~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~I have finally accepted that husband will never be a father figure in Cam's life. Rather than continuing to focus on what I think this family "should" be, I've begun focusing on what this family is. It's the only way I know of to insure Cam isn't sending this to Post Secret 10 years from now.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
14 comments:
Sounds like the best plan to me.
Wish I could offer you words of comfort or wisdom, but I'm in a similar mess, just a few years down the road from you.
I picture a tree...you've got the "root" of anger, then the major branches, that include "letting the root feed you" and the one labeled "free will in behavior." Sometimes it's hard to tell where those branches diverge, especially when it's your one and only who's up the tree and out on a limb.
Good luck to you, and I mean that sincerely.
Things change, for better or for worse- the only constant in our lives is change. Dealing in the now, is the best way to invest in the future...
It sounds like you have the right attitude. If he can't/won't be a father figure, at least I hope he is a good male role model. I have seen so many kids in the classroom that are missing that....
and you never know...hang in there and keep doing what you feel is best.
SS, I had hoped it would be different, but hoping isn't getting me anywhere.
Volly, all that I know for sure is that I've spent far too much time trying to make something out of this that will never be. Time to redirect that energy.
Buff, things do change, and maybe the fact that I'm backing off will offer husband an opportunity to change as well.
Dana, i don't know what to say, other than keep hoping, but a Male figure in the house is better than no figure..
Maybe eventually,,.. we can hope.. Send them to do things together, leave you outta it, just trips to the store, or something like that,, maybe there's a bonding that still hasn't happened.. Can't force it, but put the two in a situation as to where they are together,,.. without you.. and see.. maybe..
Wish you all the luck,..
~c
Such a hard situation! Lucky thing you are such a strong/smart person.
As long as you can, and I know you will, prevent the guy from being a negative influence on the Cam-Man. Cheers Dana!!
At least you've stopped dwelling on the past/present and moved forward with the future. Because of you, Cam will be a better person.
Sounds like you done your best, given it your best shot and what will be, will be. Better to get to the conclusion sooner rather than later eh.
Laters
Nicey
Breve, husband is - in some ways - a great role model. In others? *shakes head*
~c, you know, I struggle with the "A male figure in the house is better than no figure" concept at times. This is a fine line to walk.
Karen, parenting is generally a hard situation.
Matt-Man, I do believe that focusing on my relationship with Cam, rather than husband's relationship with Cam, has been a step in the right direction.
Nolens Volens, it's not so much focusing on the past as it is accepting reality.
Nicey, bottom line? I cannot "force" people to do the right thing. I can, however, chose to do the right thing!
Yep...good post and it makes perfect sense....
I think focusing on what 'is' is much more healthy and productive....even if it's not what you hoped for or would like.
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