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I have a few guilty pleasures in life, one of which is reality TV. Nooooo ... not reality TV like Survivor *shudders* reality TV like Lockup, Intervention, Obsessed, and Hoarders.
Give me a marathon of any one of these shows and I am happier than a redneck browsing the clearance rack at WalMart.
I've heard mutterings that some people cannot stomach these shows - they find the dysfunction so disgusting, so disturbing, that they are compelled to avoid these shows at any cost.
Then there are the "train wreck" folks - those who use the people in these shows as a gauge of their own worth and value. They find themselves saying things like "At least I'm not that bad" or "How could anyone ever let themselves get in that position."
The "train wreck" folks validate their own pitiful lives by belittling those they see as "less than" themselves.
I take a somewhat different view of these shows. I recognize the vulnerability - seeing the things people have in common with all of us rather than seeing them as their addiction, their crime, their mental illness.
When it comes right down to it, the people featured on these shows are no different than us. They want love. They want respect. They want validation. Yet in most cases, some event sends them over that proverbial line we are all so sure we would never cross.
I have a theory on this ...
Any one of us could find ourselves featured in one of these shows. That's right, even you, you and especially you. It would take little more than an unexpected trauma. A death. The loss of income. It might even be something most people would deem insignificant, but results in the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.
And deep down? We all know this, yet most of us refuse to admit it. We'd like to think we are better than those people that we would never ...
It's too bad we are so pompous.
Ignoring the reality of our own vulnerability, judging what we see rather than what we know, or even worse, belittling the people featured on these shows? That is disgusting and disturbing.
I have a few guilty pleasures in life, one of which is reality TV. Nooooo ... not reality TV like Survivor *shudders* reality TV like Lockup, Intervention, Obsessed, and Hoarders.
Give me a marathon of any one of these shows and I am happier than a redneck browsing the clearance rack at WalMart.
I've heard mutterings that some people cannot stomach these shows - they find the dysfunction so disgusting, so disturbing, that they are compelled to avoid these shows at any cost.
Then there are the "train wreck" folks - those who use the people in these shows as a gauge of their own worth and value. They find themselves saying things like "At least I'm not that bad" or "How could anyone ever let themselves get in that position."
The "train wreck" folks validate their own pitiful lives by belittling those they see as "less than" themselves.
I take a somewhat different view of these shows. I recognize the vulnerability - seeing the things people have in common with all of us rather than seeing them as their addiction, their crime, their mental illness.
When it comes right down to it, the people featured on these shows are no different than us. They want love. They want respect. They want validation. Yet in most cases, some event sends them over that proverbial line we are all so sure we would never cross.
I have a theory on this ...
Any one of us could find ourselves featured in one of these shows. That's right, even you, you and especially you. It would take little more than an unexpected trauma. A death. The loss of income. It might even be something most people would deem insignificant, but results in the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.
And deep down? We all know this, yet most of us refuse to admit it. We'd like to think we are better than those people that we would never ...
It's too bad we are so pompous.
Ignoring the reality of our own vulnerability, judging what we see rather than what we know, or even worse, belittling the people featured on these shows? That is disgusting and disturbing.
~*~*~
18 comments:
I have no vulnerabilities. I am Iron Man...or something. Cheers Dana!!
Interesting take. I have to your point of view some more thought, but I am not sure that I agree that any of could find ourselves at a TV-worthy level of dysfunction. There has to be an underlying predilection to addiction, hoarding, violence or whatever. I don't think we all have such serious issues bubbling under the surface ready to appear when tragedy strikes.
But can I go on the record to say that Survivor is an AWESOME show. Thanks. :-)
I don't watch these shows, but I have seen an episode or two of each of them. Watching people hit rock bottom isn't my idea of entertainment. And I don't like to wallow in other people's misery. I think maybe those shows take reality TV a little too far by making it actually real.
The two shows that I don't watch before bed are "Hoarders" and "Billy the Exterminator." I find "Hoarders" disturbing and "Billy" and all those creepy crawly critters creep me out.
"Any one of us could find ourselves featured in one of these shows."
I have a hard time believing this is true. Many of us are closer to poverty than we might like to admit. (i.e. a few weeks of no income could easily push us past getting by and into truly struggling.) But to say this would lead us into a life of dysfunction may be a stretch.
When I've watched shows like this I didn't automatically put myself into a position of self righteousness. Do I think these people have serious underlying issues? Absolutely. Do I think I'm better than them? No, just my circumstances are.
I've probably had a much better support system in my life than they have. This has built a reasonable self esteem in me. I'd like to think this positive upbringing would go a long way towards keeping me on track should tragedy befall me.
I don't watch these shows--not because I'm disturbed by them or think the people are disgusting--but because I feel like I'm intruding on someone's private life when I do.
Yes, they agree to be on television, but the heart of the show is exploitation. I would agree that the people on these show are exposing their vulnerability, and it seems respectful to not gawk at it.
I don't have anything against people who choose to watch, mind, I just feel uncomfortable doing so myself.
Matt-Man, I thought that was iron lung ... after your bout with pneumonia!
Karen, really? You think there is some identifier for people "like that" A scarlet letter of sorts? I would argue that given the same set of circumstances and support (or lack thereof) we are all capable.
... and don't get me started on Survivor!
Jay, don't get me wrong, I don't find it entertaining, but rather it tugs at my empathy strings. It makes me more aware of people around me and struggles they might be facing. It makes me more accepting - and less judgmental. Entertainment is not even on my radar.
I was watching the Hoarders marathon on Monday and knew, given the money and time, I could SO be there! When they talked about a "thing" having the memory, I was nodding! My heart ached for the one woman who just couldn't let go and they put all the garbage back in her garage!
So, yeah! Dana, I think it could happen to many out there that sneer at hoarding, drug addicts, gamblers, overeaters - whatever.
I love Intervention. I'll purposely watch it so my spouse can maybe learn by osmosis or diffusion or something.
She tends to use AA meetings as her own reality barometer, coming back and saying "I'm not near as bad as some of those people".
I hate to tell her, but she IS as bad as some of the others.
I have watched Hoarders once I think. It scares me to death!
I just am amazed that people have these difficulties in their life and then allow cameras into their homes
Let's start a new show called OCD. This is where we would go into a neat freaks house and rearrange things. They would then be ordered to leave things out of place for a month.
Jeff B, you know Jeff, that all sounds well and good, but I'm not buying it. I don't think any of us really know how we'd come out of an emotional trauma until we are staring it down in the face. Yes, if you have resources to turn to you'll likely fare better, but on equal footing? I don't know ...
Ms. Inconspicuous, now that is an interesting perspective. I guess I don't see the shows as blatant exploitation - more as documentaries of sorts - yet in reality they are about ratings and making money, so it's difficult to argue that point. Hmmm ...
nitebyrd, I was really touched by one of the people featured on Hoarding who said, "My stuff is here for me, you are not" to her daughter, and one of the therapists likening it to a hug from stuff. I "get" that, which I find kind of scary.
bikinfool, those of us who have ever had a problem like these (addiction is my battlefield) often use the lure of finding someone worse off than we are to make ourselves OK. In fact, I would even go as far as to say that most people do this every day - judging their own looks, status, whatever in relation to those surrounding them.
Vinny "Bond" Marini, I am amazed that we live in a society where the "shame" of a weakness is so strong that people don't seek help. Secrets are destructive on so many levels.
Mike, ummmm Mike? Guess what they do on Obsessed? Yeah ... it's a show about OCD :)
I actually do have experience with emotional trauma. Mine came in the form of alcoholism. Because I had that voice deep inside me that kept telling me, "You can get through this." and a family that supported me, I was able to get through it.
Now, if I were lose lose my ability to earn an income and support my family, or they were suddenly taken away from me due to an accident....would I lose control? You're right in saying none of us know until we're thrust into that situation. All I know is my past experiences have taught me that I can weather the storms of life.
Can you tell I don't have cable ... or sattelite ... or Uverse ... I HAVE FREE!
I have watched Intervention and I can't anymore because I always root for the people, and I get so sad when they don't make it.
I can't watch Hoarders. I have a critter fear and I can't watch anything where there is a chance of critters showing up.
I myself could be the star of my own reality show and I know people would be riveted. There is so much "wrong" with me that I know I would be entertaining.
I don't usually watch these shows because they are indeed mirrors into my own life. At times, I hate looking at myself. I only do so when I have come to terms that whatever needs fixing, I need to look at....does that make sense?
Regardless, I agree with you here Dana. Looking at these people without seeing how they relate to oneself is somewhat hypocritical.
Intervention makes me so sad...there are 2 addict brothers in my life ( or not really, I haven't spoken to them in months) and Hoarders is just sad, and sickening at the same time.
Sigh.
I do agree we could all be there. I lost my job in April and I have my days when I am so depressed. But not to the point of not keeping my house clean.
I can't help but think (hope?) that the mere act of getting SO MANY people involved in your story (producers, directors, camera operators, production folks at various levels, mental health professionals, organizers, and most important, the audience) will make a difference in the subject's life. There's a big difference between saying "I have a houseful of garbage and I just cope with it day to day" vs. "I have a houseful of garbage but people have seen me on TV now and they're talking, so it's no longer a secret. What would I tell someone else in my shoes?" It's not always exploitative entertainment. Sometimes it's a tipping point that could save a life.
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