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When the battle between love and hate was raging, I was often overwhelmed, confused, frustrated, disappointed, insecure, angry and fearful. Now that the battle has ceased, I feel only indifference, which isn't really feeling at all, is it?
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18 comments:
As many have often said...The opposite of love isn't hate; it's indifference. Cheers Dana!!
Indifference is a state of mind. It can be very protective.
Having been there myself I so wish you were not. It absolutely can be protective, which can serve its purpose for a time.
In my experience though, indifference became its own prison. Not feeling the rejection and sorrow did not quench my real need to exchange love and intimacy with one person who actually felt mine was worthwhile.
Matt-Man, but what do you do with indifference? I think it might be more of a beast than hate ever was.
Richard, it can, but requires careful construction of thick walls which become difficult to ever break down.
Kahuna, I can see that the balance here comes from not getting too comfortable with indifference.
Love and hate are closer to each other than indifference is to either...
Indifference may protect, but it also insulates which is more deadening for the soul. It numbs you. It removes you.
You can't do anything with it. You simply find something in someone else, or better yet, within yourself with which to replace it. Cheers!!
It's a feeling...that, to me, says you've given up and there's nothing else to feel but...indifference.
Everything that all of the other commenters said pretty much sums it up; I do not think I could add anything else of substance.
All I know is this, Dana. That's no way to go through life; not when it can be so good...and, unfortunately, sometimes so short. I don't "know" you, I don't know your circumstances--but I have been able to pick up on how smart you are, so all I can figure is that you have your own, very good reasons for being where you are. I just can't help but think that you really do deserve more in the way of happiness. Hatred, confusion, frustration, disappointment, insecurity...and especially indifference...they all change you in not-so-great ways. I don't even know exactly what my point is, other than it is my opinion that you've just GOT to find a way to have some happiness and some FUN! That is my wish for you!
Its been told that indifference is the opposite of love. I get accused of being indifferent on many things and levels, and I probably am. I like it there.
You are spot on with that. I don't think I've evr felt more indifferent in my life. I don't really care what I feel, I just want to feel SOMETHING!
What indifference can bring is clarity. You can now have all your faculties to plan the next step without emotion putting filters on your perceptions regarding that person/situation. Indifference saves your energy for other things that need your attention. Maybe its not a bad thing if applied correctly.
Buff, I'd have to agree - at least they both elicit some passion.
Exploring, one of my (many) fears is that spending too much time in that dead spot will do permanent damage to my soul.
Matt-Man, I think finding it within myself is the place to start.
NV, I'm not so sure it is a feeling ...
kim-d, I'm not sure they are "very good" reasons, but clearly I'm not quite ready to move forward, although indifference may be a step in that direction.
SS, you like indifference? Not feeling? Interesting.
M, unfortunately, I've been finding myself in behaviors that aren't really healthy trying to find some feeling.
Desmo, I will say there is some truth in your comment. Decision making - without the cloud of emotional upheaval - is a much more logical process.
Indifference seems like it might be a bit more tolerable to feel. Less painful.
*hugs*
Indifference can allow you objectivity.
I believe indifference is a feeling. It's a feeling that will protect you. I once had a very wise counselor tell me that one of the most effective things a person can do is to show apathy towards another person. Showing apathy implies that you choose neither to feel love nor hate toward another person or situation. Can you imagine telling someone that you don't love them nor hate them? What's left? Feeling nothing at all - and that's pretty powerful!
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