14 January 2008

The End of an Era


Tomorrow is the day that I voluntarily end my child-bearing years. I do this with mixed emotions.

On one hand, the thought of sex without concern for an "OOPS" baby (if I conceived today, I'd be almost 45 years old with a newborn - can't think of anything much more terrifying) is almost orgasmic. On the other hand, it's kind of sad to finally make that decision that I'm just too damn old to be birthing any more babies.

My "baby" will be TWELVE in a little over a month. Six more years and he'll graduate from high school. Ninety days after that he'll either be heading off to college, or getting a job and moving out. Those have been the rules since day one and all three kids (one of whom is already in college) have heard it at least weekly all of their lives. Six years and I can sell the house, buy a motor home and travel the NASCAR circuit *gigglesnort*! Now why would I even consider another eighteen year obligation?

The truth is that I wouldn't - but knowing that I wouldn't, and knowing that I couldn't, even if I wanted to, are completely different things. I don't know, maybe it's a little of that good old chick logic, but it makes sense to me!

Anyone want to toast my fallopian tubes before they are severed??? I have until midnight to partake in the fine, distilled spirits!

Oh, one more really important thing ('cause this other thing isn't really important)! I "won" a Golden Spork Award! Now, I'd like to say that this has something to do with my profound wisdom and amazing writing abilities, but if the truth be known, Tink has pity for those of us new to her blog and gives us the "Great New Find" Spork Award just for showing up! Thanks Tink!!

20 comments:

R.E.H. said...

Congrats on being a "New Find"!

I could never go through with a vasectomy... of course I wouldn't because I don't have any kids yet, and I do want one or two.

But, I mean, even if I had the product of my genes wandering the face of the earth already, and didn't feel like contaminating the world with any more of those poor souls - I could not make that decision which cannot be reversed, should my mind change.

Sorry for saying that, but I'm sure you've thought your decision through, and that you are comfortable with it.

Of course, my feelings may very well be on account of the fact that I don't have kids.

Dana said...

r.e.h., it's interesting that you say that because my husband - who assures me he wants no more children - no doubt in his mind - refuses to get a vasectomy!

buffalodick said...

Huge step, but one we all must take-you are done breeding... Take your next step in life with anticipation! Or get shoved down the stairwell.. You're going anyway- and it doesn't mean you aren't attractive, wrong, or old! It ain't bad- trust The Buf...

Jay said...

I think that for most men the opposition to a vasectomy has more to do with being opposed to having ANYONE with a KNIFE getting near his boys. I have no desire to have kids. I know I would be a shitty father. At least I'm pretty sure I would be.

But, I'v never really thought about getting the big V either. Well, actually I have considered it. But, haven't done anything other than a little online research.

Dana said...

Buf, I think I'll take that next step with anticipation. I'm so old I'd probably break my hip in the fall down the stairwell!

Jay, I think that's just something us women don't get. I'm thinking he just has a doctor's office visit with a little novicaine. I'm going in to a surgical suite under general anesthesia for goodness sakes. Ah, but the boys will be safe, won't they?

Anonymous said...

golly you are OLD!!!!!!
Hehe
Congrats on the award and the new found no ooops freedom!

Anonymous said...

Cheers to your tubes!

I'm keeping mine until they rot and fall from my body.

Dana said...

SS, old enough to have had an entire collection of LP's that I bought new!

PP, thanks! I'm on my final hours now!

Jeff B said...

I can't believe I'm the only man to comment so far that has had a vasectomy. I had it done last year at my doctors office. Start to finish I was out of the office in about an hour. Typical guy I guess, we always finish faster than the woman.

Come on ya chicken shits, it's not as bad as you've heard. No days or weeks of pain. Would I put in the top ten things I'd like to do again? No, but It's a much easier proceedure for a man than a woman's tubal ligation.

Yeah, there's some emotional weirdness of knowing your not going to be able to have any more kids, but trust me it's quickly replaced with the relief of knowing you won't be having any more kids.

(For the record, I love my kids, I'm just sayin')

Doc said...

I am sorry that I missed this and was too late to "toast" your tubes... So instead I will propose a toast to the worry-free sex you will now be able to have. I hope that the procedure goes well.

And come pay me a visit on your NASCAR tour. I am 8 miles from Lowes motor Speedway.

Schmoop said...

If I had known this yesterday I would have toasted your tubes with champagne, but now, as it is 5:35 on Tuesday morning, I will have to settle for some whiskey in my coffee. Happy Tubing. cheers Dana!!

captain corky said...

It takes a lot of guts to make a decision like that. I hope you get some pain Killers in your goody bag when you come home.

Leighann said...

My husbands vasectomy was the best thing he's ever gotten for me! *giggle*

Seriously after 5 pregnancies, 1 ending in a miscarriage, I'd been through enough. It was his turn to have his naked ass up on the cold exam table.

I even got to watch the procedure!!

Leighann said...

btw.... I hope all goes well. Give me a call if you're feeling up to it!

Christo Gonzales said...

wowwee what is a big step thats happening today ....too late to say dont do it I guess...

buffalodick said...

I left out- My last kid was so ugly, my wife and I both got fixed! Butta-boom! Truth be told, I had the square knot tied, after we were sure two kids(boys) is what we wanted. Two years later, wife was having hormone problems- which after a time, I told her- see a doctor or a lawyer. Doc was right- all went much better for us. Don't worry, you will feel better about this!

Real Live Lesbian said...

Cheers to you, Sweetie!

And remember...there are no oopses in the lesbian world!

Dana said...

Jeff, now that the deed is done, I'm feeling MUCH more along the lines of "the relief of knowing you won't be having any more kids."

Doc, if you're still there in six years, I'll invite you to Lowes Motor Speedway!

Matt-Man, what a coincidence! That's what I'm having for breakfast too!

Dana said...

Corky, although they gave me the good stuff, the pain hasn't been enough to justify more than recreational use.

Leighann, all went well and I feel RENEWED! ... or is that horny?

DB, I shed a few tears on the way to the hospital, but felt a huge sense of relief afterwards!

Dana said...

Buf, you were absolutely right! I felt better the moment I woke up. It was really the apprehention that caused the worry.

RLL, where were you when I decided it was best to go the "traditional" family route?