~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
We've managed to raise a generation of kids with significant entitlement issues. Kids (and adults) who think television, gaming systems and cell phones are constitutional rights. This shouldn't come as a surprise to any of us. We've morphed into a society where anonymity is as simple as setting up a bogus MySpace page, where making a fool of yourself gains instant celebrity status on YouTube and American Idol, and where spanking a child in public can elicit numerous phone calls to Child Protective Services. Yet there is one form of punishment that creative parents are exploring again - public humiliation.
If you read my recent Sunday Secret regarding internet usage in a public venue, you know that I experienced a bit of that type of discipline myself recently. Embarrassment is an amazing motivator. This kid here? According to the Arizona Reporter, young Jerry had several problems with lying, stealing and fighting at school. His parents have him seeing a counselor privately, and at school, and he has participated in an intensive behavior modification program through the local hospital. Unfortunately, they were not seeing results, so when young Jerry found himself in a pickle at school again - with stolen property - his parents decided to approach things a bit differently.
Just this past December, Dennis Baltimore, Jr., 16, walked the streets of Long Beach and Signal Hill for five hours wearing a sign that read: "I have wasted your tax money with dumb acts of vandalism in the public schools."
Seems Jr.'s father (Sr.)received a phone call from his son's school telling him about Jr.'s artistic abilities - the ones he spray painted on school property. The damages would cost Sr. $875. In addition to Jr. being suspended for four days, and ordered by the school to spend several days of his holiday vacation doing community service on campus, Sr. thought a little public shame would be in order.
And just this week? Trenton O'Neal found himself standing on a very public road in Chesapeake, Virginia, a large sign touting his bad grades dangling from his neck. Trenton's response? "It sucks. I don't want to be out here again. I know that much."
Apparently Trenton hadn't been showing much effort in his freshman year of high school. He suffered from the do-your-homework-and-never-turn-it-in bug (some of you know that ailment well). His parents decided yelling, screaming and grounding weren't working, but maybe a healthy dose of public humiliation might.
There are those who stand firm in the fragile egos of children camp - the ones who would dial 9-1-1 and report this "abuse." My guess is, they are the ones raising those entitled kids - the kids who will be living in mom and dad's basement when they are 32, spending their waking hours going up a level (*EDIT* leveling up - thank you Turnbaby) in World of Warcraft.
If you read my recent Sunday Secret regarding internet usage in a public venue, you know that I experienced a bit of that type of discipline myself recently. Embarrassment is an amazing motivator. This kid here? According to the Arizona Reporter, young Jerry had several problems with lying, stealing and fighting at school. His parents have him seeing a counselor privately, and at school, and he has participated in an intensive behavior modification program through the local hospital. Unfortunately, they were not seeing results, so when young Jerry found himself in a pickle at school again - with stolen property - his parents decided to approach things a bit differently.
Just this past December, Dennis Baltimore, Jr., 16, walked the streets of Long Beach and Signal Hill for five hours wearing a sign that read: "I have wasted your tax money with dumb acts of vandalism in the public schools."Seems Jr.'s father (Sr.)received a phone call from his son's school telling him about Jr.'s artistic abilities - the ones he spray painted on school property. The damages would cost Sr. $875. In addition to Jr. being suspended for four days, and ordered by the school to spend several days of his holiday vacation doing community service on campus, Sr. thought a little public shame would be in order.
And just this week? Trenton O'Neal found himself standing on a very public road in Chesapeake, Virginia, a large sign touting his bad grades dangling from his neck. Trenton's response? "It sucks. I don't want to be out here again. I know that much."Apparently Trenton hadn't been showing much effort in his freshman year of high school. He suffered from the do-your-homework-and-never-turn-it-in bug (some of you know that ailment well). His parents decided yelling, screaming and grounding weren't working, but maybe a healthy dose of public humiliation might.
There are those who stand firm in the fragile egos of children camp - the ones who would dial 9-1-1 and report this "abuse." My guess is, they are the ones raising those entitled kids - the kids who will be living in mom and dad's basement when they are 32, spending their waking hours going up a level (*EDIT* leveling up - thank you Turnbaby) in World of Warcraft.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
28 comments:
I have no problem with this.
I deal every day with the fall out of parents who think they can 'child proof' the world so that little JOhnny or Jane will never suffer any bump in the road.
And it is leveling up (my Blood Elf Rogue is level 33) *grin*
Sometimes you just have to try to get creative with kids and find what might actually work. I know a woman who's daughter suffered from the same not turning in homework problem. Nothing worked on her. Not even having to go to summer school and miss out on cool trips or vacations.
Then she started dating this dude. He told her he wasn't wasting his time on some dumb, uneducated drop out or flunky. Suddenly she's doing much better in school.
But, others aren't so lucky and have to find other ways to motivate. Screaming, yelling and threatening usually doesn't work. Especially if these kids have been listening to all those hallow threats since they were little.
When I was in high school kids, well boys, who were constantly in trouble got sent on a field trip to the state prison. Then my dad, who was a lawyer, would show them pictures of some of his clients who were raped or beaten in prison. A little shock therapy. All approved by the kid's parents, of course. It worked a majority of the time. The school stopped doing it though cause they thought it would give the school bad publicity.
Those parents should get an award.
Well not really because they are doing what all parents should do.
excellent post.
Don't think my kids won't be right out there with em if they can't behave themselves.
I have no problem with creative behavior modification.
Oh, I got in trouble one time for making my JV volleyball team run stairs during the varsity game in front of everyone because they we screwing around during the national anthem.
Guess what? They never did it again and were perfect angels from then on out.
Hmm...
I don't have a problem with this approach. Good for the parents.
But, I wonder if the parents could have been doing a better job all along and prevented the need to go this route in the first place. You know, nip the problem in the bud before it gets too bad?
I dunno...
Of course, I don't have kids...so I usually don't even comment about these things.
I think doing whatever you have to do to get your child the best start in life is critical. If it means embarrassing the shit out of 'em in front of the world, so be it. If it works and doesn't get the authorities called...go for it.
When did we start grading kids with an "E"?? There's now one more step before getting an "F"????
A question arises about whether this is punishment or a motivational tool. While I'm all in favor of public humiliation, one can't dole it out without expectations after the fact. Will the humiliation actually have enough of an effect to alter the individual's behavior? Hopefully, with the first two instances here, one would think so. They have behaviors that obviously can be changed. They are soley responsible for their actions. I'm not so convinced about the third one, because a third party is involved (his teachers).
Kudos to M for making her girls run during the match!
"It sucks. I don't want to be out here again."
I think that says all that needs to be said. A little humiliation is not going to hurt a child, but thinking that it's okay to get bad grades...to not be accountable for one's actions? That will.
I don't have a problem with this or putting convicts in black and white stripes....humiliation is always a good motivator....oops! what am I saying; I am a teacher....no, humiliation is bad, bad, bad, bad! It might damage their precious self esteem!!! :p
You know what's funny? That my friends are turning to ME for parenting guides. One even told me yesterday that she has now started implementing timeouts on her boys. She learned that those timeouts are more effective when the boys are told that every time they speak out/act up during timeouts, the timer is reset.
Another has learned to not let her kids bully her and not let them get away with throwing temper tantrums in the public - walk away from them and not respond to them. They shut up and run after her.
It's sad when parents won't revert to old school and actually hold their kids accountable for their own actions. I do.
I have mixed feelings about using public humiliation as a form of punishment.
Btw, how is your son doing in school? Have things in band gotten better?
I don't see a problem with doing this to the older kids, but I think the child in Arizona is a bit young. I don't know what else I would have done, I don't have kids but I know the sight of that youngster gives me pangs.
As a parent who was turned in for child abuse for spanking my kids, I am one who can't stand these liberal-assed holier-than-thou asswipes who feel that because they have children who can do no wrong (even when robbing the local minit-mart) that they can then dictate to you how to raise your own children.
Thus, I've resorted to Extortion.
Yeah. I tend to give my kids TONS of stuff, and then I mercilessly take said items away when unacceptable behavior is exhibited.
Public humiiliation is going to be one of the few factors that we can use to make these kids understand the rationale of their actions.
Oh, and the World of Warcraft reference? That hurts Dana..
I've got a level 80 Dwarven warrior, and a leve 72 Death Knight!
I've admitted how much I love video games..
Bravo, bravo and well said, Dana.
Excellent post. I think this is a great idea and it doesn't bother me one bit. Our children have to be held accountable. Period.
I'm with Hubman on wondering if there was something the parents could have been doing all along to teach this stuff earlier on to prevent the punishment from being needed. I don't think kids learn if you let them run wild and then hit them with these punishments after they screw up big time.
I agree with Hubman. (No shocker!) The parent has to assert their authority as the parent early and often.
As we tell DB:
"You already have friends, we are your parents".
"You do not live in a democracy. You live in a benevolent dictatorship. When you contribute 1/4 of the cost of running the house, you may have a vote."
"You are insane if you think you are getting....(fill in as necessary)
Turn, thank you for correcting my Warcraft verbiage! Whew! *giggle*
Jay, creativity in parenting is essential. Just when you think you've got it figured out those little buggers throw you a curve ball.
SS, I agree!
M, what? You had the odasity to hold kids accountable? Oh my!
Hubman, two things come to mind. First, the parents in question did not use this as their first mode of discipline - all had tried many other less "severe" things prior to resorting to this. Second, maybe you'll get lucky, but I can tell you that even if you do things "right" with parenting, kids will still screw up - sometimes in a big way.
RLL, well, not getting the authorities called is nothing short of impossible these days.
Os, funny you brought that up! I'll be doing another post on how the schools are now coddling to the fragile ego concept, and giving E's instead of F's is just one of the ways.
Ms. I, I think this is something to be used in moderation, but being a bit humbled cannot be a bad thing.
Breve, oh yes! You've learned the public school way of disciplining, haven't you?
NV, you know, I believe the pendulum swung a little too far on this one.
Snugs, I do too, and as I said I believe it should be used sparingly and carefully.
Lu, there was no indication how old the AZ boy was, but the information in that story was that they had tried just about everything else.
Jorm, so tell me, how do you really feel about the government dictating how you raise your kids?
Doomed, thank you!
Vixen, accountability seems to be hard to come by these days - take the bail-out for example *wink*
NY Diva, and that would be the missing part of this little tirade - maybe they had been doing everything "right" *shrugs*
ASM, all that I will say is there are no guarantees that asserting parental authority early and often guarantees accountability later on - but it certainly makes your chances much better.
This post was great. I actually had to read it aloud to Billy because I think you have some fantastic points.
There is absolutely nothing more pathetic than becoming addicted to a game. I read about WoW widows all the time on my bargain board. It is a common and very sad phenomenon these days.
BTW, I have been known to spank a butt in public and if anyone had the audacity to report me to CPS, I'd gladly answer any questions. I think the problem with a lot of parents is they try to be their kid's friend instead of a parent.
I pray that this is a decision I'll never have to contemplate. I would imagine each parent in this situation was at their wits end.
parenting is not for sissies
better to be humiliated with a sandwich board now than an orange jumpsuit and handcuffs later...
I hope it is a lesson learned.
I LOVED those signs and the idea!!!! Thank God there are still parents out there that make sure their children learn from their mistakes. And the entitlement thing? I see it so often, mostly with Chris's son, and some of my friends kids. One of my friends struggles with her monthly budget but yet both her teenagers have cell phones, she bought her oldest daughter a car, and THAT daughter constantly gives her trouble, fights over cleaning or running errands. I say she should take the car but she won't do it.
Post a Comment