19 July 2008

Sunday Secret


The flowers you sent to my office for my birthday were beautiful, but when I checked the bank account balance later that day and saw that you paid for them with "our" money, rather than with "yours", they lost about half of their appeal - the half that I paid for.

36 comments:

Liz Hill said...

My opinion remains the same;-)

captain corky said...

He's not doing to well is he...

buffalodick said...

You're lucky he didn't steal them from your garden...and put them in a vase you already owned...

Karen said...

I don't really get the concept of my money vs. your money vs. our money. However, if you have those rules in your family, it is clear that gifts need to come from separate funds.

Dana said...

Turnbaby, as does mine!

Corky, no ... not really. I try to be appreciative, but always feel there is just something off.

Buff, actually, that would have been far more romantic!

Dana said...

Karen, in our home we have three accounts - his, hers and ours - each of us contributes to the joint account(money used ONLY to run the house - mortgage, groceries, utilities, etc.), and each of us has a personal account (that we can spend how we choose). Gifts have NEVER been considered a household expense.

Schmoop said...

Looks like someone is gonna to get a slow leak in his tires again. Cheers Dana!!

Jeff B said...

Kind of like getting a new car only to find out that the lot down the street has just reported one matching its description as stolen.

Knight said...

*sigh* I think he should be contributing to part of his next gift. But would he notice?

Beth said...

I love your Sunday Secrets. Sorry you had to pay for half the flowers, that blows. Hope you are having fun on your trip.

Christo Gonzales said...

this guy is a gem.....make sure he doesnt squirrel away the mutual funds in a 4th account

Dana said...

Matt-Man, maybe I need to put that "Gay Pride" bumper sticker on his car in the middle of the night.

Jeff, very similar.

Knight, I do too, but because I have this "high road" mentality.

Dana said...

Schmoop, sometimes I wish I would run out of them!

DB, he's not the only one capable of squirreling away mutual funds *wink*

Dianne said...

Is it possible he didn't realize he was using the wrong account?

otherwise, that's just crap for brains.

Anndi said...

*groan*

*snarf* @ the gay pride bumper sticker...

Maybe he should receive a subscription to the Monthly Enema... delivered directly to his office. :)

Jay said...

On his birthday tell him to go get himself a present using his account and you'll put "From Dana" on it for him. LOL

tt said...

I'm thinking he must be a new soul...cuz he's got a lot to learn in this lifetime.
They are pretty though.
Glad you got to spend time with Tali too.!

You can Call me AL said...

I must be very old fashion, I just don't get it. In my marriage, we have one account that we both control and contribute to.
I do prefer to give and receive gifts that are made not bought.

rage said...

Yeah, his actions would certainly piss me off.

Anonymous said...

Shoot, a man after my own heart! ;)

Hey girl, sorry I missed the birthday. I was wrastlin steers and lassoing gals.

Sooooo, happy belated birthday :)

Neil Benson said...

I understand what you're saying. Has he gotten you flowers in the past under any circumstances? did you check the bank account balance to see if he had taken the money from the joint account?

if he had paid for the flowers on his own money would there have been any long-term effect?

Mike said...

Ouch! Even i wouldn`t do that

Dana said...

Dianne, anything is possible, but in the 5 years we've been banking, this has never happened before, and quite frankly, I've given him the benefit of the doubt too many times.

Anndi, for such a well educated man, he isn't very smart sometimes.

Jay, that's not a bad idea!

Nicey said...

Oooh Pick a window Mr Dana your leaving !!!

Nicey

Dana said...

tt, I was thinking more along the lines of a dense soul!

Al, I would be fine with a single account, however husband did that in his previous marriage and REFUSED to do it this time. Told me he'd NEVER be put in a situation again where he had to ask for money *shrugs*

Rage, I think it was more of a disappointment - thinking he had done something quite special, then discovering it wasn't as special as I thought.

Dana said...

Slick, funny ... that thought crossed my mind too *wink*

Neil, he has gotten me flowers two other times, and neither of those were purchased with "our" money. I check the joint account balance daily because I'm an anal accountant *giggle* and yes, it may have made a difference had he purchased them with his own $$ - at the very least it wouldn't have made the negative impact that purchasing them with the joint funds made.

Mike, ouch indeed.

Liz Hill said...

For the first time in my life I have a joint bank account. I really like it.

cat said...

Oh that SUCKS! Are kidding?

I think like everyone else, he should contribute to his own birthday gift next time.

To hell with that bullshit. If he can afford it, then like the other blogger said, go out into your beautiful garden and hand pick some great flowers and make you a vase full of his own choice just for you.

Don't be cheap, cause, well it's just that CHEAP!

You deserve the best in my eyes, your so deserving of so much more then that, Dana.

I wish you the biggest and best for you and your day. Hugs and kisses sending your way;)

My husband did that to me on christmas last year. He up-graded my diamond to my wedding ring and charged it to MY credit card. WFT?

I made him take it back, but they can't un-do the craftmanship, so I made him transfer it to his damn credit card and I'm sure it shamed the hell out of him when he had to explain it to the jeweler and the credit card company as to why.

Lu' said...

We only have "our" money. For us it isn't a problem. No doubt about it, if your household is run with a yours, mine and ours then a gift should have surely come from the gift givers private account. What a cheeseball!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

I had an "ours" account...not sure I would do that again though...

I have done some bazaar things in my life...but NEVER that!

Unknown said...

Wow. I can completely understand this.

Librarian Lee said...

creep

ambergail77 said...

That sucks. Can you tell him he should have asked you what flowers "you" wanted to buy for yourself. I mean you had to plan all the other birthday stuff, you surely could have picked those up while you were doing all the other stuff. Kind of makes me wonder if your family vacation came from the "ours" account, while your trip with Cam is probably coming from "your" account. Please tell me that once he was actually a thoughtful husband, and just hasn't been the same since the accident or something.

Real Live Lesbian said...

These people make me feel so "not nice." Frankly, what he did is just flat out shitty.

I'd shop for his birthday present out of his own closet. But, I'd WRAP it myself.

W2b said...

OK Dana- I know we just met, but at least you got something. I am not complaining about my hubby but he is horrible w/ stuff like that and if he was to take my money out of my wallet and buy me a piece of gum I think I would fall over dead!! But since I have read some of ur blog and comments I see there are issues and I wish you the best:)

Vixen said...

Um...yeah..... That lost major brownie points.