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I am usually pretty good at stating my opinion on things, and then letting them go. When I don't have an opportunity to discuss something that has upset me, I tend to obsess mull it around in my little head for far too long. I've had one of those issues for about six months now. My guess is that neither of these people even read the blog any longer (it was amazing how many readers I lost when Cam and I finally moved out), but this isn't being done for them. I'm being selfish today. Pardon me while I do a little brain purging.
When I was still with husband, there were two very verbal (via email usually) commenters on my situation (no, not my favorite trolls Snugs and DoggyBloggy). It's fair to say that any negativity I hear hurts my heart, but when someone is completely off base, yet believes they are right - when those same people take those beliefs out publicly, spew them to mutual friends, claiming they *know* things that I am too embarrassed to publish in the blog - when they claim I am abusing my son - that is beyond hurtful. That is simply hateful.
There were many accusations that I was so greedy - so materialistic - that I was choosing money and a big house over the safety and well being of my son. These accusations were so far off I didn't even know how to address them. Even funnier, one of those making the accusations has admitted spending issues that have put her own family in financial peril. The other one routinely plays the single mother, financial sympathy card, then boasts about traveling without her children to meet up with friends.
Now, I am open minded enough to take into consideration that, in both these cases, what I "know" is limited to what each of them has shared publicly. That there might, indeed, be more to the situation than what they've shared. Neither of these people - people I've know through blogging for years - could find it in themselves to give me that same consideration. Instead they spread half truths to mutual friends via Facebook, through email and in person. I cannot think of any possible good for this type of behavior.
I share a great deal on this blog. I regularly bare my soul and expose my shortcomings. I don't post things in an attempt to make myself look good. In fact, it's not unusual for me to post very painful personal flaws. I do this not as an invitation to be beat up, but because we all have those flaws and I believe the only way to make ourselves better people is to face the reality of those flaws.
I live in a world where I've seen, first hand, the the damage and destruction gossip brings. I've heard all of the excuses these types of people make for their actions, none of which make any logical sense. I have spent far too much time and energy wondering what motivated these people to do the things they did and have come to the realization that I will NEVER understand their motivations - and that is a good thing.
Although I've all but eliminated both of these people from my cyber life, occasionally our paths cross. I'll read a comment they've made on a blog we both read, or I'll see another blogger post some glowing recognition of one of them. I want to just SCREAM at the top of my lungs what arrogant, hateful things these people have done to me behind closed doors.
But I don't, and the only reason I don't is because if I do, I become just like them. And that thought is far worse than knowing the things these people have said and done when they thought no one was looking.
I am usually pretty good at stating my opinion on things, and then letting them go. When I don't have an opportunity to discuss something that has upset me, I tend to When I was still with husband, there were two very verbal (via email usually) commenters on my situation (no, not my favorite trolls Snugs and DoggyBloggy). It's fair to say that any negativity I hear hurts my heart, but when someone is completely off base, yet believes they are right - when those same people take those beliefs out publicly, spew them to mutual friends, claiming they *know* things that I am too embarrassed to publish in the blog - when they claim I am abusing my son - that is beyond hurtful. That is simply hateful.
There were many accusations that I was so greedy - so materialistic - that I was choosing money and a big house over the safety and well being of my son. These accusations were so far off I didn't even know how to address them. Even funnier, one of those making the accusations has admitted spending issues that have put her own family in financial peril. The other one routinely plays the single mother, financial sympathy card, then boasts about traveling without her children to meet up with friends.
Now, I am open minded enough to take into consideration that, in both these cases, what I "know" is limited to what each of them has shared publicly. That there might, indeed, be more to the situation than what they've shared. Neither of these people - people I've know through blogging for years - could find it in themselves to give me that same consideration. Instead they spread half truths to mutual friends via Facebook, through email and in person. I cannot think of any possible good for this type of behavior.
I share a great deal on this blog. I regularly bare my soul and expose my shortcomings. I don't post things in an attempt to make myself look good. In fact, it's not unusual for me to post very painful personal flaws. I do this not as an invitation to be beat up, but because we all have those flaws and I believe the only way to make ourselves better people is to face the reality of those flaws.
I live in a world where I've seen, first hand, the the damage and destruction gossip brings. I've heard all of the excuses these types of people make for their actions, none of which make any logical sense. I have spent far too much time and energy wondering what motivated these people to do the things they did and have come to the realization that I will NEVER understand their motivations - and that is a good thing.
Although I've all but eliminated both of these people from my cyber life, occasionally our paths cross. I'll read a comment they've made on a blog we both read, or I'll see another blogger post some glowing recognition of one of them. I want to just SCREAM at the top of my lungs what arrogant, hateful things these people have done to me behind closed doors.
But I don't, and the only reason I don't is because if I do, I become just like them. And that thought is far worse than knowing the things these people have said and done when they thought no one was looking.
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