Suicide, Warm Thoughts. Part 2

You can find Part 1 of this story by clicking [HERE]

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It was November of 1988 when we headed north to Minnesota. Not the best time to make a trip north, but at this point it was a necessity. We loaded what little we had left into the back of my Isuzu pick-up truck and rented a small U-Haul trailer for the rest of it. We left the apartment in the middle of the night, skipping out on our obligations.

The drive was difficult at best. The three of us (“A”'s little brother came with us) were packed together in the Isuzu, and we were all going through drug withdrawals. About 5 hours into the trip we considered turning around and heading back. At least we knew who to get drugs from in San Diego. Maybe we could just cut back a little bit on the meth until we could quit. Maybe we could still make things work in San Diego. We knew better, so stopped at the next liquor store, picked up a couple of 40's and continued driving. Alcohol would be our way to cope.

We drove and drank – drank and drove. Hours and hours, miles and miles, until we finally crossed into Minnesota. We were all tired, hungry, crabby and a little too sober. I found it odd that “A” insisted we actually drive into a little town in Wisconsin – on the Wisconsin/Minnesota border – rather than finding a place to stay in Minnesota. Months later I would discover why this was so important.

Super 8 was the first motel we came to after crossing the Wisconsin state line. We, checked in, asking for the weekly rate. We had a plan. We would use the motel for temporary housing – maybe a week or two – until we could secure jobs and find a place to rent. Unfortunately, it was another plan doomed to fail. None of us had resumes or local references – not even a permanent address.

Against those odds, little brother secured a bus boy position at the local Perkin's Restaurant within a week and a half of our arrival. We had been looking at places to rent and we knew we could save enough for a deposit on a place with just two of little brother's paychecks. It had been 10 days since anyone had done any meth. Sure, we we drinking a lot of alcohol, but that was different. We were all certain we were on track for success.

At the two week mark of our Super 8 stay, we were told the credit card company would not authorize any additional charges on the credit card. We needed to check out the following morning. We had no where to go and no money to rent a place. We checked out of the hotel the next day in a bit of a panic.

We settled on sleeping in the truck at the nearby rest stop until we could come up with a place to stay. At least the rest stop was safe and had restrooms. We still had money for gas and food – the local gas station wasn't preauthorizing the credit card for charges so they weren't aware that charges were actually being declined. The drawback? November in Minnesota is COLD. Sleeping in the truck was not only uncomfortable for the three of us, but nearly impossible for any longer than an hour at a time. After an hour, the cold would wake us and we'd have to start the truck again to get warm. It was yet another “bottom” and one that I could help us out of.

We found a house in town that was available to rent. While discussing the terms of the lease with the landlord, we found we would need $600 to move in. My family had no idea the direction my life had taken. I didn't talk to them often, and when I did I was very vague about what was happening. I couldn't fathom the idea of asking either of my parents for help. Instead, I decided to call my aunt – one of my mom's sisters that I was quite close to – to see if she'd be willing to help.

I went to a pay phone and made the collect call. I briefly explained the details, leaving out those that were alarming enough that she might feel compelled to share them with my mother. She was able to help and wired the money to the local Western Union office the next day. We would be able to take immediate possession of the rental house as soon as we had the cash. One more cold, frequently interrupted night's sleep in the truck and we would have a “home” to start our new lives in.