Ignorance Isn't Bliss

~*~*~

I sometimes wonder what gift it is that people have that allows them to deal so well with ignorant people. All I know is that I don't have that gift. My solution? Grab them by the shoulders and shake them forcibly until the common sense settles in. Not surprisingly, people aren't usually receptive to that type of coercion.

I joined Cam's middle school PTO in hopes of eliciting change. I have always been one of those people who believes if you want the right to complain, you better roll up your sleeves and be willing to put in the work to address your complaints. Nothing frustrates me more than sideline parents - the ones who are quick to point out what they feel is wrong but when you give them an opportunity to be a part of the solution, they tell you why someone else should fix it.

There have been significant demographic changes in Cam's school the past three years. His first year there the school was still a middle school/high school (grades 6-12) with about 100 kids per grade level. When the district opened the new high school last year, they also adjusted the attendance boundaries for the middle school, pulling in kids from nearby, less rural communities. The face of the school changed drastically. What was once a student population that was 98% white is now a student population that is roughly 30% Hispanic - many of those households primarily Spanish speaking.

I saw this as a good thing - the lack of diversity in this area has always been a concern of mine. Unfortunately, the majority of the membership of the PTO (parents of that original 98% white student population) are uncomfortable with this change.

I attempted to bring in "outsiders" last year as when I took on the PTO President position, but became frustrated with a "core" group of parents (mothers) took it upon themselves to circumvent the PTO process and make decisions outside of the group. I should not have been surprised when that same "core" group took over leadership of the PTO this year.

After a rather contentious (i.e. I called them on their shit) November PTO meeting, I sent the following email to the current President and Vice President of the PTO:

L & S,

As was probably evident in our last meeting, I am EXTREMELY concerned with the direction in which the PTO seems to be moving. Rather than harbor ill feelings, I thought it was best to lay it all out here.

The issue surrounding only the "executive board" voting on PTO issues is HUGE for me. By nature, PTA's and PTO's tend to be exclusionary in their practices. In my opinion, it is those exclusionary practices that make it so much more difficult for us to get involvement at the middle school level. One of the things that drew me to the PTO here was the lack of formality - feeling like my voice mattered - that this wasn't some club for the stay-at-home moms where I just didn't fit in.

Now, I started feeling things changing last year when I was President. I have no doubt that logistics and friendships play more of a role in this than any blatant attempt to "control" the PTO, but the conversations that the two of you (and that often included the principal) were having last year outside of PTO meetings started to, in my opinion, compromise the integrity of the PTO. I know it wasn't intentional on the part of either of you, but it was not unusual to hear about a plan long after it had already been discussed outside of the confines of a PTO meeting.

I will tell you that in the few meetings we've had so far this year, I can't count the number of times a meeting topic was opened up with the words, "S I were talking ..." I realize that the two of you talk frequently - that your friendship extends outside of the PTO, but when it starts sounding like the two of you are making decisions outside of the group (decisions that impact the entire group) and then bringing them to a meeting after you've already decided how you'd like them to go, it feels exclusionary.

Now, maybe I'm the only one who feels this way - or maybe I'm the only one who would ever speak up - but experience tells me that if one person in a group is feeling a particular way, it's likely there are others who do to.

So, what now? I've been doing a lot of research on PTO/PTA/School Group bylaws and voting practices. There is a TON of information on the PTO Today website (www.ptotoday.com). Generally accepted practice for these types of groups is that ALL members of the PTO/PTA/School Group vote after a motion is made, seconded and discussed as long as there is a quorum present. The issue is one of proper procedure for voting rather than allowing only a handful of people to vote (I've attached a copy of "simplified" Robert's Rules).

Ultimately, the "executive" board members will decide, but I want you both to know that I will continue to advocate for ALL members of the PTO having a VOTING voice in how the group conducts business, what activities it supports and the direction we head in the future.

I've always believed the PTO should be a means to empower parents - to encourage them to participate in the education and growth of their child/children - to be a part of the educational community. I hope the PTO continues in that direction.

Let's just say that email didn't go over well. Seems both L & S were offended by my perspective and have now gone out of their way to exclude me from all PTO communications.

Cam has only 5 months left in this school. I'm not making any headway in altering the "elitist" attitudes of the PTO. Try as I might, I can't get them to see that the world is much bigger than their neighborhood and they are really limiting themselves by keeping "outsiders" away from the group.

Is it time to just drop this and move on as it will no longer directly impact me or Cam after this school year, or is it a fight worth continuing to fight?

~*~*~