I'm all a-Twitter

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It was just over a week ago that I was denouncing that social Mecca known as Twitter. I praised those commentors who used words like narcissistic and self-absorbed, and mocked Jay and Karen for their participation in such a silly thing, calling them Twitterphiles and Twutzs. Then, I challenged myself to a week of Twitter – without reserve – without judgment. That, my dear readers, was the beginning of the end.

Sure, I was skeptical. I imagined (because I had nothing but my imagination to rely on) that Twitter was nothing more than self-touting, self-centered bits of nonsense scattered randomly throughout the day. I wondered how two seemingly normal readers (Jay and Karen – I’m not so sure about the rest of you) could possibly get caught up in such foolishness. I mean, I read their blogs and see none of the classic narcissistic traits. What could they possibly see in Twitter?

I logged on and started my quest for enlightenment. I un-followed anyone I didn’t know (I had reciprocated following anyone who followed me – BIG mistake) and typed with baited apprehension. With only a handful of tweets under my belt, I was unfamiliar with twetiquette (and you all know how I am about good manners). I had to ask Jay what RT and # were – he pointed me to a Twitter wiki *gasp* I used the word cleavage and wondered if I’d earn an adult content label. There was definitely a learning curve.

About three days into the twexperiment, I discovered I was having fun! This wasn’t people talking about themselves, but more like some sort of hybrid IM thing. I could talk to people without having to be there real time. I could get motivational quotes, local news updates and crafting ideas in one place. I could let RLL know that Pioneer Woman was having a KitchenAid Mixer giveaway. I could let Karen know that thoughts and prayers were with her when she was on her way to surgery. Yes … in just seven days I was obsessed hooked.

I am beyond shamed. Not only have I discovered that Twitter – like so many other things in life – is all about what you do with what you are given, but I now must admit – publicly - that I was wr … wr … wro … WRONG! OK! There! I said it! I was W-R-O-N-G … WRONG!

Is it possible that there are tons of narcissistic people out there talking about themselves in 140 characters or less? I’d say it’s not only possible, but highly likely. But you know what? I don’t have to follow those people. I am quite happy with the 35 twits tweets that I am following, and I feel just a bit more intimate with every one of them than I did when they were “just” bloggers.

One thing though … don’t let me write a post badmouthing FaceBook, OK? I really don’t feel like eating my words … again!

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I Think I'm Going to Commit Twittercide

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Although not a complete technogeek, I've usually at least heard about what's new and exciting on the World Wide Web (or is that the internets?). Of course, it helps to have a 13-year old son who often says things like, "You know what YouTube is?" or, "You have a Facebook?" Ummm yes! I'm old, not dead. Once in a while he actually introduces me to something new, but Twitter was not his fault.

When Twitter got uber-popular (actually, before *curses Jay under breath*) I set up a Twitter account. Soon I had people following me, and the pressure began to mount. I realized they were all on pins and needles, waiting for something enlightening to escape my fingertips. I had nothing to offer other than embarrassing or, worse yet, boring moments. Sure, I could make up interesting tweets, but they wouldn't be true. Is that a problem?

Dearest Twitterphiles, please help me discover the magic that is tweeting. Just give me a little insight as to why I cannot just use instant messaging, texting, or *gasp* the phone. I cannot believe that all of you Twutz's really want to hear - real time - that I am frantic over the price of fresh blueberries this week, or that I walked into the men's restroom at the bar (well, maybe you do want to hear that one). Worse yet, you want me to tell you in 140 characters or less? Like I can tell you anything in 140 characters or less ...

And just what is this fascination with following the famous ... and having them want to reciprocate? I'll admit, I follow Barack Obama, but I find it just a bit creepy that he wants to follow me. Seriously, does the President not have any Twuples? I know that he cannot possibly have a desire to know that I am cursing praising his policies or badmouthing embracing his rhetoric ... or does he? And who is it that reads all of those tweets for him?? Hmmmm ....

Here's my greatest worry. Just what were all of you tweeple doing before you started spending all of your time on Twitter? Like most grown ups, I already have far too many responsibilities and not enough time—work, husband, kids, PTO, church and so on and so on. I'm usually up at 4AM putting the finishing touches on my blog posts. I can't seem to return an email in less than 24 hours, and I'm supposed to find the time to tweet?

"They" call it microblogging - I saw a much better definition for it - A service that enables millions of people with nothing to say, to say it to millions of people. If someone - anyone - can provide a compelling reason as to why I should tweet, you might be able to talk me down from jumping off the edge of the Twitterverse.

Oh, and inventing all of these new words with a "tw" prefix? Yeah ... it's annoying ...

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