Don't Feed the Trolls

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I have gone back and forth on this post, wondering which way was best to handle it. Do I heed the "Don't feed the trolls" advice? Do I give you directions to the troll (and I could give you much, much more than just an email address)? Do I reprint the troll's emails which include such gems as:

"Maybe among your many other unresolved problems you are also suffering from multiple personalities and maybe it was the bad naughty Dana that mailed nude pictures of herself to at least 2 men that I know of, but I suspect many more."

... or ...

"btw,all those thin mints might just be part of the cause of the re-gained weight..just a thought I've never seen such an obsession with naked and thin mints."

... or how about ...

"Oh my, you want me to substantiate now...okay girlie- let me go print out those pics, where should I post them? What is your school board pres's email?? Should I start there, or no, maybe the pastor or better yet just go to the entire school board..here is your local Miss Harper Valley PTO at your service..add a sleeve of thin mints now would ya!"

Such a quandary ...

Anyone who has ever had a troll knows they are special people. As Andrew Heenen puts it,

"... and I believe that most trolls are sad people, living their lonely lives vicariously through those they see as strong and successful.
Disrupting a stable newsgroup (or blog) gives the illusion of power, just as for a few, stalking a strong person allows them to think they are strong, too.

For trolls, any response is 'recognition'; they are unable to distinguish between irritation and admiration; their ego grows directly in proportion to the response, regardless of the form or content of that response.

Trolls, rather surprisingly, dispute this, claiming that it's a game or joke; this merely confirms the diagnosis; how sad do you have to be to find such mind-numbingly trivial timewasting to be funny?

Remember that trolls are cowards; they'll usually post just enough to get an argument going, then sit back and count the responses (Yes, that's what they do!)."

Yep! That's pretty much it in a nutshell!

There are several recommendations for deterring trolls, and I pretty much did everything I shouldn't have done. The biggest violation? I deleted the troll's comments. Since we know that trolls are all about stirring the pot, a logical person would deduce that taking away the troll's stirring stick is one of the worst things to do. Clearly, I reacted emotionally rather than logically, but GREAT news! I have decided to make amends.

There was an exchange that I deleted in the comments section of my Wednesday Weirdness post. Fortunately, I've been saving my trolls comments via email and was able to recreate - word for word - the exchange.

Dana said ... snugs, back away from the keyboard ... you're getting a bit obsessive ... again ...
March 25, 2009 9:33 PM

snugs said ... when did responding to your dig become obsessive? It is no different that what you do on dozens of blogs each and every day.
March 25, 2009 9:47 PM

Dana said ... snugs, not only are you obsessing, but you're flat out lying.
March 25, 2009 10:01 PM

snugs said ...oh really? just like I am lying about you sending nude pics of yourself to random men you don't even know? Wonder what the PTO would think of that, or the hubby, or even the preacher? Dozens might be an exaggeration, I will give you that, but you have one set of rules for your blog and you in no way adhere to those on others blogs. In fact I think you are the only one I frequent that has any of these rules, its just another form of your control. Your new positive approach is only applied here. Sticking to the days post and what it pertains to is also only applied here. I know sorry snugs I have to delete your comment because it broken my rules-go for it Dana, you have control, you like to call names, I have one for you- hypocrite Oh wait, isn't it almost time for another nude pic to post? Or did you already mail them all out to random strangers again today?
March 25, 2009 10:12 PM

Most of you already know that I have a list of random strangers that I send nude photos to. Not to worry, I've numbered you all as Clients Number 9 through 817. Confidentiality is a priority in these matters.

My troll insists - in true troll fashion - that "policing the blogs is not my deal. I leave that to you and doggy. The adult warning was not my point. Its funny how you mis interpret practically every thing I say."

Well, that's great news! The Adult Warning has been removed, but dear reader's, don't be surprised if it comes back! I think my loving troll will likely retaliate. Although I've done my darnedest to appease the troll, I'm thinking that giving the troll proper acknowledgment and attention in this post will not be enough.

As far as "mis interpreting" what the troll says ... I'll let my readers decide.

I have come to the conclusion that there is one EXTREMELY valid point that I missed in all of this - I cannot claim to be a proponent of free speech, then delete comments on my blog. That is - indeed - hypocritical!

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Here's To Free Speech - Unless You Are Being Mean

There has been a lot of discussion in my internet neighborhood recently regarding websites like Get Of My Internets that are dedicated to focusing on:

In case you are not familiar with this type of website, it basically offers a forum where people can be judgmental, critical and nasty about "high profile" bloggers and what they write. These forums are a haven for internet gossip.

It seems some (most?) people believe "it's simply impolite to make judgmental comments about someone within their presence – especially without being invited to do so." And they never fail to use the "B" word ... BULLY!

There are also bloggers out there who have written open letters to their internet trolls stating (in part):

I get it. 

Trolls suck. 

I've certainly had my challenges with trolls (DoggyBloggy, snugs, the petty, vindictive asshole acquaintance who attempted to get me fired by sending my URL to my employer, etc.). I do believe bloggers are entitled to choose to delete attacking comments and to block offenders' URLs, without question. A blog is the personal space of the blogger - their internet house if you will. The author of the blog has some control over that space.

But to claim no one should ever say anything "bad" (bad as defined by the blogger, not by the people who are writing outside of that blogger's space) or disparaging about any blogger anywhere? To call that bullying?

Ridiculous I say ... absolutely ridiculous!

I don't shy away from controversy and confrontation, although I prefer to do it in public. In some people's opinions, I don't deal with it in the most mature way (i.e. calling people out in this space). 

I'm good with that.

I've written posts on this blog that have pissed people off (this one will likely be no exception) and I intend to continue doing that. My opinion is mine to share. You decide if it is of any value to you.

I don't believe in the "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all ... at least not to my face or where I, or my adoring readers, might find it" mentality.

I think Lancelle from Paris says it best in Mommy Bloggers Wish You Would Keep Your Comments To Yourselves (and I don't think this AGREE WITH ME OR YOU ARE A MEAN BULLY phenomena is specific to Mommy Bloggers - it seems to be wide spread):

What do you think? 

Should sites such as Get Of My Internets be shut down because they are encouraging "bullying"?

Or is it actually more respectful to the blogger - for readers who find them irritating, whiny, ignorant, whatever - to keep their nastiness of the blogger's space, using these forums instead?

Friday Wrap-Up

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Want to find out who your real friends are? Need a big old slice of humble pie? Gotten just a bit too big for your britches? Participate in HNT for 18 months, decide you really don't like the "unintended message" you are sending (Emmy, you have no idea how much that post impacted me) stop participating, then pull most all of your HNT shots from your archives.

You'll quickly learn that many (most?) HNT-ers (and Thursday lurkers) don't like you or what you write, nor do they admire your photography skills, they just like to pad their stats (HNT-ers are very loyal on Thursdays), look at nekkid pictures and feel like part of the "in" crowd.

This isn't meant to badmouth HNT or all HNT-ers. I forged a few great friendships through my participation in HNT. Generally, HNT-ers are a supportive, well-mannered group of people. I realize that time changes all things, but it saddened me to see something that should have been (was?) - at most - a sensual photo-meme, turn into a hook-up place for extra-marital affairs and alternative lifestyles. A place where the "guidelines" and the expectations were not reflective of one another. A place where gossip and back-stabbing were becoming more and more frequent and more and more difficult to hide. A place where those most vulnerable were "groomed" and sometimes taken advantage of (IMHO). A place where art was no longer art - where it was more important to show more than it was to convey more emotion. And I was part of the problem.

I got caught up in it all; the attention, the illusion of belonging, the superficial friendships. Eventually the attention HNT was bringing was far worse (and I'm not talking trolls here) than the lack of attention I was experiencing before I started participating.

Think I'll ever see the day when my WWC pictures get 52 comments and 542 page visits? Yeah ... me neither, but I'm OK with that. I know that those of you who come by here are not here out of a sense of obligation, nor to generate one more comment - one more stat count for your blog - but because you actually want to take the time out of your day to stop by and say hello.

Sex may sell, but it can also sell you out. I sold out and became someone that I didn't like very much.

Any HNT-ers reading this are likely going to feel a strong urge to justify their participation - been there - done that. Quite frankly, it's not my place to judge. I just know that it was no longer right for me.

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I received the following email Tuesday from the "Team Mom" for Cam's football team:

We'd like to tp the cheerleaders houses before their competition on Saturday. We would like them done on the 23rd at night of course. I will coordinate the houses and get all the supplies for everyone. If you are interested, contact me and I will give everyone lists of houses to "hit". Thanks!

Really? Am I just so uptight that the thought of having my house TP'd doesn't elicit some wonderful "I'm popular" response? Are we also going to send a team out to clean up the TP the next day? Do adults realize this is vandalism?

I was so taken aback by this request that I had to read it several times to convince myself that this was a 40-year old woman sending the email. And no, I won't be participating.

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Did you know this week was GANG INITIATION week? Apparently there is this really well written email traveling the internets that says it is - and our school district has gotten so many phone calls from parents keeping their kids home because of it - that our school district had to send out a tweet AND a rapid response phone/email message to all parents to assure them it was a hoax.

A local OpEd writer even took on the urban legend in this article.

Parents? If you have a computer in your home and access to the internet, you really should become familiar with snopes.com

Oh, and by the way? Wikipedia really isn't a credible research reference either. Those 15 facts your son contributed to the science fair project he and Cam are working on might as well have been pulled from a Cracker-Jack box!

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From the Are You Kidding Me? idiotic employer policies file ... Early last week we received a memo from the company President telling us that holiday decorations were a no-no this year (for the first time in 86 years) and that we were now going to be limited to THREE visible personal items in our cubicles. You know, another one of those "Let's kick them while they're down because they should be grateful they have a job" policies.

Because he clearly didn't think he was being enough of a moron with that policy, he sent out an email this week - complete with a link - asking us all to vote for his house in the [NAME OF CITY] Spooktacular Halloween Decorating Contest. Seriously. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried!

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A Strange Thing Happened On The Internet Today

I suppose these things happen all of the time now that the world is not so small ... but this one caught me off guard.

I was accepting an invitation to connect from a co-worker on LinkedIn, and clicked on one of those "people you may know" links. Up came Christo Gonzales ... better known to me as Doggy Bloggy ... one of my favorite trolls (I wrote about him here and here). To say he was a pain in my ass would be an understatement. He frequently trolled this blog, and threatened to "out" me on numerous occasions.

So ... I thought to myself, I wonder what Doggy Bloggy is doing these days, since he's popping up on my LinkedIn, and you know what I found out?

HE'S DEAD!!

Now, I know people die all of the time, but it's just a little weird when someone who caused so much grief in your on-line life turns up dead.

Even more strange?

When you start reading the tribute posts (here, here, and here) from others who knew him online (he was better known as ChezWhat? to most others).

He was a father, a husband, and an asshole.

Like so many people online, there were two very different Christo's ... the one who was clearly a good friend and inspiration to many, and the one who felt compelled to stalk my blog and leave very nasty comments ... sometimes 50+ harassing, demeaning, and concerning comments on a single post, that later I would delete.

I don't know why he did what he did on this blog, and I don't know if I was the only blogger that he did this to, I just know that I knew a very different person than many did.

And I find that very strange ...

Satchmo

Remember that thing we called "Half-Nekkid Thursday"? It was a great community, even with its occasional drama and infiltration by the morality trolls.

But a year ago, it became little more than a tale - a badge of blogger honor if you will - one of those "Remember when ...?" things ...

Today it is back

*CLICK* - NSFW

Mike bought me Satchmo (a.k.a. Kindle Fire HD) for an anniversary/Christmas gift.

I swore I would never convert to an e-reader - that there was nothing that could replace the feel and smell of real books.

Although I still have a special place for real books, I've discovered there really is a place for a tablet/e-reader too. It's a little colder place - a little harder place - but there is a place for it.

I just have to be a little more careful when I fall asleep with Satchmo in the bed ...

I Need To Let This Go

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I am usually pretty good at stating my opinion on things, and then letting them go. When I don't have an opportunity to discuss something that has upset me, I tend to obsess mull it around in my little head for far too long. I've had one of those issues for about six months now. My guess is that neither of these people even read the blog any longer (it was amazing how many readers I lost when Cam and I finally moved out), but this isn't being done for them. I'm being selfish today. Pardon me while I do a little brain purging.

When I was still with husband, there were two very verbal (via email usually) commenters on my situation (no, not my favorite trolls Snugs and DoggyBloggy). It's fair to say that any negativity I hear hurts my heart, but when someone is completely off base, yet believes they are right - when those same people take those beliefs out publicly, spew them to mutual friends, claiming they *know* things that I am too embarrassed to publish in the blog - when they claim I am abusing my son - that is beyond hurtful. That is simply hateful.

There were many accusations that I was so greedy - so materialistic - that I was choosing money and a big house over the safety and well being of my son. These accusations were so far off I didn't even know how to address them. Even funnier, one of those making the accusations has admitted spending issues that have put her own family in financial peril. The other one routinely plays the single mother, financial sympathy card, then boasts about traveling without her children to meet up with friends.

Now, I am open minded enough to take into consideration that, in both these cases, what I "know" is limited to what each of them has shared publicly. That there might, indeed, be more to the situation than what they've shared. Neither of these people - people I've know through blogging for years - could find it in themselves to give me that same consideration. Instead they spread half truths to mutual friends via Facebook, through email and in person. I cannot think of any possible good for this type of behavior.

I share a great deal on this blog. I regularly bare my soul and expose my shortcomings. I don't post things in an attempt to make myself look good. In fact, it's not unusual for me to post very painful personal flaws. I do this not as an invitation to be beat up, but because we all have those flaws and I believe the only way to make ourselves better people is to face the reality of those flaws.

I live in a world where I've seen, first hand, the the damage and destruction gossip brings. I've heard all of the excuses these types of people make for their actions, none of which make any logical sense. I have spent far too much time and energy wondering what motivated these people to do the things they did and have come to the realization that I will NEVER understand their motivations - and that is a good thing.

Although I've all but eliminated both of these people from my cyber life, occasionally our paths cross. I'll read a comment they've made on a blog we both read, or I'll see another blogger post some glowing recognition of one of them. I want to just SCREAM at the top of my lungs what arrogant, hateful things these people have done to me behind closed doors.

But I don't, and the only reason I don't is because if I do, I become just like them. And that thought is far worse than knowing the things these people have said and done when they thought no one was looking.

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It's a Blogiversary!

It was 6 years (and a few days) ago that I wrote my first blog post in my little corner of the interwebs. It was appropriately titled, Virgin Blogging.

I know ... I know ... I was just as insightful then as I am now ...

A lot has happened in these 6 years:

• Cam successfully navigated public middle school, 18 months at a theraputic day school, and is now smack dab in the middle of his senior year of high school. He also went from looking like this

To looking like this ...

• I went from being in a beautiful .5-million dollar home and a terribly unhappy (and abusive) marriage, to walking away from it all for a 2-bedroom apartment in a very run-down complex and furnished with FreeCycle and the few things I was allowed to take.
• After 40+ years of learning just how unlovable I am, I met Mike who has shown me that I was lovable all along.
• I lost a prestigious job in my degree field and began working in accounting again. This was a job that I hoped would be a 2-year, temporary gig while Cam's educational needs were addressed, but has turned into a hell-hole that I find myself trapped in for at least another year or so (I'll be "celebrating" 6 years at this job in January).
• I got nekkid quite a few times, then became disillusioned when that tight knit community started to change
• I gained 117 lbs, and have lost 98 lbs (so far) after having bariatric surgery.
• Friends have come and gone. I did a volunteer stint with Band Back Together, then was somewhat ostracized by that community after writing about my experiences volunteering with them. I keep in touch with 3 of the 5 people who commented on my very first blog post via Facebook, and one of those people (Meg, from This Big Happy) is still blogging! The other two? Well, they are both still around, or so I hear, but neither of them want anything to do with me any longer.
• Where blogging used to be my primary outlet - and twitter soon followed - I now spend more time on tumblr and Facebook than I do on blogging and twitter
• I've had a bonafide (and reported) cyberbully and several trolls. I've also met some people who will likely be life-long friends, including Jayman, who was one of my very first REAL commenters (not a commenter from the Yahoo Group who originally dared me to start up a blog) and Matt-Man, whose friendship with me has been a bit ... shall we say ... rocky at times? Yeah, we'll go with that. 

It's pretty amazing when you think about it. My little corner of the interwebs populated with the stuff that life is made of. Overall? I'd say it's been a good run.

I often wonder what to do with this space - whether I'll continue to blog or just archive this all somewhere and move on. 

Right now? I plan on staying. I probably won't be earning any frequent-flyer miles for posting every day, but I've grown to love this place. As frustrating as life can be, going back and reading a history of what you've done in the last 6 years kind of puts it all in perspective and helps you realize that the big things aren't so big a year later.

Do any of you have a post of mine that you remember well, either because it made you happy, or because it pissed you off?

TMI Tuesday | Why is eating bad food, like having bad sex?

*For the record? I'd rather have bad food than bad sex*

(via TMI Tuesday Blog)

1. Do you like tattoos? Do you have any tattoos?

I have a tattoo addiction, and I really enjoy them on other people as well. For most of us who express ourselves through art on our bodies, there is a story being each one and I love seeing people's stories

Do I have any? Maybe one or two ... and this isn't all of them ... 

  

2. How did you pick your online profile name?

I have a few places I hang out on the internet, and I wasn't smart enough to "brand" myself in the early days, so I have several online profile names

• Amid Life's Crises (here)
• StillTied2TheTracks (tumblr)
• Dana_Lu (twitter)
• Dana_LuLu (some other places)

Anything Dana Lu-ish is based on my first and middle names. Amid Life's Crises was a play on words and appropriate when I started this blog. StillTied2TheTracks (and the original "TiedToTheTracks) are my embracing two old blogger trolls who used to tell be I was a train wreck.

3. What’s one saying you try to live by?

I really don't have one other than "Treat others as you would want them to treat you." 

4. What was the last bad meal you ate? Why was it so awful?

My mom and I go to a local bar once a week. The last time I was there I ordered a burger that tasted "off". I ate about 1/2 of it, brought the leftovers home, and son ate the other half. Withing 12 hours he was puking his guts out. I'm fairly certain it was the burger - fortunately I did not suffer the same fate!

5. When was your last bad sexual encounter? Why was it so awful?

Bad sex is bad ...

Let's see ... the last time I had bad sex was the last time I visited one of the swingers clubs here in Vegas. I made the trip expecting one thing, and when that fell through I settled for something else *NOTE TO SELF* Don't settle when it comes to sex Anyway, let's just say it was EXTREMELY clear that he was out for his pleasure and didn't give a damn about mine.

I'm too old for bad sex.

Bonus: Tell us something random

Did you know that the acronym RSVP comes from the French saying, "répondez s'il vous plaît"? Now you do!

Have You Ever ...

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Wanted to write with abandon?

Wished you could post something deeply personal on your blog?

Had something to share but feared the wrath of the trolls?

Or maybe you have family and friends who read your blog and speaking freely could create unwanted and unnecessary drama.

I'm not usually one who promotes other blogs. It's one of those things that can kind of snowball out of control and, quite frankly, if I think your blog sucks, I'm not going to to send people that direction to waste their time.

That said, occasionally a blog comes along that I think really has a purpose and fills a need. Band Back Together - where I posted Friday - is one of those blogs.

From the about page:

The brainchild of Aunt Becky from Mommy Wants Vodka, who, after delivering her third child, Amelia, who suffered from a neural tube defect at birth, realized (with the help of her amazing Band of Merry Pranksters) a need in the blog world for a place where we could all come to put our secrets down. A group blog that we could share our struggles and our triumphs as we walked through.

Band Back Together was formed.

So we invite you to put on your most comfortable pair of pants (or none at all, as the case may be) grab a drink or three, pull up a chair, make yourself nice and comfortable, and share your stories. Everybody needs a place where they can let it all out. Now you have it.

Don’t be shy now. Introduce yourself. Have a look around. There are all sorts of nooks and crannies for you to explore. Some may be empty now but soon will be brimming with people and stories. You’ll make some friends here; find some new people. Your people.

It’s safe here.

All the comments are moderated, all judgment checked at the door with your soggy wet clothes. Inside it’s warm and dry. We’re not here to judge how you feel or why you feel the way you do. So let it out. Write when you want to, support when you can and remember: you never know who might be helped by your words.

We’re none of us alone. It’s time to Band Back Together.

This was where I chose to share my feelings about hitting the one year mark away from husband because I knew that it would be OK just to be me. I knew that I could say, "You know this has really sucked at times" without someone stopping by and calling me a victim. I knew that other people considering leaving an abusive environment get tired of hearing, "Just leave" when it really isn't always that simple.

I am well aware that this type of writing just isn't what some of you do, but I also know there are quite a few of you out there who could really use this outlet and have valuable life experiences to share with others.

Think about it.

It's a good place!

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Sunday Stealing

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I'm all out of secrets! Seriously ... 18 months ... 4 weeks per month ... that's 72 secrets for goodness sakes. No one should have that many damn secrets!

If I can't tell a secret, then I might as well steal, right? It's Sunday after all. At some point in my internet surfing, I found this blog titled Sunday Stealing. I hoped that some day it would come in handy, and today it did! They write:

Here we will steal all types of memes from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent memes. You may have heard of the expression, “honor amongst thieves”. In that age-old tradition, we also have our rules. First, we always credit the blog that we stole it from and we will “fess up” to the blog owner where we stole the meme. We also provide a link to the victim's post. (It's our way of saying "Thanks!") We do sometimes edit the original meme, usually to make it more relevant to our global players, to challenge our players, sometimes to select that meme's best questions, or simply to make it less repetitive from either this new meme or recently asked questions from a prior featured meme. Let's go!

What the hell! Until I can find something better to do with my Sundays, this will have to do ...

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1. How did you come up with your blog title OR what does it mean?

Ha! Well, having a catchy title was really important to me. In fact, I was far more concerned with thinking up a catchy title than I was with what I was going to write. I've always been a fan of phrases with double meanings and "A mid-life crisis" came to mind. I could change that up a little to "Amid Life's Crises" And so it was born.

I'll always remember how proud I was of my creativity and how that came crashing down when my dear friend Tali said, "You misspelled 'crisis'." The fact that I had to explain I was using the plural form kind of deflated my glorious moment of creative genius!

2. What are your general goals for blogging?

I never really had any, which is quite clear after reading just a few posts. I'd say my "informal" goal is to create respectful discussion by bringing to light some common - and some uncommon - ideas, experiences and opinions to a public forum.

3. Do people “in your real life” know that you blog and do they comment on your blog OR is it largely anonymous?

When I started blogging, there was just one person I "knew" (had met in person) who read my blog. Since that time, I've met - in person - a handful of people who read my blog, but it is still largely an anonymous blog.

4. How often do you post (x per week)? How often do you read other blogs (x per week)?

I try to post 6 days per week. I read other blogs daily. My reader currently has about 75 blogs - many that post daily.

5. How do you select blogs to read (do you prefer blogs that focus on certain topics or do you choose by tone or…?)

I get most of my new blog reads through commentors and from reading other blogs. I really like that new Blogger widget that publishes a list of blogs with their most recent posts? I've found many good reads that way.

I don't really have topic requirements. I read everything from Stuff Christians Like (a wonderful, satirical, Christ following blogger) to The Seduction of Infidelity. The tone - the writing style - those things are far more important to me.

6. Do you have any plans to copy your blog entries in any other format, or do you think that one day, you’ll just delete it all?

I haven't thought much about this. I know that there are services out there that print and bind blogs, but I can't imagine there would be anyone interested in a legacy copy of this blog. Deleting the entire thing seems a bit harsh. Maybe I'd be better off just putting the entire thing in draft mode? Who knows ...

7. What are the things you like best about blogging?

By far, the single thing I like best about blogging is the relationships that develop. I have met some really amazing people that I would have never met had I not been for this silly little writing forum. I learn far more from all of you than I learn about myself through introspection.

8. What are the things you don’t like about blogging?

There are a few. One of them I recently addressed here.

Sometimes I feel an "obligation" to post - and to post worthy content. That is certainly a self-imposed sense of obligation and not something that I think is expected by any of you, but it can be a stressor if I let it.

The other one I find annoying is bloggers that promote their blogs all over the place - that ask me to promote their blog - and then just quit blogging. I'm all for helping out another blogger, but when you ask me to do that, then two months later drop off the face of the earth? You're on my shit list.

9. How do you handle comments?

I answer them, with the exception of HNT's and one particular commentor who is now on DELETE status. I am sometimes amiss in answering comments that happen later in the day - most of my blog time is before dinner time, so often comments left later in the day don't get answered.

10. Do you have any burning thoughts to share on blog etiquette?

I have some pet-peeves about blogs - some things that will keep me from visiting very often. If the blog is VISUALLY difficult to read, I'll stop visiting. For example, blog templates where the background scrolls or colors/patterns that make deciphering words a struggle. Music that plays the moment I open the blog in my browser will keep me away too. I appreciate that you are a music aficionado, but I come to your blog to read, not to listen to your music (unless I'm sitting on the Big Leather Couch)

11. Any desired blog features?

I'd love to have the ability to block trolls, stalkers and spammers blog readers by IP address and or user name. Yes, WordPress allows me to block commentors by those criteria, but I'd like to be able to block access - not just comments. I understand that this can be done if one moves off the Blogger/WordPress platforms, but honestly the whole "having your own domain and finding a host for the blog" (not even sure I'm using the correct terminology) thing is BEYOND me and I think cost prohibitive to have someone do it for me. Maybe if I were blogging for business I'd go that route, but I think it's a bit over the top in my case.

12. Have you suffered blog addiction?

I've suffered internet addiction. I spend a lot of time in the virtual world and I have to work fairly diligently at keeping it in check and balanced with "real life" responsibilities.

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