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I've not yet received an update on Matthew but hope to hear something later this morning. I'll be sure to put an update on the blog when I know more.
*UPDATE* Matthew is home from the hospital - YIPPEE! He still has quite a bit of swelling in his abdomen, but the pain has lessened significantly. He has a follow-up on Thursday. Tali and Andy will be watching him closely, but it looks like his injury is continuing to improve.
I've not yet received an update on Matthew but hope to hear something later this morning. I'll be sure to put an update on the blog when I know more.
*UPDATE* Matthew is home from the hospital - YIPPEE! He still has quite a bit of swelling in his abdomen, but the pain has lessened significantly. He has a follow-up on Thursday. Tali and Andy will be watching him closely, but it looks like his injury is continuing to improve.
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I found the responses to my Sunday Secret quite interesting this week. Seems many of you handle joint finances far differently (or think you would) than we do in our home. I thought I'd give you a little glimpse into how we do this. Honestly, it seems the most fair way (being that we both work) for us to divvy up the funds. I'm sure some of you are going to think this is FAR too much work, but remember that Ihave anal retentive quirks am a detail oriented person, so this is actually kind of fun in a geeky way.
For the record, All numbers used in this example are fictional. Although I am pretty open about my life, I think posting husband's financial information might be crossing the line ... even for me!
We have a consistent, monthly, household budget based on the previous year's expenses (yes, I actually keep track of our monthly expenses on an Excel spreadsheet). Included in the household budget are things like groceries, mortgage, insurance, entertainment - basically the things required to run the house and entertain the family. For this example, I will say the monthly household budget is $5,000.
I then look at the total monthly household income. For this example we'll say the monthly household income is $9000 and of that $9000, my earnings are 1/3 ($3000/month) and husband's earnings are 2/3 ($6000). Based on those percentages, I deposit 1/3 of the household budget ($1665) to the joint account and husband deposits 2/3 of the household budget ($3,335) to the joint account. Any money left over from the budget at the end of the month is put into savings and used for things like family vacations, major repairs/renovations, etc.
The remaining earnings (in this example, $1335 for me and $2665 for husband) stay in the individuals' accounts and are used for "personal" expenses like transportation costs, clothing, GIFTS, etc.
I review and adjust the household budget numbers about every 6 months, or if one of us has an increase in earnings. That way we continue to contribute "proportionately" to the household expenses.
I know ... I know ... it seems like a lot of work, but it really isn't. It also allows us to see where our money is spent and keeps us true to our budget. Neither of us has to explain purchases from our personal accounts, nor do we have to ask permission to spend money from those accounts. Quite honestly, it saves many arguments. We don't fight about money as long as the other person follows the rules!
So, how do y'all handle your joint finances? If you have just a joint account, are there any "rules" regarding how much any one person can spend on themselves without notifying the other person? How do you handle those "personal" expenses?
I found the responses to my Sunday Secret quite interesting this week. Seems many of you handle joint finances far differently (or think you would) than we do in our home. I thought I'd give you a little glimpse into how we do this. Honestly, it seems the most fair way (being that we both work) for us to divvy up the funds. I'm sure some of you are going to think this is FAR too much work, but remember that I
For the record, All numbers used in this example are fictional. Although I am pretty open about my life, I think posting husband's financial information might be crossing the line ... even for me!
We have a consistent, monthly, household budget based on the previous year's expenses (yes, I actually keep track of our monthly expenses on an Excel spreadsheet). Included in the household budget are things like groceries, mortgage, insurance, entertainment - basically the things required to run the house and entertain the family. For this example, I will say the monthly household budget is $5,000.
I then look at the total monthly household income. For this example we'll say the monthly household income is $9000 and of that $9000, my earnings are 1/3 ($3000/month) and husband's earnings are 2/3 ($6000). Based on those percentages, I deposit 1/3 of the household budget ($1665) to the joint account and husband deposits 2/3 of the household budget ($3,335) to the joint account. Any money left over from the budget at the end of the month is put into savings and used for things like family vacations, major repairs/renovations, etc.
The remaining earnings (in this example, $1335 for me and $2665 for husband) stay in the individuals' accounts and are used for "personal" expenses like transportation costs, clothing, GIFTS, etc.
I review and adjust the household budget numbers about every 6 months, or if one of us has an increase in earnings. That way we continue to contribute "proportionately" to the household expenses.
I know ... I know ... it seems like a lot of work, but it really isn't. It also allows us to see where our money is spent and keeps us true to our budget. Neither of us has to explain purchases from our personal accounts, nor do we have to ask permission to spend money from those accounts. Quite honestly, it saves many arguments. We don't fight about money as long as the other person follows the rules!
So, how do y'all handle your joint finances? If you have just a joint account, are there any "rules" regarding how much any one person can spend on themselves without notifying the other person? How do you handle those "personal" expenses?
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24 comments:
I have a very easy solution and it has been working well for me so far. Stay Single. Now, some might say that being married is better and blah blah blah. I stand by my decision. Never a single fight.
In my entire life- when my wife and I started we had nothing, to what we have now... we have always had joint checking and savings. I've always had enough, even when I had very little... Trust is why we do things the way we do. If you don't have trust, keep finances separate.
Can I have the hall pass? I need to go to the bathroom or uh, hang out in the gym.
Thanks, Teach! :)
All them numbers and stuff at 10 a.m. does an old redneck like me no good.
My wife and I have one checking account and one savings account.
well, I think I said it on Sunday but my take is if you a family unit, you have one financial future (legally) and you have shared goals of where that future is going so all money is "our" money. I wouldn't expect to ask for permission before using our money, but I would think that we would discuss major purchases before hand out of respect.
OK...at this point..I get paid...send the ex about 38% of it and then pay the bills (both my monthly living and all the bills accumulated during the last two years we were together and I was not working)
How's that for fair and sharing?
Knight, I actually think the fact that I have been single 39 of my 44 years might be why I don't find our handling of the finances "disturbing."
Buff, I actually think I could do just a joint checking account, however husband's baggage from his first marriage seems to prevent him from even considering that as an option *shrugs*
Slick, I'm starting to think we really do handle finances in an odd way.
I shared bank accounts with both ex-husbands... money was a problem; friends who have separate accounts, money was/is a problem; I see it this way, if money is going to be a problem, money will be an issue...regardless of how you work it out... honesty, trust, responsibility are the main factors, no matter how cheesy that sounds.. LOL...
Karen, interesting perspective, and one that I have no doubt comes from seeing much of this in your profession.
Bond, I will say that, in our case, husband's child support is figured into the household budget and is not considered one of his personal expenses, but rather is paid from the joint account. Supporting two families is sometimes a bit of a challenge.
How is his child support part of the household? See...I'm looking like the pissy lesbian again, but I think he should shoulder that responsibility considering that he got himself into that situation.
I bet if it was reversed, he'd think it should come out of YOUR account.
I think that like so many other things, whatever works for you is what works. I know couples that have joint accounts and some that have separate accounts and split the bills as if they were just roommates. And that couple has been married 13 years how. Of course they basically have the same income, so that helps them do that. I also know couples that use the husband's income for all living expenses and the wife's income for savings and investments.
Basically I don't find anything weird or odd when it comes to money. But, there are other things too. Like couples who take separate vacations or even have separate bedrooms or whatever. It all works if it's what both of them want.
P.S. Ok, there is one thing I find weird or odd when it comes to money. Women who are housewives and have no idea what their husband makes or how much they have or what investments they have or where the money goes. You know those types? "Well, he's the man and the man is responsible for taking care of everything" types? That I do find weird or odd. Those are the ones that get left at the age of 50 with nothing cause the hubby has run off with his secretary.
Baby, that was cheesy! *gigglesnort*
RLL, maybe it would make more sense if you knew that Cam's educational expenses (school registration, instrument rental, field trip costs, etc.) come out of the joint account as well?
Jay, I've never understood that concept of being oblivious to finances either, but do agree that whatever works, works!
I simply hand my money over to Schmoop and she handles everything money related. We're not married, but I trust her with money more than I trust myself. She is very good at it. Cheers Dana!!
Ryno cannot wait to get up your way tonight. He will soon be eating at his favorite place for ribs. Portillos!!
Having been recently burned by the joint account, I am so glad that I have also kept my personal account. My husband needs some serious instruction when it comes to bill paying and account reconciliation. I also like that instead of a 50-50 split that you base it on percentages. Tennessee changed their child support requirements to a percentage split based on both parents' incomes and time spent with the child last year, and I am thrilled about that too. My theory is whatever works for each couple financially is the way to go. But I still don't think your flowers should have come from the joint account.
Actually, how you run your finances is very common I had thought. I know *many* couples/families that do it that way. And honestly, if it works for you that is really all that matters. Right? :)
Yeah, the TMI was something I wasn't going to even touch. LOL
His child support is a joint item??????WTF!
Sorry but wtf?
When I was married the first time I never had or wanted a joint account. I was a-okay with it until it was continually thrown up in my face that 'he paid' or he 'loaned' me money--when it was our joint money--just in his account.
When Brad and I got together he handed me a large check and said put this in the account you are writing the big checks out of for the house. I said--okay--but the account has to be joint. It is and we can both access it. It's a trust thing and a bonding thing for me. I like it very much.
Ok then, that makes sense, if you treat all of the children the same.
But...I still don't like him! ;)
We combined our money from day one but it took a few years to get the communication down to where we didn't make mistakes.
Now I do all the bills budgeting and investing. The wife shops for clothes and gifts and I do all the household buying.
Big stuff we talk about first.
My ex and I had separate accounts. He made WAY more than me (at that time) and I would get SO freaking mad and jealous at watching the toys he would buy for himself, and I rarely had anything. That man treats his money like his emotions. He can not give it to anyone else.
My current hubby and I have always had, and will always have, joint accounts. It makes things so much easier and neither of us are big spenders so it works out great.
Anyone that says the way you track the budget is too much work hasn't figured out the beauty of MS Excel yet. ;)
We do the joint checking/savings and neither person has to really "ask" for anything moderate but any large purchases are always discussed beforehand.
Matt-Man, I actually handle all of the joint finances, but husband has always been a bit secretive about where his money goes. Maybe I should care more? *shrugs*
Ambergail, the percentages seem more equitable, although I'll admit to some of the jealousy Bina mentions further down in the comments.
Vixen, I appreciate the fact that people are creative in coming up with TMI questions, but that one just threw me for a loop!
Turnbaby, his CS is a joint item, just as expenses for my son (not his biological child) are a joint item. Of course, there is no way I actually spend on Cam what his CS is each month, but again I see this as an "equitable" arrangement.
RLL, I don't like him most days either.
Hammer, we set a $200 limit for spending in the joint account - any household expenses exceeding that amount (with the exception of monthly bills) have to be discussed.
Bina, the inequity in the his and hers accounts has been our single biggest issue. Although I fudged the numbers in my example, his income is triple what mine is. I buy an iPod Nano and a SkullCandy headset, he buys an iPod touch and a Bose headset. I buy a $100 bike at Target, he buys an $800 bike at the bike shop. There is most definitely inequity in what's left over to spend and I do feel "less than" quite often. I've always thought if I had that much more than him, I'd offer to help him out, but that's not how it works - it's "his" money and I am often reminded of that.
Good Dr., I really cannot even imagine having access to all of the earnings we both have. It would sure make life a bit easier.
Ours is somewhat more simple, as I don't currently work outside the home. 100% of Spousehole's income goes into a joint account and I spend it all feeding, clothing, and housing us all. Okay, I don't spend it all and we do have a budget for groceries and household spending. It's a little out of whack right now with Spousehole in S.C. and the kids and me in Michigan. We have his rent and other expenses on top of the expenses for the rest of us living in the house in Michigan. Selling the house here and getting the kids and me moved to S.C. will simplify things once again.
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