Behind The Secret

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Soooo ... about Sunday's secret ...

I waited until late Sunday night to post it and did not promote it on my social media accounts because? Well, because I am disgusted with my behavior. Admitting publicly that I had done the very thing I've criticized other parents for doing was ... humiliating.

It's really easy to post something all Judgy-McJudgy like Get Off My Lawn. It's much more difficult to post something that sheds light on one of your major flaws - one that has been around a while - one that you would rather no one ever knew about you.

I published it because I needed to be held accountable for it, not only for Cam's benefit (because doing his homework does nothing more than bail him out - again), but for the benefit of Mike's and my relationship.

See? Mike wasn't very happy about my decision to do Cam's homework (understandably so) and because I have made a commitment to be transparent in this relationship (something I have never done in any relationship), I didn't hide from him what I was doing.

I knew that doing it was wrong. I knew that my justification for why I was doing it was wrong. There was simply nothing right about what I was doing, and Mike did not let me sneak by without expressing his disappointment and disdain for my choice.

I will not offer any justifications here. I will simply say that I want nothing more than to get my son through school because I am tired of parenting him. These 16 years have not been easy and I want my life back.

The problem is that it's not my turn to have my life back. I've got 2 more years of very hands-on parenting to do - hands-on parenting that should not will not include any more high school homework.

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