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1. Have you ever had angry sex?
Angry sex scares the hell out of me! I'm not one to lose my temper easily, but when I do, I really lose it. I'm afraid that angry sex might encourage me to cause permanent harm to parts of my partner’s body that they would prefer to keep in proper working order. I'll pass!
2. Pity sex?
I guess it depends on how you define pity sex. If we are in the "He/she couldn't get it anywhere else so I'll give it to him/her," then no - I'm not that much of a giver (or egomaniac), but if we are talking about the "poor, poor, pitiful me - no one loves me" sex? Ummm ... yeah ... I've certainly been in a position where I looked to sex to fill a longing to be loved - its effectiveness was minimal and misinterpreted.
3. “Oh well, I might as well” sex?
Far too many times to count, especially if we add in the "obligatory" sex.
4. One-of-you-knew-it-was-goodbye-and-the-other-didn’t sex?
I've not been on the giving end of this, but have certainly been on the receiving end of it.
5. Don’t-remember-having-it sex?
I have one word for you ... Tequila. It's the only alcohol that I can drink and NEVER pass out. Black out? Absolutely! Pass out? Never. Waking up with unexplained bruises on one's forehead, and no recollection of how they got there (this was 20 years ago), makes one reevaluate their tequila intake.
6. Regret-it-afterward sex?
Once ... and tequila was involved ... again. Let's just say it is never a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend’s best friend - especially when he is in the room right next to you and there is no lock on the door.
7. Can’t-remember-his/her-name sex?
I am surprised at the number of people who can say they remember the name of every person they ever slept with. I am not one of those people.
8. Never-knew-his/her-name sex?
Can I just put a scarlet "S" on my forehead now? Look, my past is pretty damn shady. I looked to sex to fill many an emotional void, and I left no stone (or is that wood) unturned. Honestly, I'm damn lucky I'm not dead - risky behavior doesn't even come close to describing some of what I've done.
There were many times when I didn't *want* to know his name because just knowing that little bit of information brought on a bucket load of unrealistic expectations. Better to go the anonymous route to keep disappointment to a minimum. They never stayed long anyway.
Bonus: What was the worst single sexual experience of your life?
Before there was a name for it - or even any concern about it - I was a victim of date rape. I was 20 and had been dating the guy for a few weeks. In one of my more stupid moves, I agreed to go to his apartment after dinner - in his car - leaving mine at the restaurant about 5 miles away. My acceptance of his invitation was interpreted as we would have sex that night. When I said stop, he didn't.
When he was done, he sent me on my way. I walked the 5 miles back to my car at 3AM, drove to my apartment, took a long, hot shower, went to bed, and never told a soul ... until now. I couldn't tell anyone. It was *my* fault. What kind of girl goes home with someone they've only been dating for a few weeks unless she wants sex?
Vanna, I'll take another scarlet "S" please ...
Angry sex scares the hell out of me! I'm not one to lose my temper easily, but when I do, I really lose it. I'm afraid that angry sex might encourage me to cause permanent harm to parts of my partner’s body that they would prefer to keep in proper working order. I'll pass!
2. Pity sex?
I guess it depends on how you define pity sex. If we are in the "He/she couldn't get it anywhere else so I'll give it to him/her," then no - I'm not that much of a giver (or egomaniac), but if we are talking about the "poor, poor, pitiful me - no one loves me" sex? Ummm ... yeah ... I've certainly been in a position where I looked to sex to fill a longing to be loved - its effectiveness was minimal and misinterpreted.
3. “Oh well, I might as well” sex?
Far too many times to count, especially if we add in the "obligatory" sex.
4. One-of-you-knew-it-was-goodbye-and-the-other-didn’t sex?
I've not been on the giving end of this, but have certainly been on the receiving end of it.
5. Don’t-remember-having-it sex?
I have one word for you ... Tequila. It's the only alcohol that I can drink and NEVER pass out. Black out? Absolutely! Pass out? Never. Waking up with unexplained bruises on one's forehead, and no recollection of how they got there (this was 20 years ago), makes one reevaluate their tequila intake.
6. Regret-it-afterward sex?
Once ... and tequila was involved ... again. Let's just say it is never a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend’s best friend - especially when he is in the room right next to you and there is no lock on the door.
7. Can’t-remember-his/her-name sex?
I am surprised at the number of people who can say they remember the name of every person they ever slept with. I am not one of those people.
8. Never-knew-his/her-name sex?
Can I just put a scarlet "S" on my forehead now? Look, my past is pretty damn shady. I looked to sex to fill many an emotional void, and I left no stone (or is that wood) unturned. Honestly, I'm damn lucky I'm not dead - risky behavior doesn't even come close to describing some of what I've done.
There were many times when I didn't *want* to know his name because just knowing that little bit of information brought on a bucket load of unrealistic expectations. Better to go the anonymous route to keep disappointment to a minimum. They never stayed long anyway.
Bonus: What was the worst single sexual experience of your life?
Before there was a name for it - or even any concern about it - I was a victim of date rape. I was 20 and had been dating the guy for a few weeks. In one of my more stupid moves, I agreed to go to his apartment after dinner - in his car - leaving mine at the restaurant about 5 miles away. My acceptance of his invitation was interpreted as we would have sex that night. When I said stop, he didn't.
When he was done, he sent me on my way. I walked the 5 miles back to my car at 3AM, drove to my apartment, took a long, hot shower, went to bed, and never told a soul ... until now. I couldn't tell anyone. It was *my* fault. What kind of girl goes home with someone they've only been dating for a few weeks unless she wants sex?
Vanna, I'll take another scarlet "S" please ...
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20 comments:
Everyone has a past, and a future. What we have done in the past or what happened to us in the past help to define who we are today, and the important thing is that we like who we are now, not how we got here! Have a Great week!
Good TMI....
I am usually a lurker here but you have compelled me to post...particularly on your bonus question.
I don't want to open up a can of worms...I know I am not you...and I know I did not experience what you experienced. However, I have been taught and I appreciate why, when a woman says "No" in regards to sex...it means "No!"
You may not have made the wisest move by going to his apartment, but you did say "No"...and that, in my opinion, should have been respected. If he really cared, he would have respected that and he would have probably benefited from a good long relationship with you...I see it being his fault...and his loss.
I can remember the name of every woman I have had sex with. That doesn't mean that I'd rather not forget or that they remember mine. Cheers!!
Ya know, even though you're a Republican, you're still pretty cool ;-)
I loved these answers, seriously, you're one complicated and also easy to understand lady, that's a good thing in MY book!
Forgive me for being crapalicious at catching up, I think I got pig disease or something. I played TMI though so you're welcome to drop by :-)
EVERY one? Oh hell no. There's at least one girl and one guy, (he was about 30 and I was 15...so let's call him a pedofile now that I'm older) that I can't remember their names. Oh, maybe it was Jim? Ahh...nevermind.
Now I'm wondering how my mother thought it was okay for me to date a 24 year old....
which led me to believe I could date any older men!
Is there another Scarlet Letter out there for *me*?
I think I've had ALL those kinds of sex. And Tequila? I'm the same way! But I do throw up, even though I don't pass out. I can't even smell that stuff anymore without wanting to pass out. YUK!
My worst sexual experience was my first. He was "vienna sausage, short-dick man" and it was such a waste of time!
Being on the receiving end of numbers 2 and 3 are really my best shots at actually having sex. ;-)
I haven't ever had any don't remember it sex, but have had regret it sex a few times.
And there has been once when I didn't know her REAL name sex.
The bonus question? I don't believe in the "it was her fault" or "she brought it on herself" statements. Rape is rape.
Granny Nanny, I agree with your thought process but DAMN it looks bad when it's put in writing!
flyinfox-satx, lurker! I don't think my tongue-in-cheek "humor" came through on that. Let's just say that in the early 80's I think this type of thing was tolerated a bit more. I'd have been laughed at had I used the "R" word.
Matt-Man, well, some of us have fewer names to remember, and you still live with Schmoop *giggle*
Aside from the date rape (which is wrong, wrong, wrong - even back then), you and I are surprisingly a lot alike (including being Republicans - how come people think we're all sticks in the mud?):-)
Sam, actually, Libertarian is more my style, but unfortunately not a viable party here in the US! I saw you lurking in my reader - I'll get over there sometime tonight! And are you calling me simple??
Real Live Lesbian, you may have the scarlet "L", although with this man confession I'll have to give you the tarnished version.
Bina, I can still drink the tequila down, but I choose to do so only in VERY safe environments!
Jay, didn't know her real name sex? Now that sounds like a story!
Evil Twin's Wife, I think people believe we take that "conservative" politics into the bedroom with us. Ha!
That's true enough 'bout Schmoop, but I ain't married. Cheers!!
Dear Evil Twin and Dana: I don't think either one of you are sticks in the mud, and love that you have honest feelings and healthy libidos. As I've said many times to liberal friends, you can disagree with Sarah Palin on abortion, but I bet she and Todd rock the igloo quite often....
Damn that Tequila! Drinking Tequila is an experience of it's own. *shaking head*
Oh, and I agree with everyone else--No means No. Then and Now. You have nothing to feel ashamed about.
OK, there are more that I can not remember (did I ever know) then those I can remember...does that make me a bad person?
Meh. It's not THAT bad Dana..
I know a couple of folks personally who can take your "Scarlet Letter" torch and turn it into a nice bonfire, really. (myself included)
The things that we endure and survive make us who we are. I know that your encounter wasn't one that you'd like to relive, but with that experience comes wisdom and a "sixth sense" about situations that most folks won't or don't have.
Maybe you'd be a completely different kind of person if not for that, and maybe you'd only be a bit changed.. Who can say?
But do you honestly think that how you turned out is a bad thing?
I can't.
Ronald10021, good to see a man who knows his Republicans!
Vixen, Jose Cuervo, you are a friend of mine ... NOT!
Bond, whew! It's good to know I'm not the only one who lived my sexual life to its fullest! And that makes you a WONDERFUL person!
Jormengrund, well ... you know how it goes ... people CANNOT change! Since I was that way 20 years ago, I must still be that way, right??
Is my past a bad thing? Well, it has shaped me into who I am today, but there are a few folks out there that would tell you that is the problem!
Simple? Nope, but complicated enough that you make perfect sense to a chick with possible borderline & confirmed ADD--yeah, you're far from simple :-D
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