I don’t know about the rest of my female readers (I already know how my male readers feel about this - or at least I think I do), but I believe with my whole heart and soul that bras are evil. I think I'd rather have my eyelashes pulled out one at a time than spend $50-$100 on a piece of clothing that just never quite does what it is supposed to do. Being in the over 40 crowd, keeping the boobies looking perky has become
But here is the problem. About 30 minutes after I put the bra on, and move my arms more than say ... a millimeter or two to sip my coffee, I look like this:
See the boobie bulge? WTF is that all about? It's like I've started growing a second set of tits on top of the ones I already have. Not cool!
Now, before you say, "Well, you clearly have the wrong size bra," understand that I have been measured no less than 3 times over the past 4 months, in three separate stores (Victoria's Secret, Carson's and Macy's) by "professional bra fitting experts" (and no RockDog, I don't know where you go to school for that job). They have all agreed that I am a 36DD. The bra in the pics? Yep! A 36DD.
Now, others have said that maybe I'm buying the wrong style bra. For some reason, any woman wearing anything above a C cup is encouraged to buy a minimizer bra. Hello? I kind of like my boobies! Cleavage is a good thing! Why the hell would I want to minimize my tits? Do they make minimizer jock straps? I think not!
We can breed piglets whose snouts glow in the dark, but we can't engineer a bra that keeps boobies looking perky, shows off the cleavage and yet doesn't give us alien quad-tits after 30 minutes of wear?
And guys, so sorry for the bra rant. Next time maybe I’ll give you tips on how to unfasten a bra with one hand, in the dark, after a few brewskies and without getting pissed off!
31 comments:
"Cleavage is a good thing!"
Hell yeah it is!
I had no idea there was such a job in the world as "professional bra fitting experts". I finally know what I want to be when I grow up! ;-)
Dear God...My girlfriend complains about the same thing and so do most women I know. Is a well-fitting bra so hard to make? C'mon bra guys. Hire a 14 year old Cambodian boy to stitch together something that fits the ladies!! Cheers and good luck containing the girls Dana!!
Jay, so glad I could help you out with career counseling!
Matt, you'd think with all of us bitching and moaning, some guy would get tired of hearing it and step up to the plate!
My wife has the same complaint, I too complain about the damn PRICE!
BUT I did step up to the plate and offered my wife my services,"Al's double handed titty holding service". She then showed me her new service,"Laurie's single handed nut cracking service".
Al, I'm telling you, bras don't fit anyone! To hell with the 9/11 conspiracy, someone needs to look in to this!
Maybe by "minimizer bra" they refer to minimizing the second set boobies? ;)
They usually say the more the merrier, but I think two titties on one woman is all that I want.
Don't wear one on my account! Breasts are one of the few things that are pure good...
REH, this time I'm with you. Quad tits are just ... well ... wrong!
Buf, if there was any way I could get away with it, I'd never wear one!
I think the blue shirt is getting in the way for me to fully examine what the problem is. Kindly post pictures without that obstruction please!
Ha ha ha ha ha I have the same problem!
That is why I have taken to wearing damn sports bras for my 41 year old saggy titties. I'm a D cup and can never find any normal bras that fit right.
BTW,nice rack! :o)
Jeff, I'm so sorry to have distorted the issue. But I have to tell you, the problem looks FAR more severe without the shirt on. I'm not sure you really want to see that.
PP, see?? I thought maybe I had weird tits, but then I noticed I wasn't the only one - not that I look at women's tits ... much ...
This is a great one. I too, have the four boob problem on occasion. Sadly, the best defense of this problem (for me anyway) are two different bras. One, a nursing bra. I still pull one out every now and again when wearing a t-shirt. They have all those glorious snaps that hold me and lift me up like Jane Mansfield. The problem-not very sexy. The other bra I purchased at Fredericks many years ago, and I can't bear to part with it. It is like a demi cup, so it just covers the nipple, but has extra strap-like pieces that come up from the outside edges and the center up to the actual shoulder straps, forming a little triange-ish shape above the boobies. The result- great boobies with a little extra bounce, but not too much that they pop out. Of course, I do prefer to go without the bra, but after 2 kids, breastfeeding, and being a 40dd, it just doesn't happen too often.
Please do not slip in my drool...I'll clean it up when I leave...
Were there words in this post???
Dana, I enjoyed this bra rant so much, could I suggest a PANTY RANT next? With pictures of course!
I can see now I should measure your bust. I am a pro at bust measurements and its obvious to me I should be the one to tell you your size
hehe
great breasteses
How did I miss this yesterday?
Ummmm, I am sorry you are having this problem. I am no professional bra fitting expert but maybe a bustier??
Amber, I just can't bring myself to put a nursing bra on. Boobies should be a bit fleshy and bouncy - not bound tight to the chest. I'm on the hunt for the perfect bra.
RockDog, was that drool??
Al, I've had *much* better luck with panty fit, but I might be able to help out for the betterment of society.
SS, so you qualify as a "professional bra fitting expert" do you?
Doc, maybe you were preoccupied with other things?
I have a lot of experience and I am willing to offer a lot of support in this matter I am a very hands on sort of guy.
Rant away all you want about tities and bras. I'll always be here to listen. I'm just sensitive in that way. ;)
DB, maybe that's the problem - all of the "professional bra fitters" seemed to be more interested in the tale of the tape measure.
Corky, thank you so much for your sympathetic ear. And here I thought the men would be bored with this topic.
It's not just you. I'm a 40DD and I have the EXACT same poppage.
Funny thing being with another woman, it drives HER nuts, too! So it's annoying BOTH of us.
I wish I had a solution...but like you, these puppies NEED A BRA to look good.
And for the guys wishing to hold 'em up. Your hands aren't big enough for DDs! ;)
Dana, I posted a picture yesterday that might just solve your problem!
*snicker*
I came back to see if there had been any update.... ;-)
RLL, I am so comforted in knowing that this happens to all women, but why does it happen to all women??
Leighann, it would certainly solve one problem, but create a whole NEW set of problems at the same time!
Doc, are you waiting for the "unplugged" version??
Dearest I have the same issue, and hell when I lose weight guess what shrink the boobs, and then the bras fit worse...and as Lane Bryant is the only place I can buy a bra....I always spend $35 or more to get one. My bra rant this week, the cleavage seem of one came apart this week....leaving no support. Thankfully I still have a nice supply of bras on hand.
I have fund no good answers, unless you wish to tape your breasts to the bra.
Hey NICE TITS!!!!
I can comment again!! :)
Penelope, I'm starting to think that the bra manufacturers figure out ways to design bras just so this will happen!
G-Man, whew! Just when I was worried there wouldn't be any "NICE TITS" comments!
GMan sent me, since we're the same size and all.
I was told by the bra fitters that boobie bulge is caused by having your straps too tight.
So, if you loosen the straps, your boobs fall comfortably into the correct slots.
HOWEVER, they're not so perky any more.
Bleh. Good bras that are comfortable for big boobs and put them where they belong are the ugly ones. You'll never see that on a VS commercial.
It is our curse for curves. Battle on, sister!!
I've spent a lot of money on bras and very little money... these days I buy a particular style of sports bra at Wal Mart that mostly works for me. It's sort of a more traditional bra style but industrial strength. I've never been professionally fitted (I have space issues). I try them on till I like the way it fits.
"Pretty" bras only look pretty in certain very short-term situations anyway.
If you solve this though, let me know.
Wellllll having been here before, I feel this is something I can be of "expert" level on LOL! I myself was measured at a 36 DD - however, I popped myself down into a fabulous $54 bra from the Secret that is a 38D - it has gel pack inserts because one boob is a D and one boob is a DD - so, I take out the pack in the DD side so they BOTH are DD in the "end result". However, before this eventful day (epiphany) I had the boobie bubble too. It was the "cut" of the bra, not so much the size....... you have to find the bra that does the support underneath to keep em from saggin out to the knees, while the cup cut that doesn't choke the bitches off (giving you the boobie bubble). Now I own 4 of the "best bras ever" that also happen to be strapless convertibles too allowing me to get more miles from my money. Soooooooo needless to say...... how abouts checking the cup "style" over the size!!
PS: stay away from those "demi" cups...they da devil with the boobie bubble issue...
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