When the creative juices are running low (I hate it when that happens, but they've got lube for that) and you can't think of anything entertaining to blog about, there is always the tying up of
First, I found out that a dear friend of mine lost his father yesterday. This was not unexpected - his father had suffered a stroke and had been in hospice care for some time - but I can't imagine this makes the loss any easier. If you are so inclined, please send some positive, healing and comforting thoughts for him and his family towards Chicago.
His loss makes me question my own relationship with both of my parents and whether there is any way I can make it better than it currently is, even with the wretched history we have, and still maintain a bit of personal integrity. The reality of their mortality is something I can no longer ignore, however building some sort of positive relationship with either of them seems an insurmountable task at times. I love my parents, but feel a great need to protect myself - and my son - from their destructive behaviors.
Second, I had a bizarre phone call at 11:30 Monday night. My phone never rings after 9 PM, so when it woke me out of a deep sleep, I immediately thought something terrible had happened to someone. Fortunately, that wasn't the case. Instead, the person on the phone was looking for someone I lived with 20 years ago. According to the story, her sister is the half-sister of this former flame of mine, and the half-sister is on her deathbed wanting to make amends with family members (are you following this?). Now mind you, it's been at least 15 years since I've had any contact with this man, and I don't know if this woman's story is true or not, but I find it just a little disturbing that my name (which has changed TWICE since I lived with this man) is still associated with him in some manner. Creepy ...
Last but not least, for anyone concerned, things on the home front remain "stable." I'm doing my best to keep a low profile (it's amazing how much energy that takes) and husband is on his best behavior. I've seen this cycle too many times in my life to let myself consider that it is a permanent change and I continue with my contingency plan.
Oh, one more thing ...
Today is The Great American Grump Out. A day that "since 2002 has encouraged people of all ages, all over the world, to be playful and respectful and designates one day each year to encourage people all over the United States to go twenty-four hours without being grumpy, crabby, or rude." Good luck with that one!!
28 comments:
First of all, when you say "juices", creative or otherwise, makes me tingle.
And I know how hard keeping calm and stable in a relationship can be.
Lastly, I thought my story about the half sister thing was the only way I could hear your voice without you calling the police on me. Cheers Dana!!
A day without a single grump, on hump day nonetheless... hmmm. How are we supposed to live if he can't experience the day-to-day emotions?
I'll take a rain check on grump out day. As my friend Travis would say, I am currently Ms Cranky Pants.
Sent good vibes for your friend (those really do work - thanks again for that). I know first hand that even when you are expecting the end, it isn't any easier.
Matt-Man, I know I was groggy and a bit confused by the phone call, but I'd have never guessed your voice was that high!
6%, I think you could probably make it 24 hours without being grumpy, crabby, or rude - you can have all of the other emotions!
Miss Cranky Pants (*giggle), thanks for the vibes, and the laugh!
The grumpy thing won't work for me today because I AM grumpy to myself for being an idiot and hurting my shoulder to the point where I have to put this whole week on washout.
Glad to hear things are *stable* Some people can *fake it* for years, my parents did till the last child left home.
You know, that you HAVE to make some sort of ammends to your parents, because if you don't and they pass, that just might hurt for many years to come. Before my dad got sick and passed, I got the greatest gift from myself, by telling him I loved him. He got all choked up and cried. [I had a little leakage too] My brothers weren't that lucky and they feel it still.
I haven't seen or spoken to my dad since 2004. Sometimes I think I should sit down and write him a letter, just to say that I did it.
I haven't been crabby or grumpy at all today. Surprised?
Sure...Leighann, in your own Magic Nation. LOL
Micky, I don't really enjoy faking it, but it is getting me through right now. I equate faking it to fence sitting - I'm not a fan of either.
My parents? I'd love to argue with you but I know you are right.
Leighann, if you write him a letter, I think it should be because you want to, not so that you can say you did! Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS on the anti-grump!
I'm not sure I agree with the "you have to" gig - b/c you don't have to, and you will get over it somehow. That said, I think there is demand for forgiveness, real forgiveness. But forgiving doesn't mean you must expose yourself to danger and hurt. You set your boundaries; physical and emtional.
It does take so much energy to keep a low profile because it requires diligence. So much easier to be in the moment.
Parents, I vote for maintaining distance from the destructive behavior at least for the time being. Why heap more crap upon yourself at this tumultuous time in your home life. I *heart* Grumpy :(
So far I haven't been grumpy. We'll see how long that lasts when I pick up my children. At least it wasn't last week cause I was seriously PMSingly bitchy!
Glad to hear things are calm. Even if everyone's pretending it makes life a little easier.
I'm totally confused about the phone call thing. But, I like being confused. I'm comfortable there. ;-)
I wish I had known about the great American grump out before I got stuck behind that idiot wanting to turn left at a super busy intersection earlier today. I mean seriously, she could have turned right and driven to California and turned around and come back and gotten to her destination faster!
Okay, I'm calm. ;-)
I've received too mnay weird calls for people I haven't seen in years. It is indeed creepy.
I'm going to start talking in a funny accent when I answer the phone :)
I have had some interesting phone calls from people looking for relatives, but that sounds strange.
I was going to be grumpy today, but now I will work hard to be cheery. Thanks for the warning.
I can`t help but to be grumpy, my kids got me a mug which i use every day and it has this written on the side........Grumpy Old Man!
oh and they got me a teeshirt with the same wording on it! Are they trying to tell me something? lol
Lee, it's a fine line though, isn't it?
Lu, you have a point there, the issue is that we just never know how much time we (or they) have.
Apple, just say "NO!" to Grumpy!
Jay, maybe you could try for the anti-grump tomorrow?? Or will you have to drive then too?? *wink*
Hammer, I'm glad I'm not the only one. I guess this would be the downside of the information age?
Karen, your teeth are no excuse!
Mike, but that saying is supposed to put a smile on your face! Either that or they really are trying to tell you something!
Ciaran failed at that one 20 seconds after he got up. LOL I, however, am never grumpy or rude so it's never a problem for me. ;)
I'm never rude, seldom grumpy or crabby... I do get a bit depressed though...
That is a little creepy, how your name would pop up after that long. And, depressing for someone to lie on her death-bed wanting to make amends with family members they obviously haven't spoken to in over 15 years.
And, send some of my good vibes your friends way. I know what it's like to lose a father... it takes a long time to get back after that.
Happy Grump-Free day!
Since I didn't know it was Grump Free Day do I get a pass? I've been very grumpy all day and I can't shift gears that fast.
I haven't been grumpy at all. I'm usually not anyway.
I once received an email from someone claiming they know me from the 70's... that I apparently sold them some "herbs" back then. He was quite insistant on it. Come to find out there is someone else with the same name. I found out her contact information and told the guy. He finally left me alone! I'm not sure how he got my information. Oh well, Herbs 'R US is about everywhere these days!
Dana, I`m sitting here with a smile on my face so i know it works lol
There hasn't been a day I haven't been grumpy since 1968 so count me out. Everyone would think they are dying or something if I was nice to them anyway.
Tali, I'm thinking you got that one backwards!
Buff, depression is an entirely different beast!
R.E.H., although my blog might not indicate it, I actually have some "issues" surrounding being anonymous. That call really creaped me out!
Dianne, you can have a pass only if you promise to be grump free tomorrow.
6%, unfortunately, this person had some information that proved to me that I was the person she was looking for.
Mike, I knew you weren't really grumpy!
Christine, you couldn't manage just one grump-free day in all of those years?
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