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The reasons I hesitate to publish posts like yesterday's are twofold:
(1) I know that I open myself up to criticism, and being that I am often so self critical, I take everything that everyone says personally and use that criticism as a tool to "punish" myself even more, and
(2) Once I put things in writing, I feel an overwhelming obligation to follow through and be accountable, even when I have contradictory thoughts at a later time.
The reasons I hesitate to publish posts like yesterday's are twofold:(1) I know that I open myself up to criticism, and being that I am often so self critical, I take everything that everyone says personally and use that criticism as a tool to "punish" myself even more, and
(2) Once I put things in writing, I feel an overwhelming obligation to follow through and be accountable, even when I have contradictory thoughts at a later time.
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12 comments:
I just read your post from yesterday, as well as the comments. I didn't see any harsh criticism other than advise or 'what should be done' type of answers, only to help you... At least, that's how I saw it, unless there was another post you were speaking of. But just remember, when you are criticized for your writing and what's in your heart - try to develop a thick skin. Most writers and artists who express themselves from deep inside and let themselves become vulnerable to the world, get criticized, critiqued and judged. It's all apart of the package. Take all the positive and hold it close to your heart, and take the negative, the constructive criticism, work with it, see if anything needs changing and throw out the rest.
I think you're magnificent and so brave to be so open! (Which is why I read your blog often.)
Hope you're having a beautiful Sunday...
I change my mind often and for many different reasons. Sometimes, just venting a situation is enough to make it bearable for a while longer. I'm proud of you for actually giving this issue a lot of thought. You're being very mature about the whole process.
One thing my wife and I did raising our kids- If one said something to the kids, the other one backed it. It sent the message to them that they could not play mom and dad against each other. I know with a second family situation is isn't always that easy, but stress to your husband this must be absolute.
I find blogging keeps me honest and motivated to stick to my promises as well. If I gripe about something and people take the time to give me words of encouragement I have no right to gripe again until I at least try to follow through.
Good luck to you Dana. I'm sure I'm not speaking alone when I say you deserve a happy life.
I change my mind all the time also. You don't have to accountable to us just because you hit publish. We will love and support you no matter what.
Buffalodick, my husband and I have the same policy, however it would never extend to backing one another up if we abused our children.
"Well, gee, Bean, if Daddy says you're a goddam kid, then you must be, because he and I are a team."
You see, Dana would lose that argument with Husband, given the fact that half of the time, if she held up her end of the bargain, she would be required to back up verbal abuse.
I tend to focus very much on criticisms and ignore compliments a lot too. I think it's good to hold ourselves to certain standards or be self-critical to a certain extent. But, we need to fair to ourselves and give ourselves a break sometimes too.
As for being contradictory? I think we all are that way much of the time.
Hang in there. I know about the tired. So tired. Life beats us down, but I truly do blieve we come out better for it on the other side...eventually. :)
Screw it. If the criticism comes from people that you don't really know all that well and you really have no deep connection to, just let it slide right off. That's what I do...well, after I reply with a sarcastic retort or two. Cheers!!
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
--Matthew 11:28-30
The passage has been on my fridge for about 15 years.
Yeah. I gotta second Biscuit.
But as well....I *hate* opening myself up to criticism. And unfortunately bc of it I don't 'put myself' out there very often.
I'm not sure the 'right' response to this....but *hugs*
I hereby criticise your self-criticism.
Do I owe you something? Nope. That door swings the other way. Do what you want, irrespective of what you wrote.
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