (especially my dad) to let me down in the past, but I feel like I would let them down and disappoint them.
I hope you find your happiness and your peace honey, because if anyone deserves it, it's you.
Saying it--making it 'real' --truly helps.
And of course you'll be the one because he refuses to be 'the bad guy'
In a sense, I am actually happy for you. Why? Because you are seeking the freedom that you deserve. Having read through your blog for close to a year now, I have seen you suffer emotionally. I am happy to know that you are taking matters into your own hands and getting away from the emotional abuse.
Yeah, its gonna hurt, but its a hurt in the right direction. Thank you for sharing this secret with us.
No matter how old we are, receiving support and approval for our decisions from our parents is always comforting and freeing.
HUGS TO YOU
No surprise at all: that kind of a decision/development is the sort of thing that can really shake us to our very foundation; is it any wonder that we wish the reassurance of those who reassured us when we were children?
I'm just glad that they were supportive. When I told my father that my marriage had come crashing down, he was anything but. The scars that left have still to heal.
Dana, I'm sorry to hear that this is coming to the end, but looking back on your post, it was obvious you weren't happy for a long time. I hope you can find some peace for yourself AND cam too. I wish you the best and you have my support. :)
It's great that your parents support you. You'll make it through this difficult time. Here's to better days in 2009 for you.
I'm glad they know and are supporting you.
does cam know?
Catching up with my blog reader and was caught by surprise. Thinking of you and wishing you the best.
It's been almost two years since I made my decision to leave. Parents were/are very supportive. But the death of one of them and illness of the other has slowed my life. So, like you, I'm still floating in a sort of limbo.. But, we keep going....
Good luck!
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