A Mother's Day Wish

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This Mother's Day, I'd like to give every mom the gift of less judgment - of themselves and of other mothers.

Many of us set some unrealistic bar in mothering perfection. There are no fights between siblings because we are "good" parents and we teach our children to resolve conflict peacefully and love their brothers and sisters. Our kids remain injury free because we buy them crawling knee pads, watch them every second as they begin to walk and continue chaperoning their field trips through middle school. We protect our kids from bullies, heartache, disappointment and punishment, and we start judging other mother's the moment we hear they did something that could be considered the least bit dangerous.

We allow fear to brainwash us. We worry that everything we do as a mother may be putting our kids in danger - that they will hate us later in life because of what we did - or didn't do. If we thought it would help, we'd wrap them in bubble wrap and secure with duct tape.

The problem is that we are not only doing ourselves a disservice when we are so self-critical, but we are doing our kids a disservice as well. Every time we rescue or protect our kids from natural consequences, we are telling them (through our actions) that we believe they are not capable and competent. We are actually holding them back from developing into smart, happy, responsible adults.

Stop. Take a deep breath. Teach them basic safety, then give them some freedom - freedom to develop logical reasoning and coping skills. Statistically, the crime rate today is equal to what it was back in 1970 and crimes against children have actually decreased (although you'd never believe that based on media reports). Let them feel the pain, disappointment and consequences of their decisions, and know in your heart that this is the BEST thing you can do for them as a mother. And quit being so hard on yourselves ... and other mothers.

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