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Because I want to sit at the cool table with Os and M ...
1. The first rule of working in an office and getting along is don't fart in your cubicle and try to blame it on your neighbor.
2. As a child, I used to really enjoy digging for clams.
3. When I think of carnivals I think of creepy, drug-dazed indigents in charge of large, powerful equipment filled with small children.
4. Any blooming flower is my favorite spring flower.
5. Things on my desk include a 32 oz coffee cup, a half-full bottle of Pepsi Max and a tube of Lip Vitamins Lip Oil (mango flavor).
6.Life sometimes makes me wanna curl up in a little ball in the corner and act like a dust bunny.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to grocery shopping (not really, but that's what I'll be doing), tomorrow my plans include cleaning out the front planting beds for perennial planting next weekend, laundry and church and Sunday, I want to go on a 15-20 mile bike ride!
Generally, there are TWO (four if you count Mother's Day/Father's Day and Valentine's Day) holidays that people in long-term relationships feel should be formally acknowledged - birthdays and anniversaries. Of course, men and women sometimes differ on their expectation of "formal" acknowledgment, but most of the women I know think a card (purchased, hand made or even a sticky note on the fridge) is all that is needed.
When the day of your wedding anniversary rolls around and your wife leaves a card on the bedside table for you to find as you wake up (along with a cup of fresh coffee and your reading glasses so that you can actually see the card) coming downstairs 30 minutes later and saying, "I've just been too busy to card shop, but I'll make up for it today" is probably not going to earn you any brownie points.
Showing up that evening to meet for a beer and appetizers at your favorite micro-brewery, and still not having said card in your possession is likely going to make her want to spend the next anniversary at the micro-brewery without you.
Any guesses???
When you tailgate me on the way to work and I am forced to choose between driving through a big puddle or hitting a semi-truck head on, I'll choose the big puddle every time. Yes, I reallize that means that I will splash muddy water on your white 2009 Accura, but flashing your lights at me because you felt I should have slowed down so as not to splash you was a little ridiculous.
Making sure you got to the front door at work before me, and letting it close in my face as you gave me a sneer? For a 56 year old woman that was extremely childish behavior. I really don't care that your family name is on one of the main streets in town. Next time I hope your window is rolled down when I drive through that puddle!
Because I want to sit at the cool table with Os and M ...
1. The first rule of working in an office and getting along is don't fart in your cubicle and try to blame it on your neighbor.
2. As a child, I used to really enjoy digging for clams.
3. When I think of carnivals I think of creepy, drug-dazed indigents in charge of large, powerful equipment filled with small children.
4. Any blooming flower is my favorite spring flower.
5. Things on my desk include a 32 oz coffee cup, a half-full bottle of Pepsi Max and a tube of Lip Vitamins Lip Oil (mango flavor).
6.Life sometimes makes me wanna curl up in a little ball in the corner and act like a dust bunny.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to grocery shopping (not really, but that's what I'll be doing), tomorrow my plans include cleaning out the front planting beds for perennial planting next weekend, laundry and church and Sunday, I want to go on a 15-20 mile bike ride!
~*~*~*~*~
Generally, there are TWO (four if you count Mother's Day/Father's Day and Valentine's Day) holidays that people in long-term relationships feel should be formally acknowledged - birthdays and anniversaries. Of course, men and women sometimes differ on their expectation of "formal" acknowledgment, but most of the women I know think a card (purchased, hand made or even a sticky note on the fridge) is all that is needed.
When the day of your wedding anniversary rolls around and your wife leaves a card on the bedside table for you to find as you wake up (along with a cup of fresh coffee and your reading glasses so that you can actually see the card) coming downstairs 30 minutes later and saying, "I've just been too busy to card shop, but I'll make up for it today" is probably not going to earn you any brownie points.
Showing up that evening to meet for a beer and appetizers at your favorite micro-brewery, and still not having said card in your possession is likely going to make her want to spend the next anniversary at the micro-brewery without you.
Any guesses???
~*~*~*~*~
When you tailgate me on the way to work and I am forced to choose between driving through a big puddle or hitting a semi-truck head on, I'll choose the big puddle every time. Yes, I reallize that means that I will splash muddy water on your white 2009 Accura, but flashing your lights at me because you felt I should have slowed down so as not to splash you was a little ridiculous.
Making sure you got to the front door at work before me, and letting it close in my face as you gave me a sneer? For a 56 year old woman that was extremely childish behavior. I really don't care that your family name is on one of the main streets in town. Next time I hope your window is rolled down when I drive through that puddle!
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23 comments:
I am SO with you on the anniversary thing. My husband sucks at cards and stuff like that. I got him a card for Valentines day. Now, keep in mind, I had told him a week beforehand that he didn't have to get me anything, just a nice card, that he actually meant, is all I would need. I gave him the card on the morning of V'Day, and he said, "Oh, I haven't gotten you a card yet." I said, "Then don't do it now because it will mean absolutely nothing." Men.
Ha Ha Ha! I'm sorry, but that mud on the Accura is really funny. What kind of moron thinks they WOULDN'T get their car dirty if there is any amount of wetness on the road????
Welcome to the cool kid's table!
Funny, you don't strike me as the micro-brew beer and appetizers type...pfffttt...I couldn't even type that with a straight face! Didn't see you here early in the morning. A couple too many brews? ;-)
Well for starters, a cubical fart is an absolute sin!!!!! lol
Hrmmmm... Here's my opinion re: the said card: I truly believe that the most important thing is spending time with with your sweetie. Cards, to me, they're nice...but, if you really think about it, it's sort of impersonal in a way, because it's not your words. What I do instead of a card (sometimes I do get the card), I make a homemade video with our wedding song behind it or something that will have a lasting impression. Where do all those cards pile up anyway? I would hate to find out... lol
Rude people: KARMA. Nuff' said? I know the types you're talking about and they think you're supposed to wipe their (_|_) just because they're a well known high society kinda' person.
Meh.
Opt for the puddle every time sista!
Hey that was you with the puddle? ;)
Yeah no excuse not to have a card.
Bad form.
People who slam doors in my face get a "sheesh what a fucking asshole" from me.
I try to treat my wife like a Queen. That usually doesn't work out the way her or I want it to. But I do try. As for your co-worker. A spray can of undercoat from your local auto supply store liberally applied to the Acura windshield will do wonders for her attitude. The undercoating is a favorite of motorcyclists as it seems to discourage the rude driver.
I think what makes it the worst for me regarding the whole anniversary thing- is him SAYING he didn't have time for the card. A 'normal' person would have felt badly for not reciprocating, thanked YOU for your card and then shown up later with a card. But pointing it out themselves, then at the end of the day still showing up w/o one? Yeah....next year you should celebrate said anniversary w/o before mentioned person. ;)
Bina, you know, I was willing to accept his "excuse" and not allow myself to be bothered by receiving a card later in the day, but to tell me you are going to do it that day, and *still* not do it? Grrrr ...
Osbasso, hard to believe that I would be interested in Double-Barrel Stout and hot artichoke/spinach dip, isn't it? Oh ... and it takes more than three pints for me to admit to a few too many, however I was feeling them last night!
Deb, I'm OK with a cubicle fart, but at least stand up and acknowledge that it is your work! What's really funny about "high society" in my town of 3500 is that they aren't "high society" once they leave the confines of the village. *shakes head*
Hammer, indeed it was, and I'll slop you with muddy water again if given the chance *evil grin*
doomed, when I saw her flash her lights I thought it was my imagination. Seriously, I cannot imagine being irritated with someone when I was tailgating, but when she let the door slam in my face with her evil sneer? There was no doubt she really saw the entire event as my fault *shakes head*
Vixen, know anyone who would want to drink a few micro-brews and eat appetizers with me next April 30th??
Oh yeah, cause you know I'm a cool kid...
Yea, you should have totally stood up said person.
As a veteran of the open road, my favorite trick on tailgaters was to leave my foot on the gas, and hit the brake pedal so the lights came on like a panic stop- but never slowed down... I flipped a piece of pizza in a woman's lap one day, as she was eating and tailgating...
I could rant for several paragraphs about tailgating butt wipes. Short of that I will just sympathize you and wish them all a slow agonizing drive to wherever it is they are in such a hurry to get to.
32 oz coffe cup AND Pepsi Max? Need caffeine much? [Me too....]
I don't have anything to offer that hasn't already been said about the whole anniversary thing :-(
M, well, you drunk text! That's pretty cool!
buff, actually, that thought crossed my mind (I've been known to do that) but I think the muddy water might have done the trick!
Jeff B, good to see you back Jeff! What's really funny is we were headed BACK to work. Who in their right mind is in a hurry to get BACK to work??
Hubman, *stands up* Hello! My name is Dana and I am a caffeine addict. I'm already scoping out dates for April 30, 2010!
Regarding your response to Vixen...I like micro breweries! If Vixen comes, we can make it a threesome.
*ahem*
Um, Happy Anniversary? Or not? All I ever count on is dinner out and the anniversary bonk. Easy.
We usually walk over to the neighbors cube and let one go, no point is stinking up your own. :)
Happy? Anniversary. Bummer toots.
I hope her window is down next time too. That would be classic.
My hubs is not the best at cards and such. He then feels guilty when I bring out the card I purchased for him. Well duh, if I can do it you can do it :)
I HATE BEING TAILGATED. The old bat deserves all the back splash she got, what a maroon :)
Heh. That bitch driver woman story was funny. Small-minded people amuse the hell out of me.
Biscuit, You know, I'm about smack db in the middle of you two. Hmmmm ... I bet we could sell pictures!
Evil Twin's Wife I didn't get the anniversary bonk either ... and dinner came out of our joint account so I paid for my own meal. I want a do-over!
g-man, I've had better anniversaries, like the one I celebrated after my divorce!
Lu', I understand that husband doesn't enjoy purchasing cards, but twice a year I think he could manage to do something he doesn't enjoy for 10 minutes.
Leonhart, In all honesty, I'd have driven around the puddle had there not been a SEMI TRUCK in the lane. She's still not speaking to me!
Um. MmmHmm.... I have an idea or two...
(clearing my calendar);)
Dana, I have missed you so much. I have GOT to get better with the time management on this end. As usual, I am late to the party on this post...but better than not making it at all.
Okay, in the most loving, caring way possible...I'd like to slap the stupid right out of the killjoy spouse. Remind me again WTF EVER made you want to marry the dude. There's not enough money in the world...
Here's the deal. Usually, I feel that nobody truly knows what goes on inside a marriage except the two people who are in it. And since everybody's requirements for their marriages are different, outsiders shouldn't criticize. But, man...I just don't get it how a person can seem to be so devoid of human emotion and feelings. And, honey, I just can't help but wonder how awesome you would be if you were with someone who has the same kind of passion as you. You are SO damn smart (which, to me, is IT), caring, and sexy.
Sorry...can you tell I've completely weaned off the Zoloft. Yup, mouthier than ever. Scary. HA! I'll shut up now, except to say I love the muddy water on the white 2009 Acura, and I would smile REAL BIG every time I saw the old biddy. BWAHAHAHAHA!
Miss you!
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