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I don't know that I've ever sat down and blogged about why I blog, but recent comments and events indicate it might be time.
Now, there will be a handful of you who claim I am lying - who feel you can "see through me" - who are convinced you know me better than I know myself.
Pompous assholes ... every last one of you.
... and there goes my vow against name-calling ...
I blog for many reasons, but there are three primary reasons I blog.
I blog for validation/attention
Let's get the ugly one out of the way. I blog for the comments - the interaction with the reader. Of course that means that I occasionally have to deal with this kind of crap (marked as SPAM when posted to my Do Something post):
Blogging for attention/validation means I may lose FOURTEEN blog followers when I go on a "Piss the Readers Off" week blogging binge. Why yes! Yes I did!
Fortunately, 99.5267984% of my commenters are logical, intelligent, funny, caring people, and having the opportunity to interact with all of you is the primary reason I blog.
I blog to clear my head
It's therapeutic and a hell of a lot cheaper than my $30 co-pay for mental health services.
I grew up in a home that required I keep secrets. There was constant pressure to keep up the appearance of the family. I was taught to stuff all things that could make the family "look bad", all of the negative feelings, suck it up, be tough, put a smile on my face, and never let anyone know the turmoil in my own head and heart.
Fuck that.
Secrets are destructive. In my life, "privacy" has been an excuse for continued wrong-doing. Sure, I occasionally embarrass myself with what I say here and I make myself vulnerable to people who define their own value by how much better they can feel about themselves because they would "never do that," but at least I'm not pretending to be something I'm not.
I process life events through words. I need to talk it out. Sometimes I need to talk both sides out and I come across as hypocritical, and sometimes? I'm just hypocritical ... but at least I can see that.
I don't have a relationship in my life that allows this kind of interaction. Not my parents. Not a BFF (some day, when I grow up, I want a BFF). Not a spouse. No siblings. I've managed to isolate myself quite well. Y'all are my sounding board.
I blog to change my mind
What?? How can that be??
It's true! I've been known to post an opinion on this blog that isn't really my opinion, or that maybe I'm a bit wishy-washy on. I want to hear both (or more) sides of the argument so I throw it out here and see where y'all go with it.
There have been times when I was so certain I was right, but opening my mind - and my blog - has allowed me to see a side of things I hadn't considered.
As opinionated as I am (and I am), I am also quite reasonable and responsive to logic ... usually ...
Why do you blog? Why do you comment on other blogs?
I don't know that I've ever sat down and blogged about why I blog, but recent comments and events indicate it might be time.Now, there will be a handful of you who claim I am lying - who feel you can "see through me" - who are convinced you know me better than I know myself.
Pompous assholes ... every last one of you.
... and there goes my vow against name-calling ...
I blog for many reasons, but there are three primary reasons I blog.
I blog for validation/attention
Let's get the ugly one out of the way. I blog for the comments - the interaction with the reader. Of course that means that I occasionally have to deal with this kind of crap (marked as SPAM when posted to my Do Something post):
fifty cents a day - for fifty cents a day (paypal) I might shut up - give me fifty cents a day and you and your wrecked train can cheer and wreck all over the place and I wont come back - but dont miss a payment - if not I am gonna keep on coming here for free - the the toilet that just wont flush! THIS IS REAL.Yeah ... this shit does not elicit discussion, but there will always be "haters", especially if you are a blogger who puts it out there, including unpopular opinions.
Posted by doggybloggy to Amid Life's Crises at October 7, 2010 9:26 PM
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ALL of your readers? isnt that a stretch to call these four or five people ALL? cute kinda in a train wreck sort of way - and if you do jump off a bridge is is really MY fault?
Posted by doggybloggy to Amid Life's Crises at October 8, 2010 8:23 AM
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delete all of my comments not just the recent ones...
Posted by doggybloggy to Amid Life's Crises at October 8, 2010 9:11 AM
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we are getting gone stop closer to you shutting this train wreck down or going private ---I SAID - DELETE ALL MY COMMENTS NOT JUST THE RECENT ONES -
Posted by doggybloggy to Amid Life's Crises at October 8, 2010 9:46 AM
Blogging for attention/validation means I may lose FOURTEEN blog followers when I go on a "Piss the Readers Off" week blogging binge. Why yes! Yes I did!
Fortunately, 99.5267984% of my commenters are logical, intelligent, funny, caring people, and having the opportunity to interact with all of you is the primary reason I blog.
I blog to clear my head
It's therapeutic and a hell of a lot cheaper than my $30 co-pay for mental health services.
I grew up in a home that required I keep secrets. There was constant pressure to keep up the appearance of the family. I was taught to stuff all things that could make the family "look bad", all of the negative feelings, suck it up, be tough, put a smile on my face, and never let anyone know the turmoil in my own head and heart.
Fuck that.
Secrets are destructive. In my life, "privacy" has been an excuse for continued wrong-doing. Sure, I occasionally embarrass myself with what I say here and I make myself vulnerable to people who define their own value by how much better they can feel about themselves because they would "never do that," but at least I'm not pretending to be something I'm not.
I process life events through words. I need to talk it out. Sometimes I need to talk both sides out and I come across as hypocritical, and sometimes? I'm just hypocritical ... but at least I can see that.
I don't have a relationship in my life that allows this kind of interaction. Not my parents. Not a BFF (some day, when I grow up, I want a BFF). Not a spouse. No siblings. I've managed to isolate myself quite well. Y'all are my sounding board.
I blog to change my mind
What?? How can that be??
It's true! I've been known to post an opinion on this blog that isn't really my opinion, or that maybe I'm a bit wishy-washy on. I want to hear both (or more) sides of the argument so I throw it out here and see where y'all go with it.
There have been times when I was so certain I was right, but opening my mind - and my blog - has allowed me to see a side of things I hadn't considered.
As opinionated as I am (and I am), I am also quite reasonable and responsive to logic ... usually ...
Why do you blog? Why do you comment on other blogs?
~*~*~
28 comments:
You blog because you can! It's a free country, well mostly it is besides the taxes. When I find a blog I don't like. I just don't come back. I wonder why people who don't like you keep coming back and commenting. If someone doesn't visit your blog, you don't exist for them. Kind of like if a tree falls in the forest does it make a noise if nobody is in the forest. If blogging makes you happy, then I am happy for you.
I blog/read others because I kind of enjoy the sense of communtity that I have found here... Well and because I like to laugh too.
I started my blog because Veronica already had one that I occasionally co-authored posts on. After a while there were days when there was something I wanted to say and didn't want to take over her blog, so I started my own.
The interaction with readers and the friendships that have developed are a big reason why I still blog.
Apparently DoggyBloggy isn't smart enough to realize that s/he can delete his/her own comments...
we're doomed, I have wondered for YEARS why I have two particular commenters who feel my blog should be forced to go private and/or be shut down. I honestly don't get it. I choose to blog - they choose to be assholes *shrugs*
Doc, there have been times when I have been ASTOUNDED by the sense of community in blogging - how people who have never met can step up and make a positive impact on someone's life. And we should probably all laugh a little more ...
Hubman, sometimes it's difficult to find "like minded" people depending on where you are in life. Blogging seems to be a way to reach out and find that.
Yeah ... I figured if DoggyBloggy wanted more of his comments removed, he could put in the legwork to delete them - or better yet - stop leaving them :)
I assume that I will also be marked as spam, but I am just confused as to why you delete his comments only to come back and make a post about them. Is it just so that you can be in control?
I find it very sad that you do not have a BFF, I can't imagine how lonely that must be..
snugs, I delete comments that are off topic or contain threats. Both of those were true with that comment thread.
Do I repost them here for control? Absolutely!
Doggy has his own blog. He will no longer use mine for his grandstanding. If he wants to address how he has been "wronged" by me, he can do it in his little corner of the blogging world - not here - not any longer.
As far as the BFF goes? It is unfortunate, but a situation I've contributed to.
I love your blog. I think it is increadibly entertaining and I've been reading it for years. It's entertaining because you open yourself up and it's for that same reason that you get these odd stalkers that harass you. It's flattering really.
I blog because it gets shit out of my head and I love the community. I've met some really amazing people online. I've met some real douchebags too but I find if you don't feed their starved attention they die off.
I started webloging to create a little place for all my "remember the time" stories by kids have heard too many times...and as sort of a virtual scrapbook of photos.
It quickly evolved into (like yours) a place to articulate my thoughts into words...which is (for me also) not only cathartic but organizing. My thoughts need quite a bit of organization.
The down side for me was not the strangers who read/comment...but the people who I know in the 3D world that read my weblog. (ie The Teamster's Mom and sisters)
The one thing I still don't understand about the dynamic here on your weblog is why people who do not like you...come here ALL THE TIME to read and comment...just to complain and insult.
They must be on some sort of mission or bent on vengeance or something similar.
Whatever your problems may or may not be...or what mine may or may not be...I can not imagine going to read on a site just to complain and ridicule.
What goes around comes around...karma...do unto others...et cetera.
Why?
Why the hell not??
Honestly I don't even know why I blog anymore. I probably should take some time off and figure that out. I know why I originally started blogging and what I USED to blog for, but now? Not so much?
I would mark that dude as spam too. I don't know why he thinks that you should have to put up with his shit.
Knight, I think I feed the douchebags far too often :) And thank you for the compliment!
katherine, I've always found that dynamic with my blog odd as well. The commenter who I "featured" today has his own blog - he's a food blogger. I could visit his place and crap on his dining room table, but I prefer to just stay away.
Vengeance? Maybe, but honestly? I have no idea what the perceived wrong is.
Jay, I don't know that a blogging mission is critical - you have fun - we have fun reading you - I think that's enough.
According to the email exchange Doggy and I had this morning, he feels I have a public blog and he has every right to comment here. He's right, and as administrator of this blog, I have the right to handle his comments in any manner I deem appropriate.
As I told him in the email, if he feels he needs to address the ways I've "wronged" him - if he needs to defend himself - he has a platform to do that (his blog) and I will gladly link to his post.
Hi! I am a long time lurker and I just had to comment. Blogging is the most narcissistic of activities. As a fellow blogger, I get it and enjoy the comments, ability to wade in my thoughts and the general community. But what I can't quite believe is that there are actually people out there that take the time to repeatedly post comments that do nothing but make them look like idiots. I know none of these bloggers that are making snide remarks but I will tell you that I've just laughed at seriously some people take themselves. So the next time you get those comments stick out your finger and point to them and say - wow, how incredibly stupid you look? - then throw your head back and move forward. Life is too short. Keep writing
I blog as a diary and as a way to communicate with the friends I met through the net.
I think some people - not you, but some - blog for acceptance that they lack in other parts of life. That is the great part of the net. We all get what we need out of it.
I blog because so much unbelievable crap happens in my life it often leaves me in a weird mood. So my blog serves as an invitation to see why I'm "so cranky" or "so quiet" or so anything.
I also love to write so its an outlet and most recently I have made connections with people that I find pretty awesome.
Me, I started to get all defensive when you said that blogging was narcissistic, but ... ummm ... yeah! It is! This blog is all about me! Me! ME!!! And the things that are important to ME!! I've been known to take myself a little too seriously at times as well, but fortunately I have a group of folks who stop by here and point that finger right back at me too :)
Karen, I disagree! I think I *do* blog (in part) for acceptance that I lack in other parts of my life. I think that fits right in with my validation/attention reason, but I'm pretty much OK with that.
Raquel, the blogging community is, for the most part, an amazing one. It just seems that when things go bad, they really go bad - and quickly. Ehhh *shrugs* I need to not let myself get caught up in that to the extent I often do.
I blog because I have something to say, and I want to say it without the editing button that I have to have at work or with my family.
And yes blogging is narcissistic, but everyone needs a little place where everything is all about them.
Blogging IS for narcissists. And I'm one of them. I don't expose myself as much as many do because I'm more of a private person that way. I'll just let everyone find out the "true" me when they read my hand written journals after I die. If someone else wants to throw it all out there via the internet - I say they can go for it!
And I've always said, I'm more of a voyeur - and if I don't care for the way someone expresses themselves on their blog, I just don't go there.
Another Suburban Mom, and that is a wonderful reason to blog!
Sedorah, so you're a voyeur, not an exhibitionist? I can certainly understand that!
Blogging is a way to talk to other people without being interupted. You can actually get your whole thought out without the subject being changed on you. And the people that read your blog are actually listening.
BFF? I know what it's supposed to mean but I see it and think Best Fucking Friend.
And I can't figure out doggybloggy.
If you go to his blog it's all about food and his commenters love him. Yet he goes to other blogs and acts like an asshole. Did you dis one of his recipes? I've thought about doing that on his blog but I really don't want to get involved with him.
Mike, I hadn't thought about blogging in that way, but you're right - you aren't interrupted!
And the Doggy thing? Like I said in an earlier comment, I don't crap on his dining room table and I'd like to think my readers wouldn't either.
He's obviously quite good at being exactly who he wants to be on his blog. His readers get fooled every single day! I don't feel a responsibility to "save" them.
I blog because I'm narcissistic and I know that I'll enjoy reading my own writings when I'm 80 and can't remember all of the ramblings of my 40s!
I blog because I love to write, laugh, get things off of my chest, and to get into it with people like Doggy-Boy. It's fun.
Keep it up, Boo-Yah, and Cheers Dana!!
I admire those who blog...the committment and time not to mention something to say (more or less). It opens me to other opinions and views that I wouldn't see in my world.
I began blogging to share my thoughts on American idol...that quickly changed and the focus became my life and my love of music and food..now I have a blog for each of those loves and The Couch is just about me.
I certainly am not blogging for the comments, because my comments have decreased greatly in the last year.
i have thought about taking a break from The Couch, but I would hate to lose my last 3 readers! LOL..I am not complaining. I found long ago that this thing is cyclical and I am hopeful people will come back and I will make insightful posts that warrant comments...otherwise, I keep writing for myself..HELL, a blog is just a digital diary anyway, ain't it?
Dana, I only have one, true BFF and she lives in Ohio and I only see her...hell, I didn't see her at all for 20 years! And I've seen her twice in the last year.
Way off subject.
I blog because I like comments, I like making a diary of my life and looking back and seeing how fucked up some things were at one time, and I LOVE reading other people's blogs. Getting to see how other people sorta feel, how they live, the things they do, what they go through, makes me feel SO much more normal.
I started blogging to let some very dear old friends of my past know what I'm up to on a daily basis. For over a year, it was just US! Then when I went out further into the tubes and started commenting on other blogs who interested ME, well then a whole bunch of other internet folks came a visiting ME for whatever reason THEY chose. And the hood grew!
I don't look for answers, I don't ask for advise, I just put what I feel out there. Comments are fun and yeah sometimes when you think you'll get some and you don't it hurts a little. But after the 2 seconds of feeling sorry for myself are over, I laugh, right in my own face and say GET THE FUCK OVER IT! Why should anybody out here really give a fuck about what I'm doing in my life?
You used to intimidate me with how open and smart you seemed with your written word. Your comments on other blogs were hilarious. Took me a long time to comment on your blog, because I felt inferior for some stupid reason (Trade High School education)and your subjects were tough for me to chime in on.
But then.........on one of your posts, which sooo many were, about trashing your husband, you laughed (in written word) that he was in the same room and here you were trashing him and he didn't have a fricken clue that, that was what you do on that computer. That's when I starting thinking the poor fucking guy can't even defend himself, because he doesn't even know. THAT is when your true colors came out to me.
Not saying your not a nice person because what goes on between two people in a relationship is their own business but you put it all out here for us to judge. I don't really trust anything you say! Your a lier.
I'm just trying to be real again, and stay on subject.
Real Live Lesbian, I wonder if I'll still be able to READ at 40!
Matt-Man, there's nothing better than finding a competent adversary said...
Chris, yeah ... I don't always have something of value to say, but that doesn't keep me from blogging!
Vinny "Bond" Marini, you have always been one of the more content specific bloggers I read which really does set you apart from most.
Bina, you need to get out of that private blogging mode :)
Micky-T, ahhhh Micky! You were doing so well on that "This is why I blog" thing and then you let it go to hell. You need to remember that as much as I share here, it is probably less that 1% of what actually happens in my life.
I'll let you have your shot at calling me a liar and attempting to shame me in front of everyone, but it's your only shot.
I will tell you what I told Doggy - if you want to grandstand, it's best you do it on your own blog from here on out. If you're not willing to show YOUR readers what YOU are all about in your OWN home, you won't be welcome to do it here.
Why would I attempt to shame you Dana? You are who you are and you put yourself out here for the world to see and make their own opinions about. Some choose to tell you what maybe you want to hear and others tell you what maybe you don't want to hear. It's your choice if you want to shame yourself.
Grandstanding? Are you kidding me? Why the hell would I want to talk about who I really am in my OWN home with people I mostly have not met and is discussed from a keyboard like you do? You think THAT is REAL? I think not.
I'll still be reading every once in awhile to see how your doing and I'll try to keep my fingers shut.
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