11 January 2009

Sunday Secret

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I understand the need to contribute to your retirement plan, but increasing your contribution percentages, without any discussion, and shorting the household budget by the amount spent on groceries each month, is simply selfish. I understand it is YOUR paycheck and you'll do with it what YOU want (you made that clear), but understand that I cannot just "make it work" as you insisted I do - I am saving for my own "rainy day."

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24 comments:

we're doomed said...

There is no "I" in team. And it appears there is no "us" in your marriage. How sad!

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear this. When your rainy day comes it will eventually clear to a sunny and cheerful day.

Schmoop said...

I have no retirement plan so this situation is foreign to me. Good Luck with all of that. Cheers Dana!!

Another Suburban Mom said...

Perhaps you should ask him if he his planning on eating the percentage less than is going into the grocery fund.

buffalodick said...

The best laid plans of mice and men... I have lived long enough to lose half my life savings twice- had nothing to start with, still OK. Life does not come with a crystal ball- and 200 years ago, no one had even heard of life insurance..

Anonymous said...

Ugh, what an ass. I'd serve rice and beans everyday. :P

Nolens Volens said...

Oh boy...

Vixen said...

I second Kannon7. ;)

And Elisa too, possibly rotate potatoes with the rice and beans. For him of course, since HE doesn't want to spend HIS money on food.

You can Call me AL said...

Unless there is a prenuptial, there is no mine! it is all ours

boo said...

*shaking head* I just don't understand...

M said...

Spam & eggs, honey........spam & eggs.

Add in some rice & beans like Elisa suggested & generic everything else :)

Biscuit said...

I don't understand a marriage divided monetarily. It wasn't that way in my previous marriage, and it isn't that way now. Of course, there are other issues. Everything we have is in his name. Bills, cars, house (although I *think* he changed this after 9/11). Basically, on paper, I don't exist. I can't even tell you how hard it is when I need papers to prove where I live. I had one man shake his head at me and tell me that I needed to look out for myself better. Kind of embarrassing.

Me said...

i don't understand why you continue to be surprised.

Librarian Lee said...

aren't there some states where you get part of his retirement fund if there was a parting of the way?

Anonymous said...

The lack of communications here is disturbing...on many levels.

Lu' said...

I don't generally understand the monetary spilt in a marriage either. Hubby and I discuss everything. It is usually something he wants and I'm like what the hell have it. But we at least talk about it. In the case of your situation, I am not suprised.

snugs said...

love the rice and beans suggestion, and I am also in the crowd that is not suprised..

katherine. said...

I'm skipping the comments...so it could be a repetition...in California retirement plans...and pensions...et cetera are community property...regardless of whose paycheck the contributions come from.

Moosekahl said...

Has he ever gone to the grocery store? Ugh! Always something. Thinking about you!

Nicey said...

Yeah as said earlier, there is no 'I' in TEAM but there is a 'ME' nuff said, go Dana your made of win
Laters
Nicey

kim-d said...

This may sound strange, but I hope your rainy day comes soon. Life is too short for all of this, and there is too much happiness to be found out there...

Until then, I also like Elisa's beans & rice idea--generic, all of it! :)

Real Live Lesbian said...

I'm with ASM. I would completely stop buying the stuff he eats. It's only "fair."

Anonymous said...

The thing to cut out is whatever it is he likes.
then when he asks tell him HE said for you to do that.

Liz Hill said...

Just shop for you and the children


And generally the marital portion of a retirement account is divisible.


And for those with spouses----be involved in the financial affairs of the household---if you cannot do that in your marriage you have a serious problem that may some day really bite you in the tush