The Year That Was

There are school years that are good, school years where you are just able to keep your head above water, and school years where you celebrate just making it through.

This school year has been one of the latter ... at 1:20 PM today, it will officially be over.

The school year started in mid-August without incident. Sure, there were some getting back into the swing of things challenges the first month, but nothing I (and the school) hadn't seen before. The work refusal. The disorganization. The referrals to the Dean's office when teachers were frustrated with their inability to get Cam to do what they wanted him to do. All of these things directly related to Cam's neurological issues, and well documented in his IEP.

In September, I got the first inkling that things might be going sideways. An "informal" meeting with the Spec Ed Coordinator and the school social worker where the Spec Ed Coordinator first brought up an alternate placement for Cam. The choices weren't acceptable, and a week later, after informing the Spec Ed Coordinator that neither Cam nor I were interested in any of the alternate placement options and that we felt it was best for Cam to stay at his home high school, it became crystal clear that I was going to have a fight on my hands.

From September through mid-December, I received no less than four calls per week from either the Spec Ed Coordinator or the Dean. There were times when there were that many calls in a single day, and many of those resulted in me having to leave work and go to the high school. Cam was referred to the Dean for everything from tardies, to carrying his backpack from class to class. There were detentions, in-school suspensions, and out-of-school suspensions. Then, a 7-second shoving match between Cam and one of his long-time friends sent the year right over the edge. Charges of Battery and Disorderly Conduct were filed with the State's Attorney's office by the School Resource Officer, eventually resulting in a Summons to Appear, and giving the Spec Ed Coordinator the ammunition he needed to insist Cam be removed from his home high school.

In January, an IEP meeting was called. Although Cam did not commit an expendable offense, nor had he received the 10-days of school suspensions that mandates a meeting to discuss change of placement, the school was recommending his removal from the high school. They insisted he belonged at the district alternative high school - a punitive placement for students who have committed an expellable offense.

When I declined that placement, the district brought in a "mediator" (another district employee) who again lobbied for placement outside of Cam's home high school. They offered a partial school day (3 periods) at his home high school and the remainder of his educational time at night school. They claimed Cam was not on track to graduate with his class and that this was the only way to insure he graduated on time. They did everything within their power to convince me this was the best thing for Cam. They failed.

I filed for Due Process. Three months, $9,000 in attorney fees, many lost hours of work, and another full-scale neuro-psych evaluation later, the district agreed to everything I had requested in January. They backed down ... because they were wrong. A win for Cam, but the financial and emotional costs were overwhelming.

And a meeting just last week uncovered that not only is Cam on track to graduate with his class, he only needs to take a partial class load his senior year to do it.

The criminal charges for misdemeanor Battery and Disorderly Conduct are still pending. After securing a Public Defender, we have our second court appearance on June 6th where Cam will plead "Not Guilty". I'm not sure how swiftly the Juvenile Justice System works, but I am hoping we have this issue resolved before the school year starts in August.

I tend to be a silver lining kind of person, but even I will admit it's difficult to find one when looking back at this school year. I take some comfort in knowing my fight was not in vain - that Cam's placement is exactly where Cam's placement should be. I'm proud of myself for not giving up when really, that is exactly what I wanted to do. Give up. Run far away. Never look back.

I don't know that I am stronger from this experience. Most days I feel deflated and defeated, even though the ultimate end goal was achieved. The price to reach that goal was high, and I wonder if I will have enough left in me to parent Cam through his senior year ... especially if we run into challenges like we experienced this year.

I have learned some very valuable lessons about our public schools and juvenile justice systems. I'd like to find a way to use what I've learned to change the things that are wrong - to help those kids and parents who think they have no options. I'm not sure how - or if - I'll make that happen, but I'd like to see something positive come out of this otherwise bleak year.

I usually worry about the end of the school year. In the past it has meant three months of unsupervised time for Cam - the epitome of "Idle hands are the devil's playground". This year is different. Cam is taking 2 sessions of summer school so that he can have a stress-free senior year, and he has a job that he loves. Both will keep him productively busy.

This year, I'll be celebrating 1:20 PM, and hoping that next year will be a good one ... or at least one where I'm able to keep my head above water.

10 Things Thursday

1. I spent my morning at the County Juvenile Justice Center. The two skirmishes (and that's being generous - they were little more than 15-second, non-injury, shoving matches) my son was involved in at school - one in May 2012 (yes, a year ago) and one in December 2012 - were referred to the States Attorney's Office for prosecution. He is being charged with 2 counts of misdemeanor Battery and 2 counts of misdemeanor Disorderly Conduct. Today he was appointed a public defender and the case was continued until June 6th. I cannot begin to tell you how ignorant I think this is.
2. According to my scale, I am now down a total of 51 lbs since weight-loss surgery 6 weeks ago. 51 lbs in 6 weeks is just plain CRAY-CRAY!! Every week that I get on the scale I expect it to suddenly scream back at me "HA! Fooled you! Here are those 51 lbs you thought you lost."
3. It's been a month since Cam's IEP meeting with all of the attorney's present. I am still angry ... no ... IRATE ... that it cost just under $9000 to get Cam exactly what I asked for before filing Due Process. On Sunday afternoon, I have a meeting with the parents who funded Cam's legal fees. I offered to pay them back for a portion of the costs, and my guess is they are going to take me up on that. It's going to take me a LONG time to pay it back at $50/month, but I am beyond grateful for everything they did.
4. Cam has traffic school (4-hour) on Saturday morning. This is to get the speeding ticket (6-14 mph over the limit) off of his record and keep his insurance rates from skyrocketing.
5. You know, when I look back on the last 6 months, it's been a shit-show! How was I not boring you all by blogging about all of that?
6. One of the things I've discovered since surgery is that I miss eating - enjoying flavors and textures - filling up on sweet and savory goodness. Oh! And I miss BREAD. I haven't had a slice of bread in 2 months, although I did sneak a few bites of a soft pretzel (and no, that is not a euphemism) one night at the bowling alley.
7. There is discontent among the Music Parents group. Fine! I am irritated as fuck with the Music Parents group. Is that better?? We seem to have a few executive board members who are score keepers. They must log the number of volunteer hours for every other executive board member, and guess what? I come up short! Why? Because much of what I do is behind the scenes - keeping up our social media presence - designing, maintaining, and posting to our web site. And those two surgeries in April made it quite difficult for me to volunteer at the year-end event. It's okay though ... the snide, passive-aggressive comments were circulated throughout email so I paid my penance for being such a shitty volunteer. Remember when I said I thought this organization was a better place for my time? I'm rethinking that.
8. Mike and I are going to start our 2-month free membership at the fitness center (a perk of weight-loss surgery) next week. I'm actually quite excited about this!
9. I had to purchase a smaller bra. I guess you can't lose weight and maintain the 40DDDs ... or even the DDDs ... sad panda ...
10. The current drama in my family is due to my mom's decision to move back to Las Vegas ... again. This is the third time she's moved back there in the last 15(?) years. She moves down there, decides she misses her sisters, moves back to Washington to be with her family, decides the family doesn't understand her, then moves back to Las Vegas again. I should run bets on how long she'll stay down there this time. I'm guessing 3 years. Anyone want the over/under on this one?

When The Words No Longer Get Stuck In Your Head

~*~

Photo Credit

It wasn't that long ago when words got stuck in my head. When the only person who would listen to me was blogger. When I thought I would go crazy if I didn't get the thoughts out of my head.

Looking back, it's clear that I was lonely, even when I was still with husband. Writing here was my way to find validation and companionship - not in a I-want-to-be-internet-famous way, but in a way to simply be acknowledged as human. 

Now? I have a relationship with someone who validates me every day (validates is not euphemism ... although I'm sure Mike wishes it was). 

I want to write. There is a part of me that misses writing - attempting to put my thoughts in print so that they make as much sense to anyone reading them as they do when they are bouncing in my head. This blog has been my friend when I felt there was no one else who would listen. It was important to me, and I feel kind of bad to have tossed it aside recently.

It's not like life has been boring I last wrote a month ago, in fact, life has been churning right along at a much faster pace than two years ago. Here are a few examples.

• The school district agreed to EXACTLY what I asked for back in January - before I filed for Due Process - before I spent $2,500 of someone else's money on legal fees. I am both relieved and angry. For a system that claims to continually fight bullying, they are a prime example of a bully - repeatedly using aggressive behavior intended to hurt another person, physically or mentally (although I believe this had more to do with DECREASING their liability that it actually had to do with intentionally harming Cam). It isn't until the power shifted that they backed down. I am relived that Cam will remain where he belongs, but angry that it took an attorney to get the school district to do what was right.

• I'm heading to the hospital tomorrow morning for my vertical sleeve gastrectomy surgery. I am nervous (understatement), yet looking forward to a life where food is not the center of my world. Finally letting go of my invisible fat woman identity is a little scary - my fat has allowed me to keep people at a distance, and losing that ability is beyond uncomfortable.

• I recently tracked down one of Cam's first cousins. A two-week free membership on Ancestry.com led me to a public family tree that included Cam's father (Thyrus). I contacted the member who put together the family tree and learned that she is married to one of Cam's first cousins. We have been corresponding via email and, assuming everyone is open to it, she will provide me with contact information for Thyrus' sister. My hope is that, at a minimum, I'll be able to get at least some medical history. Best case? Thyrus' family welcomes Cam with open arms. We'll see how this goes.

• I committed to doing a Tough Mudder in October. It will be difficult to be in great shape shape six months after surgery, especially since I cannot begin exercising until mid May, so instead I'm aiming for good shape, focusing on endurance and upper body strength as those will be tested the most in a Tough Mudder event. I chalk this decision up to having a mid-life crisis (<-- See what I did there??).

See? I do still have a life, but it is one with less drama and more love, and it appears that equates to less blogging.

Who knew?

High School Memories - PART V

PART I

PART II

PART III
PART IV

***

I went into the meeting with Andy's parents with few expectations. In fact, I was well aware that in telling them more of the story, they might just run away screaming. But I'm one to put it all out there and let people judge the truth rather than filling in the blanks with their own prejudices, even though honesty has been known to bite me in the ass.

I did apologize for my failure to alert them to the fact that Cam had named Andy as his alibi. I was so wrapped up in the moment that I didn't consider they might have appreciated a heads-up. They were not at all concerned.

They did start telling their own stories of the high school and the SRO. Although their experiences haven't been as IN YOUR FACE as mine, they've definitely seen similar issues, and they are not happy.

They asked me if I had considered getting an attorney.

I told them it just wasn't an option for me - that I've been doing a lot of legal research and have formulated a strong case as to why the district should not change Cam's placement - and I feel prepared.

They asked why it wasn't an option.

I sucked up my pride and said, "It's just not something I can afford."

There is something quite ... disturbing? About having to admit to anyone that you cannot give your child all the resources he needs for the best possible outcome. Special education is a legal issue, and as is true in all legal issues, more money usually results in a better outcome.

I often wonder if the administration of the school district uses this knowledge to their advantage.

Andy's parents talked about investments - specifically investments in their children. They see Andy and Cam's friendship as something worth investing in, and they see the issues at the high school worthy of change.

They offered to cover the costs of an attorney - of my choice - to fight for Cam. They did suggest I find the biggest, blackest, most intimidating attorney that I could *snicker* Like me, they feel that race may play a part in this, if for no other reason than the fact that Cam is easy to spot in a crowd.

Not only are they willing to cover the costs of an attorney during mediation, but they are willing to continue covering the costs of the attorney should this go to Due Process.

They've also offered Cam a job at their campground beginning in April.

And they are offering to cover the cost of membership at the "local" Lifetime Fitness for Cam, giving him and Andy a constructive outlet for all of that teenage testosterone.

Do I feel a bit like a charity case? Am I having a hard time swallowing my pride and accepting this amazing gift? Yes, and if it were not for the fact these things benefit Cam, I'd have likely declined their offer.

It also validates what I've been seeing and feeling. I was starting to think my conspiracy theorist self had tossed all logic and reason aside for some imaginary, grandiose, wrong doing. For goodness sake, if I were reading this story I'd be wondering how it could be true. Things like this don't happen in our public schools. Our public schools are a safe haven for learning, right??

The more I research the more I realize just how untrue that assumption is.

I'll wrap this series up tomorrow with an update of where we are - what steps I'm taking - where I hope this story goes.

It's good to have hope again.

High School Memories - PART IV

PART I

PART II

PART III

***

On Friday, at 3:58 PM, I received the following text from Cam's best friend's mom, Susan:

Could you give me a call when you have a minute? No bad news ;)

A little background first.

Cam and Andy have been friends for 5 or 6 years. I used to take them to the middle school church youth group every Wednesday. Even when Cam did the therapeutic day school stint his freshman/sophomore year,  he and Andy remained friends.

Andy comes from a very well-off family, but his parents are advocates of hard work and no free ride. They are fairly strict and demand a lot from their sons (Andy has an older brother). I've always been thrilled with this friendship. The boys really are good together.

So yes, there is a lot of good history between the boys, and Susan and I communicate frequently, insuring the boys are doing what they need to be doing. Getting a text from her was not at all unusual.

I called her back and we had kind of an odd conversation. She's been following what little I post about Cam's school struggles on Facebook and had been filled in on some of the other details from both boys. She told me that she and her husband wondered if I'd come over for a few beers on Saturday. They'd like to talk to me and offer some support with the situation.

Mike has been extremely supportive of me when it comes to Cam's education. He attends all of Cam's IEP meetings. He is a sounding board and offers a different perspective. But the idea of having more support - especially from someone who also has a teenage son - was certainly welcome.

When I got to their house Saturday, they told me what had prompted this meeting. In yet another pending situation (seriously - all teenagers should be sent FAR away), Cam has been accused of what we'll call harassment.  The person who filed the complaint lives a good 30 miles from us (a classmate from Cam's therapeutic day school). Her allegations included that Cam came to her bus stop and made threats on a Friday afternoon.

I have Cam's phone GPS-ed. It logs Cam's location every 15 minutes, or more often if he changes location. I was able to prove that Cam was not within 15 miles of where the alleged harassment took place, yet because Cam was with Andy that afternoon, the investigators also wanted Andy's contact information to confirm the data I'd already given them.

Guess who was selected to interview Andy?

My friend the School Resource Officer.

When he finished interviewing Andy, he tells Andy that he really needs to find better friends. That Cam is bad news and that Andy can do much better.

*blink*

*blink*

Then the SRO calls Andy's parents to inform them of Andy's interview. When Andy's dad asked why he was interviewed, the SRO mentioned that there was an incident with Cam in a neighboring town and Andy was his alibi. Oh! And by the way ... they really should keep Andy away from Cam because Cam isn't a good friend for Andy to have.

*blink*

*blink*

Although I'm certain the SRO's intent was to warn Andy's innocent parents about the evils of Cam, what it did instead was confirm to Andy's parents that what I had been saying on Facebook was true.

They know Cam.

They know what kind of kid he is.

They've seen his struggles and his successes.

I'm not one of those "NOT MY KID!" parents. I'll be the first to admit that Cam has not been a perfect angel. That he's forged some questionable friendships in the past that have altered the way some people (those in authority) see him. That he's made some mistakes along the way - more mistakes than many kids make. He's not had an easy time of things, and some of that is his own doing.

I also know that I've been told by many of Cam's friends, and a handful of parents and teachers, that they believe Cam is being singled out - watched more closely - punished more severely.

Why? *shrugs*

Although it makes me uncomfortable to say it, the only thing that makes sense is that it is, at least in part, a racial issue. Cam is the big (6'-4", 225 lb), bad, black kid - 1 of maybe 10 in a high school of 800 kids. He had to be sent away to a therapeutic day school for 1-1/2 years. He questions authority. His grades are "bad".

Unfortunately, the public school system seems to be immune from the checks and balances of the rest of society. I was told by the Dean of Students that he was the "judge and jury" of the high school and it didn't matter if I thought he was being fair or not.

The only way to fight this ignorance is with an attorney, and that has been a luxury not available to me.

That was about to change ...

High School Memories - PART III

*NOTE* You can read PART I HERE, and PART II HERE

***

The meeting was scheduled for 3:15. When Mike and I arrived at the school office, my advocate and Cam were already there. As the district personnel headed to the conference room, we were told we needed to wait in the office until they were ready for us.

I mentioned to the advocate that it was difficult to feel like an equal member of the IEP team when the team needed 15 minutes - without all of the team members - to circle the wagons. She commented that this was pretty normal to which I responded, "Just because it's normal doesn't mean it's right."

I knew at that point that it was time to fire her. Her priority was not fighting for Cam. Her priority was flying under the radar and hoping for the best.

About 15 minutes later, the meeting started as all IEP meetings do - introductions - sign in - a review of why we were there. 

The Director of Compliance Education Services was leading the meeting. Being that the Local Education Agency Representative had been adversarial in our previous meetings, the change was much appreciated.

There were minimal discussions regarding the wording of the IEP. The advocate took the lead on that and ignored much of what I had told her I wanted changed. Discussions quickly turned to placement.

The Director of Compliance Education Services asked Cam what he thought was appropriate placement. Cam was all in for full-time placement at his home high school, expressing his renewed commitment. He told the team that if they were to place him in the self-contained program, he wouldn't go - that he knows that in Illinois, once he turns 17 (March 1st), there are no issues of truancy and he can just drop out.

I echoed those same sentiments, including why I felt the self-contained program was not an appropriate placement.

Then the district team members gave their perspective. Apparently they'd all had some sort of divine intervention, because they cumulatively decided the self-contained program was not the best placement for Cam. Now? They felt it was in Cam's best interest to attend his home high school for periods 1-3 (History, PE, and Band), and then attend the night school program full-time.

This would allow him to stay involved in music and in the high school community, while giving him access to a program that he has shown "significant success" with - computer based learning.

Side note? He has had 1 computer based learning summer school class, and 2 weeks of computer based credit recovery experience ... compared to 2-1/2 years of traditional education where he is still on track to graduate with his class.

This placement would mean he would leave for school at 7:00AM - return home at 10:30AM - leave for night school at 5:15PM - return home at 9:45PM ... Monday through Friday.

Not only that, I would be responsible for transportation to night school (night school is not a special education placement, therefore transportation is not the responsibility of the district) and since it is held at a high school in our district that is 17 miles away, this equates to roughly $100/month in fuel costs.

I thanked them for their time, and let them know that Cam and I would be discussing if this was an acceptable placement and would return all necessary paperwork by the end of the week.

Cam wants to keep fighting for what is right - full-time placement at his home high school. I think Cam's request is not only reasonable, but the best placement option for him, and as his mom, I must advocate for his decision.

On Friday, I checked the "I do not agree ..." box, sent an email to the team informing them of Cam's decision   and thanking them for their attempts at resolution, and prepared - again - to contact the Illinois State Board of Education to request mediation.

Three hours later, things took an unexpected turn ...

High School Memories - PART II

*NOTE* You can read PART I HERE

***

The end of Cam's first semester this school year was bad. He was suspended for the 4 days preceding finals for pushing a friend of his in the lunch room (resulting in the friend putting him in a choke-hold and taking Cam to the floor) during what could only be called a 7-second, 16-year old, alpha-male, pissing match ... where no one was injured. The administration made it impossible for Cam to get any of the review information for finals that was presented in class, going so far as to tell me that district policy was that suspended students were not allowed any instructional information, and could turn in no assignments, during the period they were suspended (a policy that does NOT exist). He failed his Algebra class (by 2%), but managed to eek out a passing grade in his other classes. 

He was also charged with battery and disorderly conduct by the School Resource Officer (SRO) - charges that are currently in the hands of the State's Attorney's Office.

But that really wasn't what initiated the school administration's plot to have Cam out-placed. It was back at an October 30th meeting when it was first brought up. What I didn't realize then was that the school administration was beginning to lay the groundwork for removing Cam from the high school. After that October meeting (not an IEP meeting, but a meeting that was presented to me as informational only) all hell broke loose when I declined a voluntary change in placement.

That is when Cam started being sent to the Dean's office at least twice a week, for things as minor as having a backpack in class, wearing earbuds in the hallway, and not doing his work in class. The Dean even went so far as to arbitrarily change a 1/2-day suspension (for disobedience/defiance) into a 2-day suspension because he didn't like the way Cam reacted to his consequences. There were daily calls from the school that disrupted my work day and eventually led to performance review issues and the loss of 25% of my year-end bonus.

It became clear the administration had a plan of action, and they were hell-bent on bringing it to fruition.

I was no longer a member of the IEP team. I was that parent who needed to be forced to do what was easiest for the administrators.

I wasn't expecting much from the January 22nd meeting. The team was still district personnel with the addition of the Director of Compliance Education Services.

I did hope to get the corrections made to the wording/facts that were screwed up in the 7-day old IEP, but I figured placement wouldn't change. How does the administration back down from recommending a self-contained program, just 7 days after that recommendation? Even if Cam's performance was measurably better than it had been the previous semester?

See? This is the rub ...

Since second semester started (January 7th), Cam has had no referrals to the Dean. He's had no tardies. He's not only passing all of his classes, all of his teachers are marveling at the 180 turnaround he's made. For whatever reason (and he has yet to be able to articulate it), Cam has finally made the decision to do better.

That has been my proof that out-placement was unnecessary.

The meeting invitation included TEN district personnel. I had Mike, my advocate (the one who has since been fired), Cam, and Cam's band director (who has been AMAZINGLY supportive during this process - fighting to keep Cam at the high school full-time). 

This wasn't going to be an IEP meeting ...

This was going to be a Beat-Em-Down ...

High School Memories - PART I

*NOTE* I intended this post to be a single post update, but as I started writing,

it became clear that it was going to be far too long for any of you to actually read to the end,

not that any of you will now, but I thought I'd attempt to increase the probability.

***

It's amazing what can happen in 2 weeks - just how deep of a hole people who claim to have my son's best educational interests in mind can dig - and how help can come from unexpected places.

The last time I wrote about Cam's educational struggles, we were in a bit of a holding pattern. The IEP team had agreed to allow me 8 days to research the four placement options they felt were appropriate.

The meeting did reconvene with a "modified" IEP team - the Local Education Agency Representative (LEA), the Education Services Generalist for Teaching and Learning, Mike, and me. My advocate did not make the meeting, nor did she alert me to the fact that she would not be attending the meeting.

I have since "fired" her - not specifically for this incident, but for her pattern of not being dependable, nor aggressive, in advocating.

Anyway, the meeting was short and ... well? Sour.

I was presented with the four original placement options (Cam's home high school not being one of those), but was allowed to briefly present why I thought he should remain at his home high school. I was then told the other team members not present at the meeting had given "non-verbal agreement" that placement at his home high school was not appropriate.

I requested some additional changes to the verbiage of the IEP as it did not reflect current performance, data included in the IEP regarding past performance was inaccurate, and wording used in the IEP was geared towards a predetermined placement outside of his home high school. I was told that I was presented with a draft IEP on January 4th, that I had plenty of time to review and present any proposed changes at the meeting on January 7th,  that the team had made some changes to the verbiage of the IEP at that January 7th meeting, and that the team would not consider discussing any remaining concerns I have with the  verbiage of the IEP.

And then they changed Cam's placement to the District Alternative High School (the self contained program for students with emotional and behavior disorders, and special education students who have been expelled).

I checked the "I do not agree ..." box, asked for a copy of the Procedural Safeguards for Parents/Guardians of Students With Disabilities, wrote a follow-up email summarizing the meeting that I promptly sent to everyone I thought mattered, and found the number for the Illinois State Board of Education so that I could request mediation.

Within 24-hours, I received an email response from the Assistant Superintendent for Education Services offering up a resolution meeting with the IEP team and the Director of Compliance Education Services present.

I accepted the offer and yet another IEP meeting was scheduled.

January 22nd

Suspended

The IEP ... not Cam.

The meeting went ... *sigh* ... as expected. We got through the IEP in about an hour, removing language that was clearly written into the IEP to sway placement. Things like:

• Cameron was suspended and arrested on 12/13/12 for battery and disorderly conduct when he pushed another student and the student fell to the floor. This caused the other student to retaliate and ended in a fight. (Cam was TICKETED for battery and disorderly conduct. The second sentence in this passage was removed from the IEP as Cam is not responsible for the actions of others)
• Due to Cameron's diagnosis noted in the 2002 report by Dr. Barrett, Cam displays behaviors that negatively impact his educational performance. (In an informal meeting, I shared an OLD diagnostic report with two people on the IEP team, prefacing the sharing with "I am working under the assumption that this meeting is off the record," to which they both agreed, yet they continue to attempt to include this "off-the-record" information in the IEP when Cam has a diagnosis from 2009 that indicated his first diagnosis was incorrect)
• Cameron has expressed that it would be difficult for him to graduate from high school in a traditional setting. (Cam has expressed that he believes he has been singled out - that staff is just waiting for him to do something wrong so they can send him back to the Dean's office. Cam's observations have been confirmed by both students AND staff)

I felt good about those changes. They more clearly reflect Cam's disability, struggles in school, and consequences of those struggles.

We then came to the issue of placement.

As I shared with you Monday, I was told four placement options would be considered, none of those placement options were Cam's home high school. When I asked whether placement at Cam's home high school was an option, I was told, "We have given Cam an exhaustive amount of accommodations and he has made no progress towards graduation." For the record, his only accommodations are extended testing time, credit for partial work turned in, and preferential seating. Not by any means an exhaustive amount.

There were also statements that Cam requires a therapeutic component to his education. Although I do believe Cam could benefit from a therapeutic component to his education, I know that component can be acquired outside of the educational environment, and at my expense. I articulated that I was willing to make that a provision of keeping his placement at his home high school.

Although it became clear that the team's focus was going to be on that therapeutic component (and the lack of that therapeutic component at his home high school), three of the four placement options they said they would consider do not contain any therapeutic component.

Hmmmmm ... that smells an awful lot like saying one thing, but only giving options for something completely different.

After letting the team know that I was not willing to agree to any placement without first visiting the programs, and having an opportunity to ask questions of those who run the programs, I was told that the "team" was going to change Cameron's placement on the IEP anyway - that my agreement was not necessary for them to do that. I suggested that the IEP be suspended until I was given a reasonable amount of time to explore the other placement options - 10 calendar days. They reluctantly agreed to give me 8 days.

The meeting will reconvene on Tuesday afternoon with a "modified" IEP team - just the LEA, the Education Services Generalist for Teaching and Learning (the meeting is scheduled for 3PM - teaching staff is not required to extend their day past 3:30 so they will not attend), Mike (hopefully), my advocate (hopefully), and me.

I don't foresee agreeing to any of the team's placement recommendations as none of them meet Cam's needs any better than his current placement, none of them are individualized, and none of them meet the requirement of Least Restrictive Environment that Federal Law guarantees.

This isn't going to be pretty ...

I Have An IEP Meeting At 3:15 Today

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The school called this one ... after Cam's suspension ... I hate to have a shitty attitude going in, but this isn't going to end well.

They want to discuss placement - specifically placement in a program other than Cam's home school. When I asked what the meeting was in regards to, the Local Education Agency Representative (LEA) stated "I am scheduling an IEP meeting to discuss Cam’s placement.  The school would like to discuss the following options for Cameron to best meet his needs.Please understand that these option should not be considered as pre-determination of placement and there is an understanding that this is a team discussion and decision based on the data reviewed.", yet they didn't include Cam's home high school as a placement option.

That sounds pretty predetermined to me ... which is against Federal Law and why the LEA attempted to cover his ass in his statement to me.

The options they are giving Cam?

Night School - a program held at a high school in our district, 17 miles from our home, and where there was recently an armed robbery of a student in the parking lot. The program runs from 6PM - 9PM, Monday-Friday and is core classes only, eliminating Cam's participation in music programs.
Ombudsman - an "alternative" on-line program, contracted for by the school district and held in an office in a business park 17 miles from our home. This program offers daytime hours, 10AM - 2:30PM, Monday - Friday, and is core classes only, eliminating Cam's participation in music programs.
District Alternative High School - A self contained program for students with Emotional and Behavior disorders, 17 miles from our home. The majority of students in this program are special education students who have been expelled from their home school for weapons and/or drug related offenses. This program offers a theraputic component (anger management classes, counseling, etc.) but is core classes only, eliminating Cam's participation in music programs.
Night School with 2 periods at the home high school - the same night school program mentioned above, but adding two classes (Band and PE - Cam's participation in Men's Choir would be eliminated) at Cam's home high school.

When I asked for information on all of these programs (student demographic data, school performance data - the things I am able to easily access for public schools but cannot access on any of these programs), I was told, "Representatives will be at the meeting to answer many of your questions.  Other information can be found on the district website and/or will be discussed at the meeting."

The problem?

These "representatives" were not listed on the IEP meeting invitation which violates Federal Law requiring prior written notice for IEP meetings.

I'm not sure how this will play out, but I do know that I'm done playing nice with people who refuse to offer me the same consideration.

A Slow Comfortable Screw Up Against The Wall

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I probably should have pounded a few of these before yesterday's meeting, or at least brought some lube.

Yes, it was one of those IEP meetings, however I managed to walk out - 2 hours later - with exactly what I wanted.

*NOTE* Not only was it one of those IEP meetings, it is now going to be one of those posts. Some of you will want to stop reading now. Please do!

When we checked in at the office (Mike attends these meetings with me) I learned that there were several people attending the meeting who were not on the original invite (that's a BIG procedural no-no). 

Although I walked in with an open mind and a good attitude, finding 8 teachers and administrators in the conference room, when I was expecting to see 3, kind of soured my good attitude.

The first part of the meeting was to decide if Cam is still eligible for special education services (his trieneal determination).

Cam has been on an IEP since he was 6. When we lived in Minnesota, he qualified for services under the "Autism" disability category. Illinois doesn't use that category, instead lumping autism (and several other disability categories) under "Other Health Impairment" (OHI). Cam has qualified for special education services under OHI for the past 9 years. This should have been routine.

All was well and good until the Education Service Specialist summarized the determination review, stating that he recommended Cam qualify for services under the Emotional Disturbance (ED) category, with OHI being secondary.

Why did this happen?

Because there were questions surrounding why Cam originally received services under the autism designation when he had never had an autism diagnosis. Because I trusted school administrative personnel when I had been told by a medical professional not to.

It was my fault.

I shared - in confidence - Cam's original diagnosis with the school social worker and the Education Service Specialist in a meeting we had in October.

When Cam was diagnosed with Aperger's, he was also diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). Both diagnoses were printed on the report that I shared with the school social worker and the Education Service Specialist, and even though I was clear that I was providing the report for informational purposed only (not to be included in his permanent record), the Education Service Specialist chose to ignore my instructions.

He took one look at that ODD diagnosis and ran with it. ODD is a conduct disorder. 

Kids with conduct disorders are often placed in self-contained learning environments as they are considered dangerous - their behavior is consistently troubling to others and outside of the range of what is considered normal or acceptable. Kids with conduct disorders often show little remorse, guilt, or understanding of the damage and the pain inflicted by their behavior.

This is where I needed the lube. The Education Service Specialist was fucking me right up the ass, and he wasn't even sneaky about it.

There were some terse words. I refused to accept the ED designation - Cam's behaviors do not meet the criteria for ED and I sure as hell wasn't going to allow the Education Service Specialist to focus on one component of a 10-year old diagnosis while ignoring all of the other more recent test data available. 

Eventually, I won.

It wasn't pretty.

It was insightful.

My suspicions that the administration wants to outplace Cam? Confirmed. 

And their plan to do so? Currently foiled.

Now ... to figure out how I'm going to keep things this way for the next 18 months ...

Screwy Hammer

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I have yet another meeting with Cam's school today - this one, his trieneal determination of special education eligibility.

The administration tipped their hand this time. They are usually tight-lipped - preferring to attack from the blindside - hoping parents don't have the sense to stop the plan they put in place long before you ever enter the meeting room.

They want to outplace Cam.

I will fight this. 

Past experience indicates outplacement is not the educational solution for Cam.

Past experience indicates that outplacement is socially and emotionally harmful to Cam.

As fate would have it, I came across Jeff Hunter's blog, Talentism, today. Reading his 2007 post titled My Son Won't Do His Homework gave me the push I needed to fight one more fight. He writes:

But school doesn’t care, because school does not have the objective of helping my son produce the maximum amount of value in the future that he will probably encounter. School cares about ensuring that he knows how to take tests, follow directions and can do math that he will never have to care about for the rest of his life. School cares that he can either prove that he is worthy of being in the top 5% that will go on to be homogenized and brainwashed in a top-notch school so that they are almost completely without originality of thought or perspective or that he gets the hell out of the way for those kids that meet that description. School cares that he can be measured and managed, so that he will be a good little cog in a habitual big wheel.

What he says is true. You can argue with me all that you want and it will still be true.

This isn't because teachers are bad.

It is because the public school system is broken.

Shattered even.

I'm going into this meeting to fight one more fight. 

I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to ensure outplacement does not happen, even if that means declining special education services.

IEPs are supposed to be the equalizer in education. For Cam, the IEP has been used as a tool to segregate and exclude.

I can't keep giving the school a hammer and expecting them to tighten screws with it.

I'm going to take the hammer back.