***
I went into the meeting with Andy's parents with few expectations. In fact, I was well aware that in telling them more of the story, they might just run away screaming. But I'm one to put it all out there and let people judge the truth rather than filling in the blanks with their own prejudices, even though honesty has been known to bite me in the ass.
I did apologize for my failure to alert them to the fact that Cam had named Andy as his alibi. I was so wrapped up in the moment that I didn't consider they might have appreciated a heads-up. They were not at all concerned.
They did start telling their own stories of the high school and the SRO. Although their experiences haven't been as IN YOUR FACE as mine, they've definitely seen similar issues, and they are not happy.
They asked me if I had considered getting an attorney.
I told them it just wasn't an option for me - that I've been doing a lot of legal research and have formulated a strong case as to why the district should not change Cam's placement - and I feel prepared.
They asked why it wasn't an option.
I sucked up my pride and said, "It's just not something I can afford."
There is something quite ... disturbing? About having to admit to anyone that you cannot give your child all the resources he needs for the best possible outcome. Special education is a legal issue, and as is true in all legal issues, more money usually results in a better outcome.
I often wonder if the administration of the school district uses this knowledge to their advantage.
Andy's parents talked about investments - specifically investments in their children. They see Andy and Cam's friendship as something worth investing in, and they see the issues at the high school worthy of change.
They offered to cover the costs of an attorney - of my choice - to fight for Cam. They did suggest I find the biggest, blackest, most intimidating attorney that I could *snicker* Like me, they feel that race may play a part in this, if for no other reason than the fact that Cam is easy to spot in a crowd.
Not only are they willing to cover the costs of an attorney during mediation, but they are willing to continue covering the costs of the attorney should this go to Due Process.
They've also offered Cam a job at their campground beginning in April.
And they are offering to cover the cost of membership at the "local" Lifetime Fitness for Cam, giving him and Andy a constructive outlet for all of that teenage testosterone.
Do I feel a bit like a charity case? Am I having a hard time swallowing my pride and accepting this amazing gift? Yes, and if it were not for the fact these things benefit Cam, I'd have likely declined their offer.
It also validates what I've been seeing and feeling. I was starting to think my conspiracy theorist self had tossed all logic and reason aside for some imaginary, grandiose, wrong doing. For goodness sake, if I were reading this story I'd be wondering how it could be true. Things like this don't happen in our public schools. Our public schools are a safe haven for learning, right??
The more I research the more I realize just how untrue that assumption is.
I'll wrap this series up tomorrow with an update of where we are - what steps I'm taking - where I hope this story goes.
It's good to have hope again.
I often wonder if the administration of the school district uses this knowledge to their advantage.
Andy's parents talked about investments - specifically investments in their children. They see Andy and Cam's friendship as something worth investing in, and they see the issues at the high school worthy of change.
They offered to cover the costs of an attorney - of my choice - to fight for Cam. They did suggest I find the biggest, blackest, most intimidating attorney that I could *snicker* Like me, they feel that race may play a part in this, if for no other reason than the fact that Cam is easy to spot in a crowd.
Not only are they willing to cover the costs of an attorney during mediation, but they are willing to continue covering the costs of the attorney should this go to Due Process.
They've also offered Cam a job at their campground beginning in April.
And they are offering to cover the cost of membership at the "local" Lifetime Fitness for Cam, giving him and Andy a constructive outlet for all of that teenage testosterone.
Do I feel a bit like a charity case? Am I having a hard time swallowing my pride and accepting this amazing gift? Yes, and if it were not for the fact these things benefit Cam, I'd have likely declined their offer.
It also validates what I've been seeing and feeling. I was starting to think my conspiracy theorist self had tossed all logic and reason aside for some imaginary, grandiose, wrong doing. For goodness sake, if I were reading this story I'd be wondering how it could be true. Things like this don't happen in our public schools. Our public schools are a safe haven for learning, right??
The more I research the more I realize just how untrue that assumption is.
I'll wrap this series up tomorrow with an update of where we are - what steps I'm taking - where I hope this story goes.
It's good to have hope again.
5 comments:
Good Luck Dana, The truth is a mighty sword
I am so glad you are going to have some help with this. What a crazysauce thing to have to go through.
'Am I having a hard time swallowing my pride..'
There is no pride to swallow. You have someone that can obviously afford to help and they think it will help their own son. Just do it.
I work in the non-profit industry. We give "charity" to people. Do we ever feel that we're doing so? Nope. Never. We just feel that we're doing the right thing. Just as YOU always have felt about your efforts on behalf of your son.
It's all about money. The school is backed by the Town/County's money so litigation doesn't scare them. That's why you NEED an attorney to call their bluff and drive up their legal costs. That get's their attention.
If people don't accept gifts then folks couldn't derive any joy from gift giving.
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