~*~*~*~*~
**NOTE** This is the third part of my series leading up to Christmas sharing with y'all a little different view of Christmas. A view that has been one of the greatest gifts I've ever received. A view that I hope will remind us all to slow down, take a deep breath amidst the chaos, and take a moment to remember why it is we celebrate Christmas.
~*~
**NOTE** This is the third part of my series leading up to Christmas sharing with y'all a little different view of Christmas. A view that has been one of the greatest gifts I've ever received. A view that I hope will remind us all to slow down, take a deep breath amidst the chaos, and take a moment to remember why it is we celebrate Christmas.
~*~
One of my biggest worries leading up to Christmas was Cam. He's been a trooper through this, but he has struggled with the sudden and complete change in lifestyle. There just wasn't any way for me to keep it from him and, quite honestly, it was time he realized the insignificance of the material things we had so that he could appreciate the peace of where we are headed.
Still ...
Cam has asked for just one gift - the Xbox 360 Elite, Modern Warfare 2 Limited Edition.
Understand, this is not just another entitled kid asking for yet another gaming system. This is much bigger than that.
You see, Cam was never "allowed" to have a gaming system, nor was I "allowed" to purchase one for him. Why? Because he never deserved one. Some of you might remember earlier in the year when husband purchased a PS3, hooked it up to the living room TV, then told all of us that it was his and only he was allowed to play it.
So, not only was Cam never "allowed" to have a gaming system, one was dangled in front of him - daily - for almost a year. A reminder that he wasn't good enough. This year I have the opportunity to show him that he is good enough, even though he isn't perfect.
The problem? Although I was one of the fortunate employees this year who received a year-end bonus, my available budget was for an Xbox 360 Arcade system.
The difference between the two systems? A ton of technology and about $200 that wasn't in my budget.
From everything I read and hear ('cause I know NOTHING about gaming systems), what you get for the extra $200 is well worth the investment, but I just couldn'tshit eek the extra money out of the budget no matter how hard I tried.
I sat down with Cam to discuss the situation. I explained that I knew what he wanted, but I just couldn't get there. Rather than throw a fit of entitled teen, he had a solution.
It's not unusual for him to receive somewhere between $100-$200 in cash gifts from family over the holidays. He asked if he could get the Xbox 360 Elite, Modern Warfare 2 Limited Edition if he covered the difference between the cost of the two with the cash gifts he gets from family.
I explained that meant there would be nothing for him under the Christmas tree - that we'd have to wait until the day after Christmas to get his gift. He assured me it was well worth the wait and since I *LIED* to him about Santa Claus (Cam believed in Santa until just last year and he hasn't let me forget that I lied for 12 years), it wasn't like he'd feel that Santa missed our house or anything.
I was proud of him. He didn't get upset. He didn't pout and whine. Instead, he was grateful for what I could contribute and willing to contribute what he could.
Enter in more magic of Christmas ...
As if Cam and I hadn't received enough, hadn't been blessed beyond my wildest imagination, more came.
I'll admit it, I've always been one of those people who denied reality until it hit me up along side the head with a 2 x 4, and that has been kind of a negative thing in the past, but this time it's been clear that it's a "worthy and goodness" 2 x 4 beating on me.
There is the Christmas check my mom sent me that I wasn't at all expecting and, that in a previous life, I would have never cashed (I've only recently discovered just how selfish those kinds of actions are on my part). There is the "little something to help you out" that someone very near and dear to my heart surprised me with. And there was the $75 VISA gift card that showed up yesterday from a very unlikely source (more on that tomorrow - and no, it wasn't from husband).
These gifts? These blessings? They more than make up for the difference in the price of what I could afford and what Cam will now receive.
Shhhh! Don't tell anyone, but there will be an Xbox 360 Elite, Modern Warfare 2 Limited Edition under the tree Christmas morning. My gift this Christmas? There have been an abundance of them, but this one will be to see the glow of surprise and gratitude on Cam's face Christmas morning!
Still ...
Cam has asked for just one gift - the Xbox 360 Elite, Modern Warfare 2 Limited Edition.
Understand, this is not just another entitled kid asking for yet another gaming system. This is much bigger than that.
You see, Cam was never "allowed" to have a gaming system, nor was I "allowed" to purchase one for him. Why? Because he never deserved one. Some of you might remember earlier in the year when husband purchased a PS3, hooked it up to the living room TV, then told all of us that it was his and only he was allowed to play it.
So, not only was Cam never "allowed" to have a gaming system, one was dangled in front of him - daily - for almost a year. A reminder that he wasn't good enough. This year I have the opportunity to show him that he is good enough, even though he isn't perfect.
The problem? Although I was one of the fortunate employees this year who received a year-end bonus, my available budget was for an Xbox 360 Arcade system.
The difference between the two systems? A ton of technology and about $200 that wasn't in my budget.
From everything I read and hear ('cause I know NOTHING about gaming systems), what you get for the extra $200 is well worth the investment, but I just couldn't
I sat down with Cam to discuss the situation. I explained that I knew what he wanted, but I just couldn't get there. Rather than throw a fit of entitled teen, he had a solution.
It's not unusual for him to receive somewhere between $100-$200 in cash gifts from family over the holidays. He asked if he could get the Xbox 360 Elite, Modern Warfare 2 Limited Edition if he covered the difference between the cost of the two with the cash gifts he gets from family.
I explained that meant there would be nothing for him under the Christmas tree - that we'd have to wait until the day after Christmas to get his gift. He assured me it was well worth the wait and since I *LIED* to him about Santa Claus (Cam believed in Santa until just last year and he hasn't let me forget that I lied for 12 years), it wasn't like he'd feel that Santa missed our house or anything.
I was proud of him. He didn't get upset. He didn't pout and whine. Instead, he was grateful for what I could contribute and willing to contribute what he could.
Enter in more magic of Christmas ...
As if Cam and I hadn't received enough, hadn't been blessed beyond my wildest imagination, more came.
I'll admit it, I've always been one of those people who denied reality until it hit me up along side the head with a 2 x 4, and that has been kind of a negative thing in the past, but this time it's been clear that it's a "worthy and goodness" 2 x 4 beating on me.
There is the Christmas check my mom sent me that I wasn't at all expecting and, that in a previous life, I would have never cashed (I've only recently discovered just how selfish those kinds of actions are on my part). There is the "little something to help you out" that someone very near and dear to my heart surprised me with. And there was the $75 VISA gift card that showed up yesterday from a very unlikely source (more on that tomorrow - and no, it wasn't from husband).
These gifts? These blessings? They more than make up for the difference in the price of what I could afford and what Cam will now receive.
Shhhh! Don't tell anyone, but there will be an Xbox 360 Elite, Modern Warfare 2 Limited Edition under the tree Christmas morning. My gift this Christmas? There have been an abundance of them, but this one will be to see the glow of surprise and gratitude on Cam's face Christmas morning!
~*~*~*~*~
24 comments:
...And Dana. I am enjoying the Christmas Gift you are giving me. I think all of the bloggers here will enjoy this one.
See, we have sat by feeling somewhat helpless (at least this Joker did) while Hubby was brow beating you and Cam...emotionally at least.
I knew that the minute you and Cam were able to fly on your own, that you would not just fly...you would soar.
Your Christmas gift to me? Warming my heart by now, watching your successes. And there will be more...I promise you.
Merry Christmas to you and Cam!
...to give is to receive...
What a great surprise for Cam.
Excellent!
Also, the great thing about this story, is that Cam was willing to give up the 200 hundred or so dollars from his grandparents to get something he really wanted.
That sounds responsible to me, not entitled.
:)
Kim
I still believe in Santa Claus! And that's no lie. Who started this rumor that Santa isn't real? QCTM
Excellent!
Merry Christmas to you both.
I have to agree with Joker-SATX, it is so refreshing to read your post now.
In the past, I would get so pissed off on your lack of moxie with your husband. Yet, you were super chic in most other departments of your life.
Dana and Cam,
Merry Christmas and have a Renaissance New Year!
Joker_SATX, it has been absolutely WONDERFUL to have the freedom back to make my own decisions!
Phfrankie Bondo, yes it is ... yes it is!
Karen, I have to tell you I can hardly wait! What's even better? There will be a few other things under the tree for him (part of tomorrow's post) and he has prepared himself for it just being "another day"
Kim, that was a heart warming moment for me. He really offered no resistance but was willing to step up to the plate and do his part. Like all teens, he has his moments of selfish, entitled behavior, but this was not one of those moments.
we're doomed, I'll tell you, this Christmas has certainly challenged my notions on Santa!
Micky-T, thanks, and Merry Christmas to you too!
You can Call me AL, Al!! How the hell are you?? I think many of my readers were pissed off with you and although I certainly didn't do any of this for you guys (sorry) I *am* glad that you are getting the chance to see the other side now!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Isn't Christmas great ? Tiny miracles seem to just happen at this time of year. I sense that Cam has matured a lot over the past year despite the poor excuse for a roll model he was presented with. (I did not know about the 'allow' to have a video game - what an ass!)
Enjoy your Christmas together and relish that excitement in his eyes when he sees it... and play it with him too... But let him win because he is just a teenager and you are a professionally trained assassin and warfare specialist. ;)
A heartwarming tale, and I am so very glad you are getting wonderful community/church support. It will make your transition much easier. You have to get a picture of his face when he sees that Xbox!!! You rock, mamma!
Glad to see so many blessings coming your way. It's amazing how life changes once we remove ourselves from toxic situations.
How is Cam doing overall with all this?
So much awesome is happening to you now. I love it.
peace...
*beams*
Man I would love to be there on Christmas morning to SEE his face :)
This has all been so heartwarming to read. I have always believed in Kharma and it is great to see the kindnesses you have shown others returned to you.
Merry Christmas Dana and Cam!
This is so fabulous! Definitely warms my heart! Thanks for sharing and reminding us of the important parts of Christmas. The new year can only bring bigger and better things for you and Cam.
Kudos to Cam for his willingness to pitch in too. That shows a lot about his character.
What a great story Dana. This was very heartwarming.
I think one of the best things for both of you is you escaped out of that wretched place away from that man.
Merry Christmas to you and Cam and the rest of your family.
I've been out of the loop for a while, but read back and caught up a bit.
Thank God you both got out of that place safely. The emotional scars will hang in there for a long time, but at least the healing has begun.
Merry Christmas to you and Cam and best wishes for good thing in the coming year.
This may be the best Christmas yet for you and Cam! I'm so excited for you.
You deserve this.
You do. You do. You do!!!!
Much love to you and Cam! Enjoy the blessings!
Merry Christmas, Dana! Many wishes for a wonderful new year. Hope
VERY glad things worked out for you and Cam this Christmas. The timing had to have been nerve-wracking -- no sooner have you two made this huge change in your lives, but right on the heels of it is the holiday pressure. I hope somebody out there is making a voodoo doll in the image of that selfish dickhead who wouldn't grant Cam the wish for a playstation and also refused to share with his FAMILY. You are WELL rid of him!! Do not look back!
Hope your Christmas has been truly joyous so far.
/v
I can't wait to hear how much he loved it.
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