Interview Questions

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As I mentioned Saturday, Karen - who writes Smiling Through It All - offered to write five interview questions for any of her reader's who were foolish daring enough to to ask, and I asked! Karen did a great job and came up with some tough questions.

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1. While you were in the military did you experience any discrimination or harassment due to your gender? Or did you get any benefits or perks by way of being a woman?

I definitely experienced some harassment, but never any perks (other than not having to do as many push-ups as my male counterparts to pass a PT test)!

When I was stationed at Ft. Meade, I had a 1SG (that's First Sergent for you civilian types) who frequently made comments that would certainly be considered sexual harassment. The one that stands out most in my mind was the time he said, "You could be more than just a soldier to me" which was said during discussions regarding reenlistment. That wasn't the first such comment he made, nor was it the last, but it was the one that creeped me out the most. He was quite good at insuring there were no witnesses to these comments so that if I took it up the chain of command it would be his word against mine. I tolerated it, and tried to stay away from him as much as possible.

2. This week you talked a bit about the troubles Cam is going through. I want to know what Cam does that makes you proud?

This is a difficult question only because there is so much about him that makes me proud. He is amazingly creative and his imagination and talent are far beyond my grasp. Just one example of this is Cam's amazing affinity for music. He taught himself to play piano (he actually plays several classical pieces by ear) and continues to spend hours at the keyboard attempting to conquer the next composition. Last week, he was given a guitar (from his school principal of all people) and has already taught himself three songs over the weekend.

Aside from his creative nature, his nurturing personality is the other thing I am most proud of. Cam is (generally) a gentle giant. He sticks up for the underdog and has an amazing rapport with young children. In fact, the recent pissing/alpha male incident was the result of Cam seeking "justice" for someone who was being bullied and who Cam felt couldn't stick up for himself.

3. It is my understanding that you made a long move to marry to your husband. How did you two meet?

Husband and I have one of those "just missed" histories that actually started in the early 80's when I moved to the San Diego area and lived in a condo that backed up to his home. We both remember seeing each other around town, but we never formally met.

He and I ended up joining the Army at about the same time (1989 - he enlisted in San Diego, I was back in Washington State and enlisted there). We actually both attended AIT at Fort Sam Houston (TX) at the same time and our morning and evening formations were right next to each other. Again, we both remember the other from casual interactions, but never met formally.

Another 3 years passed and we both ended up at Ft. Detrick (MD). My roommate told me there was someone I must meet and introduced us. We became friends, and eventually "friends with benefits". This was just a few years after my husband's suicide, and I had no interest in making any kind of commitment, so this arrangement worked well for me. Husband, on the other hand, had just turned 30 and was looking for a wife, and to start a family. He went home on leave one weekend and came back engaged to the woman who would eventually become his first wife.

Husband and I remained friends and stayed in touch even after we both left the Army. Little know fact, Cam and my step-daughter were actually born in the same hospital (14 months apart). Anyway, when the company I was working for in Maryland was bought out by a large corporation, and I was required to relocate to the Midwest, I knew he was the only friend I would leave behind that I would truly miss.

After my move, we lost touch. On a whim, about 5 years later, I did an internet search trying to track him down and found his father. I emailed his father who gave me contact information for husband, but I never had the courage to contact him. I did find out that he and his wife had moved to the Chicago area though - just a 5 hour drive from where I was.

Months later, while visiting a friend in Chicago, curiosity got the best of me. I loved husband (as a friend) and really wanted to see him again. We met up for a few hours and the sparks flew. He and his wife had separated and I was not attached. We rekindled the romance and began long-distance dating.

After about a year of the long-distance thing we decided it was time to make things more permanent. I sold my home and moved Cam and I out to the Chicago area. We moved in with husband and 2-1/2 years later we were married. I started blogging about 18 months after we were married, which means y'all have spent about half of my marriage with me.

4. This may sound cheesy, but you are one of my "blogging heroes". I admire your openness and honesty and ability to state a differing opinion so gracefully. Who are are your blogging heroes and why?

Wow! This one really caught me off guard. Honestly made me question Karen's sanity for a moment!

Blogging Heroes huh? I'm going to go ahead and answer this although it has all of the makings of one of those questions where someone will feel bad because they weren't included, but you caught me on a good day - one where being politically correct isn't at the top of my list.

The bottom line? Every blog I read I read because there is something I find "heroic" about the blogger or their blog. I don't read out of obligation, although that is usually how I find new blogs to read. Someone new will stop by and leave a comment which always elicits a visit and often ends up as an addition to my reader. Maybe I did get a little politically correct there, but it's all true!

Let me start with Jay at Cynical Bastard. He writes in a way that makes me want to sit down and have dinner and a beer with him (in fact sometimes I do just that - cyberly of course). He is intelligent, spunky, funny and one of the sweetest bloggers I "know." He is a good guy and gives me faith that there are still good guys out there!

Jeff B at A Word In Edgewise is on my list too. He's there for his wonderful fictional writing, but also for taking on a project that another blogger started, then bailed on, that encourages fictional writing. I admire anyone who can put together a good piece of fiction and the fact that he encourages others just adds to his appeal.

Then there is Lynn at Real Live Lesbian. Her posts are often thought provoking and always from the heart. She writes things that make me stop and consider why I see the world in the way that I do, and that maybe there is another view I should take a look at. She has been an AMAZING support for me from the early days of my blogging. I admire, respect and love her as a blogger and as a friend.

5. Are you making a New Year's Resolution?

I don't usually make standard New Year's Resolutions (those where a new behavior starts on January 1st). I prefer to look at annual goals this time of year (yeah, I know, semantics) - things that I plan on achieving, but that require multiple steps. My focus this year is to provide an emotionally healthy home for Cam and I. As easy as this sounds, it really will be one of the toughest goals I've taken on in quite some time.

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So, are there any of you out there who are foolish daring enough to challenge me to interview you? Leave me a comment and I'll see what I can do!

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