Behind The Secret

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Soooo ... about yesterday's secret ...

Yes, it's true (I think). There are so many inconsistencies in this situation that occasionally I allow myself to entertain the idea that it's all one big teen drama event rather than something I actually have to deal with.

Except that I don't have the luxury of approaching this from an "I'm not sure" perspective because if I'm wrong, the consequences are life altering.

Here is what I do know

• Late March/early April - Cam started dating a new girl
• May 4th - Cam told me his GF is pregnant and that he might be the baby-daddy. Remember he-who-jumped-out-of-the-car? He was dating this girl before Cam and is the other possible baby-daddy. I talked to Cam and his GF and told them (her) they (she) had a decision to make. That I would support whatever decision was made and that if they (she) decided on abortion, I would cover the cost and provide transportation. I told them time was critical and they needed to make a decision by May 6th
• May 8th - After hearing nothing, I asked them both what their (her) decision was. GF told me, "I don't want to kill it." I asked her if she had told her mom that she was pregnant. She assured me she had. I explained that I supported her decision, but there would be ZERO financial support from Cam or me until paternity was established
• May 9th - I received a text from Cam (he was at school) telling me his GF had changed her mind - she now wanted to have an abortion. That night I spoke with them again, explained that she would need her insurance information and would need to make an appointment the next day as time was critical.
• May 11th - Cam told me his GF was coming over at 11:30AM Saturday and they needed a ride to Planned Parenthood. After he decided he was going to spend the night at a friend's house, I learned that she still had not called for an appointment. I let Cam know that this was not a walk-in procedure, she needs to make an appointment. I also told Cam that I wanted her to take a pregnancy test at our house before I took her to Planned Parenthood. This request turned into a screaming match and Cam stating he would not let her take a pregnancy test at our house.
• May 12th - Cam's GF did not show up until 12:30 and still had not made an appointment. I explained there was no possible way to have the abortion that day without an appointment.
• May 13 - Cam told me that GF cannot make an appointment until she finds out what her mom's schedule is because she is grounded and cannot go anywhere after school. Confused, I suggested that maybe GF's mom is NOT aware of the pregnancy and I told him that if his GF did not make an appointment with Planned Parenthood on Monday, I was going to have to get her mom involved (Mike did some sleuthing on the internet and found the mom's name and phone number).

What I don't know

• If the GF is actually pregnant. She told Cam she went to the doctor on May 3rd for a pregnancy test, but can't explain how she did that without transportation (her mother did not take her). This, in conjunction with the refusal to take a pregnancy test before going to Planned Parenthood have me wondering about her story
• If GF's mom knows she's pregnant. GF insists she does, but I find it a bit odd that her being grounded supersedes her mom allowing her to go to Planned Parenthood to have an abortion
• If Cam is even remotely a baby-daddy possibility. He-who-jumped-out-of-the-car (baby-daddy v2) was dating Cam's (now) GF in February/March/April. He is now in in-patient drug rehab. I find it convenient that Cam and his GF started dating as soon as he-who-jumped-out-of-the-car went to rehab, and the pregnancy was not confirmed until he was gone.

To say that I am STRESSED OUT about this situation is an understatement. It is not what I want for any 17-year old girl, my son, or anyone else (i.e. ME) involved. The chances of them being good parents, being able to support a child, and completing their education are slim to none, yet there seems to be no urgency on either of their parts to terminate the pregnancy while that is still an option.

I have procrastinated getting the other parents (GF's and baby-daddy v2) involved, mostly from a very selfish perspective. I am embarrassed and angry that my son got himself in this predicament. I don't want to be the parent everyone blames. I don't want my first contact with the GF's mother to be a phone call that starts out with, "Are you aware your daughter is saying she is pregnant?"

That said, my current plan of attack has been overwhelmingly unsuccessful (based on results).

I think it's time to put on the Depends big-girl panties, call the other parents, and force them to parent through this situation too.

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(7/365)