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I often times have to listen to parents talk about how little Ashley Madison is in the gifted program and is struggling to maintain her A average. How theycompleted helped her with her science fair project for two months before the school district presentation. These parents are very aware that Cam is one of those kids - the ones who are *gasp* average performers. I hear the judgment in their words and I see the scrutiny in their actions. It hurts my heart. But this time? This time it's different.
You see, this report card will not earn me a coveted "My kid is on the honor roll" bumper sticker, but it sure as hell earned Cam a, "Damn son, I am so unbelievably proud of you" blog post! I think even he would feel that has far more value than a silly bumper sticker.
Many of you have been reading me long enough to know that school has been a struggle for Cam since his first day of Pre-K. If you want to read about his Asperger's Syndrome diagnosis, I talk about it [HERE].
This past year there was some question as to whether that diagnosis was correct and I had him reevaluated. Round II of testing/evaluation came up with a new label of ADHD (a kid just can't have enough labels). Quite frankly, I am beyond stressing out about labels. What I know is that I have a bright kid - with an IQ in the 130's - who was failing miserably. I don't care if they give him a Grey Poupon label, as long as I can help him meet his full education potential. The doctors recommended I try the medication option - specifically Concerta.
Due to some issues we had with the initialquack family doctor who I worked with to get the Concerta prescription started, we were midway into the school year before starting on the lowest dosage of Concerta, and didn't find a dosage that worked until the beginning of the final term.
From a parental perspective, this has been quite a frustrating process. It required that I covertly pursue the medication option - husband was VERY against medicating Cam. It took almost an entire school year to get the medication at a workable level AND to get the school to provide the organizational support Cam needed. There were times when I wondered if he - or I - would ever make it through 7th grade.
Well, all of the diligence on my part - and hard work on Cam's part - paid off! Some of you will look at this report card and wonder how in the world I can "brag". You'll make assumptions about my parenting, my priorities and Cam's abilities. All I can say isFUCK YOU it's all about progress, not perfection, and Cam made AMAZING progress in the final term of the school year.
This is his report card for the year - all four semester's grades are listed. His final semester he didn't get any grade lower than a C, and the majority of his grades were A's and B's. It's not perfect, but it is a wonderful accomplishment for him!
This past year there was some question as to whether that diagnosis was correct and I had him reevaluated. Round II of testing/evaluation came up with a new label of ADHD (a kid just can't have enough labels). Quite frankly, I am beyond stressing out about labels. What I know is that I have a bright kid - with an IQ in the 130's - who was failing miserably. I don't care if they give him a Grey Poupon label, as long as I can help him meet his full education potential. The doctors recommended I try the medication option - specifically Concerta.
Due to some issues we had with the initial
From a parental perspective, this has been quite a frustrating process. It required that I covertly pursue the medication option - husband was VERY against medicating Cam. It took almost an entire school year to get the medication at a workable level AND to get the school to provide the organizational support Cam needed. There were times when I wondered if he - or I - would ever make it through 7th grade.
Well, all of the diligence on my part - and hard work on Cam's part - paid off! Some of you will look at this report card and wonder how in the world I can "brag". You'll make assumptions about my parenting, my priorities and Cam's abilities. All I can say is
This is his report card for the year - all four semester's grades are listed. His final semester he didn't get any grade lower than a C, and the majority of his grades were A's and B's. It's not perfect, but it is a wonderful accomplishment for him!
I often times have to listen to parents talk about how little Ashley Madison is in the gifted program and is struggling to maintain her A average. How they
You see, this report card will not earn me a coveted "My kid is on the honor roll" bumper sticker, but it sure as hell earned Cam a, "Damn son, I am so unbelievably proud of you" blog post! I think even he would feel that has far more value than a silly bumper sticker.
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41 comments:
Good for Cam. I am willing to bet that now that you've got him dosed correctly and working with the school that the "honor roll" bumper sticker is not far behind.
And to the parents of precious little Ashley you know that Ashley is going to crash and burn in college because her parents did everything for her and she can't cope on her own.
Yea!! What ASM said. I think that you and Cam should both be proud of your hard work. Winston Churchill gave a speech where the theme was never give up. He was a smart man. You are a smart lady.
IU was lucky enough to get my kid on Concerta in the 2nd grade. He went from F's and being in constant trouble to Honor Roll in a matter of weeks.
We tried adderol when the concerta seemed to be not working as well and my kid reverted back to being terrible distracted and having very little impulse control. so we went right back to it.
Wow. The difference in those grades is amazing. It is clear that the meds are working. I don't think your husband's outlook is all that outlandish. I know a lot of parents who are resistant to or non-believers in meds for kids. In your case, it is totally clear that things are working now and that is all that matters!!
Tell Cam that someone else is also proud of him!
You should be proud! The improvement through his year is what is important. From failing to passing in the last semesters...
Yay Cam!
way to go Cam!
That is some progression!! Well done Cam!!!
I'm glad that you found something that works for him, and you, the proof is in the pudding so to speak.
I like your new avatar, I really did think that was an awesome picture of you. :)
Have I told you the story? Of Matt being tested when he was in 3rd grade? Diagnosed as ADHD...I was against medication. I went on a business trip for 14 days, came home and a few days later said 'gee, matt seems to be calmer' I was then told he was medicated.
We went through Ritalin and Concerta (Matt hated that one) and all the other options over the years as they tend to slow down on their workability.
There is a HUGE improvement in Cam's grades. I bet his teachers would all say he now sits quieter in class and is not as fidgety.
The only thing to watch is that his homework gets turned in. Our biggest problem - the work got done, but many times never made it to the teacher.
CONGRATS TO CAM and you for doing what needs to be done to give your son a shot.
And to those 'my kid is gifted parents'...be careful, your kid probably is not leading such a full life and will have tremendous social problems when they leave your little hive.
As a spouse of a teacher, I don't place much value in the whole "gifted thing". If he had a dollar for every time a parent thought their kid was gifted, he would be a rich man. And as for the kid whose parents completed her project - they didn't fool anyone especially the staff who is likely dealing with issues that her parents would rather not get out. Issues that will get greater as time goes on - and will eventually cause her to crash and burn - or at least rebel like crazy! (Can you tell I've seen this before?)
Myself, I enjoy stories like your son's. Finding success after struggling like he did is amazing. And, an amazing lesson for him as he grows older. Persistence pays off.
Great job, Mom! While he may have done the work, your persistence with the school and the doctors cannot be ignored in this celebration! :-)
That's amazing progress. Good for him, and good for you! :-)
Dana, I think it is absolutely spectacular!!! With a son that was diagnosed as ADHD with Oppositional Disorder, I have seen a lot of those grades on the left side of the report card. And when he started getting B's and C's I was so very happy!
I think you DO deserve Mother of the Year. It has certainly been a struggle for both of you and it's finally paying off. Thank you for proving to those who do NOT believe in medication that it does indeed work. Yes, I know that's not the point, but it angers me when people think we put our kids on medication just to "make them act better" because "we can't control them". That is SO not the point.
Bravo!!!!!
I'm sure I mentioned before, my youngest at age seven wasn't fitting in, nor doing well in class. The school called us in and discussed Ritalin with us. We got with our Pediatrican, and started him on limited doses. The results were dramatic! He never took it on week ends, summer vacation, or after school hours. He out grew the need for it at puberty, and we have never regretted the decision we made..
That is awesome! A huge improvement!
Definitely something to be hugely proud of!
Kim
first...while Cam's efforts are worth all your pride...I am truly very proud of YOU as a parent.
You went up against doctors and school administrators...and probably had to really be the tough mama with Cam. (not to mention the issues in your marriage)
It was worth all the other stuff you've posted about. His progress has been great!
On a side note ... very gifted children have as many special needs as those who are challenged. There is a time to kick a kids ass when they don't keep their straight A average...and many of them do just fine at school...out on their own...and as young adults.
That is amazing--amazing--progress, and you have every right to be proud.
I can tell you, it's far easier to be a gifted kid and maintain A-grades than to be a struggling kid and bump a D to a C.
Congrats to him!
That is awesome improvement! :)
peace...
Well done Cam! I think that honest effort and steady progress is all anyone can really ask of anyone. And BTW, all those Mommy Blogger with the perfect little snowflakes? They're lying. Their lives are just as dysfunctional as the rest of us. They just live in a pharmaceutical induced alternate reality where everything is perfect.
Another Suburban Mom, you know, I don't really care if I ever get the "honor role" bumper sticker, as long as I can be influential in Cam's personal success, all is well in the world!
we're doomed, I think it's safe to say that we are!
Hammer, the progress for us was much slower as we navigated a few bumps in the medication road, and a doctor that "gave up," but I think we're headed in the right direction now!
Dana that is awesome. I Have ADD and it does not take me long to go off in another world and it starts when we do not understand things.. It gets really hard and then we just give up we feel as if asking for help will make us look more crazy than what we feel we already are.
What you are doing with Cam is the same thing my dad did with me as far as trying to find ways to help me stay on track. I was homeschooled tho so I did not have to put up with a lot of the "parents" that let you know that my kid is better than yours thing!!
I got on track through a medication and before to long I was off of the medication and I did a great job, I am in college and everything.
Cam what I want to say to you is Hang in there, You did an awesome Job. Not only is your mom proud of your grades I can see that she is proud of you no matter what!
You did a great Job and I am proud of you also!
Nehya
Karen, even husband had to admit that he has seen a significant change. That, in itself, was nothing short of miraculous!
Bette, I will do that!
Flyinfox_SATX, it wasn't without a battle or two, and constant vigilance on my part, but it was an improvement we could both see!
Looks to me like progress was made, and forward progress is a great thing.....on the other hand you could always get a bumper sticker that says"My kid beat up your honor roll student"! Have a Happy Day and Smile...it makes people wonder what you've been up to!
snugs, patience and persistence got him to where he is!
g-man, there has been a lot of tweeking to get where we are, and I'm hoping that the motivation and pride follow through to next year!
Bond, I think that we've finally gotten all of the pieces together - meds to help him focus - the school teaching organizational skills in addition to coursework - a commitment from me to fight the battles at home with love, caring and concern!
Fantastic! You should be extremely proud...and he should too!
Screw those parents! All three of mine were honor students; I never helped and they didn't struggle, but so what? It never occurred to me to brag about them to other parents and I would NEVER put one of those dopey stickers on my car! And I was proud, but......I am more proud of the adults they have become which has NOTHING to do with their academic record.
And I agree with Jay....I taught honors students....the ones who were not on prescription drugs, were self medicating themselves with alcohol and other illicit drugs....WHY? Because mommy and daddy wanted perfect children! At grading time, I had 17 years old come to me in tears begging me to "give" them an A because their B would earn them 3 weeks of being grounded!!!! Are you kidding me???
I hope the meds continue to work for him....however, I think this new accomplishment will do wonders for his self esteem and hopefully give him the confidence that he can do it!!!
congrats!
Emmy, I could do an entire series of posts on "giftedness" I think ALL children are gifted - some in academics, some in the arts, some in their caring soul. I get frustrated with what I see as the arrogance of parents who won't include my child in their child's activities because he isn't "gifted" Overcoming struggles is a life lesson that will serve Cam well as an adult, and I wouldn't trade it for all of the "honor role" bumper stickers in the world.
3carnations, I am proud of myself in all of this too - for sticking to my guns when it would have been far easier to just back down.
Bina, I think Mother of the Year might be a stretch, but I after I was done showering Cam with praise I did pat myself on the back too!
buffalodick, it was not an easy decision for me to make, but after spending YEARS trying everything else, it was pretty clear that something needed to change. The meds allowed all of the other stuff we (the school and I) were trying to finally work.
Kim, he's a great kid and hopefully, at some point in his life when he needs to remember what overcoming struggles feels like, he'll be able to think about this time and know it can be done again!
katherine, it's a funny thing. I actually said to husband, "I was hoping you might compliment me on my efforts in helping Cam through this." His response? "You didn't do anything that you should be proud of. I started to wonder if my own pride was out of place.
Ms. Inconspicuous, good to see you! I look forward to the day when those C's get bumped up to B's. I know he can do it, and more importantly, I think he knows he can do it!
theybelongtous, thank you!
Jay, I'm not even sure it is even pharmaceutical induced alternate reality. Some times I think they just believe that if they can hide the truth it doesn't exist! If there's one thing I know, it's that there is no such thing as perfect people (some of you will start singing that song now).
NE~ISM, I do know that Cam is easily overwhelmed by multi-step processes. If he can't immediately see how to get to where he needs to go, getting there is next to impossible. Helping him to organize his thoughts and actions has been one of my greatest challenges!
Granny Nanny, I'm opting for the "My oboe player can blow your honor student away" bumper sticker!
Breve, I was one of those honor students - was able to breeze through school with little effort - but anything less than an A brought severe physical punishment. I often wonder if I'd have made it out alive had I had the struggles that Cam has had.
I'm so happy for you and Cam! Fuckin' YAY! How wonderful to finally get everything synched. This has to rock his self-esteem! :)
Way to go Cam and Mom - that is amazing progress!!
...this is nothing less than a "what's right in the world" post...Bravo! to both of you!...
Wonderful! And to hell with "Ashley Madison" and her silly parents. ONLY YOU know how things were a year ago and how hard Cam worked. Onward, upward, forward.
...and who knows what turns Ashley Madison's life could take in the next 3-4 years???
frikkin A.
Hell of a job Cam.
Congrats.
Congrats to Cam on the grades!!!
Getting these sorts of things under control can be a very long ordeal.. But it looks like you're pretty much there now!!! Enjoy it!!! :):):)
Way to go, Cam!!
Maybe 10 years ago I found info from some organization or school in Colorado that helped kids like mine... and like yours, I guess. They call them "twice gifted"... I like to think of him as extra special, with his high IQ and incredibly difficult time making his way through the world. He'll be 16 in a week and a half. It has not been easy, but we are both alive. Heck, the whole family is alive. There was no way I'd send him several states away to go to school, but we tried just about everything else. What has been working for us for the past few years is that he goes to an independent study program. Schoolwork at home five days a week, with two hour long sessions a week at school to submit work and take tests. Music club, field trips and fencing for socialization away from home. It's a good program (everything but the fencing is part of the program). Maybe there's something in your area like it. Of course, that's in addition to weekly counseling and daily meds.
That's just awesome Dana. And I'm all for comparing your child's accomplishments to *their* priors...not other children.
:)
awww. I'm glad to see such great progress. You SHOULD be proud.what a great way to end the year!
That's pretty incredible! It took a lot of hard work to get from Ds and Fs to As and Bs! Way to go, Cam!
Hot damn! That is great! Hope Cam feels proud of this too!
Way to go Cam! That is awesome improvement to be proud of! Screw them honor roll bumper stickers....they are just a big laugh anyhow....Now that report card is something to be proud of!
That's *fantastic* progress, you both have every right to be proud. The health system is a complete nightmare, I went through something similar when they diagnosed me as gifted but misdiagnosed me with ADHD. I'm glad you've managed to weather what seems to be the worst of it!
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