24 March 2009

I Think I'm Going to Commit Twittercide

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Although not a complete technogeek, I've usually at least heard about what's new and exciting on the World Wide Web (or is that the internets?). Of course, it helps to have a 13-year old son who often says things like, "You know what YouTube is?" or, "You have a Facebook?" Ummm yes! I'm old, not dead. Once in a while he actually introduces me to something new, but Twitter was not his fault.

When Twitter got uber-popular (actually, before *curses Jay under breath*) I set up a Twitter account. Soon I had people following me, and the pressure began to mount. I realized they were all on pins and needles, waiting for something enlightening to escape my fingertips. I had nothing to offer other than embarrassing or, worse yet, boring moments. Sure, I could make up interesting tweets, but they wouldn't be true. Is that a problem?

Dearest Twitterphiles, please help me discover the magic that is tweeting. Just give me a little insight as to why I cannot just use instant messaging, texting, or *gasp* the phone. I cannot believe that all of you Twutz's really want to hear - real time - that I am frantic over the price of fresh blueberries this week, or that I walked into the men's restroom at the bar (well, maybe you do want to hear that one). Worse yet, you want me to tell you in 140 characters or less? Like I can tell you anything in 140 characters or less ...

And just what is this fascination with following the famous ... and having them want to reciprocate? I'll admit, I follow Barack Obama, but I find it just a bit creepy that he wants to follow me. Seriously, does the President not have any Twuples? I know that he cannot possibly have a desire to know that I am cursing praising his policies or badmouthing embracing his rhetoric ... or does he? And who is it that reads all of those tweets for him?? Hmmmm ....

Here's my greatest worry. Just what were all of you tweeple doing before you started spending all of your time on Twitter? Like most grown ups, I already have far too many responsibilities and not enough time—work, husband, kids, PTO, church and so on and so on. I'm usually up at 4AM putting the finishing touches on my blog posts. I can't seem to return an email in less than 24 hours, and I'm supposed to find the time to tweet?

"They" call it microblogging - I saw a much better definition for it - A service that enables millions of people with nothing to say, to say it to millions of people. If someone - anyone - can provide a compelling reason as to why I should tweet, you might be able to talk me down from jumping off the edge of the Twitterverse.

Oh, and inventing all of these new words with a "tw" prefix? Yeah ... it's annoying ...

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30 comments:

Another Suburban Mom said...

I'm sorry, but I can't get into Twitter. Does anyone really want to know what I am doing all day.

9:45 Contemplating the chocolate in the basket in the office next store.

9:47 Still thinking about the chocolate. Must resist the chocolate.

10:22 Went to office, ate chocolate, had to listen to Jane talk about her ferrets and show me pictures of them in their Battlestar Galactia outfits. Must buy my own chocolate.

Would anyone want to read that?

we're doomed said...

I have not Twittered. I don't quite get it. I surmise it might just be a nervous bad habit like picking your nose or forgetting to wash your hands after using the restroom. Perhaps I'm missing something as it pertains to Twittering. But that is ok with me.

Volly said...

Dana,

I completely agree. I've got 2 followers, both folks from my church. I joined originally after hearing about that guy in Egypt who twittered "Arrested" and got rescued by friends ... but other than that, it's proved to be a waste. I may cancel altogether if some real benefit doesn't materialize. Some people have a lot to say and many to say it to, but not me.

/v

Dana said...

ASM, that's what I keep thinking ... no one could possibly be interested in what I'm doing for 99.99872% of my day!

Doomed, interesting. I'd have thought you might Twitter.

Volly, I don't have many followers either and have to wonder if there isn't a serious case of follower envy going on here!

Hubman said...

I tried Twitter for a short while after another blogger invited me to join. I think I updated my status (Tweeted? fuck, I don't know...) twice in a month, then deleted my account.

It seems incredibility narcissistic to think that people would want to know the little things I'm doing the day.

"Just got done wasting some time at work commenting on blogs"

I mean, isn't that obvious? *wink*

Real Live Lesbian said...

LMAO @ Hubman.

I just joined yesterday (for a completely goofy reason) and am completely clueless. I didn't even know there was a Twitterverse.

Karen said...

I like it. It gives you the ability to put out a one or two sentence "blog post". I follow friends, bloggers, news, weather and some famous folk.

As for the famous - There is something entertaining to know that Paul Rudd is pissed off that Starbucks charges $4.75 for a cup of coffee.

M said...

Yeah, I haven't gotten into Twitter either. At some point I'm sure I'll get sucked in just like Twilight, but as of now, I have no interest.

Liz Hill said...

I have a Twitter account. If you go there you'll see that I have twittered only 8 or 9 times--ever.

I just don't see it as necessary. I'd rather text directly to people who care about getting a message from me.

M said...

The only way I've seen Twitter work for people is when they are connected to people with a common interest and use Twitter to have a good, real-time ongoing dialog.

For example, a former coworker of mine is a software developer, and he twitters to his geek friends links to sites he has found, info about the latest software releases, etc. While you could do the same things in blogs and boards, it risks not being short and too the point - and you have to sift through the garbage to get to the good stuff.

Just like any other technology, it has a place in the world - it just might not have a place in your world. (Personally, it doesn't fit into my world very well either.)

Osbasso said...

Twat?? You don't like Twitter? It's bad enough that one has their own Twitter page, but then to also add it to one's blog sidebar?? Does that make it Twogging? (though I'll admit that there's just one particular blogger whose Twitter page I check regularly...)

And Twitpics...they seem awfully familiar, as I've seen them on their blogs, as well! Seems like an awful lot of Twork!

Vixen said...

Sorry. No Twittering for me. I don't know where I would even find the extra time. And the last thing I need is one more thing to eat up my time, lol.

Good luck! ;)

none said...

People keep inviting me to twatter but I'm not too much into social networking and such.

Anonymous said...

Amen sista! What happened to the telephone? Heck everyone's wearing them! Why not actually use it? There is no way Obama is twittering himself. We're paying for someone to do that. But at least he probably isn't complaining about his coffee.

Ms. Inconspicuous said...

I'm not only off the twoat (twitter boat), but I never got on in the first place...and I'm adamantly opposed.

Of course, I was adamantly opposed to cellphones, too, and they aren't going anywhere. So it feels like a loosing twattle.

Richard said...

It will make you feel as free as a birdy. Just think how nice it would be to tweet tweet tweet all day, and forget about reality.

Jay said...

Twitter is a lot of fun. It's a great way to meet new people and stay connected. And it's a great place bring all of your online connections to one place.

I have lots of blog friends, blog talk radio friends, some people I've "met" in internet forums and other places around the cyber world.

It works better than blogs because you can have discussions in real time with multiple people. Like, just last week we had an interesting discussion about which Sesame Street character or Muppet would be most likely to be a crack addict. Some people say Oscar, since he lives in a garbage can. That makes sense. I said Animal, because we all know that drummers are always druggies.

So, there's some deep stuff happening on Twitter. ;-)

Seriously though, it's all about finding new places and ways to connect to people. Mostly people I've never even met, and may NEVER meet.

Jormengrund said...

I don't twitter.

I figure that I'll write a post about what I've been doing, and you can infer from my work history that's been going on EXACTLY what kind of crap I'm dealing with at any given moment.

Sure, there are times when I'm able to get something done on schedule... But more often than not, I'm playing house-sitter or taking care of something that my six-year-old knows how to fix!

Twitter's for those who really don't have much else to do besides play on their cell phones..

katherine. said...

I don't Twitter...yet.
I suspect I will...soon.

I am guessing most of those commenting are in the same age demographic as you and I.

I think Twitter is the next step in a wave of connecting. We started off...with email...then Instant Messaging. Blogging. MySpace. FaceBook. You can make a video...load it up...launch it to the world. Blogging.

We are hooked.
And its all for free.

I am hands down sure that privacy will become an actual commodity in our life time.

Instead of paying to connect and communicate...we will have to pay to stay off the grid. We will be willing to "subscribe" to keep ourselves to ourselves.

I'm a full on participant. But I am feeling the slippery slope slip away beneath me.

Curmudgeon over at Second Effort speaks to the Twitter gig...he links to Ken Levine's post about Twitter which is hilarious.

Second Effort

Biscuit said...

I don't Twitter. I don't get it. And it TOTALLY chaps my ass that the doofus who runs Facebook just turned it into Twacebook.

Unknown said...

I LOVE this! I could never understand twitter either. I mean, I know what it's about, but I don't know WHY!!! Is it for people who are bored? Is it sort of voyeuristic? I just don't get it.

But I love the definition you found! It's great.

Anonymous said...

I kept up with my twitter account for a while, and occasionally I go and update my status. But I really never got hardcore. I did add it to my sidebar on my blog, but I should take it off since I never update.

I do prefer Twacebook, LOL @ Biscuit, I have lots of peeps over there.

Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

I love twitting....

I am not sure why but I love it :)

Brandi said...

ASM, I would totally read that and it would make me laugh on bad days. :-)

Wow, Dana, this inspired a lot of comments. I don't have anything to contribute that anyone else hasn't already said.

But what I don't understand are the people who say they don't get Twitter or think it's dumb when they're the ones updating their Facebook status a million times a day. It's the same thing!

Dana said...

Hubman, I've decided to give it my all for a few days and see if maybe I just haven't been fair to the social network opportunity.

RLL, and this post is ALL.YOUR.FAULT!

Karen, but the real question is, Is Paul Rudd really pissed off that Starbucks charges $4.75 for a cup of coffee? Or does it just make good twitter-fodder?

Dana said...

M, Twilight is just so last year, you've got months before you succumb to Twitter.

Turn, well, until last summer I wasn't even texting!

Emmy, are you sure it has a place in this world? Or has the recent media attention made everyone think it does? Some people think Blackberries have a place here too *wink*

Dana said...

Os, you can add it to the blog sidebar?? *rolls eyes*

Vixen, I've been tweeting regularly today and have vowed to test it for a few more. We'll see ...

Hammer, I'm not much into social anything!

Jinxo56 said...

I don't twitter. I am one of the last people in this country who has never even used a cell phone. I am sure I would simply bore people if I ever did.

captain corky said...

One of my wife's old boyfriends signed up to follow her on Twitter. LOL

Anonymous said...

And as I started reading this a twitter message arrived....."just bought some new shoes, WOOT!"

I am doing away with twitter; I really don't care what people are eating at lunch, that there co worker smells, or they have to go to the bathroom....