~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ I have gone back and forth on this post, wondering which way was best to handle it. Do I heed the "Don't feed the trolls" advice? Do I give you directions to the troll (and I could give you much, much more than just an email address)? Do I reprint the troll's emails which include such gems as:
"Maybe among your many other unresolved problems you are also suffering from multiple personalities and maybe it was the bad naughty Dana that mailed nude pictures of herself to at least 2 men that I know of, but I suspect many more."
... or ...
"btw,all those thin mints might just be part of the cause of the re-gained weight..just a thought I've never seen such an obsession with naked and thin mints."
... or how about ...
"Oh my, you want me to substantiate now...okay girlie- let me go print out those pics, where should I post them? What is your school board pres's email?? Should I start there, or no, maybe the pastor or better yet just go to the entire school board..here is your local Miss Harper Valley PTO at your service..add a sleeve of thin mints now would ya!"
Such a quandary ...
Anyone who has ever had a troll knows they are special people. As Andrew Heenen puts it,
"... and I believe that most trolls are sad people, living their lonely lives vicariously through those they see as strong and successful.
Disrupting a stable newsgroup (or blog) gives the illusion of power, just as for a few, stalking a strong person allows them to think they are strong, too.
For trolls, any response is 'recognition'; they are unable to distinguish between irritation and admiration; their ego grows directly in proportion to the response, regardless of the form or content of that response.
Trolls, rather surprisingly, dispute this, claiming that it's a game or joke; this merely confirms the diagnosis; how sad do you have to be to find such mind-numbingly trivial timewasting to be funny?
Remember that trolls are cowards; they'll usually post just enough to get an argument going, then sit back and count the responses (Yes, that's what they do!)."
Yep! That's pretty much it in a nutshell!
There are several recommendations for deterring trolls, and I pretty much did everything I shouldn't have done. The biggest violation? I deleted the troll's comments. Since we know that trolls are all about stirring the pot, a logical person would deduce that taking away the troll's stirring stick is one of the worst things to do. Clearly, I reacted emotionally rather than logically, but GREAT news! I have decided to make amends.
There was an exchange that I deleted in the comments section of my Wednesday Weirdness post. Fortunately, I've been saving my trolls comments via email and was able to recreate - word for word - the exchange.
Dana said ... snugs, back away from the keyboard ... you're getting a bit obsessive ... again ...
March 25, 2009 9:33 PM
snugs said ... when did responding to your dig become obsessive? It is no different that what you do on dozens of blogs each and every day.
March 25, 2009 9:47 PM
Dana said ... snugs, not only are you obsessing, but you're flat out lying.
March 25, 2009 10:01 PM
snugs said ...oh really? just like I am lying about you sending nude pics of yourself to random men you don't even know? Wonder what the PTO would think of that, or the hubby, or even the preacher? Dozens might be an exaggeration, I will give you that, but you have one set of rules for your blog and you in no way adhere to those on others blogs. In fact I think you are the only one I frequent that has any of these rules, its just another form of your control. Your new positive approach is only applied here. Sticking to the days post and what it pertains to is also only applied here. I know sorry snugs I have to delete your comment because it broken my rules-go for it Dana, you have control, you like to call names, I have one for you- hypocrite Oh wait, isn't it almost time for another nude pic to post? Or did you already mail them all out to random strangers again today?
March 25, 2009 10:12 PM
Most of you already know that I have a list of random strangers that I send nude photos to. Not to worry, I've numbered you all as Clients Number 9 through 817. Confidentiality is a priority in these matters.
My troll insists - in true troll fashion - that "policing the blogs is not my deal. I leave that to you and doggy. The adult warning was not my point. Its funny how you mis interpret practically every thing I say."
Well, that's great news! The Adult Warning has been removed, but dear reader's, don't be surprised if it comes back! I think my loving troll will likely retaliate. Although I've done my darnedest to appease the troll, I'm thinking that giving the troll proper acknowledgment and attention in this post will not be enough.
As far as "mis interpreting" what the troll says ... I'll let my readers decide.
I have come to the conclusion that there is one EXTREMELY valid point that I missed in all of this - I cannot claim to be a proponent of free speech, then delete comments on my blog. That is - indeed - hypocritical!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
61 comments:
Screw the trolls!
uummm don't you have to click to see the boobies? don't you have to type in the oh so offensive blog address to even get to it? that kind of trollish bullshit pisses me off. jealousy is an ugly bitch.
personally, i think your pics are artistic. there's absolutely nothing offensive to them.
I added to the trolls fire on a post last week, and looking back feel stupid. I know that is all that a troll wants, recognition. You are a great woman and should NOT have to put up with such non-sense!~C
Karen, do I have to?? I'd prefer to just feed the troll Thin Mints!
jendeaux, I've been trying to use the click-through in that way. Even I have to admit that opening a blog and having a pair staring you in the face can be a bit alarming!
C, it's far easier to get caught up in the emotions of it all than it is to just let it be, isn't it?
Just by doing this post you have given the troll a prodigious feast.
I have a pair of trolls. Folks don't know much about it because I refuse to post the horrible comments and I refuse to engage in any other way. I too have an email folder full of crap--but that's just because I document all.
I hope yours gorges and bursts like the glutton in Meaning of Life--after all it is a 'wafer Thin Mint' ;-)
Well, I'm thinking two things will come of this.
Hopefully it will embarass her enough that she'll go away.
Or it will just keep her going strong.
I'm hoping for the former. I just don't understand the whole troll thing. We had several on Babycenter. What the hell is the point?
Is it just me or is no one following the whole part about rules and commenting on other blogs. What is she talking about??
This is so typical of you privately "respectfully" ask me to back off and then publically to take bits and parts to quote. I hope it's brought you some peace and satisfaction. If I am the troll, does that make you the cry baby bully? Why did you leave out your cyber stalker violations and accusations? And I am still waiting for you to tell me how I "threatened your livelihood and that of your family". Clients 9-817, some of them were grossed out by the pics ya know.
You have the warning, and last time I checked, it's *your* blog and you can do any damn thing you choose with it. Most normal people would just stop commenting if their comments were being removed.
Maybe it's just me, but I think threats to email one's spouse, clergy, or community members qualifies as a threat to one's livelihood, and it certainly would affect your family, as well.
You know that none of us would mind if you started moderating your comments. Let me repeat...it is YOUR blog, and you may choose to delete ugly comments. If someone doesn't like it, tough.
Turn, using words like "prodigious" might confuse the troll.
M, I don't get it either, but then I'm not a troll!
snugs, damn! You've been talking to Client Number 423, haven't you?
Biscuit, I'm sure those threats are just another thing I "mis interpret" Honestly, if I thought moderating comments would help, I would do it, but this is really more of a stalk-ish behavior than it is a true troll - someone who "knows" me from before I started blogging. The more comments the troll leaves - the more emails the troll sends - the better my documentation.
Where does she get off on insisting that you don't delete her comments? Where does she get off on demanding anything at all? And what have you done personally to her that she's so entranced by your site?
I've never understood the troll mentality. Seems like an awful waste of time, which she seems to have plenty of...
I have had experience with trolls - dating back to early 90's before the internet became mainstream with the "regular folks". Just the fact that Snugs here actually (and snidely, if I may add) commented here tells me that she is what I would call "attention whore" with feelings of misplaced self-righteous (threatening to reveal who you are) and poorly conceived idea of indignity (hence her comment in here).
I also noticed that she was oblivious to the humorous nature of your comment "...Clients Number 9 through 817. Confidentiality..." Can I be Client #818? See? I can be equally funny and sadly, she cannot because of the so-called injustice. If she had known HOW FUCKING MANY presidents and chairpersons are guilty of far more heinous acts than you...
Back to the topic - you did fan the flame by posting on here, BUT you also exposed the ugliness of that troll. She has nowhere to hide and will be even more indignant (albeit misplaced) and will try to do more harm. My suggestion is you just ignore her. Since she is an attention whore, she will become what her pussy is right now - all shriveled up and useless. She will find someone else to harrass.
I pity the poor woman.
Why on earth does this person care what sort of pictures you send out? Unless Snug is your husband I don't see why it's any of their concern. What right do they have to threaten you?
Good luck with this one Dana.
Jealousy is the sincerest form of flattery, right behind imitation. That is assuming there is anything sincere about such people.
You know what could be fun? Publish the trolls IP address and see what inspiration strikes your readers!
So far (remarkably) I've been free of trolls and anonymous commenters. I suspect I wouldn't respond as rationally as you...
Have a good weekend!!
Wasn't there someone last year that was giving you grief about nudity?
I had a troll once. I just deleted his posts until he got tired and went away.
Troll comments don't fall under free speech rules...it's ok to throw away junk mail.
Can I please be #818? How does one join? lol
Trolls are bored with too much time on their hands..and you know what idle hands lead too? Def. a girl troll
Wouldn't that be a bummer?
A
Doing what is right isn't always doing what is easy.
Free speech doesn't mean that you have to publish what you don't believe.
I have had a troll or two. Snug what has Dana done that has offended you?
I dig people who give me shit on my blog or through an email. To me, it's kinda fun and funny. But then again, I find crucifixion jokes funny, so there's your point of reference. Cheers!!
I think it is easy to become involved in something that makes emotions arise. Maybe that is why this troll does this, she has no life..no emotion IRL and has to muster some emotion from somewhere. I feel really sorry for 'snugs' she really should get a life, find a real friend, and get off (not get off on) of your blog! IMO
I've had a few trolls, but none of them have been so obviously obsessed with me personally as snuggie wubbie is with you. Clearly this person leads a very sad, empty life.
Maybe in some psychotic way it's a compliment to have a troll. I mean, why pick YOU? Because so many people and admire you, and you have wisdom intelligence, something the troll abviously doesn't have, and maybe dreams of having one day, or is hoping that through you, it (the troll) will become somewhat as popular as you, although not for long and not in the same way.
It's funny how the troll comes here to berate you openly, yet hasn't publicized ITS post!
I've been offline most of the week and have missed most of this, but Dana, I'm sorry you are having to deal with what is one of the harder potnetialities of having a blog and moreover being as candid and reflective as you are. I hope it won't dissuade the way you approach your writing and that all the comments here reinforce how positively you impact others. I know I *heart* you. MUAH!!
PS. I had a problem once with this and got the same advice Prof. Fate gave you, "Free speech doesn't mean that you have to publish what you don't believe."
Stormy took the words out of my mouth.
As you know. I have a troll or two, one in particular that is very malicious and vindictive in her tactics and things she says.
I believe in freedom speech too but as others have pointed out, this is YOUR blog. And while freedom of speech is one thing, being treated as poorly as you are being treated by this troll is another.
I agree with what Prof Fate said regarding the free speech as well.
*hugs*
Good Morning Dana,
Blow the troll off, She'll get bored and crawl back under her rock.
If you accept the previous two requests your up to 820, I'll volunteer for that spot.
I don't understand why someone gets pleasure out of tweaking someone's melon. I enjoy blogging in a friendly manner and it pisses me the fuck off when someone wants to take the joy out of a blog creators experience.
I don't feel the love people!!!! Where is the LOVE????
I don't get it.
Os, actually, snugs exact words were, "Don't comment about me on other peoples blogs and stop deleting my comments on your blog and we will get along just fine, otherwise you are going to have to keep looking over your shoulder cuz you just never know when ole snugs will show up, you never know when or where a picture will show up either." But *I* am a control freak.
NV, I was hoping someone would get the Client Number 9 reference!
Knight, I gave up trying to figure out why snugs cared. I couldn't come to any logical conclusion.
Stormy, then it makes sense - since there is clearly no sincerity.
Hubman, oh! I could do much better than just an IP address.
Hammer, same troll ... back again ... I do like your junk mail reference though!
Anneal, as long as you promise to not come back and tell me how disgusting you find me *wink*
Fate, I do hope snugs answers you, but I think I could safely start the list by saying that my breathing is offensive.
Matt-Man, actually, I took a page from your troll manual on this one and looked at the comical side! It's good to have a sense of humor, no matter how ... ummm ... odd it might be!
Before I had a blog I would comment on Yahoo's (when they had one!) forum.. Never before have I seen so many bitter people screwing up good dialog as that place... Sounds like my last post was timely, at least to you and me!
Personally I think your best bet now is to ignore your troll. You have had your say and obviously she doesn't understand it. By the way, you can add me to your picture list. I haven't commented on them before, but all I have seen so far have been very nicely done.
Hmmmm... you say this troll knows you from before you started blogging, and has continued to harass you throughout that time span? Sounds like stalking to me, and if you have all the documentation I see no reason why you shouldn't seek a no-contact order against this person. Stalking is stalking, and against the law. I don't see you engaging in illegal behavior, but your troll clearly is.
I agree with boo. I'd love to see snugs all shackled up. Of course, she'd probably secretly like it.
Are we up to #821? I'm having trouble keeping up.
Sounds like a horrible case of jealousy to me.
I don't think of myself as naive or easily shocked, but I truly do not get this whole thing that Snuggy's got going. But one thing I think is this. I think she--it has to be a she, right?--loves your boobies. I think she has latent lesbian tendencies and you drive her wild with mad desire and it gets her all bamboozled. She is driven to these extremes out of jealousy, because she knows we all love your boobies, too; she just can't take it. I think the whole problem could be alleviated if you just add her to your mailing list. She can be Client #822, right after Client #821, who would be me because I think your boobies are beautiful, too. I don't think I'm wrong...
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Man, Dana, this one is more than a troll, I think. The no-contact order sounds pretty good to me. You have friends; she doesn't (anyone that consumed with bitterness can't have any friends--not pleasant to be around). You have Thin Mints; she doesn't.
UFF DA! :)
Jay, I think snugs loves to hate me - or hates to love me - one or the other.
Bina, I'll let you borrow snugs if you want! Snugs has made it her mission to gather the Dana-haters ... of which there are a few! I'm OK with people finding me offensive, immoral, disgusting. It creeps me out when they start following me around the blogsphere.
Hope, it has made me more aware of the knuckleheads out there, but I'd like to think that snugs is the exception - that most people play nice.
OH sure...now I know why you gave me #8...because you began with #9!!!!!!
Sheesh... I have had more trolls than I can kill...LOL - They are whiny little critters, but remember, never get them wet and don't feed them after midnight...OH wait those are Mogwai's!
Vixen, when all of this was going down Wednesday night, I immediately thought of you. I know that at least one of your trolls is someone you "know" as well, which brings on a whole new dimension to the problem.
Karl, I'm thinking my client base is just going to grow and grow!
Lu, I have been known to get caught up in my opinion on other blogs, but if I can't reign in my attitude, I leave. I had a blogger once comment on coming to "her" house and peeing on the carpet (not her exact words, but the gist of the comment) and she was right!
Valeera, *giggle*
Lee, sure you do ... because you "know" snugs like I "know" snugs!
Buff, your post had AMAZING timing and I had this one in my head when I read yours. You were a bit of an inspiration!
Howard, I find it much easier to just post them on Thursdays - then everyone can just clear their browser history to maintain anonymity *wink*
Boo, Illinois just enacted a cyberstalking law effective January 1st. Of course, snugs does not believe what she does is stalking, so I'm sure she feels safe behind the "anonymity"
RLL, that's why I maintain the database - all in cryptic code, of course! It's the only way I can maintain my little black book!
kim-d, I agree this troll has turned the corner. Heenen defines a cyberstalker as, "At its mildest, a stalker is simply a troll that has attached itself to an individual. (snip) But a stalker can be a serious predator, using the Internet to pursue a real or imagined vendetta, or other perverted agenda." Sound familiar?
Bond, Dang it! Now snugs has really messed things up! Ummmm could I interest you in ... say ... number 3?? *wink*
If you would leave a pan of soda pop on the back step, you will get rid of your troll.
Like rats, mice and other rodents... trolls cannot burb or fart.. so they will blot up and explode.
True fact.
and,, when you become a professional troll magnet like I am, you will find a total blog dedicated to you, by your pet trolls. I personally love my troll collection, took me 5 years to gather and train them!
They can no longer be contained in my small comment section and have built their own cage that is the blog!
I don't get rid of them because I've heard trolls are the other dark meat, and I'm thinking of roasting one some day. I've been looking for a good recipe.
As you know, I blogged about this as well today.
However, I wrote mine last night for another troll that had been harassing many other folks as well.
Recognition is their goal, then they need to know that any kind of comment made to me in this nature will not only be ignored, but deleted, as it is a waste of electrons in keeping stored in ANY form of media.
Burn the trolls, set fire to their houses, and eradicate their kind from our very society!
Personally I just don't get it. What thrill can anyone get from harassing another person? It is beyond my comprehension....I just have to say that this Snug person must be incredibly pitiful, lonely and hate their own life...it is sad. And it is sad that misery likes to inflict its poison on others.
You could always go private and send invites out although I realize you shouldn't have to be forced into that.....
Thinking of you Dana and hoping and praying for a solution to this nuisance.
There are a number of blogs I read where the content of certain posts doesn't sit well with me. Rather than pissing and moaning about why it/they bother me, I just choose to not comment or otherwise move on. It seems like a pretty simple solution to me.
If what you're doing is so objectionable to this person, I don't understand why she doesn't just find other places to frequent that will suit her style more.
Trolls forget that when the fruits of their envy become too bitter, they can always visit that special website,
www.getalife.com
or, call tRoll-free, 1-800-GET-ALIFE.
Queen, roast troll you say? I think I might have something along those lines in my Betty Crocker cookbook - let me go look!
Jorm, there appears to be a rash of troll sightings lately. I'm wondering if they are coming out of their winter hibernation?
Breve, have you been talking to snugs? That has been her demand ... errr ... ummmm ... suggestion all along. I have some other, less severe options that I am considering.
Wow, I am so glad to have provided everyone the topic to gripe about today and increase your traffic flow for your usually low Friday wrap ups. I guess it is a nice break from the routine and its even brought commenters out that I have not seen on here before. I feel like I should try to answer the haters, if this is out of line for you I am sure you will take care of that in your usual manner. If I wanted attention I would have my own blog. I am not really sure what having my IP address would do, but I am pretty sure that the very cyberstalking laws I was accused of breaking or "crossing the line" have been well crossed here as well. Your readers are not privy to my full emails or the ones from you; you edited only what you wanted to expose in order to garnish sympathy and support. It is your blog and you obviously can do that or whatever you want, delete, go private, etc. I was irritated that you go stir the pot on others, but when it gets stirred on yours you delete or block. I feel that is wrong. Simply my opinion. You said you were just going to love me, then you respectfully ask me to back off which I did, only to have you do this post now. I am just confused now which it is that you really want. I would like to offer my apolgy for the thin mints remark, it was childish and immature of me just retaliating out of anger, I am sorry that I let you get to me and I am sorry for the cruel comment. There was never a possibility that I would send pictures anyplace, I was trying to shock you in to realizing what risks you take when you do stuff like that. I am sorry if you really felt threatened by that, but wonder at the same time what would it matter when you have no boundaries for who you send the pics to, why was that a threat? The answer to the question someone asked that you hoped I would answer is the same answer it has always been Dana. Over the time that I have known you, or known of you- it has been one crises after another. It is my hope that we, your readers, get to hear or see some day that you won your fight. That you learned to let go of all the baggage and learned to love yourself, and when that happens you will be able to face all the other problems. What I want is simply to hear the happy ending. Is this being a troll? stalking? If that is what you want to label it that is your deal. But if you were really honest you would admit that isn't the case. Is it any of my business? If you were not posting all the drama in a sort of public place I would say no, but since you choose to blog about it I think it opens you up to the public. As for your public warning, I don't know why that is being put on me, my interpretation of the cyberstalking laws that you sent me were not about your blog needing the adult content warning. I was referring to the violations I previously sent to you. I really did not want to post this here, but would rather everyone see the full email over the edited versions.
Jeff, as I mentioned earlier, I have caught myself in the "pissing" mode on a blog on occasion, but try to gather myself and walk away.
Volly, I'm liking queen's suggestion of a troll roast!
wouldnt it be like me to pipe in right about now....bygones are bygones and thats worthy of a stamp.
Looks like someone's trying to close the barn door after the horses have all gotten out. (not you, db)
Staggering.
I guess a more susceptible soul might read this and get the impression something terrible, and important, or even terribly important, was occurring.
If cyberspace can be considered a large sink/basin, then this cycle of online argument can definitely be considered circling the drain.
All of this has happened before and will happen again. The same retread of a pointless endeavour.
snugs, it's only "right" that I let you have your say. Consider that done.
DB, I appreciate your integrity on this one!
Os, but not before stirring up the horse shit *shakes head*
Leonhart, agreed! I am not special here. This has happened - and continues to happen - on message boards, email lists and blogs at quite a disturbing pace. If/when my troll leaves, it is likely that another will be waiting in the wings to take over. But dang, they are annoying!
BOND has trolls??!!? Seriously how is it that I have no trolls. I am bummed.
Dana, honey, they are your boobs, your pictures, and your blog and if the trolls have issues with them, fuck em. They can choose not to participate in activities that offend them. Most trolls are attention whores. Ignore them, delete their comments and forward any threatening emails to their ISP.
Wow, I am in and out of the hospital for a few months and it seems like I've missed a whole bunch of stuff here. I have a lot of catching up to do!
It's your blog Dana, and you can do what you want hon. Never forget that and there are always going to be people that want to get a rise out of you. xoxo
Wow....someone that dislikes you and/or your blogs more then I do! Go snugs!
I guess I am just terribly naive....why does someone come back to read your blogs or anyone else's if they don't like what you write or like you???? What the fuck is their problem??? Gee God, I hardly have the time to keep up with the blogs I do like....I don't have the time, energy or inclination to read the ones I don't like....but evidently some people do. These must be the same idiots that can't find the "off" button on their TVs so they cry about the programs they find offensive.
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