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Cam has ONE MORE DAY of middle school. I am relieved (to say the least) that we will no longer be required to be part of a school that has mishandled Cam's education on a grand scale.
I cannot begin to describe the anger and frustration I have towards the administrators AND staff who allowed Cam's 3rd grade reading comprehension level to go unnoticed for THREE years, choosing instead to believe Cam's behavior was due to environmental issues outside of the education environment.
To this day, Cam has NEVER been evaluated by the school district for learning disabilities. No, it was my gut feeling that although environmental factors might be contributing to Cam's school issues, they were not the only factor, that eventually gave us a clear picture of what was really going on with Cam.
It was thousands of dollars paid by out by my insurance company to a pediatric neuro-psychiatrist, and a month of countless unpaid work hours to transport Cam to twice weekly appointments that proved Cam had very real neurological issues that were the root cause of his inability to perform to expectations in the educational environment.
I cannot even imagine where Cam would be today - physically and emotionally - had I listened to the educators when my gut told me different. Had I not fought so hard for him on so many occasions. I often wonder what happens to kids like Cam whose parents don't have the financial resources nor the understanding of Special Education law that I have. It hurts my heart to consider it.
In these last few weeks of middle school, I've had to deal with the unfounded accusations of a very spiteful, and hateful, young girl made against Cam. I've had to face - head on - the rumors spread throughout this small, tight-knit community by this young girl, rumors that found their way to my workplace. I've had to stand by and watch this young girl's actions go unpunished, while I fought to give Cam the opportunity to finish out his middle school days with his peers.
I've had to compromise what I knew was right, for what I (and Cam) could live with these final eight days.
I've fought a Principal's attempt to "administratively remove" Cam - without documentation - from the middle school environment because it was easier than addressing the bullying issue of an 8th grade girl whose family is a prominent Podunk fixture.
I've complained endlessly about Cam's school on this blog, but there was one bright spot. A teacher who "got" Cam. A teacher who stepped up to the plate when no one else would and made a positive difference in Cam's life. A teacher I sent the following email to:
As often as I complain about what isn't right, I also attempt to acknowledge the efforts of someone who goes above and beyond what is expected. I did not anticipate hearing back from this teacher - I just wanted him to know what a difference he made for Cam, yet I received the following response:
... and I cried ...
I often wonder if advocating for Cam is doing more harm than good. I hear from some of my readers that they believe I am making excuses for him - teaching him there are no consequences for his actions - and I take that feedback in just as I do the feedback from the majority of you who have been supportive of my actions.
It was reassuring to receive validation from an educator who has had contact with Cam the entire school year. The only educator who took the time to allow Cam to be Cam and worked within that framework rather than insisting that if Cam "just tried harder" he'd fit that elusive neuro-typical mold.
One more day ...
Cam has ONE MORE DAY of middle school. I am relieved (to say the least) that we will no longer be required to be part of a school that has mishandled Cam's education on a grand scale.I cannot begin to describe the anger and frustration I have towards the administrators AND staff who allowed Cam's 3rd grade reading comprehension level to go unnoticed for THREE years, choosing instead to believe Cam's behavior was due to environmental issues outside of the education environment.
To this day, Cam has NEVER been evaluated by the school district for learning disabilities. No, it was my gut feeling that although environmental factors might be contributing to Cam's school issues, they were not the only factor, that eventually gave us a clear picture of what was really going on with Cam.
It was thousands of dollars paid by out by my insurance company to a pediatric neuro-psychiatrist, and a month of countless unpaid work hours to transport Cam to twice weekly appointments that proved Cam had very real neurological issues that were the root cause of his inability to perform to expectations in the educational environment.
I cannot even imagine where Cam would be today - physically and emotionally - had I listened to the educators when my gut told me different. Had I not fought so hard for him on so many occasions. I often wonder what happens to kids like Cam whose parents don't have the financial resources nor the understanding of Special Education law that I have. It hurts my heart to consider it.
In these last few weeks of middle school, I've had to deal with the unfounded accusations of a very spiteful, and hateful, young girl made against Cam. I've had to face - head on - the rumors spread throughout this small, tight-knit community by this young girl, rumors that found their way to my workplace. I've had to stand by and watch this young girl's actions go unpunished, while I fought to give Cam the opportunity to finish out his middle school days with his peers.
I've had to compromise what I knew was right, for what I (and Cam) could live with these final eight days.
I've fought a Principal's attempt to "administratively remove" Cam - without documentation - from the middle school environment because it was easier than addressing the bullying issue of an 8th grade girl whose family is a prominent Podunk fixture.
I've complained endlessly about Cam's school on this blog, but there was one bright spot. A teacher who "got" Cam. A teacher who stepped up to the plate when no one else would and made a positive difference in Cam's life. A teacher I sent the following email to:
Dear Mr. [teacher's name],
I just wanted to take a moment and thank you for you for your patience, understanding and dedication to Cam this year. I know that Cam isn't always an easy kid and I wanted you to know that I recognize and value the time you've spent working with him.
It would have been much easier to label him as a troublemaker - constantly battling his weaknesses and ignoring his strengths - but instead, you have dealt with the issues as they arise directly and fairly.
In an environment where Cam continually feels like a failure, you have stepped up not only as a teacher, but as a role model, counselor and confidant. You have become Cam's "safe haven" during a very difficult time. Thank you for all that you have done!
As often as I complain about what isn't right, I also attempt to acknowledge the efforts of someone who goes above and beyond what is expected. I did not anticipate hearing back from this teacher - I just wanted him to know what a difference he made for Cam, yet I received the following response:
I appreciate your email. Your son throughout this entire schoolyear has been nothing but respectful toward me. Although we both know he needs to do the work (one area where I have failed with him), he is always participating in my classroom and has always enjoyed being there. I wish you the best of luck with him next fall. Don't give up. Continue to push him to be his very best. Sometimes that light bulb will turn on in a student when you least expect it. Sometimes something like a new girlfriend or friend will light a fire up a kids butt. Sometimes maturity will do that. As he gets older, he will come to realize just how much his mother has done for him. It took me a long time to figure that out with my mom (I think I was about 21 when I really began to appreciate my mom). I am confident that in the future, all your hard work will pay off. Take care and good luck to you. Thanks again for the email. It does mean a lot to me.
... and I cried ...
I often wonder if advocating for Cam is doing more harm than good. I hear from some of my readers that they believe I am making excuses for him - teaching him there are no consequences for his actions - and I take that feedback in just as I do the feedback from the majority of you who have been supportive of my actions.
It was reassuring to receive validation from an educator who has had contact with Cam the entire school year. The only educator who took the time to allow Cam to be Cam and worked within that framework rather than insisting that if Cam "just tried harder" he'd fit that elusive neuro-typical mold.
One more day ...
~*~*~
10 comments:
I am sure that your email truly meant a lot to that teacher. Parents are quick to complain and criticize educators, but not always quick to thank. Cam is lucky to have you as an advocate and trusting your gut is usually the best way to act. Let's hope the next 4 years are easier!
Cam is lucky to have such a dedicated mother. And, like the teacher responded, it'll be a few years before he realizes how much you've done for him.
I hope I have the courage to stand up for my Little Dude like you have :)
Karen, my hope is that Cam finally has the resources to succeed. He will be attending a school that deals only with "square peg" kids and teaches them the skills they need to squish into the round hole!
Jay, this teacher really was phenomenal. He stood up for Cam when all of his other teachers (including spec ed teachers) had washed their hands of him. Teachers like that are so few and far between. I'm grateful he was a part of Cam's education.
Ms Undecided, hopefully your school district will be better at handling situations like this, and if not? You'll be strong - I know you will!
Good for you for emailing that teacher. We don't hear it enough. And having it in writing is an awesome thing...I always file away those letters! :) I am interested to read what happens next year for Cam.
Dana, I understand about the social issues in Podunk. As a kid from a poor farm family, I always felt like an outsider amongst the shakers and movers in my Podunk. But the support of my parents was always there, like yours for Cam.
Many years later, that kind of crap no longer bothers me, but kids in school just can't get away from it. Especially when there is serious bullying going on.
Keep fighting, he is worth it!!
TG
Advocating for Cam is not only a wonderful thing, but it's necessary as a parent because our minor children can't advocate for themselves. Keep up the good work!
That was nice to send a positive letter for efforts done. The ex and I always send those types of letters to Ryno's teachers and coaches when they do something good. Cheers Dana!!
Keep kicking ass on Cam's behalf! One day he'll appreciate it and he'll also acknowledge that you are the person responsible for teaching him all the stuff that he's proud to know. That's how it works for us "troublemakers". ;)
There is always a nice flower in a patch of weeds. How wonderful that Cam found the flower.
I have been told for years that I make excuses for my son. This week we found out that his visual - fine motor (meaning his ability to write with a pencil and paper) is 1% of the norm. I guess that explains a lot. At 22 he finally recovering from the damage done by the public school and he is a wonderful young man. You just have to be paitent and he will grow up to be able to advocate for himself and he will find his place in the world. It is a lot of work.
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