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I received the following email yesterday ...
Translated into non-educator speak ...
Have I mentioned lately that I am extremely frustrated with the public education system? That I had Cam evaluated independently and the results were that he is easy to engage and performing well above expectations for his age? That the school has gone to a "team" approach this year and placed kids in teams based upon their perception of their abilities, placing Cam in one of the lower performing groups, where the expectations for his success are also low? That I asked the teaching staff for help last year and was told they would do nothing to help me until/unless I had him labeled as special ed?
Yes ... it's going to be a fight. I will ask for an agenda for this meeting and will be told it is "informal" with no agenda. This is because they do not want me to be prepared - they do not want me to be able to challenge them. I will go, independent evaluation in hand, and be told the school cannot honor that - that they can only honor an evaluation done by their personnel. That an educational evaluation is "different" and the only guidance they will follow even though those conducting the educational evaluation will be far less qualified than the team that performed the independent evaluation.
I know far too much about this process. I know how the system works. I know that what they claim to be "in the best interest" of the student is nothing more than additional funding for the school and an excuse for them to not do the little things that would make all of the difference for Cam. I know that his behavior will be used as an excuse to not place him in more challenging classes, yet if he were to be in more challenging classes, his behavior would improve.
Yes ... it's going to be a fight ... one I get better and better at each and every time I fight it. One where I tell them that although they might hold a teaching degree, they do not know my son better than I do. One where I push back - HARD - and piss them all off ... once again.
Mrs. D:
On Friday, Cam brought home information about parent-teacher conferences. We are having some concerns with Cameron's progress and would like to schedule a full team 20 minute conference to discuss how we can address these concerns. Could you send back some times when you would have 20 minutes available on the conference dates so we can block out a 20 minute time slot? Thank you.
Mr. R
Translated into non-educator speak ...
Your son's performance is a problem and is reflecting poorly on us. We told you last year there was something wrong with him and you ignored us, so we are going to bombard you again this year - have you sit in a room with 7 teachers who will all tell you what a "loser" your son is (and thus, you are). We will make you cry and feel bad until you give in to our demands of having him evaluated and labeling him as a special education student. You will not tell us this is a problem with our teaching as we are professionals and we are never wrong.
Have I mentioned lately that I am extremely frustrated with the public education system? That I had Cam evaluated independently and the results were that he is easy to engage and performing well above expectations for his age? That the school has gone to a "team" approach this year and placed kids in teams based upon their perception of their abilities, placing Cam in one of the lower performing groups, where the expectations for his success are also low? That I asked the teaching staff for help last year and was told they would do nothing to help me until/unless I had him labeled as special ed?
Yes ... it's going to be a fight. I will ask for an agenda for this meeting and will be told it is "informal" with no agenda. This is because they do not want me to be prepared - they do not want me to be able to challenge them. I will go, independent evaluation in hand, and be told the school cannot honor that - that they can only honor an evaluation done by their personnel. That an educational evaluation is "different" and the only guidance they will follow even though those conducting the educational evaluation will be far less qualified than the team that performed the independent evaluation.
I know far too much about this process. I know how the system works. I know that what they claim to be "in the best interest" of the student is nothing more than additional funding for the school and an excuse for them to not do the little things that would make all of the difference for Cam. I know that his behavior will be used as an excuse to not place him in more challenging classes, yet if he were to be in more challenging classes, his behavior would improve.
Yes ... it's going to be a fight ... one I get better and better at each and every time I fight it. One where I tell them that although they might hold a teaching degree, they do not know my son better than I do. One where I push back - HARD - and piss them all off ... once again.
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33 comments:
I share your opinion of many professional educators. Fight hard and keep on fighting, and good luck!
I have crossed swords with "educators" and "school administators" many many times.
good luck...mama bear.
Good luck in your crusade against educational tyranny. I have been through the mill with one of my children. You are dealing with "experts"(people that know more and more about less and less).
By today's standards, Albert Einstein would have been classified as a special needs student.
As you stated, there is big money involved here.
We lost the fight against the system,my son went into some special ed school, he quit high school at 16. We taught him the best we could at home. Now this school system failure is 40 years old and retired.
Fight the good fight, Dana! Remember, you know your son far better than any of these "professionals" do. And remember, though they appear to be standing as a united front, keep one eye out for the *cough* maverick in the crowd who has a slightly more advanced view of this. Watch the body language. When you find that person, make them your ally.
This sounds so much like over here! All the schools are concerned about is where about they are in national school league table and just want good results at the expense of those childern who are not doing so well.
Fight the bugger Dana, we had to do the same for our son!
I was very fortunate that my mother fought for me. The middle school thought I needed "special attention" and she refused to back down. She even brought in a lawyer and the school finally had me re-tested. The end result? When I took my placement test for high school, my reading level was placed at "college level" and I met ALL literature requirements in just 2 years (4 years is mandatory). Get in touch with a lawyer who has experience with schools. Never give up.
Remember Dana, "those who can, can, those who can't, teach, and those who can't teach and have no morals, become a journalist or school administrator". It didn't use to be this way. Study after study shows a pattern of the best and brightest going into other professions not related to teaching. If you are in a school district where good school teachers are hired you are lucky. A teaching staff is only as good as the principals and administration. Bad administration people equals bad teachers. The good teachers go where they are appreciated. I think you are right. Cam needs to be in a group that brings him up to his full potential. Nolens volens is right find a good Pitbull/Lawyer and go to town on their ass. Look them all in the eye and tell them that a mind is a terrible thing to waste. And you won't have it happen to Cam. Every day kids lose their future in our educational systems. Not because of the kids, but because of the school system.
Good Luck with the meeting...I feel the need to email you. Cheers Dana!!
Give them hell and make them do what is right. My vote is on you.
Dana, I believe your concerns with school are valid. I don't think that parents should have to face a group of school folks alone! You need an advocate/mouthpiece to help deal with them.
TallGuy, I'll admit that fighting this battle for the past 7 years has been draining, but the other option is just plain unacceptable.
Kat, my experience has been that they play with the assumption of power on their side and become quite irritated when that power is challenged.
Richard, your story is one of my greatest fears. Thank you for sharing it with me!
Go get 'em, Tiger! You do know him best.
Volly, I hadn't even considered looking for the maverick. Excellent advise! Thank you!!
Mike, you mean this isn't an issue "owned" by the U.S.?? Actually, I'm sorry to hear that. Fortunately, this is not the first time I've been called in to one of these meetings, and I have no doubt that it won't be the last. Each one prepares me a bit better for the next!
Nolens Volens, I am open to seeing how this meeting goes, but know that my next step might very well be to contact an attorney.
Make them email you an agenda ahead of time. Aren't there written procedures they have to follow?
What specifically is worrying them?
Doomed, generally, we have an excellent group of teachers and I do live in one of the better school districts in Illinois, but they have continued to look at this situation from a "He can't" position rather than a "He can but he's not" position, and I find that extremely irritating. I've got documentation stating specifically that he does NOT belong in special education - that special education placement would be detrimental to his success - yet I know I will be told otherwise by the teaching staff.
Matt-Man, looking forward to the email!
Lu, when I finally decide to fight (it's that decision process that is long) I fight to win.
Nick, for some reason, all of these years later, it still feels like being sent to the principal's office.
RLL, there is nothing more frustrating than listing to a group of "educated" adults tell you that their teaching methods are valid for all kids - that any student failure must be just that - a STUDENT failure.
Turnbaby, since this is not a "formal" request for evaluation, but rather a special conference request during regularly scheduled conferences, they will refuse to forward an agenda (although I will request it anyway).
What concerns them is that I have a child who challenges "busy work." He has the ability to consistently score in the 85-100% range on tests without doing any of the classwork or homework. Unfortunately, classwork and homework account for 70% of his grade, so his A and B test marks are translating into failing grades for most of his classes.
Good luck. I wish I had someone like you in my corner when I had to fight.
I share your agony, but you knew that already.
Can you bring in your outside specialist with you to back you up? You'll have to pay them for their time, but it may be worth it. I did that, and it intimidated the "team" to see how prepared I was to fight them.
I hope Cam appreciates what you are going through for him.
Matt was also one like Cam. Did great on tests but never turned in homework, so my A student became a c and B student.
Eventually, you can only plead, cry, demand, scream, beat them senseless (not really) until they learn they must do their homework.
Good luck to you
Karen, call me any time! I'll be more than happy to give my bitchy input!
Biscuit, that will likely be the next step in the process. I've got specialists report, and will authorize him to speak with the teachers/staff, but a personal appearance might be necessary. You know this process all too well ...
Knight, I think Cam will appreciate it 20 years from now - when he has his own kids - when he realizes the constant battles.
Good Luck to you! I used to work in the special education department of a school district and I know how frustrated parents can get when the teachers won't listen! Keep fighting the fight and don't give up!
Good for you, Dana!
I'm dreading this experience and I think if someone tried to slap a label on my girls, I'd flip the fuck out and take them out of school all together and homeschool them to the best of my ability.
I'm endlessly conflicted on this because I kind of want them to have that "normal" experience of growing up w/ a group of friends and such. Yet, I'd love to be the one teaching them. At the same time though, I think kids need to leave the nest eventually.
I hope you give 'em hell at this 20 min team up against you conference!
Do a little investigation if you can. It is very possible that at least one of the team teachers has some of your views. If you talk to Cam about it- that will be the teacher who has the least 'problems' with him. It will be the class he enjoys the most. It will be because that teacher actually uses more than one method to get their information across. Fight the hard fight for your child. I am proud that you are standing up for his rights. Too many parents just don't care.
You GO Mama Bear!!! I applaud you on your calm (and correct) fighting sense. Only mothers really know their kids and therefore what is best for them and what will help them. I hope they will be open minded and hear at least a little bit of what you are telling them.
Bond, sounds like Cam and Matt have a lot in common ... and you're still sane, right??
AOG, and I do understand that there are limits as to what teachers can do for each individual child, but I so struggle with this "must have a label" concept.
FF, every child is different, and the majority make it through with just a bump or two rather than the mountain ranges I seem to have with Cam. Let's hope your experience - should you go the public school route - is far better than mine!
Ugh. Good luck and stay strong. You seem to have a very good head on your shoulders and know what you are expecting of them. *hugs*
The public education system is really scary for the kids who need it to work the most. My wife is in school getting her master's in education and after recieving a master's in english first, she would be the first one to tell you how screwed up things are and how terrible the educator's of the future educators are.
You get them Dana...
I mean, who better to know what Cam really needs than you?
Let us know how it turns out.
As my good man black put it,"those who can, teach, those who can't, coach P.E."
I hate I.E.P. meetings and usually avoid them if I can. There is always that one teacher who gets on their bitch cycle and won't admit they have nothing engaging going on in their class. Writes referrals for dumb ass reasons, like didn't bring a book or pencil. REALLY! a damn pencil!
When a teacher writes a referral they are basically admitting, they don't have the ability to fix or handle this.(fights, no choice)
Fight on Dana! Make sure the teachers have engaging lessons and class expectations, measured by grading rubrics of performance, not personality.
Oh great. You gotta go battle it out with bureaucrats! Have fun with that.
I went through some of this last year and was told my child is exceptionally bright but needs help with social skills. Basically, they pointed out what we all know about "smart/geeky" kids... they're loners, focussed and driven.
When I shared this with friends I wasn't heard, not really. "Oh, my son this... or oh but she'll be fine." was all I got. Not helpful.
I'm trying to help her in those skills while encouraging her focus.
When a parent worries, their instincts are right. When a parent doesn't, and they are as involved and aware as you are... there rarely IS something to worry about.
Good luck taking them on. Sounds like in your school district they should have Ombudsmen for kids and families.
Sorry this was a long comment... guess it hit a nerve.
Fight the good fight Dana! HUGS!
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